Questions on annullments

[keepingfaith4]

after 36 years of marriage i was forced to get a divorce due to issues of increasing threats to my personal safety,among many other things

i am hearing it is expensive to get an annullment,and it affects the church’s attitude towards children born of the marriage------are any of these things true???

 

[styrgwillidar]

First it has no bearing on the status of the children relative to the Church. Period. End of sentence, end of statement. Full stop.

Next, for my diocese in terms of expense the following applies, just to give you an idea. You should contact your diocese directly to find out their policy (may even be on their website):

CONCERNING EXPENSES AND FEES
The ordinary fee requested in processing a marriage nullity case is $300, which represents approximately 30% of the total Tribunal costs. The Diocese subsidizes the other 70% of Tribunal expenses for a marriage nullity case.
A filing fee of $50.00 is requested with the petition. The remaining $250.00 is due and payable upon completion of the case. This obligation may be met on an installment basis, in amounts suitable to the Petitioner. Inability to meet these expenses is never a cause for refusing to accept and process a petition. Should you anticipate difficulties in this regard, please have your parish priest contact this office.
Additionally, in certain cases the judge may deem it necessary to require the services of a professional in the behavioral sciences to assist in clarifying issues that may arise. Such experts are paid at the rate of $150 to $250, depending on the extent of their services provided for the case. It is the responsibility of the Petitioner to reimburse the Tribunal for these expenses.

There is a divorce and annulment support group in the Groups section of the forums. You can also search the forums for the numerous divorce and annulment threads.

Best of luck, you and your family will be in my prayers.

 

[Castello]

Prayers for you.

Meet with your Pastor. He will help you begin the process.

The Diocese will work with you on covering the nominal costs.

Whomever told you this would impact your children’s status was greatly mistaken.

 

[puzzleannie]

i am hearing it is expensive to get an annullment,and it affects the church’s attitude towards children born of the marriage------are any of these things true???

no they are not true
and no unless you are planning to remarry you don’t need an annulment
if you want an answer that applies to your specific situation ask your own priest who can answer from experience and about the rules in your diocese. In any case you will want to see him for pastoral care as you go through this trauma.

 

[Splagchnizomai]

I think the fees depend on various factors, such as your case, your parish, etc. I didn’t pay anything for mine, but it was a very simple one (ligamen).

 

[Leegal]

after 36 years of marriage i was forced to get a divorce due to issues of increasing threats to my personal safety,among many other things

i am hearing it is expensive to get an annullment,and it affects the church’s attitude towards children born of the marriage------are any of these things true???

No and no.

The cost is about $800 to $2,000 depending on the diocese as I’ve seen reported on other threads. However, inability to pay is not an impediment to applying for an annulment and there are funds available to assist those who cannot pay. The amount can be reduced or waived depending upon circumstances and ability to pay. You have to speak with your parish priest.

The annulment does not affect of status of the children born of a marriage that has been later annulled.

 

[tominrichmond]

Ummm, you should not even remotely consider an annulment unless you have some actual grounds for believing, before God, that your marriage was not validly contracted. After 36 years and multiple children, it’s hard to imagine what grounds you could have for concluding that you were never married in the sight of God.

Far too many annulments are handed out, for far too many flimsy reasons.

Remember, if you obtain an annulment, that is not an infallible judgment of the Church, and if you obtain one only for the purposes of being “free” while knowing in your heart you were really married, you would be committing a grave sin.

As to children, no, it is true no judgment of the Church is made about them, but if a decree of nullity issues, the Church is legally proclaiming its judgment that you were not married. Draw your own conclusions about what that means with respect to the status of your children.

 

[joanofarc2008]

The cost of an annulment is nowhere near $800-$2000 - I have been through 3 dioceses and I have yet to hear of one that asked for more than $500 from the petitioner. Now the figure you quoted may be before diocesan subsidies. You should speak to your priest - he will help you. If you legitimately cannot afford it a payment plan can be set up or the diocese can waive the cost. I have one friend who had this done for her who is the single mom of two children. Originally she thought that she could not afford one and was not going to go through the process - now she has received her first decision in the affirmative. We do have a particularly large group under “Annulment and Divorce.” God bless.

 

[Joe_5859]

No, those things are not true.

No one is ever turned away for inability to pay. There are fees associated with the annulment (and it varies greatly from diocese to diocese). But, as styrgwillidar’s post illustrates, these fees are often only a fraction of the actual cost to the diocese. And even those fees can be reduced or waived if there is a need. I have never heard of anyone who was denied even starting the process because of lack of money.

There is no change in the status of your children, and anyone who would look at them or treat them differently is in the wrong.

 

[JRKH]

after 36 years of marriage i was forced to get a divorce due to issues of increasing threats to my personal safety,among many other things

i am hearing it is expensive to get an annullment,and it affects the church’s attitude towards children born of the marriage------are any of these things true???

NO!!! on both counts. I don’t know where people get these ideas from…

Annulments to do not effect the Children.

As for costs, “expensive” is rather subjective. I’m sure it varies from place to place but it is NOT expensive and provision is made for those who cannot pay.

Contact you Pastor as soon as you can to get things rolling.

Peace
James

 

[Joe_5859]

Ummm, you should not even remotely consider an annulment unless you have some actual grounds for believing, before God, that your marriage was not validly contracted. After 36 years and multiple children, it’s hard to imagine what grounds you could have for concluding that you were never married in the sight of God.

Far too many annulments are handed out, for far too many flimsy reasons.

Remember, if you obtain an annulment, that is not an infallible judgment of the Church, and if you obtain one only for the purposes of being “free” while knowing in your heart you were really married, you would be committing a grave sin.

As to children, no, it is true no judgment of the Church is made about them, but if a decree of nullity issues, the Church is legally proclaiming its judgment that you were not married. Draw your own conclusions about what that means with respect to the status of your children.

I would encourage the OP to completely ignore this post. Don’t let the fact that some people have a beef with the number of annulments granted nowadays dissuade you from seeking one.

The Tribunal is in a much better position to evaluate your situation objectively rather than relying on what you “know in your heart.” The only reason not to trust the judgment of the Tribunal would be if you intentionally misled them and/or deliberately lied about specifics in order to increase the chances of a decision in your favor. And even then, the process has a way of weeding out the falsehoods.

Talk to your priest about it. He has responded to the vocation and been trained to be a pastor of souls. Us random CAF posters have not.

And an annulment is not the Church saying that you were “legally never married.” You were legally married and you acted in good faith at the time. An annulment is an acknowledgement of the Church that, at the time the vows were exchanged, some impediment existed which prevented a valid marriage from taking place. Your children are not “illegitimate.”

Again, talk to your priest about these things.

 

[Leegal]

The cost of an annulment is nowhere near $800-$2000 - I have been through 3 dioceses and I have yet to hear of one that asked for more than $500 from the petitioner. Now the figure you quoted may be before diocesan subsidies. You should speak to your priest - he will help you. If you legitimately cannot afford it a payment plan can be set up or the diocese can waive the cost. I have one friend who had this done for her who is the single mom of two children. Originally she thought that she could not afford one and was not going to go through the process - now she has received her first decision in the affirmative. We do have a particularly large group under “Annulment and Divorce.” God bless.

It’s about 1500 where I am – at least it was some years ago. Some here reported as low as $800. One here reported as much as $2,000 in another diocese far from where I am. So, she did not pursue it because of the cost. In that thread, many chimed in with their diocese and what the cost was.

However, I did say that if there are different circumstances and if one cannot pay, fees can be waived and/or reduced. Everyone’s circumstances are different. She may pay nothing, but thought it best to give examples from an earlier thread where the woman was put off by the amount she had to pay. Of course, that other case may be complex. As one reported here, she paid nothing. Unless she sees a priest she won’t know what the costs are, if any.

 

[1ke]

after 36 years of marriage i was forced to get a divorce due to issues of increasing threats to my personal safety,among many other things

I am very sorry that this is happening to you.

i am hearing it is expensive to get an annullment,

Costs vary by diocese. Most dioceses have plans in place for those who need financial assistance-- sliding scale, free, etc.

and it affects the church’s attitude towards children born of the marriage------

No, this is not true.

are any of these things true???

I suggest the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster

 

[JRKH]

Ummm, you should not even remotely consider an annulment unless you have some actual grounds for believing, before God, that your marriage was not validly contracted. After 36 years and multiple children, it’s hard to imagine what grounds you could have for concluding that you were never married in the sight of God.

Far too many annulments are handed out, for far too many flimsy reasons.

you might be surprised at the things someone will put up with for so many years that, in fact, invalidated the marriage. This can only be determined by talking to someone familiar with the process.

Remember, if you obtain an annulment, that is not an infallible judgment of the Church, and if you obtain one only for the purposes of being “free” while knowing in your heart you were really married, you would be committing a grave sin.

The judgement is infallible in any practical sense. By that I mean that so long as the person applying for the annulment is honest, and willing to accept the judgement of the Church, and the Church grants the annulment they cannot sin by entering into another marriage even if there was some flaw in the process.
So - To the OP…Ignore this attempt to prevent you from seeking closure from the Church.

As to children, no, it is true no judgment of the Church is made about them, but if a decree of nullity issues, the Church is legally proclaiming its judgment that you were not married. Draw your own conclusions about what that means with respect to the status of your children.

Do NOT draw your own conclusion from this. Talk to your priest…

Peace
Janes

 

[joanofarc2008]

Ummm, you should not even remotely consider an annulment unless you have some actual grounds for believing, before God, that your marriage was not validly contracted. After 36 years and multiple children, it’s hard to imagine what grounds you could have for concluding that you were never married in the sight of God.

Far too many annulments are handed out, for far too many flimsy reasons.

Remember, if you obtain an annulment, that is not an infallible judgment of the Church, and if you obtain one only for the purposes of being “free” while knowing in your heart you were really married, you would be committing a grave sin.

As to children, no, it is true no judgment of the Church is made about them, but if a decree of nullity issues, the Church is legally proclaiming its judgment that you were not married. Draw your own conclusions about what that means with respect to the status of your children.

Obviously you have never read the statement on domestic violence - I suggest you read Church teaching and then get back to us.

 

[Joe_5859]

Just a comment here, I don’t want to derail the thread but this line stood out for me. At one time I beleived as you beleived, until actually speaking with people heavily involved with the annullment process to discover it is a painstaking process carried out with the utmost of care. At least where I live there are not “too many annulments handed out for flimsy reasons” I sometimes think this kind of thinking is a bit of an “urban myth” perpetuated to make our church look bad. Just my two cents.

Exactly. Every annulment case is required per Canon Law to include the involvement of a “Defender of the Bond” whose purpose is to play “devil’s advocate” and argue in favor of the existence of the marriage bond in each case. The Church takes these cases very seriously and they do not hand them out for “flimsy” reasons.

I think some people just add the annulment statistics to their pile of “evidence” that the Church is on some downward descent into the muck after Vatican II without any actual knowledge of the process.

 

[Splagchnizomai]

Far too many annulments are handed out, for far too many flimsy reasons.

In your study of the cases granted a decree of nullity, how many were done so for flimsy reasons? What were the flimsy reasons?

Since far too many are handed out, how many are acceptable in your estimation?

 

[styrgwillidar]

Just a comment here, I don’t want to derail the thread but this line stood out for me. At one time I beleived as you beleived, until actually speaking with people heavily involved with the annullment process to discover it is a painstaking process carried out with the utmost of care. At least where I live there are not “too many annulments handed out for flimsy reasons” I sometimes think this kind of thinking is a bit of an “urban myth” perpetuated to make our church look bad. Just my two cents.

FWIW, my priest indicated that the appearance of a large percentage of annulments is being granted stems from the fact that most potential petitioners who do not have a case are stopped at the parish priest’s level. Prior to submitting to the diocese. His contention was that was the biggest filter, he personally counsels ‘far more’ who elect not to file a petition than he forwards to the tribunal.

 

[tominrichmond]

I realize this is a sensitive issue, but one where a person’s self-interest (or desire to believe that a loved one’s situation has to solved by annulment) can often cloud objectivity.

A modest suggestion: some 300 of these were granted per year before the Council.

Now in America 60,000 per year is not unusual. There are two possibilities: an explosion of suddenly null marriages in a few short years; or lots of declarations being handed down for less than honest reasons, in a desire to be “kind” to people whose marriages failed in worldly terms.

And 60% of annulments world-wide occur in the US, a highly disproportionate number.

The problem stems not from a sudden surge in people contracting invalid marriages,but in a re-definition of grounds for nullity. Where the old Code of Canon law recognized that it is very easy and natural to contract a binding marriage, the new Code gave all kinds of new-found obstacles to being able to contract a binding marriage:

Lacks sufficient use of reason;
Lack of discretion regarding the rights and duties of marriage and the way to hand them over;
Lack of psychological stability to assume the obligations of marriage (see Canon 1095, §§ 1,2,3).
These changes were recognized by the CLSA which acknowledged that

Although the 1917 Code had required only that parties know that marriage is a societas, a term that was often used for a business partnership, the revised code requires knowledge that it is a consortium, a partnership that involves mutual cooperation, support, and companionship” .

So, if a spouse marries, but later becomes abusive, unloving, or neglectful, viola!
Or a tribunal, using its discretion, invokes the extremely vague rubric of “sufficient” reason or “lack of discretion” to annul a marriage.

Only the wilfully blind would not concede that there is too much ambiguity built into the new Code, too much discretion given to the tribunals, who naturally are moved by “pastoral circumstances” (i.e., a party’s desire to re-marry) to find nullity where none exists.

No wonder our Protestant friends chuckle when we talk about our opposition to divorce, when they see such liberties taken with our Catholic marriages.

My point is simple: given these facts, and a person’s infinite capacity for self-delusion and justification, one should approach a tribunal for a declaration of nullity with a great deal of humility and considering that God knows the truth of the matter, no matter what a tribunal might be convinced to do.

 

[JRKH]

I realize this is a sensitive issue, but one where a person’s self-interest (or desire to believe that a loved one’s situation has to solved by annulment) can often cloud objectivity.

A modest suggestion: some 300 of these were granted per year before the Council.

Now in America 60,000 per year is not unusual. There are two possibilities: an explosion of suddenly null marriages in a few short years; or lots of declarations being handed down for less than honest reasons, in a desire to be “kind” to people whose marriages failed in worldly terms.

As a bit of a “rhetorical question”…how do you know that the “old” figures are correct and the new ones are not???
One can bemoan that under the new rules annulments are too easily granted, but one can just as easily say that under the old rules too many were forced to remain in invalid marriages.

And 60% of annulments world-wide occur in the US, a highly disproportionate number.

The problem stems not from a sudden surge in people contracting invalid marriages,but in a re-definition of grounds for nullity. Where the old Code of Canon law recognized that it is very easy and natural to contract a binding marriage, the new Code gave all kinds of new-found obstacles to being able to contract a binding marriage:

Lacks sufficient use of reason;
Lack of discretion regarding the rights and duties of marriage and the way to hand them over;
Lack of psychological stability to assume the obligations of marriage (see Canon 1095, §§ 1,2,3).
These changes were recognized by the CLSA which acknowledged that
So, if a spouse marries, but later becomes abusive, unloving, or neglectful, viola!
Or a tribunal, using its discretion, invokes the extremely vague rubric of “sufficient” reason or “lack of discretion” to annul a marriage.

Only the wilfully blind would not concede that there is too much ambiguity built into the new Code, too much discretion given to the tribunals, who naturally are moved by “pastoral circumstances” (i.e., a party’s desire to re-marry) to find nullity where none exists.

No wonder our Protestant friends chuckle when we talk about our opposition to divorce, when they see such liberties taken with our Catholic marriages.

These are general comments that really don’t help the OP with getting an answer to her specific case. Only by talking with her pastor can she get those answers.

My point is simple: given these facts, and a person’s infinite capacity for self-delusion and justification, one should approach a tribunal for a declaration of nullity with a great deal of humility and considering that God knows the truth of the matter, no matter what a tribunal might be convinced to do.

I agree fully with your last statement that we should always approach these things with great humility.

But -

While your post does suggest some possible problems within the system, it is basically useless when trying to address any given specific case, which is usually what we are trying to do here.

The OP has a specific problem and is seeking advise on how to proceed, on what the steps should be to address her specific case.
Since we cannot know the particulars of any given situation (specific case) our advise must necessarily always be the same…Speak to your priest…get in touch with someone knowledgeable on these matters and then be guided by that person’s (name removed by moderator)ut.
In Short…“Tell it to The Church” and then “Listen to the Church”.

If, as you say above in general terms, some tribunals are moved by “pastoral circumstances” or trying to be loving to everyone and as a result they are too lax in their decisions - does that mean I should doubt or question the validity of the decision they made in my particular and specific case???
Certainly not…And neither should anyone else who approaches the process with honesty and humility.
We have done our part - The Church, through the properly approved tribunal process, has given her answer. That is the end of it for me. There is no reason for any particular individual to assume, or to worry, that theirs annulment might be one of those granted for (what you consider to be) insufficient reason.

This is why I object to these types of posts in this type of thread. You are offering general observations on the system rather than specific advice to the OP’s needs. Such general advice is off topic to what the OP is asking for. This type of post is perfectly legitimate in a thread discussing the more general issues of the annulment process etc…

Peace
James