Raging mom (Update)

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1990Domer

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Hi Everyone!

Thank you again for your support and prayers! They are priceless to me. Right now, I see the cycle progressing through its normal channels. I am completely cut off from my mom and my dad because he doesn’t have the energy (both emotional and now physical) to do anything to help my mom.

She sent a nasty note to me, but it was enclosed in a letter to my son. Thankfully, he did not get the mail that day! I was able to intercept and hide it from him.

His therapist did a great job of explaining–on his level–what is happening to my mom.

We pray for both of them, and we decided that this time, we had to follow through on her promise to get therapy (and provide us proof) before she can have contact with us. Also, she needs to remain in therapy. It can’t be a band-aid.

With then being 89 and 86, I don’t know what to expect. However, I would end up in a premature grave if I didn’t do this. I only wish I had the strength to do it long ago.

Wishing everyone a very Holy Lenten season.
 
Protecting your child is what is important! I know it’s difficult.
 
There was a similar situation described today on EWTN radio with their child psychologist.

He can’t diagnose anything over the phone and on the radio, but he hinted that the caller’s mom may have an initial stage of dementia – referring to an apparent personality change.

There is a situation like this in my family, but not exactly the same. Here, it’s more of a long-standing dysfunctional personality disorder. And, there’s a similar problem in a family that I know.

We are unable to put ourselves in that person’s frame of mind to understand their behavior.

Pray. Suggestion from EWTN radio - what to give up for Lent: being offended.
 
Once again, thank you for all the prayers! I am no longer offended by my mom’s actions. What scared me is her trying to put a wedge between me and my son. This is such a hallmark of her condition. In all honesty, this is the time when I am happy that I went to college and studied my butt off in a STEM major in order to get a job that would get me out of their house.

I truly have an awesome husband who tells me every day that I am safe. My son knows he is safe. I am working on squashing the flashbacks that keep coming up. I have been going to confession often. I need to stay strong, and keeping close to the sacraments does that for me.
 
Domer, hang in there! It sounds like you and your husband and son are doing great even if your mom is not. You are doing the right thing for your son and for you. May God bless you and give you strength.🙂
 
@Irishmom2,

I am trying my very best to stay upbeat. Seeing my DS serve mass at American Czestochowa Shrine was nothing but lovely! Equally lovely was seeing my class make their First Penance! They were so well-behaved and pious!

The sad irony is that my husband had to cut ties with his family, also due to their toxicity and to preserve our sanity and protect our son. I truly wish this wasn’t the case, but we all have our crosses to bear. Lent is a great time to turn to Christ for help.

I must say that my son has developed into a pretty remarkable young man. Nobody expected him to make it this far, but God writes with a crooked stick. I also think Pope Saint John Paul II had a say in all this. I still feel his intervention has led us to where we are now–my son discerning a religious vocation and attending Pope JPII high school next year.

God bless.
 
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