Quick-tempered person needs your advice

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I am quick-tempered. I am trying to change my ways. Are there others on this forum who struggle with anger issues? What do you do to keep from losing your temper?
 
I have a horrible temper. Sometimes praying works, sometimes it doesn’t.😞
 
I have a terrible temper while driving, and get really frustrated with automated telephone systems…

Generally, I try to thank God for the opportunity to grow in patience, and try to look at it that way.
 
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Think about what you say before you say it. Is it really worth getting so het up about? Will it matter in six months’ time? Is it worth the potential damage to relationships?

All things to weigh up, I’ve found.
 
I was taught to use this acronym: START

Stop

Think

Assess

Reassess

Talk
 
I’ve posted this before someplace, but in the “Little House” books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, there is a part where Laura and her sister have cleaned the whole house while their parents are away, to surprise their mother, and just when they have gotten it all done, they discover the baby got into the stove blacking and made a huge mess of herself, the stove, and then for the big finish spilled blacking all over the freshly cleaned floor. The book says, “Laura remembered to count ten.”

I likewise try to “remember to count ten”.
 
I used to be quick tempered, and from my experience, debating with people does not help. Pray for the virtues of patience and self-restraint. Change habits that trigger your temper, even if it means avoiding certain people. Practice staying silent, like Jesus before his accusers. It will take time and effort.
 
YourNameHere said:
Are there others on this forum who struggle with anger issues? What do you do to keep from losing your temper?
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I am a despicable rage volcano. I recently came across this prayer I quite like.
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A Prayer to Use Before you React Spirituality
I saw this prayer this morning online that is something I’ve always needed. A prayer to say before you react: to disrespect from your children, disagreement with your spouse, to conflicts at work, to exchanges online and boy do I wish I had this one when I was still in the classroom! “Just judge, in the judgment seat, I put the soul of (name of other person) at your feet. Just judge, in the judgment seat, I put my soul at your feet. Amen.” I mean, a Come Holy Spirit works too, but I’d never …
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DH used to have an explosive temper. One of the things that helped him tame it was doing jigsaw puzzles. It forced him to cultivate patience…
 
I struggled horribly with bad temper.

The major key for me was learning that greater patience gets greater peace and greater kindness gets greater joy. Knowing this gives me incentive to set aside my temper and grow in patience and kindness, even when I don’t initially desire being patient and kind.
 
Saint Jerome was rather infamous for his irascible and bad-tempered nature. He carried a rock with him with which he mortified his flesh to save his soul. Asking for his intercession is certainly a very good start.

However, I think that each of us can feel the blood rising. That is a useful warning that it is good for us to disengage or remove ourselves from the situation if possible. Realizing that we are about to lose it and falling to one’s knees in humility and contrition before our Lord is also helpful.

Even such seemingly mundane things as the serenity prayer can help. There are many things to try and one of more of them will certainly be effective. We err when we fail to try such methods.
 
I used to have a far worse temper. What changed? Life experience really. I aged.

Eventually I realized that losing my cool helps nothing and hurts relationships unnecessarily. Keeping my cool gets me out crazy treacherous scenarios professionally…with random strangers… Keeping your cool also gives you a clear advantage in situations where others lose their cool.

So think thru situation where you have lost your temper and think through the results of losing your cool. Do it from the perspective of being Christian and Catholic.

Also, there is a difference between sticking up for yourself or giving harsh but necessary criticism and losing your cool. Sometimes it just takes practice to not lose your cool in these situations.

Also, sometimes you really need some controlled and focused anger. Like I’ve said in other threads… Jesus took a whip, used it, and overturned the money changer’s table. The thing is this…I’m sure he thought through his actions in this scenario. He was still very much in control.
 
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