Questions regarding "The Sacraments"

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A few of my family members have not made some of the “Sacraments”. One 17 year old made “First Reconciliation”, but no “First Communion”. One 22 year old has not made “Confirmation”. Will they not go to heaven, even though they are good kids?

And what would happen to the parents of these children…if they don’t go to church regularly?
 
Being “good” does not automatically guarentee heaven, but neither does having received all the sacraments. Following the will of God and obeying his commandments is what is required of us. Part of that is doing as the Church tells us. As a Catholic, (I assume you are) you have a responsibility to evangalize and assist in the faith formation of your family. Since the 2 you speak about are not little kids, you should talk to them directly about completing their sacraments and starting to go to church again. The same for their parents (your brothers and sisters?). In vite them to go to Mass with you, speak about the importance of the faith. Draw them in with love not scolding. Most importantly, pray for them.
 
My apologies, I should have made it more clear. This is my family. I came from a Catholic family that was not as strict compared to my in-laws. They are very commited to their church. I have been presented a question from my mother-in-law…She asked my husband and I…“What will we do when we go before the “Lord” and we have not evangilized our children?”

This really was very hurtful to me. And it scared me at the same time. There are reasons they have not made some of the sacraments. But, then again that could be considered an excuse. I am wondering if this is unforgiveable and WE won’t be accepted into heaven?
I would hope that if we all went to RCIA, completed our sacraments, and go to church, that this would help.
 
My apologies, I should have made it more clear. This is my family. I came from a Catholic family that was not as strict compared to my in-laws. They are very commited to their church. I have been presented a question from my mother-in-law…She asked my husband and I…“What will we do when we go before the “Lord” and we have not evangilized our children?”

This really was very hurtful to me. And it scared me at the same time. There are reasons they have not made some of the sacraments. But, then again that could be considered an excuse. I am wondering if this is unforgiveable and WE won’t be accepted into heaven?
I would hope that if we all went to RCIA, completed our sacraments, and go to church, that this would help.
The only sin not forgivable is the one that forgivness is not asked of. I would start by being at Mass every Sunday. Contact the parish office about registering as memebers of the parish. Set up an appointment with the Priest to discuss the best plan for these members that have not completed the Sacrements of initiation, RCIA is one he may give just a few individule seession it depends on how things are done in your parish and Diocese.

My Brother was 42 last year when he made his first confess, first communion and was confirmed, he had been baptized as a infant. So it is not to later for these young Adults (17 and 22) to enter into full communion with. I will say that if they were Baptized catholic In my Diocese at least, for the Priest to confirm them he will need the Bishops premission. other wise the Bishop has to confirm them as he is the normal minister of this Sacrament. I have never heard of a Bishop dening premission.
 
Thank you for your advise. I also thought about visiting our priest. My children were baptized and one made First Communion at the same parish. When we go to church, we go to a different parish closer to our home.

I am confused about your comment on the Bishop. Why would he need to give permission? Wouldn’t my parish priest be able to grant the Sacraments since we are Catholic and have made some of the Sacraments?

I appreciate you comment on your brother. I have yet to make my Confirmation at 47.

It scares me that My Family may not go to heaven, if we don’t complete these sacraments and go to church regularly.
 
Thank you for your advise. I also thought about visiting our priest. My children were baptized and one made First Communion at the same parish. When we go to church, we go to a different parish closer to our home.

I am confused about your comment on the Bishop. Why would he need to give permission? Wouldn’t my parish priest be able to grant the Sacraments since we are Catholic and have made some of the Sacraments?

I appreciate you comment on your brother. I have yet to make my Confirmation at 47.

It scares me that My Family may not go to heaven, if we don’t complete these sacraments and go to church regularly.
You are most welcome. The Bishop is the regular minister of the Sacrament of confirmation all baptized Catholic receive this sacremnt from him normally around age 13 to 14 or so. If you aor any catholic did not at that time recieve it and later in life come to the Church to do so it is still the Bishop to whom would adiministoer the Sacrement. Now days with som many Adults returning to the faith reception back is normally done at the easter vigial when new converts are recieved into to Church. Since the Bishop can not be in every parish at the vigial the priest has authority to confirm all new converts, But if you are a person that was Baptized as a child Catholic and did not continue with recieveing confirmation when you should have the local priest wll write to the Bishop tell them that you have presented yourself for confirmation at the vigil I have never heard of premission being denied. it is more or less a formality. It is premission for the preist to administor the Sacrament to you not for you to receive it.

In my Brother case he could have choosen to go to the the Diocesean Mass for confreamtion and been confirmed by the Bishop and no premission would have been needed he would have registored and went to the clases through the diocese instead of through RCIA at our parish.

One more thing. Relax The Sacraments are instuments that Christ gave us for receiveing Gods grace they are not the decidng factor on our salvation. We must be Baptized. to have life we need the Eucharist. To fully enjoy God’s forgiveness and show our sorrow and repentance we need sacramantly confession.
go to yur priest all of you and by this time next your you can all be confirmed together at the vigial.
 
A few of my family members have not made some of the “Sacraments”. One 17 year old made “First Reconciliation”, but no “First Communion”. One 22 year old has not made “Confirmation”. Will they not go to heaven, even though they are good kids?

And what would happen to the parents of these children…if they don’t go to church regularly?
last query first, if these children are baptized, their parents made a profession of faith on their behalf and a solemn promise to raise those children in the faith, including seeing to their religious education throughout their school years and bringing them to the sacraments at the age determined by their bishop. So at the least they have violated that solemn promise. If they are not attending Mass themselves they are of course in mortal sin, and the sin is compounded by failing to give their children opportunity to attend Mass. This depends on their knowledge of these obligations and the consequences

by the time the children are over the age of reason or at least in their teens they are adults for the purposes of initiation sacraments, so cannot be forced to have first communion or confirmation, so w/o knowing all the details no way to give an answer specific to this particular family, only a general answer

why on earth an adult Catholic would not be panting and thirsting for sacraments is beyond my understanding, but those charged with their religious formation will be held accountable for this lack. where are the godparents in all this, who promised to help this child be raised in the faith?
My apologies, I should have made it more clear. This is my family. I came from a Catholic family that was not as strict compared to my in-laws. They are very commited to their church. I have been presented a question from my mother-in-law…She asked my husband and I…“What will we do when we go before the “Lord” and we have not evangilized our children?”

This really was very hurtful to me. And it scared me at the same time. There are reasons they have not made some of the sacraments. But, then again that could be considered an excuse. I am wondering if this is unforgiveable and WE won’t be accepted into heaven?
I would hope that if we all went to RCIA, completed our sacraments, and go to church, that this would help.
to do this as a family would be a wonderful thing, and a source of immense graces for the entire family. Your MIL asked a legitimate question, if you are already Catholic parents and she asked out of concern for your immortal soul, and that of your children. She in no way implied, or inteded to imply that you are bad or your kids are bad, only that you have failed in this element of your duty as Catholic parents.

those who failed in your own upbringing to teach you these things are culpable if you were left in ignorance of the importance of sacraments in the life of the Catholic person and family.

only God decides who enters heaven, we do not, so speculation on that point is out of place

I want to repeat one more time at the risk of being borning, because I meet parents like this every day. No one ever taught them the true meaning of Mass and the sacraments as celebrations of and participation in Christ’s sacrifice that saves us. If they had been properly educated, nothing would keep them away from the grace of the sacraments, and they would allow nothing to prevent their children from coming to Christ. If they were poorly taught, their own guilt is much mitigated, and the burden of answering to God falls on those whose duty it was to teach them properly. So don’t be too quick to blame yourself it you never understood, or don’t understand now, why the sacraments are so important.

There is plenty of time to remedy any lack and when the whole family humbly comes to ask the Church for this grace, it is an immense blessing to the family, each member, and the whole Church. You have been provided with the opportunity for grace beyond imagining and I hope you are able to take advantage of it.
 
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH…I appreciate your ability to understand the situation. I personally did attend some CCD/CCE in my early years and went to church some. But, it was not ingrained in my upbringing as strictly as my husband. I appreciate your support in this area.

We have had some problems with my son during the time he was trying to receive his First Communion. He was able to make his First Reconciliation. He was ill quite a bit. He struggles in school and we had him tested. He has Learning Disabilities, ADD and Processing Speed problems.

So, I feel it would be very hard for him to go to RCIA classes and really retain what he is taught. We have had a lot of pressure from the in-laws (very good people) and I know my husband will not go, my son will probably not go, and I’m not sure about my daughter. My son feels like he shouldn’t be made to go to be accepted by his grandparents.

So, it has been a little bit complicated.
 
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH…I appreciate your ability to understand the situation. I personally did attend some CCD/CCE in my early years and went to church some. But, it was not ingrained in my upbringing as strictly as my husband. I appreciate your support in this area.

We have had some problems with my son during the time he was trying to receive his First Communion. He was able to make his First Reconciliation. He was ill quite a bit. He struggles in school and we had him tested. He has Learning Disabilities, ADD and Processing Speed problems.

So, I feel it would be very hard for him to go to RCIA classes and really retain what he is taught. We have had a lot of pressure from the in-laws (very good people) and I know my husband will not go, my son will probably not go, and I’m not sure about my daughter. My son feels like he shouldn’t be made to go to be accepted by his grandparents.

So, it has been a little bit complicated.
I will say a prayer for you and your Family. The decision must be your sons. One thing I would tell him is he would not be doing this for his Grandparnets he would be doing it as an out ward sign to God to show his love for God. How much he retains for the RCIA would really matter little as learning the Faith comes from living the Faith in receiving the sacraments, not the Class room. It is a life time process. RCIA is just to give you the Most Basic of understanding.
 
I would hope that if we all went to RCIA, completed our sacraments, and go to church, that this would help.
Yes, that would help. Please see your priest.
My son feels like he shouldn’t be made to go to be accepted by his grandparents.
The love of a grandparent should not be contingent on whether one is a fully-initiated, practicing Catholic. But that’s not quite what “accepted” means. Are they not accepting of him, or are they not accepting of the choices he’s made?

That being said, he should not be pressured unduly. Sacraments must be received freely.
 
I will be praying for you. Like your own family, I was not confirmed until I was an adult. We moved quite a bit because of my father’s job and somehow my confirmation was missed in all the moves. As an adult, I made the decision to attend RCIA in my own parish and was confirmed by my pastor with permission of the bishop.

In your own case, OP, please do contact your priest. Ask him what needs to be done. He may be willing to arrange ‘private’ sessions with your family for instruction prior to completing your sacraments. My own family were allowed to have instruction under me, the Pastor and the DRE (for the children) then met with them and they were all confirmed together. You may be able to arrange some family sessions with your in-laws, where they assist you all in discovering the Catholic faith. You also don’t have to know everything or pass any kind of test to be confirmed. You should have a basic understanding and assent to the faith you are accepting, but you don’t have to have phD level knowledge or be ready to jump in and teach CCD! We continue to learn and grow all through our lives.

First step though is simply to have a conversation with your priest. Call him this week and set something up!
 
WOW…Thank you all so much for the prayers, support, great ideas and advise. This forum is a great avenue for a wealth of information.
 
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