Questions for the Pastor

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Well I need a little help or advice from some people. I am a catholic man who is dating a protestant. Specifically she goes to an independent Baptist Church. I don’t know too much about that faith, but from what I have studied it seems similar to many other protestant faiths. In order to learn more about our faiths we have decided to speak to my Catholic priest and then go talk to a Baptist Pastor that used to be Catholic. If I am making a mistake, please tell me now. She said that if I knew a baptist that turned out to become a Catholic priest then she would go talk to him, but I don’t know of any.

I don’t know what to expect, but my significant other states that she doesn’t want to convince me of anything or convert me, it is just to see if we even have a chance at having a better relationship (which is more like saving it then anything).

My gut feeling tells me that since this Baptist Pastor is a heretic, then he will want to try to disprove my faith or just convince me what they preach is the truth. I would really like not to get sucked into any theological debates and was just wondering if anyone, maybe another independent Baptist could provide me with some insight of their faith or maybe just prepare me or warn me about what could happen.

I figured if the Pastor asks me what is my problem with the Baptist faith I will just have to answer with closed ended questions. I am sort of nervous about this and like I said I don’t want to get sucked into any debates because I am somewhat short tempered so any help from any protestants or catholics would be greatly appreciated.
 
In the orthodox tradition, we see our spiritual father,priest,and confessor.
 
Matt_Macomber said:
Well I need a little help or advice from some people. I am a catholic man who is dating a protestant. Specifically she goes to an independent Baptist Church. I don’t know too much about that faith, but from what I have studied it seems similar to many other protestant faiths. In order to learn more about our faiths we have decided to speak to my Catholic priest and then go talk to a Baptist Pastor that used to be Catholic. If I am making a mistake, please tell me now. She said that if I knew a baptist that turned out to become a Catholic priest then she would go talk to him, but I don’t know of any.

I don’t know what to expect, but my significant other states that she doesn’t want to convince me of anything or convert me, it is just to see if we even have a chance at having a better relationship (which is more like saving it then anything).

My gut feeling tells me that since this Baptist Pastor is a heretic, then he will want to try to disprove my faith or just convince me what they preach is the truth. I would really like not to get sucked into any theological debates and was just wondering if anyone, maybe another independent Baptist could provide me with some insight of their faith or maybe just prepare me or warn me about what could happen.

I figured if the Pastor asks me what is my problem with the Baptist faith I will just have to answer with closed ended questions. I am sort of nervous about this and like I said I don’t want to get sucked into any debates because I am somewhat short tempered so any help from any protestants or catholics would be greatly appreciated.
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I’m married to a Baptist, but we were both Protestant when we married, so I have some idea of the Protesant outlook. Even so, my old Presbyterian (Methodist trained) pastor warned me that he thought I “might have trouble with the Baptists. They’re very much aware of being ‘Baptist’, much more so than Presbyterians are of being ‘Presbyterian’ for example.”

So far I haven’t had much, but then I don’t say much about my Catholic faith on those occasions when I do go to my wife’s church or home group, since I’m not interested in starting a religious dog-fight.

Personally I think you’re setting yourself up for trouble. Unless you can see that she’s going to give Catholicism a fair hearing, you’re going to be in for a divisive time.

But it’s your decision. “Love is blind” as they say.
 
Matt_Macomber said:
Well I need a little help or advice from some people. I am a catholic man who is dating a protestant. Specifically she goes to an independent Baptist Church. I don’t know too much about that faith, but from what I have studied it seems similar to many other protestant faiths. In order to learn more about our faiths we have decided to speak to my Catholic priest and then go talk to a Baptist Pastor that used to be Catholic. If I am making a mistake, please tell me now. She said that if I knew a baptist that turned out to become a Catholic priest then she would go talk to him, but I don’t know of any.

I don’t know what to expect, but my significant other states that she doesn’t want to convince me of anything or convert me, it is just to see if we even have a chance at having a better relationship (which is more like saving it then anything).

My gut feeling tells me that since this Baptist Pastor is a heretic, then he will want to try to disprove my faith or just convince me what they preach is the truth. I would really like not to get sucked into any theological debates and was just wondering if anyone, maybe another independent Baptist could provide me with some insight of their faith or maybe just prepare me or warn me about what could happen.

I figured if the Pastor asks me what is my problem with the Baptist faith I will just have to answer with closed ended questions. I am sort of nervous about this and like I said I don’t want to get sucked into any debates because I am somewhat short tempered so any help from any protestants or catholics would be greatly appreciated.
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I had dated a protestant for a while and the faith thing was never an issue becuse we both belived in the basics like jesus is the son of god who died for our sins and is risen from the dead. You say your girlfriend does not want to convert you so what is the problem? that only thing that will come up is if you marry she has to promise not to interfere with any childern being raised in the catholic church. Just live your faith and love one another and let the holy spirit do his thing and enjoy life. and if others start in on you about some differences in theology just ignore them. that is my advice take from it what you will.
 
To the Original Poster,

It sounds like your girlfriend would like you to convert to her religion. If you do go talk to this pastor, who is an ex-Catholic, make it clear you do not want to get into a debate.

Mixed marriages can be a problem because Protestants who feel strongly about their faith will not want to make the commitment to bring up the children you have as Catholics. It is a rare mixed marriage that has such peace and harmony, but they do exist. Each partner must have respect for the other partner’s convictions, and a firm commitment to the promise to raise their children as Catholics.
 
I’d be wary of an ex-catholic now-pastor of an Independent Baptist congregation. Ex-catholics are generally virulently anti-catholic (they have to keep proving to themselves and everyone else that they were right to “escape” the “apostate” church). Your girlfriend may not be trying to convert you, but he will be.

It’s tough to generalize about what these “independent” churches teach (they’re “independent,” after all). Probably he will try to show you that salvation does not require baptism and eucharist but only “faith” by which they mean “believing in Jesus/accepting Jesus as your personal Savior.” And therefore, they say, any church that teaches that you must do anything other than “believe” is teaching “another gospel” and is an abomination. They have very specific proof-text verses to make each of these points (and of course avoid any of the many verses that would, if taken out of context, “prove” the exact opposite . . . the point of course being that we must follow the whole teaching, not just bits and pieces of it.

If he does ask you “what your problem is with the Baptist faith” (which I’d be surprised if he did) I would respond that you don’t have any problem with it except that it is incomplete. Only within the Church can you not only be blessed by Jesus’ spiritual presence but by His physical Presence, as well. Only within the Church can you eat His flesh and drink His blood, as He told us we must (John 6). How could you walk away from that to subsist on bread and juice? Only in the Church He founded do you have the assurance that Truth is preserved as He intended. Why would you embrace a faith that tells you it’s up to you to figure out what is true and what is conjecture or misinterpretation?

Baptists preserve a portion of the Apostolic faith. They do so, for the most part, with sincerity and fervor, and that is a very good thing. But it is still only a portion.
 
Bob_Crowley said:
I’m married to a Baptist, but we were both Protestant when we married, so I have some idea of the Protesant outlook. Even so, my old Presbyterian (Methodist trained) pastor warned me that he thought I “might have trouble with the Baptists. They’re very much aware of being ‘Baptist’, much more so than Presbyterians are of being ‘Presbyterian’ for example.”

So far I haven’t had much, but then I don’t say much about my Catholic faith on those occasions when I do go to my wife’s church or home group, since I’m not interested in starting a religious dog-fight.

Personally I think you’re setting yourself up for trouble. Unless you can see that she’s going to give Catholicism a fair hearing, you’re going to be in for a divisive time.

But it’s your decision. “Love is blind” as they say.
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Good for you not to start a dog fight. So I don’t understand why you think he is getting into trouble if you are married to a Baptist. If your spouse can give Catholicism a fair hearing and you can go with your wife to her church or group, why couldn’t it work? It’s all about love. And if we can learn to work in the spirit of ecumenical unity, remember we are united in Christ, all things are possible with Him.
 
jpk1313 said:
I had dated a protestant for a while and the faith thing was never an issue becuse we both belived in the basics like jesus is the son of god who died for our sins and is risen from the dead. You say your girlfriend does not want to convert you so what is the problem? that only thing that will come up is if you marry she has to promise not to interfere with any childern being raised in the catholic church. Just live your faith and love one another and let the holy spirit do his thing and enjoy life. and if others start in on you about some differences in theology just ignore them. that is my advice take from it what you will.
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👍
 
CMatt25 said:
Good for you not to start a dog fight. So I don’t understand why you think he is getting into trouble if you are married to a Baptist. If your spouse can give Catholicism a fair hearing and you can go with your wife to her church or group, why couldn’t it work? It’s all about love. And if we can learn to work in the spirit of ecumenical unity, remember we are united in Christ, all things are possible with Him.
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I go to her church sometimes, but she hasn’t been to a mass once, except for a Carols night, which is a bit different, although it included a mass. Her main contact with other Catholics is the few people in the St. Vincent de Paul conference I’m involved with, which is a practical outreach.

And I’ve been Catholic now for about 13 years, pretty much as long as I was Protestant.

In other words, our house of worship is divided. That’s my concern for the original OP. And we don’t have children to complicate the issue - which church? Which school? Where are they going to get married? Will she attend his church as much as he attends her church? Which missionaries will they support? Which charities?
 
Matt_Macomber said:
Well I need a little help or advice from some people. I am a catholic man who is dating a protestant. Specifically she goes to an independent Baptist Church. I don’t know too much about that faith, but from what I have studied it seems similar to many other protestant faiths. In order to learn more about our faiths we have decided to speak to my Catholic priest and then go talk to a Baptist Pastor that used to be Catholic. If I am making a mistake, please tell me now. She said that if I knew a baptist that turned out to become a Catholic priest then she would go talk to him, but I don’t know of any.

I don’t know what to expect, but my significant other states that she doesn’t want to convince me of anything or convert me, it is just to see if we even have a chance at having a better relationship (which is more like saving it then anything).

My gut feeling tells me that since this Baptist Pastor is a heretic, then he will want to try to disprove my faith or just convince me what they preach is the truth. I would really like not to get sucked into any theological debates and was just wondering if anyone, maybe another independent Baptist could provide me with some insight of their faith or maybe just prepare me or warn me about what could happen.

I figured if the Pastor asks me what is my problem with the Baptist faith I will just have to answer with closed ended questions. I am sort of nervous about this and like I said I don’t want to get sucked into any debates because I am somewhat short tempered so any help from any protestants or catholics would be greatly appreciated.
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I would strongly urge you to consider if it is worth marrying someone who is not Catholic. To me that is asking for trouble.
 
Matt_Macomber said:
Well I need a little help or advice from some people. I am a catholic man who is dating a protestant. Specifically she goes to an independent Baptist Church. I don’t know too much about that faith, but from what I have studied it seems similar to many other protestant faiths. In order to learn more about our faiths we have decided to speak to my Catholic priest and then go talk to a Baptist Pastor that used to be Catholic. If I am making a mistake, please tell me now. She said that if I knew a baptist that turned out to become a Catholic priest then she would go talk to him, but I don’t know of any.

I don’t know what to expect, but my significant other states that she doesn’t want to convince me of anything or convert me, it is just to see if we even have a chance at having a better relationship (which is more like saving it then anything).

My gut feeling tells me that since this Baptist Pastor is a heretic, then he will want to try to disprove my faith or just convince me what they preach is the truth. I would really like not to get sucked into any theological debates and was just wondering if anyone, maybe another independent Baptist could provide me with some insight of their faith or maybe just prepare me or warn me about what could happen.

I figured if the Pastor asks me what is my problem with the Baptist faith I will just have to answer with closed ended questions. I am sort of nervous about this and like I said I don’t want to get sucked into any debates because I am somewhat short tempered so any help from any protestants or catholics would be greatly appreciated.
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To me, this says that in order to successfully continue the relationship, the matter of different faiths needs to be resolved, no?

The question that needs to be asked is, would either or you be willing to give up your dedication/devotion/whatever word you’d use to describe it to stay together?

I’d suggest answering this question before you start exploring.
 
🤷 Those of you discouraging the OP must not know of as many Catholic and Protestant loving, committed marriages as I.
 
To me, the sticking point is the pastor who is a “former Catholic”. What kind of untruths has he told his church about Catholics? How deep is his bitterness toward the Church? How much of this has the girl picked up? Just a few questions to ask.
 
It could be a fine conversation, or not. The fact that he was a Catholic might mean he has a reactionary attitude (as do many Baptists who become Catholic) or it may mean that he can speak your language in a way that will be helpful.

I would be very clear just what kind of discussion you want to have, and that you are not interested in being converted, and make sure your gf passes that on ahead of time.

On the other hand, don’t be overly sensitive. Explaining differences in Baptist and Catholic theology, or even explaining why he prefers the Baptist position, is not trying to convert you.

Remember that ultimately as Christians you have more in common than what separates you.

If you think your gf as a heretic, I would be surprised if you can make your relationship work. Better top think of her as someone doing her best to follow Christ, just as you are.
 
Matt_Macomber said:
Well I need a little help or advice from some people. I am a catholic man who is dating a protestant. Specifically she goes to an independent Baptist Church. I don’t know too much about that faith, but from what I have studied it seems similar to many other protestant faiths. In order to learn more about our faiths we have decided to speak to my Catholic priest and then go talk to a Baptist Pastor that used to be Catholic. If I am making a mistake, please tell me now. She said that if I knew a baptist that turned out to become a Catholic priest then she would go talk to him, but I don’t know of any.

I don’t know what to expect, but my significant other states that she doesn’t want to convince me of anything or convert me, it is just to see if we even have a chance at having a better relationship (which is more like saving it then anything).

My gut feeling tells me that since this Baptist Pastor is a heretic, then he will want to try to disprove my faith or just convince me what they preach is the truth. I would really like not to get sucked into any theological debates and was just wondering if anyone, maybe another independent Baptist could provide me with some insight of their faith or maybe just prepare me or warn me about what could happen.

I figured if the Pastor asks me what is my problem with the Baptist faith I will just have to answer with closed ended questions. I am sort of nervous about this and like I said I don’t want to get sucked into any debates because I am somewhat short tempered so any help from any protestants or catholics would be greatly appreciated.
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Hi Matt,

I graduated from a prominent independent Baptist College and pastored for seven years. It would be interesting to me to know where this pastor went to school. I always know that we would have common acquaintances if we didn’t know each other. It’s a small world.

I don’t believe in that “I’ll go to your church that I don’t believe in if you’ll go to my church that you don’t believe in” stuff. I would recommend against it no matter what other religion you were considering. If you are having any doubts, see your priest, not a formerly Catholic independent Baptist who can quote Scripture for a half hour without stopping. If you are not having doubts about your faith, thank God for it, and don’t expose yourself deliberately to error.

If your dating partner is really serious about her own faith, she is hoping her pastor will show you how to get “saved” and will dump you if you don’t. If her parents are seriously active, they are alarmed that their daughter would be dating a Catholic. If she isn’t serious, just tell her you’re Catholic and not interested in anything else. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t date. I’m saying that you should refuse to meet with this man. Tell her your faith is non-negotiable. Dating isn’t regulated by the Federal Communications Commission and there is no clause requiring equal time for fallen away Catholics. I’m saying that your Catholic and Apostolic faith shouldn’t be presented in the manner suggested to a fallen away Catholic minister, as though that makes him better qualified to speak on the subject of your faith. In my experience, Former Catholics are notorious for being among the most misinformed, unreasonable, and outspoken critics of our beliefs. Double that for an independent Baptist, and triple it for a minister.

Sincerely,

Rory
 
Burried deep in the OP is a Question!!!
Matt_Macomber said:
I would really like not to get sucked into any theological debates and was just wondering if anyone, maybe another independent Baptist could provide me with some insight of their faith or maybe just prepare me or warn me about what could happen.
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I will tell you exactly what will happen.

First, I assume that you and your GF have been together for a while and I assume that the next logical step in your relationship is some sort of legalized agreement between both of you and further I assume that this is why there is a sudden mutual interest in your respective faiths. I also assume that you are a nominal Catholic and you have predetermined that you are not ever going to be associated with the Baptist church since it would put you in a awkward social position with family and friends.

OK, your priest will tell your GF all about Peter getting the keys and the RCC being the one true church Christ established and that the only baptism that saves is that administered by a RCC bishop and all about the real presence. A quick stop at the chiropractor to get your c-spine realigned due to nodding it in enthaustic agreement, and off to meet a Baptist pastor who will hand you a Bible and tell you if it isn’t in the book, it’s not part of the faith.

Of course you will not like all of this. Agruements and tears will follow and you will come to realize that this is not the relationship you had hoped for.

Matt, you have already decided the outcome of the meetings and just going through the motions. This will not end well. So there, you have the answer, this is what is going to happen, relationship over. The only unknown is when does it end?

Take care,
Jon
 
Bluegoat said:
Remember that ultimately as Christians you have more in common than what separates you.

If you think your gf as a heretic, I would be surprised if you can make your relationship work. Better top think of her as someone doing her best to follow Christ, just as you are.
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:clapping: :extrahappy: :grouphug: :amen: I love when I read words such as these. 👍
 
CMatt25 said:
🤷 Those of you discouraging the OP must not know of as many Catholic and Protestant loving, committed marriages as I.
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I don’t think anyone is saying it is not possible. We are saying that it is usually not a good idea. There is always an exception possible, and I am glad to hear you are one of them!
 
Jon_Hus said:
Burried deep in the OP is a Question!!!

I will tell you exactly what will happen.

First, I assume that you and your GF have been together for a while and I assume that the next logical step in your relationship is some sort of legalized agreement between both of you and further I assume that this is why there is a sudden mutual interest in your respective faiths. I also assume that you are a nominal Catholic and you have predetermined that you are not ever going to be associated with the Baptist church since it would put you in a awkward social position with family and friends.

OK, your priest will tell your GF all about Peter getting the keys and the RCC being the one true church Christ established and that the only baptism that saves is that administered by a RCC bishop and all about the real presence. A quick stop at the chiropractor to get your c-spine realigned due to nodding it in enthaustic agreement, and off to meet a Baptist pastor who will hand you a Bible and tell you if it isn’t in the book, it’s not part of the faith.

Of course you will not like all of this. Agruements and tears will follow and you will come to realize that this is not the relationship you had hoped for.

Matt, you have already decided the outcome of the meetings and just going through the motions. This will not end well. So there, you have the answer, this is what is going to happen, relationship over. The only unknown is when does it end?

Take care,
Jon
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My girlfriend doesn’t really mind if we don’t go to a Baptist church, she just doesn’t want to go to a Catholic Church. And I totally agree with your post above, but wouldn’t you think since he used to be a Catholic he would know where to find in the bible the things Catholics do. After all, we don’t teach what’s not in the bible, right?

And I will tell her to mention to him that this meeting isn’t about the Baptist belief or that I don’t agree with it, but just so we can have someone to talk to that might ease our minds. After all, there are a lot of things that I could probably point out with his religion that isn’t in the bible, such as baptism of adults, sola scriptura, or the eucharist. But I am very much hoping that isn’t where this conversation will lead.

This thought I have in the back of my mind is that this Baptist preacher may have wanted to become a man of God himself, but he wasn’t ready for a life of celibacy due to the Catholic priestly tradition. So I was thinking that there is a great possibility that he just wanted to become a pastor due to the fact that he can marry. I know that no pastor would ever admit that this is why they chose that religion but is this a good possibility?
 
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