Questions on Prayer

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PJD1987

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Dear CAF,

I have been thinking a lot lately about my prayer life and how to improve it. I have two basic things that I struggle with as far as prayer goes, 1. I do not feel as close to the BVM as I think I should and 2. I can never discern if my motivation behind prayer is pure or not, meaning, for instance, most times in the middle of praying I will be thinking of other things and just ‘babbling vain repetitions’ so to speak.

I understand that the faith and our prayer life isn’t dependent on “feelings”, but should it be totally detatched? Someone once told me that St. Francis of Assisi used to pace around his room before Mass everyday and make himself cry so as to be in the right state of mind to receive the Eucharist. I see and read on here all the time of people who are brought to tears at the thought of receiving Our Lord and contemplating His Passion.

I have been praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, trying to focus on the Wounds and Passion of Our Lord, yet I don’t have any physical response. Intellectually I know all the right things, but there is nothing there emotionally. Then my mind will wander off to daily tasks and whatnot and I have to call myself back to focus.

As far as Our Blessed Mother goes, I just have a hard time feeling (again that word), close to her. I pray at least one decade (sometimes more) of the Rosary every night, yet feel no closer to her now than before my conversion. Again, intellectually I know all the right things about Her and how much I “should” love her as my own mother, but…I don’t know. I was told by my Spiritual Director that the best way to grow in a relationship with Her is to continue to pray for Her intercession and don’t give up. But I feel disingenuous if I continue to pray and cannot seem to embrace Her the way I should.

Lastly, I just want to reiterate that I know the faith is not about warm and fuzzy feelings, but I don’t know if it should be completely devoid of them either, and that is what is frustrating me because I want to feel closer to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother, not for my own sake, but for the fact that they deserve my true and unimpeded love.

Any thoughts or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

God bless,
Paul
 
PJD1987 said:
Dear CAF,

I have been thinking a lot lately about my prayer life and how to improve it. I have two basic things that I struggle with as far as prayer goes, 1. I do not feel as close to the BVM as I think I should and 2. I can never discern if my motivation behind prayer is pure or not, meaning, for instance, most times in the middle of praying I will be thinking of other things and just ‘babbling vain repetitions’ so to speak.

I understand that the faith and our prayer life isn’t dependent on “feelings”, but should it be totally detatched? Someone once told me that St. Francis of Assisi used to pace around his room before Mass everyday and make himself cry so as to be in the right state of mind to receive the Eucharist. I see and read on here all the time of people who are brought to tears at the thought of receiving Our Lord and contemplating His Passion.

I have been praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, trying to focus on the Wounds and Passion of Our Lord, yet I don’t have any physical response. Intellectually I know all the right things, but there is nothing there emotionally. Then my mind will wander off to daily tasks and whatnot and I have to call myself back to focus.

As far as Our Blessed Mother goes, I just have a hard time feeling (again that word), close to her. I pray at least one decade (sometimes more) of the Rosary every night, yet feel no closer to her now than before my conversion. Again, intellectually I know all the right things about Her and how much I “should” love her as my own mother, but…I don’t know. I was told by my Spiritual Director that the best way to grow in a relationship with Her is to continue to pray for Her intercession and don’t give up. But I feel disingenuous if I continue to pray and cannot seem to embrace Her the way I should.

Lastly, I just want to reiterate that I know the faith is not about warm and fuzzy feelings, but I don’t know if it should be completely devoid of them either, and that is what is frustrating me because I want to feel closer to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother, not for my own sake, but for the fact that they deserve my true and unimpeded love.

Any thoughts or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

God bless,
Paul
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Hi Paul,

I understand what you’re going through. When you get distracted during prayer don’t get discouraged, just keep on trying to focus. Its just human nature. St Francis De Sales says in his book “Introduction to the devout life” that when we don’t really focus on spontaneous prayer, we should focus more on reading spiritual books, and sacred scripture. This could be spiritual desolation that you’re going through. I would suggest that you read St. Ignatius of Loyola 's advice. when dealing with spiritual desolation.

So, I would focus on some spiritual reading if I were you.

“Introduction to the devout life”
Maybe you should try St. Louis Marie de montfort when dealing with the BVM
And this is a link to help with spiritual desolation:
ministryhealth.net/mh_articles/314_ignatius_survive_desolation.html

Your desire to get closer to our Lord is very pleasing to Him. The devil may try to discourage you, but don’t let that stop you!

Always remember, “Pray hardest, when its hardest to pray.”

God Bless!👍
 
vincent10395 said:
God Bless!👍
Click to expand...
Thank you for your thoughts. I actually did read St. Louis de Monfort’s book True Devotion, but I was uncomfortable with the ‘blue language’ so to speak that he used. I did come to appreciate better, though, why we should honor the BVM, so it wasn’t a total loss. I just found his particular devotion a bit much, personally, though I do not begrudge anyone who finds that spiritually fruitful.

Thank you again for your thoughts, I have been meaning to read Intro to the Devout Life for quite some time. I should pick it up 🙂

God bless,
Paul
 
hi, take what you can and disregard the rest; seems Monfort might be bit ‘antiquated.’
Distractions are a bother; seems to my mind that original sin is a wound/then that rebellion kicks in; the road to holiness, as any one reasons, could not be chosen by one singular soul-what path would that be/perhaps it is more of a process; if that is the logical case-then God would chose the path-(i would pick a certain path to find holiness at the end/but my errors ar typical) ;rather God would choose the path to holiness/prayer must involve the soul in the process
that being said-go to the Lord/that powerful presence near the alter when the ‘red’ candle is burning-a host is hidden there-where-the occasion takes a course to ask, with God: what am i feeling , Oh Lord?" in summary, perhaps a hidden emotion is quickly articulated, pronounced-perhaps it is the distraction…or what might happen is peace; yes, peace to end prayer-as to that end-this might be verified by asking a priest-hey, prayers can end in peace right Father? a warm-fuzzy feeling might suggests that a certain prayer needs to have the expected results as pure experience; well yes and no-for instance, if i pray often: “Lord Jesus Christ-have mercy on me, a sinner” this proves -i know His name…a begging occurs, the results might be measured a week later/hope that helps, patrick
 
I highly recommend that you read the life story of the Blessed Virgin Mary, *The Mystical City of God *by Ven. Mary of Agreda. The more you know/read about the Blessed Virgin Mary, the more you will be able to love her. It is easy for us to love whom and what we know and more difficult for us to love whom and what we do not know. This 4 volume work of Ven. Mary of Agreda is perhaps the very best work I have ever read in my lifetime! You can buy the abridged version if you’d like, but I’d try to borrow or buy the 4 volumes if I were you … the work is that excellent! Also, pray to the Blessed Virgin Mary to bring you closer to her Immaculate Heart and to give you a strong affection for her. She’ll hear and answer your prayer. Keep doing your devotions to her faithfully, even when you feel you are getting nowhere. What is important is that you focus on loving God and Mary with an undivided heart, don’t focus on getting your prayers over and done with. Just being still and loving Jesus and Mary in your heart without the use words is a most excellent prayer. Buy a beautiful picture of Mary, which could help your prayer and devotion to her. Best wishes!
 
PJD1987 said:
Dear CAF,

I have been thinking a lot lately about my prayer life and how to improve it. I have two basic things that I struggle with as far as prayer goes, 1. I do not feel as close to the BVM as I think I should and 2. I can never discern if my motivation behind prayer is pure or not, meaning, for instance, most times in the middle of praying I will be thinking of other things and just ‘babbling vain repetitions’ so to speak.

I understand that the faith and our prayer life isn’t dependent on “feelings”, but should it be totally detatched? Someone once told me that St. Francis of Assisi used to pace around his room before Mass everyday and make himself cry so as to be in the right state of mind to receive the Eucharist. I see and read on here all the time of people who are brought to tears at the thought of receiving Our Lord and contemplating His Passion.

I have been praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, trying to focus on the Wounds and Passion of Our Lord, yet I don’t have any physical response. Intellectually I know all the right things, but there is nothing there emotionally. Then my mind will wander off to daily tasks and whatnot and I have to call myself back to focus.

As far as Our Blessed Mother goes, I just have a hard time feeling (again that word), close to her. I pray at least one decade (sometimes more) of the Rosary every night, yet feel no closer to her now than before my conversion. Again, intellectually I know all the right things about Her and how much I “should” love her as my own mother, but…I don’t know. I was told by my Spiritual Director that the best way to grow in a relationship with Her is to continue to pray for Her intercession and don’t give up. But I feel disingenuous if I continue to pray and cannot seem to embrace Her the way I should.

Lastly, I just want to reiterate that I know the faith is not about warm and fuzzy feelings, but I don’t know if it should be completely devoid of them either, and that is what is frustrating me because I want to feel closer to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother, not for my own sake, but for the fact that they deserve my true and unimpeded love.

Any thoughts or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

God bless,
Paul
Click to expand...
St. Teresa of Avila advocated keeping an image of Jesus in your memory when praying and using the prayer of Quiet. She in her early life was given a revelation of a what Jesus looked like. And so she always said to use the humanity of Jesus in your simple prayer life. So if you follow her advice, then that is what Ready said, to get a picture of Jesus and/or Mary that you think would help you and then use it when you pray. Even if you just stare at it, it seems that Jesus communicates a moment of his love for us. And it is the same with a picture of Mary.

I also think you might well benefit from reading the Autobiography of Teresa of Avila as well because she gives the steps and progression of prayer and what to expect. She also has a good section on aridity. God may be preparing you for something more in your prayer life.

With regard to your distractions in prayer, especially the rosary, for a while, give more attention to each word and phrase as you pray the rosary. Sometimes there can be periods when the attention on the mystery of the rosary will cause a great deal of wondering of the mind because the mysteries are now becoming monotenous. With great resolve to pay attention to the word/phrase of the prayer, this monoteny can be overcome. Then after a bit the concentration on the mysteries can resume. Think of the words of what you are saying.

And the discouragement you feel is coming straight from hell.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
 
PJD1987 said:
Dear CAF,

I have been thinking a lot lately about my prayer life and how to improve it. I have two basic things that I struggle with as far as prayer goes, 1. I do not feel as close to the BVM as I think I should and 2. I can never discern if my motivation behind prayer is pure or not, meaning, for instance, most times in the middle of praying I will be thinking of other things and just ‘babbling vain repetitions’ so to speak.

I understand that the faith and our prayer life isn’t dependent on “feelings”, but should it be totally detatched? Someone once told me that St. Francis of Assisi used to pace around his room before Mass everyday and make himself cry so as to be in the right state of mind to receive the Eucharist. I see and read on here all the time of people who are brought to tears at the thought of receiving Our Lord and contemplating His Passion.

I have been praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, trying to focus on the Wounds and Passion of Our Lord, yet I don’t have any physical response. Intellectually I know all the right things, but there is nothing there emotionally. Then my mind will wander off to daily tasks and whatnot and I have to call myself back to focus.

As far as Our Blessed Mother goes, I just have a hard time feeling (again that word), close to her. I pray at least one decade (sometimes more) of the Rosary every night, yet feel no closer to her now than before my conversion. Again, intellectually I know all the right things about Her and how much I “should” love her as my own mother, but…I don’t know. I was told by my Spiritual Director that the best way to grow in a relationship with Her is to continue to pray for Her intercession and don’t give up. But I feel disingenuous if I continue to pray and cannot seem to embrace Her the way I should.

Lastly, I just want to reiterate that I know the faith is not about warm and fuzzy feelings, but I don’t know if it should be completely devoid of them either, and that is what is frustrating me because I want to feel closer to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother, not for my own sake, but for the fact that they deserve my true and unimpeded love.

Any thoughts or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

God bless,
Paul
Click to expand...
God bless you in your quest to become closer to Him!

I want to have it all, right now! I want to be as close to Him as possible, and I want it now! However, that isn’t how it works. It’s a journey, and one we have to take. Oh, how much there is to learn on that journey that we wouldn’t learn if we woke up one day and were as close to God as we dreamed!

Keep going; keep praying. Keep searching. But, this is important: **Do not judge your own path, your own journey, by where others are on theirs. ** I want to feel close to Mary, and God, but I shouldn’t compare where I am with where my husband or friend or priest is. Spiritual envy is easy to fall into, and can also cause us these feelings of being behind the curve, which may cause us to give up. I’ve had the ‘gift of tears’ at times when receiving the Eucharist, or praying the Divine Mercy. I’ve had various gifts at times in my journey, but I don’t receive them every time…sometimes never again (so far).

Accept where you are, and move forward. Keep your heart and mind on the goal, but take the path one step at a time.

For me, getting to know Mary, started with the Rosary. I didn’t start out with that goal in mind, but it was a year ago, when at my first confession in 15+ years, in my return to God, the Church and the Faith, when the priest gave me a penance of a Rosary. I didn’t ‘feel’ closer to Mary, even as I prayed it nearly every day, but I could ‘see’ her working in my life, and at times, I could feel the change she helped me make.

Father, I ask You to open our hearts to Your Love and the Blessings You have given us. Help us to see Your Work all around us. I pray that we each may see and feel Your Love and feel closer to you, especially those that have not yet been able to ascertain Your Presence in a manner that they can ‘see’.
In Jesus name, Amen.
 
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