Queston about AIDS and married people?

[TraderTif]

Just a theoretical question here…

If one spouse contracts AIDS after marriage, then should the couple abstain from sex forever (to prevent transmission)? Or what?

 

[vern_humphrey]

Just a theoretical question here…

If one spouse contracts AIDS after marriage, then should the couple abstain from sex forever (to prevent transmission)? Or what?

If I had AIDS, the very thought that I might infect my wife would render me physically unable to have sex.

 

[TraderTif]

If I had AIDS, the very thought that I might infect my wife would render me physically unable to have sex.

Yeah, I was kind of thinking along those lines myself.

But I was asking more if the Church has any official teaching on this??

 

[Dale_M]

I am not aware of any Church teachings on this, although certainly it would play into the condom issue. In a serodiscordant couple, if a couple is to maintain having sexual relations, then using a condom is a necessity. But since the Church frowns on the use of condoms, even for HIV prevention, then by implication it means the couple is expected to refrain from sex.

Like Vern, I can’t imagine exposing a partner to the possibility of contracting HIV. But after hanging out on a forum for persons affected by the virus, I see that many people do choose to expose themselves to the risk.

 

[Dale_M]

Oh, I should add that I am not sure if any of those serodiscordant couples having marital relations are actually Catholic.

 

[Gardening_Mommy]

Cardinal Martini (I think) made some statement to the press that the use of a condom for sexual relations in a couple where one person was infected with AIDS and the other was not was under consideration.

This statement was quickly squashed by the Vatican, who said that no such discussion was under way!

Given that the AIDS-positive person probably got it from extra-marital sex (not always, I know, but usually, especially in Africa where prostitutes and mistresses are considered perfectly normal in many areas- the Church has put great efforts into catechesis in these subjects), I’m not sure I’d rely on his good will towards his spouse in making any decision!

Besides, condoms are not 100% successful in preventing STD transmission; it would only be a matter of time before the uninfected spouse was infected and dying, too.

 

[TraderTif]

nodding

I guess what I’m thinking is that it would be ok for the couple to never have sex again, right? Because there is such a serious reason?

And if the husband really wanted sex, the wife would still be within her rights to refuse because she doesn’t want to get AIDS, right?

(I’m having a discussion with some people, and they are trying to tell everyone that the Church, in this situation, won’t let the wife refuse sex and thus everyone gets AIDS and dies…and that certainly doesn’t sound right to me,)

 

[Gardening_Mommy]

Yes, they should abstain for life.
Yes, the wife can refuse marital relations for the sake of her own life.

Who is saying the Church would say she has no right to refuse? I would suspect this is some group or person who is pushing the Church to okay condoms. If you can blame the Church for putting people in harm’s way and refusing protection, then they make an easier target.

Of course, the Church’s position is really much more considerate of the dignity and responsibilities of everyone involved than anything the secular world is offering, but if they admit that, they lose money…

 

[Dale_M]

But I was asking more if the Church has any official teaching on this??

Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has been looking at an ‘exhaustive’ study of this issue, apparently requested by Pope Benedict.
catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/0606640.htm
But considering they’ve had it for nearly eight months, and considering the slowness of issuing the motu proprio on the Tridentine liturgy, I wouldn’t expect a definitive answer anytime soon.

 

[Dan48167]

Just a theoretical question here…

If one spouse contracts AIDS after marriage, then should the couple abstain from sex forever (to prevent transmission)? Or what?

Unfortunately this is not a theoretical question for many people. In several African and Asian nations, the highest risk factor for contracting HIV for a young women is to be married. In sub-saharan Africa, 57% of all HIV infections are among women.

Several Bishops Conference have sought to give guidance in this extremely difficult issue.

“There are couples where one of the parties is living with HIV/AIDS … The Church accepts that everyone has the right to defend one’s life against mortal danger. This would include using the appropriate means and course of action.
Similarly where one spouse if infected with HIV/AIDS they must listen to their consciences. They are the only ones who can choose the appropriate means in order to defend themselves against the infection. Decisions of such an intimate nature should be made by both husband and wife as equal and loving partners.”

A Message of Hope from the Catholic Bishops to the People of God in South Africa, Botswana, and Swaziland, 30 July 2001.

The Bishops of Chad spoke of the Church’s responsibility to uphold the teaching of the Church with regard to conjugal fidelity and chastity but also recognised the role of the conscience as the “ultimate moral rule”. They, too, left to the intimate space of the marital relationship the decision about how best to prevent the spread of HIV from one marital spouse to the other.

“ … the role of the Catholic Church is not promote the use of the condom but rather conjugal fidelity and chastity … It is our duty to say that there are better means than the condom to protect oneself against AIDS: conjugal fidelity …
… The ultimate moral rule is our conscience. It is up to each and everyone of us to … assume one’s responsibility according to the situation in which one finds oneself. Because ‘no one is bound to do the impossible’, spouses cannot be asked to abstain from sexual intercourse; we therefore understand that a person, through love, may be led to use the condom to protect himself/herself or to protect his/her partner.”

The Bishops of Chad Statement on AIDS, October 2002

This is not just an issue in Africa and Asia. I have met plenty of serodiscordant couples in the United States.

There has not been a definitive Church teaching regarding the role of sexual expression in a marriage in which one spouse is HIV+. As was noted in other postings, there is study going on among several Pontifical Councils. This is an issue that demands much thought and should not be rushed because the ramifications of any pronouncement have great impact. Unfortunately, the press does not bother to look at nuances in Church teaching.