Raise not equal to cost of living - need prayers

[Mirror_Mirror]

Sorry to vent here for minute, but I feel the strong need.

I received my raise at my current job and let me tell you that it is far beyond pathetic. I am at my whits end with this job and cannot take it much longer. I am in accounting and am considering leaving this company (very seriously) and switching into a different career. This has happened the last two years and I am so mad I could spit nails. Not only do I have to deal with this at work, but it has frustrated my wife and she is wanting me to get a new job. Therefore I am not happy at my job and when I go home I feel as if I have let my family down. My wife gets mad and she has every right to and it makes me feel even worse. My head is just spinning in circles and I cannot think straight. I want to find a new job and have been trying for over 9 months with no success. I know that I do not give it my all in finding a new job, but I have so much going on, I do not feel motivated.

My wife and I have 3 kids (7,3, and 10 months) and live a very modest life, our biggest asset is our house that we just bought. We are truly blessed by that, but for the past 4-5 years I have not made a significant increase in my salary. I am trying to do everything that I can to support the family financially by working 2 jobs (my wife stays at home with the kids) and sacrificing time with the family and sleep. Not to mention with tax season I will be helping my father (a CPA) with preparing tax returns for his clients. All of this has a lot to do with why I am so stressed out, but living paycheck to paycheck is not a “fun” life. It is hard to depend on tips (my second job is a waiter) to make up the difference. It would be nice to get a new position, start a new career where I make a better salary and cut back if not cut out the second job. I really need more family time.

This is where I find my struggles, trying to switch careers. Trying to find a new job. I am trying to give this all to God, but am finding that to be a struggle as well. I want to do God’s will in my life, but have never been very good at discerning what His call is. I want to serve Him, but I am very discouraged. I am stressed out, tired, and lack the motivation that I need to make these changes. Please someone help! I need as many prayers as possible and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance for letting me vent and for any prayers!

God Bless

 

[Cupofkindness]

Can you get your CPA?

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Cupofkindness:

Can you get your CPA?

I am a CPA candidate, but I am not sure that I want to stay with accounting. I may want to switch careers and am discerning that right now. Also, in order to take the CPA I would have to have time to do that which that is very scarce right now. With working 2 jobs, it takes me away from the house 3 nights out of the week, every Saturday night and every other Sunday night. This is aside from the 40 hours I work at my FT job.

I have a Father and Son’s program that my son (7) and I are part of one night a week, that leaves one free night for family time. It is really hard. I really feel like I am letting down my family, not giving enough quality time.

I have thought about getting my CPA, but without time to study or even the money to pay for the registration, it is tough. Ya know?

 

[felra]

Mirror Mirror:

I have thought about getting my CPA, but without time to study or even the money to pay for the registration, it is tough. Ya know?

Have you taken a long-term career/income/lifestyle assessment perspective and approach with your wife to put things into perspective? Honestly, the sacrifice of you and your wife to work two jobs to allow your wife to remain home with your three pre-teen kids I suspect leaves you al but zapped of any extra energy, expendable income or creative enterprising time. You may just have to hunker down for a bit here and make your discontentment a catalyst to consider and work toward creating long-term career/income options as your children become less dependent.

Regardless, it is important that you are working toward allowing God to more adequately meet your needs as you put Him first in your priorities and family goals. Perhaps talk to your priest, do some explorations of career options, buy a book on discernment to help filter through discerment of God’s will and provision for your family, let God personally speak to you through His scripture promises, commit yourself to daily personal and couple prayer, and a men’s fellowship is always a plus. My :twocents:.

 

[Ham1]

Keep looking for a new job that will pay you more and provide a more enjoyable atmosphere.

Consider looking at alternative career paths. What skills could transfer to other areas of business?

Most importantly, pray specifically to St. Joseph. Say this 30 days Prayer to St. Joseph:

ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/thirtydayjoseph.htm

Say it with your wife everyday. Don’t stop after 30 days. We said it for 5 years. We usually alternate paragraphs (you say the first, she says the 2nd, and so on…).

 

[Al_Masetti]

Mirror Mirror:

I am a CPA candidate, but I am not sure that I want to stay with accounting. I may want to switch careers and am discerning that right now. Also, in order to take the CPA I would have to have time to do that which that is very scarce right now. With working 2 jobs, it takes me away from the house 3 nights out of the week, every Saturday night and every other Sunday night. This is aside from the 40 hours I work at my FT job.

I have a Father and Son’s program that my son (7) and I are part of one night a week, that leaves one free night for family time. It is really hard. I really feel like I am letting down my family, not giving enough quality time.

I have thought about getting my CPA, but without time to study or even the money to pay for the registration, it is tough. Ya know?

Most of the people I have worked with over the years went back to school and got one or two masters degrees plus various professional certificates and credentials. In addition, continuing education is also essential.

Most folks also seemed to put in 50 hours a week on the job, plus 10 hours commuting. Except when there is travel involved… airline travel… departing sometimes on Sunday afternoon and return late Friday/ early Saturday.

Unless someone has a strong entrepreneurial orientation, further education seems to be pretty much essential. It is a lifetime situation. Never ending.

Those folks who developed their own businesses put in even more hours. It could be flipping houses or starting with one house and building up a “portfolio” of ten houses. Or an ebay retail business. And even lots of hours is no guarantee of success. But success does require a tremendous effort.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Ham1:

Keep looking for a new job that will pay you more and provide a more enjoyable atmosphere.

Consider looking at alternative career paths. What skills could transfer to other areas of business?

Most importantly, pray specifically to St. Joseph. Say this 30 days Prayer to St. Joseph:

ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/thirtydayjoseph.htm

Say it with your wife everyday. Don’t stop after 30 days. We said it for 5 years. We usually alternate paragraphs (you say the first, she says the 2nd, and so on…).

Ham,

Thanks for this post! I really appreciate it. I think that I have some management, sales and people skills that I can use in a new position. My biggest sale is myself and trying to show someone that although I am an accountant by education, I can do these other jobs.

I REALLY appreciate the novena. I am going to start this today. Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[dulcissima]

Spend the time to really think about what it is that you want to do. Don’t just chase a paycheck or a salary. The people that I know who are really successful took a risk and are doing what they love.

I know a lot of people don’t find accounting to be all that fulfilling. My uncle was a CPA working for Arthur Anderson way back when, got fed up, and decided to move to Napa because wine was his passion. He found a job as controller of a large winery, and eventually became president. When it was sold to a major conglomerate, he became a senior executive. He was making good money but hating it by then. Well, he just turned 50 and quit his job and bought his own winery. He is living his dream, and good for him. His wife is his partner, by the way.

My husband has always loved music and always worked in the music business, even though at first there wasn’t there wasn’t much money in it. I always encouraged him that the money wasn’t so important, it was more important to do what he loved. Good decision too, he makes a great salary and always has headhunters chasing him.

We even have a friend who didn’t go to college, he was just really into riding bikes. His dad was angry with him that he would amount to nothing. Not so. He started his own sport, free style BMX, his own bicycle company that he sold in the 80’s to a larger manufacturer. Now he runs several small businesses, is financially well off, and has unlimited freedom.

I know it is harder to make a big leap when you have a family to support, but in some ways, they can be a great motivation for you. Try to think about what your dream is. Pick your “spot on the wall” then figure out what steps it takes to get from where you are to where you want to be. Talk it over with your wife. She can encourage you and give you the support that you need emotionally. Maybe she can even help take over some of the more tedious burdens of the job you have now, if there is anything that can be done from home. I am a stay at home mom, but I always help my husband brainstorm, write marketing plans and product development reports, do his expense reports, etc. so that he can be free to get more done at work without paperwork bogging him down.

Whatever it is that you want, don’t for get to pray, and trust in God.

"It is Jesus who speaks: ‘Amen I say to you, ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and it shall be opened to you.’

Pray! In what human venture can you have greater guarantee of success?" St Josemaria Escriva

 

[Island_Oak]

I would strongly encourage you to obtain the professional credentials you lack. I know if seems like piling on an added burden to your already limited time, but it is something that can be accomplished in a relatively short time (2 years or less) and which will likey provide a life-long improvement in your career options and earning potential.

Sometimes the most frustrating thing is not being too busy, but feeling like you’re in a rut. Making a plan and pursuing it may actually make you more engaged and encouraged by your career than holding in your current pattern. The one thing that is absolutely required is the support and cooperation of your spouse. It will be as much of a challenge for her as you and it needs to be understood that once you take this on, you are both committed until you reach your goal.

We did this when our kids were 3 1/2, 2 and a newborn. It was a 2 year process (in our case my husband was trying to change careers from tax work in one of the big-5 accounting firms into business) while my husband completed his MBA. He left his old firm to take job at a firm which agreed to put him through one of the top programs in the country. We had to move, he was working full-time (can I tell you how much I hated tax season!!) and attending a very demanding academic institution which his employer was paying for (so he had the added stress of being accountable not only to his family, but a firm).

We barely saw him during the two years it took for him to complete the degree. The two of us have never worked so hard, yet with the support of some wonderful friends who I just know the good Lord put in our path we made it through and I can’t tell you how gratified we are we made that temporary sacrifice and took advantage of the opportunity that came our way. It has paid off in spades and dramatically improved his career satisfaction, income and options.

 

[dulcissima]

Mirror Mirror:

Ham,

Thanks for this post! I really appreciate it. I think that I have some management, sales and people skills that I can use in a new position. My biggest sale is myself and trying to show someone that although I am an accountant by education, I can do these other jobs.

I REALLY appreciate the novena. I am going to start this today. Thanks for the encouragement.

That is great. I would encourage you to go after a job in sales. You will find that you don’t have to put up with tiny raises when you are in sales, because you “worth” is self-evident in the amount of business you bring in. A lot of people look down on sales as a profession, but sales managers are some of the most well compensated individuals in an organization.

It can be a particularly fulfilling job if you work in an industry where you can build long-term relationships with your clients. I know that it is always rewarding to be able to figure out that right win-win combination that leads to your client saying yes to your proposal.

 

[Ham1]

Mirror Mirror:

Ham,

Thanks for this post! I really appreciate it. I think that I have some management, sales and people skills that I can use in a new position. My biggest sale is myself and trying to show someone that although I am an accountant by education, I can do these other jobs.

I REALLY appreciate the novena. I am going to start this today. Thanks for the encouragement.

The enthusiasm you expressed in this post is one of your greatest assets…use it!

Looking for a job should be a fun and exciting experience. Just imagine how much your life could improve in 6 months if you find the right job. Doors are opening up for you. Also, looking for a job doesn’t take nearly as much time as it used to - thanks to the internet!

Sales is good profession to make good money. It’s been my career path for 10 years. The tough thing is that some sales jobs are really not much fun. Also, it is very hard to get someone to hire you in a sales position without at least a few years of experience. Unless you like hard-core cold-calling sales, look for more account management based, relationship selling jobs. Try searching for “indirect” or “channel” sales positions.

The 30 days prayer REALLY works.

 

[1ke]

Mirror Mirror:

I received my raise at my current job and let me tell you that it is far beyond pathetic. I am at my whits end with this job and cannot take it much longer.

A few things come to mind… Is everyone receiving the same small increase at your company, either across the board or in your department? This could indicate the company is in financial difficulty. It may not be the accounting field but it may be your company specifically. It may be time to look at other companies (would you consider relocating to a different city with more income potential?) to find a different accounting job.

Talk to your boss-- have you discussed your disappointment at receiving a small increase? Have you discussed your performance and what specifically you can do to merit a larger increase? Have you discussed your situation based on your contribution to the company (not that you need more $ for home/bills)? Perhaps unknowingly your performance at your primary job has suffered because you have stretched yourself so thin at your other job?

Now, if you dislike accounting, yes, it’s time to seriously pursue a different career. Go to a career counseling service, maybe your church can recommend something?
Mirror Mirror:

Not only do I have to deal with this at work, but it has frustrated my wife and she is wanting me to get a new job. Therefore I am not happy at my job and when I go home I feel as if I have let my family down. My wife gets mad and she has every right to and it makes me feel even worse.

Here I have to disagree. You are busting your butt so your wife can stay at home, and I do not think it is appropriate for her to make your homelife frustrating and to get “mad” at you or the situation. She should be supportive in every way, and you should not be made to feel like you’ve let your family down. Has she considered things she can do in-home to bring in a little extra money? Even selling things on e-Bay can bring in extra money from things in the attic, toys the kids don’t play with anymore, etc. She could do in-home daycare for just one child and bring home a couple of hundred dollars a month. It’s time she got creative and gave you support.
Mirror Mirror:

My head is just spinning in circles and I cannot think straight. I want to find a new job and have been trying for over 9 months with no success. I know that I do not give it my all in finding a new job, but I have so much going on, I do not feel motivated.

Get focused through career counseling, and go to the book store or library and pick up some books on how to successfully change careers.
Mirror Mirror:

I am trying to do everything that I can to support the family financially by working 2 jobs (my wife stays at home with the kids) and sacrificing time with the family and sleep.

You are going to work yourself into an early grave at this rate. Sit down and look at your finances, and perhaps more income is the answer, but perhaps fewer expenses are. “Modest” is a vague term-- so I can’t make any recommendations. However, you might also read Dave Ramsey’s book Total Money Makeover, he does make some very valid points about how we look at money and our relationship with money. It could help your perspective.
Mirror Mirror:

Not to mention with tax season I will be helping my father (a CPA) with preparing tax returns for his clients.

Not to be harsh, but unless Dad is paying you to do this, then you need to decline to help this year. You sound like a nice guy who tries to please everyone, all the while driving yourself to do and do and do… STOP. Your dad will get by without you-- and he’s been lucky to have the help in past years. Honestly, unless you’re getting a really good payment for this you need to dump it. You don’t have the time or energy for one more thing.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Ham1:

The enthusiasm you expressed in this post is one of your greatest assets…use it!

Looking for a job should be a fun and exciting experience. Just imagine how much your life could improve in 6 months if you find the right job. Doors are opening up for you. Also, looking for a job doesn’t take nearly as much time as it used to - thanks to the internet!

Sales is good profession to make good money. It’s been my career path for 10 years. The tough thing is that some sales jobs are really not much fun. Also, it is very hard to get someone to hire you in a sales position without at least a few years of experience. Unless you like hard-core cold-calling sales, look for more account management based, relationship selling jobs. Try searching for “indirect” or “channel” sales positions.

The 30 days prayer REALLY works.

Thanks again for the advice. I actually talked to a guy today about insurance sales and another about health insurance sales. The first would involve writing policies and the such, the second will deal with existing clients. I will be getting a call back from the second one later today as I was busy when he called.

Anyhow, your posts are inspiring and show me that there is hope, it is just (right now) hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I will start the novena soon!

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

1ke:

A few things come to mind… Is everyone receiving the same small increase at your company, either across the board or in your department? This could indicate the company is in financial difficulty. It may not be the accounting field but it may be your company specifically. It may be time to look at other companies (would you consider relocating to a different city with more income potential?) to find a different accounting job.

Yes everyone is receiving the same small bonus and this has been going on even before I took the job here. Trust me when I say that the company is not strapped for cash, they have the money coming out of their ears. They are very well known. It is not the company, it is just the department. And they are very slow about promoting within. I think that it is time for a change of scenery

1ke:

Talk to your boss-- have you discussed your disappointment at receiving a small increase? Have you discussed your performance and what specifically you can do to merit a larger increase? Have you discussed your situation based on your contribution to the company (not that you need more $ for home/bills)? Perhaps unknowingly your performance at your primary job has suffered because you have stretched yourself so thin at your other job?

They are aware of it, but there is nothing that they can do. It comes from the “higher ups” and it is basically a take it or leave it mentality. I know what I can do, but is it worth putting in all that effort to get another measly 1%? My performance here is pretty steady and I do not feel that job #2 has affected it.

1ke:

Now, if you dislike accounting, yes, it’s time to seriously pursue a different career. Go to a career counseling service, maybe your church can recommend something?

I may look into this, but again, it is a time factor.

1ke:

Here I have to disagree. You are busting your butt so your wife can stay at home, and I do not think it is appropriate for her to make your homelife frustrating and to get “mad” at you or the situation. She should be supportive in every way, and you should not be made to feel like you’ve let your family down. Has she considered things she can do in-home to bring in a little extra money? Even selling things on e-Bay can bring in extra money from things in the attic, toys the kids don’t play with anymore, etc. She could do in-home daycare for just one child and bring home a couple of hundred dollars a month. It’s time she got creative and gave you support.

I understand what you are saying and agree that more encouragement would be beneficial and would probably give me a better attitude. Unfortunately, when there are no interviews or any contact from future employers she gets frustrated. I am sure that being at home like a “single mom” can get tiring. Again, it is jsut wearing on both of us and I cannot wait for a change.

1ke:

You are going to work yourself into an early grave at this rate.

One foot in already only kidding

1ke:

Not to be harsh, but unless Dad is paying you to do this, then you need to decline to help this year. You sound like a nice guy who tries to please everyone, all the while driving yourself to do and do and do… STOP. Your dad will get by without you-- and he’s been lucky to have the help in past years. Honestly, unless you’re getting a really good payment for this you need to dump it. You don’t have the time or energy for one more thing.

Yes dad pays me to work for him. He is very flexible, lets me work out of my home and is not very strict. The money that I get from him is very beneficial and comes in handy. The good part is that I can make my own hours and do what I need to at home. I am going to cut back waiting tables during tax season so that I can work for him a little bit more.

Again I appreciate ALL the advice and will look at it again and reflect on it. Thank you for taking the time to post this, I knew that coming here would be encouraging and would lift my spirits today.

 

[Bubbas_Dad]

Mirror…
I read your initial post and thought I could simply re-post it and sign my name! I certainly empathis with you and your situation. I too am looking to make a career change. I work at an insurance company, and recently obtained my MBA… whew, glad thats over. But soon my student loans will come due… I would like to do other types of work as well, and am having similar difficulty in getting people to see that my skill set and experience is highly transferable…

Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers while I go through this too! Quick comment on insurance sales… you will be very busy. I know a lot of agents that make very handsome livings… however, if you are to get to that point, be prepared to put in your time.

Best of luck, and keep us up to date.

Bubba’s Dad

 

[1ke]

Mirror Mirror:

Yes everyone is receiving the same small bonus and this has been going on even before I took the job here. Trust me when I say that the company is not strapped for cash, they have the money coming out of their ears. They are very well known. It is not the company, it is just the department. And they are very slow about promoting within. I think that it is time for a change of scenery

Then it’s time for a full court press-- get out and get a new job. I know you say it’s time to look, responses not forthcoming, etc. But, I wonder how much of this is the inertia that we all have when we have a job-- that fear of the unknown that causes us to drag our feet just a little more than we should because it’s the easier path to stay put.

You know the company will not change. You know your bosses will not go up the chain of command and fight where they should fight. So-- you need to move out.

Like Nike says-- JUST DO IT.
Mirror Mirror:

I understand what you are saying and agree that more encouragement would be beneficial and would probably give me a better attitude. Unfortunately, when there are no interviews or any contact from future employers she gets frustrated. I am sure that being at home like a “single mom” can get tiring. Again, it is jsut wearing on both of us and I cannot wait for a change.

I understand, but again I think it would be worth your while to see what kinds of things she can do to bring in money-- having a garage sale, selling on eBay, putting one of her skills to work, or just keeping a child in the home as a part time gig-- these are all things she can do to bring in just enough to relieve the pressure and allow you that time/focus you need to get going and get a new job.
Mirror Mirror:

Yes dad pays me to work for him. He is very flexible, lets me work out of my home and is not very strict. The money that I get from him is very beneficial and comes in handy. The good part is that I can make my own hours and do what I need to at home. I am going to cut back waiting tables during tax season so that I can work for him a little bit more.

Well this is good to know-- it’s good income so that is at least something.
Mirror Mirror:

Again I appreciate ALL the advice and will look at it again and reflect on it. Thank you for taking the time to post this, I knew that coming here would be encouraging and would lift my spirits today.

Remember, walking 100 miles begins with the first step. Don’t look at all the obstacles along the way-- just look at the immediate thing-- getting resumes together, getting them sent out. Call a recruiter and your college alumni association. Network and find out the job market in your area, possible leads, etc. Do the immediate things and the rest will come-- you’ll get 0% of the jobs you don’t apply for!!!

 

[1ke]

Mirror Mirror-- While doing some searches for a project at work, I came across this website that might help you examine/plan a career change.

It’s www.mindtools.com and specifically their section on a personal SWOT analysis and their “Design Your Life” program.

mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm

Good luck!

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

1ke:

Mirror Mirror-- While doing some searches for a project at work, I came across this website that might help you examine/plan a career change.

It’s www.mindtools.com and specifically their section on a personal SWOT analysis and their “Design Your Life” program.

mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm

Good luck!

1ke,

Many thanks to you for this post. Thanks a million for posting this site. I am going to look into this as soon as I have a chance. I really appreciate it.

That is awesome that you thought of this post while you were doing research at work. Hopefully I will have a chance to look into this real soon. Thanks again for your advice and your help. You are in my prayers.

 

[Al_Masetti]

ON THE OTHER HAND… one time I was in a situation where people weren’t getting raises, and etc. So I went through all sorts of hoops and got a better paying job else where.

THEN my old company decided to raise the salaries. I’m guessing that when I jumped they decided to act to pre-empt other people from doing the same.

So, one possibility is to be very Machivilian… “encourage” someone else to make a move… if the employer is otherwise ok, such a move might trigger pay increases for the folks remaining behind.

Are other employees complaining and grumbling about their pay?

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Al Masetti:

Are other employees complaining and grumbling about their pay?

Every single say. This is an ongoing problem that has been brought up continuously in focus groups and round table discussions, but no one will do anything about it. It is like going to the Eifel Tower and trying to push it over 2 feet by yourself.