Hi Kib … you are on the right path , asking is always good … scripture says live with your wife in an understanding way . One of the best things my husband does is teaches me about God . If he learns something , he comes home and tells me about it . If he wants to know something the church teaches he involves me in the finding out about it . He prays with me . That alone is huge . He prays over me most every morning before we get out of bed .
Leading is really hard , there is a fine line between being a leader and being a dictator . You as the husband have the responsibility for your wife , you will need to learn how to correct her without causing her to rebel . I happen to be cursed with a stubborn streak , that has caused my husband and I no end of grief . He has learned tho that the tone he says things to me in makes a difference . He does not correct me in public … .
One of the things he has corrected me on is how or rather where I drive . I have not paid much attention to staying in the right hand lane on the freeway . When he first corrected me he said " These guys wouldnt have to break the law and pass you on the right if you would move over where you belong " in a harsh tone . You can imagine how this went over . He is a professional driver by the way , and had not been happy with much of my driving . We learned together , him to speak kindly yet firmly and me to submit to both the law and my husband .
We are very traditional and follow the magisterium faithfully . That means if we disagree on some decision or another , he breaks the tie by deciding . His job is to make that decision stick , my job is to submit to his headship gracefully . I dont always manage that and neither does he . Its what we try for tho . He takes my views , wants and temperament into consideration as well .
My husband treats me like a lady , he shelters me from things that make me cry or cringe and avoids going into grisly detail that he would share with a buddy
Lead your future wife by lifting her up and by walking everything you talk . Let her in on your struggles so that she may pray for you . Treat your life together not as two lives in one household , but as one life lived together . Look for hobbies that you two can share , things that you can teach your wife are lovely . My husband has taught me to weld and whittle and all sorts of things . I pray for your future marriage . hope this ramble was clear enough to help a bit .
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I will say this, you need to have a strong faith/spiritual life. I am not saying you need to go mushy gushy over spiritual things, but you need to have God help you be self aware and know what you have and what you lack in your being. Once you are honest with yourself and ask God to help you with these things you can then live your life as yourself. If you can do this (always looking to be yourself, but the self that God has called you to be) then a wife can love you for who you are. Think King Solomon and wisdom. I personally think wisdom is a very important trait for husbands, fathers and all men. (though I guess it would depend on the man and his personal gift and traits).