Questions from a Scrupulous Mind

[Redeemed92]

I tend to lean on the scrupulous side of things, so naturally I have burning questions that need to be resolved. My question is this–well actually I better phrase it as a situation.

Sometimes I feel like something might be mortally sinful, but I don’t panic at that point. First, I try to look at the situation rationally, name the underlying problem this action might contain, and then logically try to go from there. However, sometimes, deep down inside, I think, “This can’t possibly warrant grave matter…it seems like such a common thing.” So if the action comes to pass I side with this feeling, because it seems more logical, even though I may have deduced otherwise beforehand.

That’s pretty abstract… maybe I can give an example. So say I have acne. It’s really annoying, so I want to pop the pimple. I start to think to myself, “Wait, this is harming my body. Self-mutilation, in fact! Since I am destroying the protective nature of the skin, which is an organ, I am destroying an organ enough to prevent it from carrying out it’s natural job. Therefore popping a pimple must be mortal sin, because it’s based on self-mutilation.”

And then the other (rational?) side of me comes in and thinks… “This is ridiculous… it’s such a small part of the skin, how could one little small part constitute mutilation?”

And say I go through with it… is it mortal sin because there exists a (somewhat) rational basis (self-mutilation) for the gravity?

I’m so sorry for asking this if it seems ridiculous, but something’s just not sitting well.
Thanks for your help.

 

[epiphany08]

I’m so sorry for asking this if it seems ridiculous, but something’s just not sitting well.

Never apologize for being curious, it is the catalyst for knowledge. Our curiosity plays an integral role to the development of humankind as a whole.

Don’t know if this may answer your question but it is something to consider. The mind and the heart are two different entities that often contradicts one another. You may be caught in a situation where your heart tells you something may be the right thing to do but your mind will reason itself telling you otherwise. Both are very complex and the feelings or thoughts you have can be attributed to many things, much of which we have yet to understand.

Won’t go too deep into this as one could write a lifetime book on the matter.

Just some food for thought.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I tend to lean on the scrupulous side of things, so naturally I have burning questions that need to be resolved. My question is this–well actually I better phrase it as a situation.

Sometimes I feel like something might be mortally sinful, but I don’t panic at that point. First, I try to look at the situation rationally, name the underlying problem this action might contain, and then logically try to go from there. However, sometimes, deep down inside, I think, “This can’t possibly warrant grave matter…it seems like such a common thing.” So if the action comes to pass I side with this feeling, because it seems more logical, even though I may have deduced otherwise beforehand.

That’s pretty abstract… maybe I can give an example. So say I have acne. It’s really annoying, so I want to pop the pimple. I start to think to myself, “Wait, this is harming my body. Self-mutilation, in fact! Since I am destroying the protective nature of the skin, which is an organ, I am destroying an organ enough to prevent it from carrying out it’s natural job. Therefore popping a pimple must be mortal sin, because it’s based on self-mutilation.”

And then the other (rational?) side of me comes in and thinks… “This is ridiculous… it’s such a small part of the skin, how could one little small part constitute mutilation?”

And say I go through with it… is it mortal sin because there exists a (somewhat) rational basis (self-mutilation) for the gravity?

I’m so sorry for asking this if it seems ridiculous, but something’s just not sitting well.
Thanks for your help.

O do not know much about the subject, so do not my message for a cure.
But is comes to my mind that I could be thinking that way. The difference is that you pay much attention to it and lead it to tragedy. I bring it to the funny side.
I think that you are a very creative person, so you think of all the wild suppostions possible. if you laughed, all right no problem. But you lead to drama and it becomes a tragedy.

Mortal Sin was black they told me in infancy. If you go to confession you become white. The problem with mortal sins was that I was always black.

Many priests do not talk in mortal sin anymore. They talk about fundamental decision. Suppose that you go from Frankfurt to Paris. You aregoing to Paris, right. You may gest lost sometimes but you are going to Paris. It is your choice for God that matter, to do His will, to fulfill your obligations to obey his orders that is what matters. You fail, ok, you go to confession, you eat God’s Body and Blood, you are with Him. This makes more sense than saying that you are in heaven.hell.heaven-hell. as with mortal sins.

 

[JRKH]

It is my belief that the tendency toward Scrupulosity stems from an overly legalistic view of faith and of sin. This legalism makes things overly complicated and results in the problem that you describe in your post.
Take your acne example. If we follow the logic that popping the pimple is self mutilation, then what is surgery to remove a tumor? Both things require your consent and both cause “damage” to the body…But both are also done for a greater good, the removal of a disease/infection. Both are done out of right Love of self.

Read Mt 22:36-40.
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.”
Note first of all that Love is the common denominator in this. All “Law” is based on this - on Love.

Now consider how this fits in with the issue of self mutilation.
You pop a pimple in order to open it up, remove the infection and then maybe treat the wound with something to help it heal. Far from being something harmful to the body, it is actually something that is loving.
Compare this to someone who smokes, or gets drunk, or other damaging and self destructive things. Such activities are not correcting a wrong, but in fact are creating a wrong. They do not stem from a proper love of God or of self…

So - Love really is the touchstone to use in determining if something is sinful.

Does this help?

Peace
James

 

[Bookcat]

Such is what often happens in terms of scruples. Not all but certainly it can be common.

A person’s reason (their more formed conscience…formed via the Church) will tell them such and such is not a sin or a venial sin (though of course we should avoid such). Where as their scruples…will doubt (scrupulosity is even called “the doubting disease” by the French due to the frequent “apparent doubt” …though it is often really not a real doubt in the positive sense…and though it is not really a “disease”) and seek to make it what it is not. Will see sin where it is not or mortal sin where it is not. The scruple-fear though can “nag” the person even though on the other hand they “see” in their reason that such is not.

It is important for those with scruples to have a regular confessor. And with his direction and principles he may give or approve… work to overcome their scruples.
To “act against them” to “dismiss them”, to despise them…

Contra scruplos agendum est, et fixo operis pede certandum

(Act contrary to scruples and with a firm foot overcome them)

Scruples are like a barking dog or a hissing goose…one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? No one keeps walking (borrowed in essence from a 15th cent. Carthusian).

(If I can be of further help…feel free to pm)

 

[JRKH]

Bookcat said:
Scruples are like a barking dog or a hissing goose…one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? No one keeps walking (borrowed in essence from a 15th cent. Carthusian).

I really like this…

Peace
James

 

[Redeemed92]

Thank you for helping me with this, epiphany, James, Pfaffenhoffen, Bookcat.

I would really like to get a regular confessor. I really would. It’s just I’m so embarrassed by my scruples because I don’t want to seem holier-than-thou. I just want to receive some logical feedback. I really think there might be some logical basis for some of my scruples.

Scruples are like a barking dog or a hissing goose…one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? No one keeps walking (borrowed in essence from a 15th cent. Carthusian).

Ah, but if it were so easy for my mind to see it this way. Continuing the analogy, I tend to try to take the warning of the hissing geese… is there a storm coming? Is that what they are trying to say?

I would like to share an example of how legalism has actually helped me out recently but my mind is telling me no… for fear of detraction. That’s another big subject which gives me problems. I can’t even read news stories on the internet anymore, because I am afraid of somehow opening up a doorway for this sin.

Another subject I would like to touch on is fraternal correction. I bring this up because it relates to the above paragraph. Things can get really twisted around when you combine these. For example, this is the line of thinking that you must go through to determine whether you should open your mouth or not when someone is detracting:

Do I have an obligation to offer fraternal correction?
Is the act grave matter?

Does the detraction seriously damage the target?​

Is the name disclosed?​

Is the act disclosed grave matter?​

Will this cause others to laugh at the subject, causing more grave acts?​

Will they receive my fraternal correction positively?

Will my fraternal correction be received as ridicule, and hurt the person I’m trying to help?​

If I don’t say something, will I be full of regrets and doubts?
Has God chosen me as the one most able to fulfill this possible obligation?

There’s more, Audio Sancto had a good sermon on this subject, but I can’t remember what the rest is But you can see what I’m getting at. How am I supposed to judge this accurately every time, and quickly, because as you can see it’s quite a checklist to go through?

Thank you

 

[JRKH]

May we ask - What is the problem with obtaining a regular confessor?

On the matter of Fraternal correction, I would suggest that until you have your own spiritual journey under control better that you are under no obligation to try to correct others. Since you are struggling with scruples, you could find yourself projecting this struggles onto others and do more damage.
In a more general sense, Fraternal correction need not be a “spur of the moment” thing. In fact it is probably better if employed after the fact when both parties are alone and can speak quietly and candidly. This fits perfectly with Jesus’ instruction in Mt 18:15.

It is pretty obvious from your posts that you are quite young spiritually and probably young physically. I will offer to you my key to the journey. That key is to not think too much about sin. Instead think about Love. God’s Love for you and your Love for Him. Then think about how that Love for Got is shared by how you love, treat and interact with others.

It’s about focus. If one focuses on sin, they are like an archer who is focused on what is NOT the target. No archer can do well if they are constantly focused on what they are supposed to miss. Instead keep your focus on the target, which is Love.

When you say your prayers at night. Recall, not how you failed, but how you succeeded in showing Love. When you awake in the morning say,
“Heavenly Father, Thank you for this glorious day, for all the blessings you have bestowed on us, and for the opportunity to serve you in Love.”
Then follow this with the short prayer in my signature.

Have you read St Therese of Liseaux’s, "The Story of a Soul?
I hope this is of help.

Peace
James

 

[Miriam1947]

@ Redeemed try this site:

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm

Ten Commandments
for the Scrupulous
Rev. Thomas M. Santa, C.SS.R.

This is a perfect time to review the Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous, first proposed by Father Don Miller, C.SS.R., almost thirty years ago. These commandments have frequently appeared in the SA bulletin and previous directors have referred to them. Many of you have also referred to them as being very helpful.

As we review the commandments, I will state the commandment as proposed by Father Don, and then follow it with a short commentary. I would like to give credit to both Father Dan Lowery and Father Pat Kaler for any comments that I might suggest in commentary. For my reflections I have relied on their wisdom and direction as it has been collected over the years in the pages of SA.

The first three commandments refer to the celebration of the sacrament of reconciliation and to the confession of sins. They contain a great deal of practical wisdom for the scrupulous.

 

[Bookcat]

Thank you for helping me with this, epiphany, James, Pfaffenhoffen, Bookcat.

I would really like to get a regular confessor. I really would. It’s just I’m so embarrassed by my scruples because I don’t want to seem holier-than-thou. I just want to receive some logical feedback. I really think there might be some logical basis for some of my scruples.

You need a regular confessor. This is very key in regards to scruples.
Even if you are working hard to overcome your scruples…you need a confessor that you can “obey”. (of course if he tells you something clearly contrary to the Church…like go murder your boss …well then find another!) This is *essential *for one with scruples.

It would be best of course to have one who is experienced with such but do not wait “til you find the right one”.

So your first step is to bit the bullet and set your embarrassment aside. And seek out a good Priest as a regular confessor. Telling him of your scruples and asking him to guide you. (or to recommend another Priest).

Often those with scruples are very intelligent persons …and may be very knowledgeable …but they are to as St. Thomas More tell us…observe the custom of physicians and go to another for care. They need to go to another for direction.Not seek to examine and treat themselves.

Even if they are Priests, or University Professors…or logicians this is the way. And has been for centuries.

 

[Bookcat]

Ah, but if it were so easy for my mind to see it this way. Continuing the analogy, I tend to try to take the warning of the hissing geese… is there a storm coming? Is that what they are trying to say?

Yes of course. Do not think you are singular here. I have had experience with various persons with various degrees and kinds of scruples. Such can be a problem with many.

But the saying stands true.

This is where you must “play the man” and overcome yourself. Overcome rather your scruples. You must with a “firm foot” overcome them. Despise them even!

You see you must have a regular confessor whose direction you follow. Who can settle your questions and fears etc. Then you with his help you can know better what is a scruple and what needs be dismissed firmly.

Follow with humility and firmness…and simplicity. As one Saint with scruples put it to the effect “Lord I will obey …even if you only give me a dog to follow I will obey and follow that dog.”

 

[Bookcat]

How am I supposed to judge this accurately every time, and quickly, because as you can see it’s quite a checklist to go through?

Thank you

Again…one needs a regular confessor. Yes often theological study of the right sources can clear up various scruples. But even the most learned can be troubled with scruples. Heck one of the Doctors of the Church was scrupulous.

Look. With time and direction, prayer and repeated acting against (with direction) your scruples…dismissing them …and perhaps with good study etc…what can happen is things will become more and more “connatural”. That is it will be come more “second nature”. It will be part of you. You will not need to “go through a checklist” but will have more your “sea-legs” morally speaking. The virtue of prudence will increase in you and you will be able to judge more quickly what is what and what to do “hic et nunc” (here and now).

But really you need to find a regular confessor. One you trust who thinks with the Church. You will basically borrow his judgment and prudence for a time while yours gets corrected. Ask him to take responsibility for you…if he makes a mistake in guiding you …it is on him not you. You are to one degree or another like a ship without a compass or with a defective compass…or even without a rudder. You mistake your fears-scruples for your conscience. You need direction from a regular confessor.

(As to fraternal correction…speak with your confessor. It can be the case that a scrupulous person should not attempt to “fraternally correct” …for their scruples make a problem of it…and so they may be directed by their confessor to not do so. etc)

 

[Bookcat]

You need a regular confessor. This is very key in regards to scruples.
Even if you are working hard to overcome your scruples…you need a confessor that you can “obey”. (of course if he tells you something clearly contrary to the Church…like go murder your boss …well then find another!) This is *essential *for one with scruples.

It would be best of course to have one who is experienced with such but do not wait “til you find the right one”.

So your first step is to bit the bullet and set your embarrassment aside. And seek out a good Priest as a regular confessor. Telling him of your scruples and asking him to guide you. (or to recommend another Priest).

Often those with scruples are very intelligent persons …and may be very knowledgeable …but they are to as St. Thomas More tell us…observe the custom of physicians and go to another for care. They need to go to another for direction. Not seek to examine and treat themselves.

Even if they are Priests, or University Professors…or logicians this is the way. And has been for centuries.

 

[Redeemed92]

There really isn’t a problem for me to obtain a regular confessor I suppose. I actually just moved to a new parish so I suppose it would be better than being around priests who knew me…perhaps the new priests can look at me more objectively? But then I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’m just not sure how I should bring this up in confession…

@ Redeemed try this site:

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm

Ten Commandments
for the Scrupulous
Rev. Thomas M. Santa, C.SS.R.

Thank you for your concern. I tried following this advice for a long time… and it worked well for a while. But then I panicked, I guess. I suppose that is the OCD, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Anyway, I felt like maybe I was being too liberal with it, and when it came time for Communion, I just couldn’t put my doubts aside.

I think that is one of the greatest fears of mine. I won’t say “Oh, that’s not a valid sin” and go to Communion with confidence. I won’t do it. I just cannot face such a thing. And I don’t think it’s heretical what I have going on, thinking I will never be good enough to receive. It’s just recently that I’ve had a profound recognition of what Communion is.

Also in regards to prudence: yes it sounds like a good, holy thing for someone to develop. I am just very confused because there seems to be a very exact list made out and I don’t know if it will transfer well to everyday life.

And yes, I think I’m not too good at fraternal correction. Every time, I feel I come off awkward, or out-of-touch. Does it say anything about the necessity of fraternal correction if someone tries to discredit you?

Thank you for bearing with me in this valley. God bless

 

[JRKH]

There really isn’t a problem for me to obtain a regular confessor I suppose. I actually just moved to a new parish so I suppose it would be better than being around priests who knew me…perhaps the new priests can look at me more objectively? But then I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’m just not sure how I should bring this up in confession…

First, let me say that Bookcat is giving excellent advice and seems to have direct experience with this. Additionally let me say that I have always found Bookcat to give good sound advice.

Now to my 2 cents worth.
The way you bring this up is “Father I have trouble with Scruples…”. Then just let things flow from there. Time in the confessional is fairly limited, so he may wish to set up an appointment to deal with this more in depth.
Just remember that Priests have “heard it all before”…

Thank you for your concern. I tried following this advice for a long time… and it worked well for a while. But then I panicked, I guess. I suppose that is the OCD, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Anyway, I felt like maybe I was being too liberal with it, and when it came time for Communion, I just couldn’t put my doubts aside.

I think that is one of the greatest fears of mine. I won’t say “Oh, that’s not a valid sin” and go to Communion with confidence. I won’t do it. I just cannot face such a thing. And I don’t think it’s heretical what I have going on, thinking I will never be good enough to receive. It’s just recently that I’ve had a profound recognition of what Communion is.

Also in regards to prudence: yes it sounds like a good, holy thing for someone to develop. I am just very confused because there seems to be a very exact list made out and I don’t know if it will transfer well to everyday life.

And yes, I think I’m not too good at fraternal correction. Every time, I feel I come off awkward, or out-of-touch. Does it say anything about the necessity of fraternal correction if someone tries to discredit you?

Thank you for bearing with me in this valley. God bless.

I can’t help but notice how trapped you are in this “exactitude”. I don’t know much about OCD and Scrupulosity but it seems that much of the trouble stems from a very wrong-headed approach to our relationship with God.
The view of the “Judgmental” God is a “Master-Slave” relationship.
Yet this is not our relationship with God in the New Covenant.
We are not slaves or servants liable to judgement and punishments for infractions of some one sided “set of rules”.
We are children of God. God is our Father. Jesus tells the Apostles they are no longer servants but Friends.
Plus we are told that all rules and such are based on Love.

A loving parent and friend does not judge harshly but looks at the Love. When their Child struggles, as you do with Scrupulosity, they seek to help, not punish. The parent recognizes that the Child is doing the best that they can.
So don’t despair.

I wonder - as a sort of exercise, if one were to write down or record some struggle they are having then set it aside and meditate on how loving God is for a period of time. Then, placing themselves in the role of loving parent, listen to (or read) the what was previously written…Would a Loving Parent “pounce” on, “Judge and punish” the child over the specific offense and/or the struggles associated with it?
The answer should be no - the Parent would offer support, guidance, a big hug and forbearance as the Child worked to resolve the problems.

God is doing this for you. He has guided you here. The good people here are giving you other resources to help. A regular confessor and guide will be of tremendous help. All of this is pointed toward the single goal of gaining a proper understanding and outlook and preventing your falling into despair.
OH how Loving is our Heavenly Father.

Peace
James

 

[Bookcat]

There really isn’t a problem for me to obtain a regular confessor I suppose. I actually just moved to a new parish so I suppose it would be better than being around priests who knew me…perhaps the new priests can look at me more objectively? But then I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’m just not sure how I should bring this up in confession…

You just say "Father, I believe I am having difficulties with scruples (or scrupulosity) I know one needs a regular confessor for this…would you mind taking that responsitility or is there someone you would recommend?

Thank you for your concern. I tried following this advice for a long time… and it worked well for a while. But then I panicked, I guess. I suppose that is the OCD, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

If you have OCD in addition to scruples…please seek medical care…if you have not already…(there is a catholictherapists.com/ site to help one find such…I book marked it when I saw the advert…to pass to those who could benefit…they are to help find a good Catholic therapist). For scruples or scrupulosity per se does not = OCD though one could have both and there are similar aspects

Anyway, I felt like maybe I was being too liberal with it, and when it came time for Communion, I just couldn’t put my doubts aside.

You need a confessor to direct you…who will take the responsitility for his direction of you…then one follows. This is not a new practice…

I think that is one of the greatest fears of mine. I won’t say “Oh, that’s not a valid sin” and go to Communion with confidence. I won’t do it. I just cannot face such a thing. And I don’t think it’s heretical what I have going on, thinking I will never be good enough to receive. It’s just recently that I’ve had a profound recognition of what Communion is.

You need that confessor…and work to overcome your scruples with a firm foot. Look to the example of the Saints who scrupled about Holy Communion…one word from their confessor and they would overcome their fear and go…

Also in regards to prudence: yes it sounds like a good, holy thing for someone to develop. I am just very confused because there seems to be a very exact list made out and I don’t know if it will transfer well to everyday life.

You must “borrow” the prudence of your confessor for now. And then via repeated right actions yours will increase…be patient …but first step is to get that regular confessor…you could then even make some appointments and go confess outside of regular time to get more extensive direction…

And yes, I think I’m not too good at fraternal correction. Every time, I feel I come off awkward, or out-of-touch. Does it say anything about the necessity of fraternal correction if someone tries to discredit you?

(discuss with your confessor …)…but one has a right to defend oneself…but he can advise…

Thank you for bearing with me in this valley. God bless

feel free to pm if need be

 

[Bookcat]

**A regular confessor **(best if they have some background in this…but do not wait) whom one can trust (indeed entrust yourself to for the time being!). He can give not only direction in general etc but note certain principles or confirm them for you that you can follow. Obedience …is important here…it is the age old remedy.

(of course one seeks a confessor who is faithful to the Church… if something is clearly wrong…like he tells you to murder his secretary…or tells you to use contraception…well that will be clear …and one should change confessors (and perhaps tell the Bishop) …but one should change due to scruples…by taking this responsibility for you if he makes a mistake…it is on him)

Perhaps some studies in (orthodox) **Catholic Theology such as what is in the Catechism (I say perhaps cause some need to not read etc for a while…but simply follow their confessor…depends on the scruples etc)
**
Prayer **
**
Frequenting the Sacraments ** (within reason…confession every day…is prob. not a good idea unless one really falls into mortal sin…)
**
Contra scruplos agendum est, et fixo operis pede certandum

(Act contrary to scruples and with a firm foot overcome them)

Overcoming ones scruples…ones fears with a “firm foot”. Learning to act against them under the guidance of your confessor. Dismiss them. Not argue with them. (ie. ones confessor says…“unless you are* certain* you have committed a mortal sin…go to communion”…and you feel the fear and the doubts and the worries at the time of communion “but perhaps I committed one…?” you tell yourself “I am not certain of any mortal sins and my confessor told me to go” and you act against your fears and go to Communion!) etc

(in a way one needs be “scrupulous” about attending to ones scruples…)
**
Simplicity**

 

[Bookcat]

A regular confessor (best if they have some background in this…but do not wait) whom one can trust (indeed entrust yourself to for the time being!). He can give not only direction in general etc but note certain principles or confirm them for you that you can follow. Obedience …is important here…it is the age old remedy.

(of course one seeks a confessor who is faithful to the Church… if something is clearly wrong…like he tells you to murder his secretary…or tells you to use contraception…well that will be clear …and one should change confessors (and perhaps tell the Bishop) …but one should not change due to scruples…by taking this responsibility for you if he makes a mistake…it is on him)

Perhaps some studies in (orthodox) **Catholic Theology such as what is in the Catechism (I say perhaps cause some need to not read etc for a while…but simply follow their confessor…depends on the scruples etc)
**
Prayer **
**
Frequenting the Sacraments ** (within reason…confession every day…is prob. not a good idea unless one really falls into mortal sin…)
**
Contra scruplos agendum est, et fixo operis pede certandum

(Act contrary to scruples and with a firm foot overcome them)

Overcoming ones scruples…ones fears with a “firm foot”. Learning to act against them under the guidance of your confessor. Dismiss them. Not argue with them. (ie. ones confessor says…“unless you are* certain* you have committed a mortal sin…go to communion”…and you feel the fear and the doubts and the worries at the time of communion “but perhaps I committed one…?” you tell yourself “I am not certain of any mortal sins and my confessor told me to go” and you act against your fears and go to Communion!) etc

(in a way one needs be “scrupulous” about attending to ones scruples…)
**
Simplicity**

(opps forgot a word…it should read “one should not change due to scruples”…for some will keep changing their confessor due to their scrupulosity)

 

[Lucky10279]

I tend to lean on the scrupulous side of things, so naturally I have burning questions that need to be resolved. My question is this–well actually I better phrase it as a situation.

Sometimes I feel like something might be mortally sinful, but I don’t panic at that point. First, I try to look at the situation rationally, name the underlying problem this action might contain, and then logically try to go from there. However, sometimes, deep down inside, I think, “This can’t possibly warrant grave matter…it seems like such a common thing.” So if the action comes to pass I side with this feeling, because it seems more logical, even though I may have deduced otherwise beforehand.

That’s pretty abstract… maybe I can give an example. So say I have acne. It’s really annoying, so I want to pop the pimple. I start to think to myself, “Wait, this is harming my body. Self-mutilation, in fact! Since I am destroying the protective nature of the skin, which is an organ, I am destroying an organ enough to prevent it from carrying out it’s natural job. Therefore popping a pimple must be mortal sin, because it’s based on self-mutilation.”

And then the other (rational?) side of me comes in and thinks… “This is ridiculous… it’s such a small part of the skin, how could one little small part constitute mutilation?”

And say I go through with it… is it mortal sin because there exists a (somewhat) rational basis (self-mutilation) for the gravity?

I’m so sorry for asking this if it seems ridiculous, but something’s just not sitting well.
Thanks for your help.

I know what you are going through. Trust me on this. Popping a zit is NOT grave matter. It is not advisable because it can cause acne scrarring and can spread bacteria, so I if you do it I would suggest you wash your hands, but it is NOT grave matter.

 

[Lucky10279]

Thank you for helping me with this, epiphany, James, Pfaffenhoffen, Bookcat.

I would really like to get a regular confessor. I really would. It’s just I’m so embarrassed by my scruples because I don’t want to seem holier-than-thou. I just want to receive some logical feedback. I really think there might be some logical basis for some of my scruples.

Ah, but if it were so easy for my mind to see it this way. Continuing the analogy, I tend to try to take the warning of the hissing geese… is there a storm coming? Is that what they are trying to say?

I would like to share an example of how legalism has actually helped me out recently but my mind is telling me no… for fear of detraction. That’s another big subject which gives me problems. I can’t even read news stories on the internet anymore, because I am afraid of somehow opening up a doorway for this sin.

Another subject I would like to touch on is fraternal correction. I bring this up because it relates to the above paragraph. Things can get really twisted around when you combine these. For example, this is the line of thinking that you must go through to determine whether you should open your mouth or not when someone is detracting:

Do I have an obligation to offer fraternal correction? Is the act grave matter?

Does the detraction seriously damage the target?​

Is the name disclosed?​

Is the act disclosed grave matter?​

Will this cause others to laugh at the subject, causing more grave acts?​

Will they receive my fraternal correction positively?

Will my fraternal correction be received as ridicule, and hurt the person I’m trying to help?​

If I don’t say something, will I be full of regrets and doubts? Has God chosen me as the one most able to fulfill this possible obligation?There’s more, Audio Sancto had a good sermon on this subject, but I can’t remember what the rest is But you can see what I’m getting at. How am I supposed to judge this accurately every time, and quickly, because as you can see it’s quite a checklist to go through?

Thank you

I think you should get a confessor. I am scrupulos myself so I know what you are going through. Trust me, it will help if you get a confessor, but make sure you pick a good priest. Also I suggest that you join the OCD/Scrupulosity group. I joined it and it really helped me although I haven’t posted in it for a while. Feel free to pm me any time you need advice or support.
Mikayla