Raging sex drive...help!

[TLM08]

I am of the opinion that sex occurring within the bonds of a loving relationship is not sinful, as long as both parties are consenting adults in the right frame of mind.

Fair enough! Wow! It would be great if your “opinion” was indeed “fact”. If you are right, then we are all missing out on a whole boatload of fun.

Suppose I take fancy to your mother… can I have “fun” with her for a night or two? How about your 18 year old daughter? I’ll be “loving” towards them. Certainly you wouldn’t mind… right Leonardo?

See, the problem is this, two thousand years of church teaching backed up by countless theologians, many of who are saints are directly opposed to your opinion. How much weight will your “opinion” have when you have to face God the Father Almighty on your judgement day? By the way, are you a product of the modern “Catholic” education system?
Just wondering!

 

[benedictus2]

I am of the opinion that sex occurring within the bonds of a loving relationship is not sinful, as long as both parties are consenting adults in the right frame of mind.

This is just the lie that is taken as truth now. “Love” has been made the excuse for so much evil: fornication, abortion, euthanasia, adultery, child abuse,etc.

The whole problem is “Opinion”. As if truth is subjective.

Whether something is a sin or not is not for you to decide. This is solely God’s domain. We are not the arbiters of morality here, God is.

Fornication is a sin according to the Bible. But of course, if you are not Christian that will mean nothing to you.

 

[benedictus2]

You are normal.The last thing I want to say, is that if you do break down and have sex, there is a very high chance you will get pregnant (I assume you’re not on birth control). If you’re not ready for that yet, you may want to consider having condoms nearby just in case.

What absolute rubbish! Please take your filthy ideas somewhere else.

To listen to you would be to have the devil as spiritual director.

 

[warpspeedpetey]

Answers like the one above do more to drive people away from God’s love, mercy and forgiveness and right into despair. Masturbation can be, but is not always a mortal sin. There are complicated issues both physical, mental and moral that must be considered in evaluating one’s degree of responsibility. A good priest can make that determination… not us!

Suppose a marine and his squad who are out of ammunition are hiding in darkness awaiting the heavily armed enemy to pass by on a dirt road in the dark of night. One sneeze will result in the entire squad being discovered and their capture or death. Now imagine being a young marine with the beginnings of a cold. Of couse it’s possible to hold back a sneeze, but sometimes no matter how hard you try, it’s coming out.

How about an itch? If someone offered you five hundred dollars not to scratch any itches and hold back all sneezes for one week, could you do it? Certainly, masturbation is more a serious issue than an itch or a sneeze, but the physical principle within the body is VERY similar. Scratching itches and sneezing both provide relief and are pleasurable to the body by the way!

Here’s another question: Suppose an generous, responsible 18 year-old boy who attends daily Mass, regular confession and is saving himself for marriage, finds a dirty magazine in a restroom and is overpowered by temptation and winds up masturbating. He fully intends to confess his sin when he goes to confession. While driving to help his sick grandmother is killed in an automobile accident. Did this sin cause him to go straight to Hell?

Before you accuse me of making excuses for masturbation, understand this: The catechism says that masturbation is an “intrinsically and gravely disordered action”. Nowhere does it say that it is always a mortal sin. Masturbation is an extremely primative and most natural act that occurs in many of God’s creatures. The forces that drive it in mankind can be very complex. As people of God, we are called to a higher standard of behavior than mere animals. People who struggle with this need to consult with their priest confessor regarding their level of accountability.

Her goal should be to focus her energies on getting established in her state of life, attend regular confession, include daily prayer as a priority and yes, DO HER BEST to refrain from all sexual activity until it can be expressed in an appropriate loving way in the marriage bed as their God given intended purpose.

where to begin

1. G-d determines responsibility, not your confessor
2. sin separates one from the Love and Mercy of G-d by definition
3. guilt is not supposed to be pleasant, its an early warning system. something is going wrong, beep beep beep
4. one cannot be damaged by the restraint of the sexual urge, but one can be damaged by its improper use.
5. yes, you can 100% percent of the time, refrain from any inappropriate sexual activity, to suggest otherwise is unreasonable
6. masturbation is not a natural act in any way, thats a myth.
   society just told us all it was harmless and not to feel bad, as an adult i know they were absolutely wrong.
7. Yes, “if” one dies in mortal sin he does indeed suffer that complete separation from G-d, commonly known as hell. “if” is important here

the last two paragraphs are correct, and i admire your compassion, but there is never an excuse for knowingly sinning. a sin is a slap in the face to G-d. the fact that i myself am a very wicked man who has suffered with all we have discussed here lets me know from experience the true cost of sin. true compassion does not cuddle the sinner, and say thats ok, it calls out for repentance in a loving, accepting manner. compassion lights the path back to a full communion with G-d.

 

[TLM08]

where to begin

1. G-d determines responsibility, not your confessor
2. sin separates one from the Love and Mercy of G-d by definition
3. guilt is not supposed to be pleasant, its an early warning system. something is going wrong, beep beep beep
4. one cannot be damaged by the restraint of the sexual urge, but one can be damaged by its improper use.
5. yes, you can 100% percent of the time, refrain from any inappropriate sexual activity, to suggest otherwise is unreasonable
6. masturbation is not a natural act in any way, thats a myth.
   society just told us all it was harmless and not to feel bad, as an adult i know they were absolutely wrong.
7. Yes, “if” one dies in mortal sin he does indeed suffer that complete separation from G-d, commonly known as hell. “if” is important here

the last two paragraphs are correct, and i admire your compassion, but there is never an excuse for knowingly sinning. a sin is a slap in the face to G-d. the fact that i myself am a very wicked man who has suffered with all we have discussed here lets me know from experience the true cost of sin. true compassion does not cuddle the sinner, and say thats ok, it calls out for repentance in a loving, accepting manner. compassion lights the path back to a full communion with G-d.

Regarding #5
I am confident that the Lord Jesus Christ, The Blessed Virgin Mary and a very small handful of saints have accomplished this level of obedience to Church teaching. Probably 95% of the rest of us are going to fall short!

Regarding #6
Masturbation is as natural of an act in the rhelm of human behavior as it gets. There is however a moral component to it. Little children will steal and lie if given the chance. It is their nature. They must be taught and led in the right direction, not beaten to death with condemnation. This is one area where we as Catholics need to emulate our separated bretheren in this ecumenical age! Masturbation is probably always sinful to one degree of another, and often perhaps it can be mortally so. A good example of this being “mortally” sinful would be what goes on when a married man enjoys a “table dance” in one of these filty strip clubs that should be shut down. This is far differentThe natural state of man in this fallen world is sinful. This is NOT an endorsement of masturbation, it’s a reality of our fallen sinful nature.

 

[warpspeedpetey]

i mostly agree, everyone fails, but making any excuse is cooperating with evil, even in a little way, out of the feeling of compassion, it is still wrong. yes we are human, but we must not excuse away sin out of a sense of compassion, that might be one way you get those strip clubs.

i know it sounds harsh but we arent talking about sports, these are deadly serious actions, with real consequences.

true love would be to state the utter truth. in order to help avoid those consequences

 

[Leonardo_DV]

Fair enough! Wow! It would be great if your “opinion” was indeed “fact”. If you are right, then we are all missing out on a whole boatload of fun.

Suppose I take fancy to your mother… can I have “fun” with her for a night or two? How about your 18 year old daughter? I’ll be “loving” towards them. Certainly you wouldn’t mind… right Leonardo?

See, the problem is this, two thousand years of church teaching backed up by countless theologians, many of who are saints are directly opposed to your opinion. How much weight will your “opinion” have when you have to face God the Father Almighty on your judgement day? By the way, are you a product of the modern “Catholic” education system?
Just wondering!

I’m a product of a non-denominational education system. One where we are taught to think by ourselves.

 

[Leonardo_DV]

This is just the lie that is taken as truth now. “Love” has been made the excuse for so much evil: fornication, abortion, euthanasia, adultery, child abuse,etc.

The whole problem is “Opinion”. As if truth is subjective.

Whether something is a sin or not is not for you to decide. This is solely God’s domain. We are not the arbiters of morality here, God is.

Fornication is a sin according to the Bible. But of course, if you are not Christian that will mean nothing to you.

Love as an excuse for evil within the Catholic church by the priests (see highlighted above)?

 

[benedictus2]

Love as an excuse for evil within the Catholic church by the priests (see highlighted above)?

That these priests sinl is a fact. But the Catholic Church never said it was okay because they “loved” the children. It is acknowledged as sin.

In your case, you don’t want to consider it a sin so that you will feel good about yourself while you commit it.

BIG DIFFERENCE!

But that’s okay. You are free to delude yourself.

 

[sseason]

This is just the lie that is taken as truth now. “Love” has been made the excuse for so much evil: fornication, abortion, euthanasia, adultery, child abuse,etc.

The whole problem is “Opinion”. As if truth is subjective.

Whether something is a sin or not is not for you to decide. This is solely God’s domain. We are not the arbiters of morality here, God is.

Fornication is a sin according to the Bible. But of course, if you are not Christian that will mean nothing to you.

AMEN!

 

[sseason]

sseason,

eloquent, i wish i could speak the truth with such kindness, from me it just sounds harsh, i am impressed

Thank you…first time I’ve had a compliment like that before. I appreciate it. If it came off well, and without error, then I guess it was inspired by the Holy Spirit. …So the credit goes the Him!

Just so you know…after reading some of these reply’s, my first inclination is not to be so kind. I often have to hold back when I feel harsh words coming to my mind.

 

[warpspeedpetey]

your welcome, im just a direct person, i just try not to beat around the bush, i would like to be less harsh, but i wont compromise the complete truth to soften the blow in important situation.

and yes, as to the comment at the top of the post, i practice what i preach, it isn’t easy, but that kind of self discipline is helping me grow spiritually in ways that i couldn’t when i was busy satisfying the flesh

 

[sseason]

your welcome, im just a direct person, i just try not to beat around the bush, i would like to be less harsh, but i wont compromise the complete truth to soften the blow in important situation.

and yes, as to the comment at the top of the post, i practice what i preach, it isn’t easy, but that kind of self discipline is helping me grow spiritually in ways that i couldn’t when i was busy satisfying the flesh

Good for you! There is too much “softening” and “diluting” when it comes to important issues. Truth should never be compromised.

Isn’t it interesting that when we obey the teachings of the Church (that may not be so clear by reading the Bible alone), our life becomes more spiritual and peaceful? Man, I guess God knows what He is doing afterall!

 

[warpspeedpetey]

yeah,

its amazing the things you find out about yourself when you surrender to the Divine will and abandon your own

regular reception of the Eucharist, regular Confession, and self discipline are the best medicines i ever had

he has been so Good to me, so Merciful and Just.
all I did most of my life was to offend Him,

i was full of Self Love but He didn’t give up to me
He never left me alone, i cant repay Him

but i am so happy to be here now

 

[sseason]

 

[warpspeedpetey]

“Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

we seem to be of a like mind on the issue

its good too know im not the only one

 

[warpspeedpetey]

hey,

i just realized our signatures mean about the same thing!

is that bad like if we both showed up somewhere with the same shirt on?

 

[TLM08]

I’m a product of a non-denominational education system. One where we are taught to think by ourselves.

If I were allowed to “think all by myself” like you, I would definitely be in the fast track to Hell with no stopping. Thank God I have the Catholic Church to help guide me during my struggles and failings as I attempt to live a life pleasing to God.

 

[whatevergirl]

Where did the OP go? I hope that she found some of the moral advice here helpful.

 

[elvisman]

Answers like the one above do more to drive people away from God’s love, mercy and forgiveness and right into despair. Masturbation can be, but is not always a mortal sin. There are complicated issues both physical, mental and moral that must be considered in evaluating one’s degree of responsibility. A good priest can make that determination… not us!

Suppose a marine and his squad who are out of ammunition are hiding in darkness awaiting the heavily armed enemy to pass by on a dirt road in the dark of night. One sneeze will result in the entire squad being discovered and their capture or death. Now imagine being a young marine with the beginnings of a cold. Of couse it’s possible to hold back a sneeze, but sometimes no matter how hard you try, it’s coming out.

How about an itch? If someone offered you five hundred dollars not to scratch any itches and hold back all sneezes for one week, could you do it? Certainly, masturbation is more a serious issue than an itch or a sneeze, but the physical principle within the body is VERY similar. Scratching itches and sneezing both provide relief and are pleasurable to the body by the way!

Here’s another question: Suppose an generous, responsible 18 year-old boy who attends daily Mass, regular confession and is saving himself for marriage, finds a dirty magazine in a restroom and is overpowered by temptation and winds up masturbating. He fully intends to confess his sin when he goes to confession. While driving to help his sick grandmother is killed in an automobile accident. Did this sin cause him to go straight to Hell?

Before you accuse me of making excuses for masturbation, understand this: The catechism says that masturbation is an “intrinsically and gravely disordered action”. Nowhere does it say that it is always a mortal sin. Masturbation is an extremely primative and most natural act that occurs in many of God’s creatures. The forces that drive it in mankind can be very complex. As people of God, we are called to a higher standard of behavior than mere animals. People who struggle with this need to consult with their priest confessor regarding their level of accountability.

Her goal should be to focus her energies on getting established in her state of life, attend regular confession, include daily prayer as a priority and yes, DO HER BEST to refrain from all sexual activity until it can be expressed in an appropriate loving way in the marriage bed as their God given intended purpose.

First of all - DON’T put words in my mouth.
I said that masurbation is GRAVE SIN - and it IS. I never said that it was “always a mortal sin”.

What I object to is the perverted logic that as long as you plan on going to confession later, go ahead and commit the sin. That, my friend is a moronic assertion and is completely against the teachings of the Church. This is what is referred to as the “sin of presumption”.

I wasn’t judging the OP - I was rebuking GULDENAT for giving her horrible advice. In his words, “that’s why he’s (God) got priests walking around ready to throw out some absolution”, indeed!

Your analogies about sneezing and scratching an itch are equally ignorant because those aren’t gravely disordered actions.

We are called upon to encourage and admonish one another (Rom. 15:14, Col. 3:16-17, 1 Cor. 12:25). Telling a brother or sister in Christ that masturbation is okay and not to feel so bad about it is patently absurd and patently unChristian.