questions on annullments

[tracie001]

Hi, my name is Tracie. My husband and I are protestant but have finally made the decision the Catholic Church is were we belong!!
We are going to start our RCIA classes next week.

Now to the questions. I know that we will have to have our previous marriages annulled. We will be speaking to a priest around the first of July (the priest there now, is leaving and a new one is coming in) Does anyone know how long the process takes and will our ex’s need to be contacted? What all does the process actually consist of? Is there any reason that they wouldn’t grant us an annulment?

We are very excited about this and would appreciate any comments.
Thanks,
Tracie

 

[mercygate]

Hi, my name is Tracie. My husband and I are protestant but have finally made the decision the Catholic Church is were we belong!!
We are going to start our RCIA classes next week.

Now to the questions. I know that we will have to have our previous marriages annulled. We will be speaking to a priest around the first of July (the priest there now, is leaving and a new one is coming in) Does anyone know how long the process takes and will our ex’s need to be contacted? What all does the process actually consist of? Is there any reason that they wouldn’t grant us an annulment?

We are very excited about this and would appreciate any comments.
Thanks,
Tracie

I admire your clarity. I’ll bet if you go to the diocesan web site, there will be a link to the tribunal and maybe an FAQ on annulments that would start you off. But you will need to work this through your own parish priest.

Yes: there are reasons that annulment cannot be granted. An annulment is not “Catholic divorce.” It does not cancel a marriage. A nullity investigation simply determines whether there was ever a valid marriage in the first place.

Some people find this frightening or shocking but it is actually good news to know that this is a very serious undertaking.

In most cases the former spouses (and other witnesses as well) will be contacted. Case-by-case.

 

[tracie001]

Mercygate, thank you for such a quick response!

You said “and other witnesses as well” will be contacted. I’m assuming that means witnesses of our marriages? Is there a certain number that needs to be contacted? The reason I ask this is, I was 20 years old when I married the first time (i’m now 40) and he was in the marines so we moved alot!! I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from that time. And my parents will NOT be a witness for me to join the Catholic Church. Do you know if that would be a problem?

Thanks,
Tracie

 

[mercygate]

Mercygate, thank you for such a quick response!

You said “and other witnesses as well” will be contacted. I’m assuming that means witnesses of our marriages? Is there a certain number that needs to be contacted? The reason I ask this is, I was 20 years old when I married the first time (i’m now 40) and he was in the marines so we moved alot!! I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from that time. And my parents will NOT be a witness for me to join the Catholic Church. Do you know if that would be a problem?

Thanks,
Tracie

Case-by-case. You cannot do what you cannot do. Be at peace but be prepared that this might take a while and be prepared that it might not come out in your favor. Not trying to scare you here. But the marriage business is secondary to the real business of coming to Christ on His terms.

I KNOW how hard this can be. I never had to deal with a divorce, but my husband, who was Catholic, married me in the Episcopal Church without the necessary dispensation from form, and years later when we both wanted to be Catholic, our marriage was deemed to be invalid (I TOTALLY understood this). DH pitched a FIT and it took weeks for him to acquiesce and set up an appointment to “get married”. His exasperation was based on his notion that “there is no way on earth that anybody can tell me that this is not a marriage; I said what I meant and I meant what I said, and nobody can say I am not married to YOU!”

Men. Gotta love 'em. But he had me in tears for a month while he was refusing to pursue this.

 

[tracie001]

This is scary. I can’t imagine how I would feel if they said our previous marriages were valid and I couldn’t be a part of the catholic church. That would break my heart because I know the RCC is the true church!! (after several years of study).

You know at 20 years old and not being catholic, I didn’t really contemplate the seriousness of what I was doing. To me Catholics just seem to have a more serious teaching on marriage than what I had. But don’t get me wrong, I didn’t marry with the intention to ever get divorced, I was young and THOUGHT I was in love. But things happened that changed all of that!!! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that me and my husband now, both had biblical reasons for our divorces. I just hope the Church sees that as well. This just makes me so nervous!!

Thanks,
Tracie

 

[Prayer_Warrior]

As far as I know, the key to getting an annulment is showing that there was a condition at the time you entered the marriage that you were unaware of at the time that would have prevented you from entering the marriage with full knowledge and consent. For example, if your ex-husband had a history of abusing women prior to your marriage, but you did not know it, then you married him, then he abused you, then you would have a case to say you did not marry with full knowledge or consent. Conversely, if you married, then 5 years later he cheated on you, you could not necessarily say that the condition existed at the time you were married and you may not be granted an annulment (based on that claim).

I think you only need one or two witnesses and yes, typically the ex-spouse is at least contacted. Again, talk to your priest about that.

Also, I do not know what your baptismal status is but there are also processes called Pauline Privelege and Petrine Privelege. My marriage was dissolved under Pauline Privelege, because at the time my first husband and I were married we were both non-baptized non-believers. We had been divorced for a few years, and then I wanted to convert to the Catholic faith and have my second marriage to my Catholic husband convalidated. The paperwork was a drag, but the dissolution happened very fast. My ex husband did have to fill out paperwork and his sister provided a witness statement that he had never been baptized. But he was all too happy to cooperate, his second wife was also a Catholic and she made sure he did his part. Some years later, he also converted and I am sure their marriage was convalidated as well.

 

[1ke]

You are simply going to have to take things one step at a time, starting with a detailed conversation with your priest.

Tracy, I **highly **recommend you get a copy of the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster. It will be an excellent resource for you. It is well worth it for you and your husband to read this book together.

 

[JRKH]

Hi, my name is Tracie. My husband and I are protestant but have finally made the decision the Catholic Church is were we belong!!
We are going to start our RCIA classes next week.

Now to the questions. I know that we will have to have our previous marriages annulled. We will be speaking to a priest around the first of July (the priest there now, is leaving and a new one is coming in) Does anyone know how long the process takes and will our ex’s need to be contacted? What all does the process actually consist of? Is there any reason that they wouldn’t grant us an annulment?

We are very excited about this and would appreciate any comments.
Thanks,
Tracie

I will share a bit of my own experience and hopefully it will answer some of your questions. Bear in mind that the process may vary from diocese to diocese.
The process involved filling out a questionaire of around 45 questions. These deal with the marriage from meeting until break-up.
The questions are not difficult, but they require a lot of reflection in order to answer them fully and honestly. I copied them into my computer so I could answer and reflect and change and “fix” until I felt I had been as honest as possible. Also the deacon who assisted me looked it over and offered some suggestions on phrasing and terminology. It helps prevent questions later on.
They will attempt to contact the ex-spouses to permit them to comment if they so Choose. The Deacon who handled mine said that only about 4% of the spouses contacted ever bother to respond. In any event, the ex’s cannot really prevent an annulment from being granted.
They also wanted statements from at least three other people who knew you before and during your marriage. For me that was tricky since the wedding was nearly 30 years ago. I wound up using family members.
Once the information is recieved it is given to the Local Tribunal. They review it and, if necessary will ask for clarification. Once they are satisfied they will issue their decision. If the decision is Yes, the petition is then forwarded to a second diocese for review. My understanding is that this is usually more of a technical review rather than a “Judgement” one. This second tribunal then will render a decision.
If, at either decision, the answer is no, you have the right to appeal. I’m not sure about that procedure since I had no need of it.

In my case the process took about 6 months, but this is certainly no benchmark. I knew someone else who’s application took a year. I believe they expedited the case because of my wife’s illness (Alzheimers).

Actually the best advise I can give is to be honest and up-front with the process. Answer the Questions honestly and trust in the Lord.

If you wish you may PM me.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

This is scary. I can’t imagine how I would feel if they said our previous marriages were valid and I couldn’t be a part of the catholic church. That would break my heart because I know the RCC is the true church!! (after several years of study).

You know at 20 years old and not being catholic, I didn’t really contemplate the seriousness of what I was doing. To me Catholics just seem to have a more serious teaching on marriage than what I had. But don’t get me wrong, I didn’t marry with the intention to ever get divorced, I was young and THOUGHT I was in love. But things happened that changed all of that!!! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that me and my husband now, both had biblical reasons for our divorces. I just hope the Church sees that as well. This just makes me so nervous!!

Thanks,
Tracie

Here are a couple of sites with some info on Annulments:
This one is more technical
This one is more General but has some other info

While I can’t say for sure since the Tribunal doesn’t render a detailed explanation, I believe mine was issued due to our being too young.
My Wife was issued hers based on her ex husband being insufficiently mature to enter into a marriage. (He proved that by multiple affairs and poor (greedy) money handling)

As I said earlier, just be Honest with the Process and Trust that the Process will be Honest with you.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

(Snip)
My marriage was dissolved under Pauline Privelege, because at the time my first husband and I were married we were both non-baptized non-believers. We had been divorced for a few years, and then I wanted to convert to the Catholic faith and have my second marriage to my Catholic husband convalidated. The paperwork was a drag, but the dissolution happened very fast. My ex husband did have to fill out paperwork and his sister provided a witness statement that he had never been baptized. But he was all too happy to cooperate, his second wife was also a Catholic and she made sure he did his part. Some years later, he also converted and I am sure their marriage was convalidated as well.

I love this. Great Story. Praise God.

Peace
James