P
PJD1987
Guest
Dear CAF,
I have been thinking a lot lately about my prayer life and how to improve it. I have two basic things that I struggle with as far as prayer goes, 1. I do not feel as close to the BVM as I think I should and 2. I can never discern if my motivation behind prayer is pure or not, meaning, for instance, most times in the middle of praying I will be thinking of other things and just ‘babbling vain repetitions’ so to speak.
I understand that the faith and our prayer life isn’t dependent on “feelings”, but should it be totally detatched? Someone once told me that St. Francis of Assisi used to pace around his room before Mass everyday and make himself cry so as to be in the right state of mind to receive the Eucharist. I see and read on here all the time of people who are brought to tears at the thought of receiving Our Lord and contemplating His Passion.
I have been praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, trying to focus on the Wounds and Passion of Our Lord, yet I don’t have any physical response. Intellectually I know all the right things, but there is nothing there emotionally. Then my mind will wander off to daily tasks and whatnot and I have to call myself back to focus.
As far as Our Blessed Mother goes, I just have a hard time feeling (again that word), close to her. I pray at least one decade (sometimes more) of the Rosary every night, yet feel no closer to her now than before my conversion. Again, intellectually I know all the right things about Her and how much I “should” love her as my own mother, but…I don’t know. I was told by my Spiritual Director that the best way to grow in a relationship with Her is to continue to pray for Her intercession and don’t give up. But I feel disingenuous if I continue to pray and cannot seem to embrace Her the way I should.
Lastly, I just want to reiterate that I know the faith is not about warm and fuzzy feelings, but I don’t know if it should be completely devoid of them either, and that is what is frustrating me because I want to feel closer to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother, not for my own sake, but for the fact that they deserve my true and unimpeded love.
Any thoughts or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
God bless,
Paul
I have been thinking a lot lately about my prayer life and how to improve it. I have two basic things that I struggle with as far as prayer goes, 1. I do not feel as close to the BVM as I think I should and 2. I can never discern if my motivation behind prayer is pure or not, meaning, for instance, most times in the middle of praying I will be thinking of other things and just ‘babbling vain repetitions’ so to speak.
I understand that the faith and our prayer life isn’t dependent on “feelings”, but should it be totally detatched? Someone once told me that St. Francis of Assisi used to pace around his room before Mass everyday and make himself cry so as to be in the right state of mind to receive the Eucharist. I see and read on here all the time of people who are brought to tears at the thought of receiving Our Lord and contemplating His Passion.
I have been praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, trying to focus on the Wounds and Passion of Our Lord, yet I don’t have any physical response. Intellectually I know all the right things, but there is nothing there emotionally. Then my mind will wander off to daily tasks and whatnot and I have to call myself back to focus.
As far as Our Blessed Mother goes, I just have a hard time feeling (again that word), close to her. I pray at least one decade (sometimes more) of the Rosary every night, yet feel no closer to her now than before my conversion. Again, intellectually I know all the right things about Her and how much I “should” love her as my own mother, but…I don’t know. I was told by my Spiritual Director that the best way to grow in a relationship with Her is to continue to pray for Her intercession and don’t give up. But I feel disingenuous if I continue to pray and cannot seem to embrace Her the way I should.
Lastly, I just want to reiterate that I know the faith is not about warm and fuzzy feelings, but I don’t know if it should be completely devoid of them either, and that is what is frustrating me because I want to feel closer to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother, not for my own sake, but for the fact that they deserve my true and unimpeded love.
Any thoughts or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
God bless,
Paul