go to the dance if you are close to the family but skip the service, which is not a Mass. nor is it a sacrament. it is a farce actually to have anything in Church since the point of the religious celebration is commemorating the child’s baptism and reception of communion (NOT a coming of age or debut). Family obviously has not been active in the Church or their own parish if they “could not find a priest” nor has the child been receiving religious education–the usual reason why a parish would decline to offer a church celebration of this event. At least some evidence of actual participation in Mass and the sacraments is necessary in order to celebrate that participation. Perhaps you can help them “find a priest”, call the diocesan office and ask for someone in charge of Hispanic ministry.
and no, if you find you must attend due to family reasons, you may not receive communion if the “Mass” is not licit. strongly urge the family to have whatever celebration they arrange without a communion service if you have any influence and they refuse to do this in the Catholic parish