Questions-Help

[dandelionpuffs]

Let me say first that I feel so at home in a Catholic church & that I was raised RC. I did the whole nine yards! I feel so peaceful & it brings me to tears every time when I’m sitting in the pew worshiping my Lord. My questions are these: is there anyone else who must hide that they are still RC from their spouse who is a born again Christian? Do you go to his church for appearances but worship (RC) at home alone in private? How do you deal with the bashing of the RC religion? I am worn down by it all! My spouse’s conversion was years after we married. I admit I went briefly away from the RC church around that time. I tried other faiths & churches because I was curious to find something that fit me but deep down the other faiths never satisfied me like the Catholic faith. I always seemed to go back to the Catholic church! When my husband had his conversion I admit that I got caught up in his beliefs & such because he was/is the head of the home & I want to be submissive. He fell into the bashing of anyone who was not of his faith. Still does btw. It led/leads to many disagreements between him & I. To keep the peace I tried to partake in his beliefs by attending his church. I found it very rigid & not at all for me. To me it seems very cultish. I decided that I would worship the way I needed to but I must do it quietly. My spouse is very against the Catholic church. Very. He will not discuss it with me at all-only to bash the faith every chance he gets. It gets old real fast. I’m offended when he does this & he doesn’t care that my feelings are hurt. My spouse & his church do nothing but bash & spew hatred about the RC faith as well as others who don’t share their mindset. I don’t know how to shield myself from it anymore. My husband & his church make me feel guilty & instill such a deep fear in me going to hell because I believe what I believe or wish to attend my Catholic church. Sometimes I feel very scared that they are right & I am wrong. I never had this problem about the Catholic church until my husband became born again. I am at a crossroads. Thank you for your responses.

 

[horselvr]

No, your not wrong.

I have a close friend that is a BAC and so I know what you mean about the Catholic bashing. I would have a difficult time living with someone though that was anti Catholic. Your a much better woman than I am as someone would end up in a knock down drag out.

I would just do my thing and that would be Catholicism. Hiding my religion and being submissive isn’t me. However, I understand it is your reality.

This must be a difficult way for you to live. I’ll add you to my prayers.

 

[midori]

I’m currently married to a nonpracticing Methodist. I previously dated a practicing Baptist.

With the Baptist, I’d go to his church, but I’d always go to mine, too. He knew it was a package deal. Ultimately, that was one of the big rifts that broke us up.

With my husband, it’s generally just me and the kids going to church. Occasionally, he’ll come-- like for Easter and Christmas, or if our son asks him to. But he married a Catholic, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I’m still going to Mass every Sunday.

If your husband doesn’t care about your feelings, it means he’s self-absorbed. And if he actively bashes your religion, even if it’s not something he agrees with, there’s a word for that, too. But when a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, the non-Catholic generally has to agree to allow the Catholic to uphold and preserve their own faith, and raise any children Catholic as well. And it sounds like your husband isn’t doing that. And you’re bending over backwards and stressing trying to pretend that it doesn’t matter, but if you have to run around and be a closet Catholic… there’s no way that’s healthy, either for you spiritually, or for your marriage.

For what it’s worth, my husband was trying to sell a parcel of land to the Assembly of God church next door to it-- they own pretty much the entire block, except for our little piece. So while the pastor was scoping it out, he asked my husband, “So, where do you go to church?” And my husband hates those sorts of questions, but he answered, “My wife’s Catholic, so I usually go to church with her, but I was raised Methodist.” And the pastor said, “Too bad everyone from both those made-up religions is going to Hell.” And my husband was sooooo close to telling him exactly what he thought about that. (I went to a Baptist university in undergrad, so I’m more used to it, lol.)

But the point of the anecdote is-- you run into people everywhere who think their way is the only way, and everyone else in the world is going straight to Hell, no matter how nice they are, or what good things they do, or how charitable or loving or whatever. And thank goodness they’re not the gatekeepers of Heaven, no matter what they might think. But they’re all over the place, so don’t let them get to you.

 

[FCGeorge]

Dandelionpuffs,

Please, rest in the peace that you are in the One True Church that our Blessed Lord built nearly 2,000 years ago. Several years ago I began I sincere search for the Truth between Catholicism and Protestantism. I grew up Baptist and have relatives who consider the Catholic Church the “whore of Babylon” and the Pope the potential antichrist.

Anyway, a sincere daily prayer for the courage to follow the Truth led me to the Catholic Church. You can find how this Church has held up Truth since Christ built her. The new “man made” doctrines of the Protestants have been created over a thousand years after Christ built His Church.

Here is a link… philvaz.com/apologetics/audio.htm (go to the bottom of the web page) to some great stories of Protestants who have “come home.” Their stories may be encouraging to you. Also, the lives of the saints. For a reason God knows, you are in the position you are in. It will be very difficult but not too many Saints had an easy path. May God continue to bless you.

Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING

 

[JRKH]

Dear one,

I am going to give you the hardest and most difficult advice that anyone can give in this situation.

Your must do all that you can to Love your husband out of this evil place that he is in.

Love God above all. Cling to Christ in the Eucharist. Pray the Rosary and DMC if possible. I would even suggest sprinkling some holy water around the house.
Talk to your pastor/confessor about these matters. And do this regularly.

Be prepared to absorb the attacks, but do not return them in kind. Simply pray, and smile and keep Loving. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance in what to say - if anything.

Certain Bible verses might come in useful - verses about rejoicing when others revile you for Christ’s sake. Turning the other cheek. “Forgive them for they know not what they do” etc…
Gently point out to him that hostility will never draw one to the true faith and his hostility toward your faith is most certainly not helpful to his case or to your relationship.

If things get too bad, and too built up in you, I suggest that you sit down and write him a long heartfelt letter spelling out all of your hurt and frustrations. Appeal to the deepest and most core principals of Christianity - Love.

May God help you and be near you in this journey.

Peace
James