Raising Catholic Children / Struggles

[katesmom]

Hi, Im not sure where to post this?

I am mother to two great kids (ages 9 & 12) Both my children are baptized and have had their first communion. I, on the other hand am a baptized Catholic, but have never received First Communion, Confirmation. As an adult I always intended to received these sacraments, but have not done so yet. I do not go to church regularly I have a strong understanding of the Catholic Faith. Ive learned a lot on these forums and listening to Catholic Radio and reading. I really love the Faith. Its beautiful, complete and I know its where I want me and my family to be. I am married to a wonderful man & he is not Catholic. He believes in God, but has not been too involved in any of the faith formation/spiritual direction with the children. Im the sole parent trying to raise my kids Catholic and I think Im failing

I have now enrolled my 12 year old in 7th Grade Junior Youth Ministry at our Parish. The church offers it to 6th ,7th & 8th graders… She did not attend last year. In fact this is her first church class since she received First Communion… She tells me she is the only 7th grader that is new and everyone is friends from last year. She is the only new kid I guess?? She also said the two Catechists are very strict and no one laughed, had fun or participated in the classes? Oh boy… I called the JYM director to explain my situation and to request homeschool Faith Formation so my daughter and I are on this journey together. He suggested that I get myself to RCIA and continue to have her attend these classes so that she has friends to share her faith with. Great suggestions, but I think my daughter is already not interested in going back.

She is really struggling to even go to these classes and I really blame myself. I know I need to go to Mass to deepen our faith. I really need prayer for both of us and my family. Thank you. Also any advice is appreciated!!

 

[Katherine438]

RCIA is a great program … I was a practicing Catholic when I married my husband 35 years ago … he had no religion … once our daughter was ready for Confirmation classes,my husband spoke to a priest for the first time … well he was one great priest and had my husband signed up for RCIA classes pretty quickly … worked out that my daughter and he did the journey together … she going toward Confirmation … and him going toward conversion to the faith … it was a beautiful experience.

So I tend to agree with your director … join the RCIA program and keep your daughter enrolled in her program … she will find her way … I would also add that you should take your children to Mass with you every week … when your daughter sees that you are serious about this, she will become more serious also.

Best of luck to you on your path and may God Bless you and your family.

 

[Catholic1954]

Your daughter needs to continue going to class. She will eventually make friends, but the instruction is more important to her future life than laughing and having fun. Make it a priority to attend Mass, with your children EVERY week, with or without your husband. When he sees you are more serious and committed to your faith he will want to join you, some day. RCIA sounds like a great fit for you, you will learn a lot and have the support of other Catholic parents.

 

[Irishmom2]

I think that you should first start attending mass with your children. Make an appointment with the priest at the church and see about beginning RCIA. If you want to make your communion and be confirmed, that is where you need to begin.

As far as your children, they both should be attending some sort of faith formation classes. It isn’t something you do to make first communion then quit until it’s time for confirmation time. They should be going as long as they are in school if possible, even after confirmation. Again, speak to someone in the parish office. I have no idea what junior youth ministry is, or if that is the class, but speak to someone and tell your daughter that she needs to continue.

You and your children, by your example, may still lead your husband to the church one day.

 

[pianistclare]

I think that you should first start attending mass with your children. Make an appointment with the priest at the church and see about beginning RCIA. If you want to make your communion and be confirmed, that is where you need to begin.

As far as your children, they both should be attending some sort of faith formation classes. It isn’t something you do to make first communion then quit until it’s time for confirmation time. They should be going as long as they are in school if possible, even after confirmation. Again, speak to someone in the parish office. I have no idea what junior youth ministry is, or if that is the class, but speak to someone and tell your daughter that she needs to continue.

You and your children, by your example, may still lead your husband to the church one day.

Yes. And it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know anyone. This is common. Our parish serves 6 different schools in 3 districts. Lots of kids don’t know one another, but they are fast friend by the end of the year.
Welcome home!

 

[jmcrae]

Hi, Im not sure where to post this?

I am mother to two great kids (ages 9 & 12) Both my children are baptized and have had their first communion. I, on the other hand am a baptized Catholic, but have never received First Communion, Confirmation. As an adult I always intended to received these sacraments, but have not done so yet. I do not go to church regularly I have a strong understanding of the Catholic Faith. Ive learned a lot on these forums and listening to Catholic Radio and reading. I really love the Faith. Its beautiful, complete and I know its where I want me and my family to be. I am married to a wonderful man & he is not Catholic. He believes in God, but has not been too involved in any of the faith formation/spiritual direction with the children. Im the sole parent trying to raise my kids Catholic and I think Im failing

I have now enrolled my 12 year old in 7th Grade Junior Youth Ministry at our Parish. The church offers it to 6th ,7th & 8th graders… She did not attend last year. In fact this is her first church class since she received First Communion… She tells me she is the only 7th grader that is new and everyone is friends from last year. She is the only new kid I guess?? She also said the two Catechists are very strict and no one laughed, had fun or participated in the classes? Oh boy… I called the JYM director to explain my situation and to request homeschool Faith Formation so my daughter and I are on this journey together. He suggested that I get myself to RCIA and continue to have her attend these classes so that she has friends to share her faith with. Great suggestions, but I think my daughter is already not interested in going back.

She is really struggling to even go to these classes and I really blame myself. I know I need to go to Mass to deepen our faith. I really need prayer for both of us and my family. Thank you. Also any advice is appreciated!!

I have led children’s and teen’s programs in the past - it may be as simple as to mention to the adults in charge that your daughter is finding it challenging to fit in with the other girls, and they can mention to the girls to be welcoming to your daughter and try to be her friend. Meanwhile, you can invite your daughter to try smiling at the other kids and saying “hello” to them when there is an opportunity, to show that she is a nice person and would be a good friend for them to have.

See about getting your younger child into faith formation classes as well, since it’s very important to be receiving religious instruction throughout one’s whole life, and not only while preparing to receive a Sacrament.

Speak with the priest and find out how adult Catholics receive the rest of their Sacraments of Initiation at your parish, and also look into whether you need to have your marriage blessed.

Meanwhile, make sure you and your kids get to Mass every Sunday. Remember that liking it is not the point. Being convenient is not the point. Showing up is the point, and being present is the point. Much like eating bitter vegetables, or studying Mathematics, being at Mass each Sunday is good for us, even when it isn’t necessarily pleasant or convenient. We don’t go to Mass to be entertained, but rather, to offer up our lives to Jesus, who gave His life for us.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

Hi, Im not sure where to post this?

I am mother to two great kids (ages 9 & 12) Both my children are baptized and have had their first communion. I, on the other hand am a baptized Catholic, but have never received First Communion, Confirmation. As an adult I always intended to received these sacraments, but have not done so yet. I do not go to church regularly I have a strong understanding of the Catholic Faith. Ive learned a lot on these forums and listening to Catholic Radio and reading. I really love the Faith. Its beautiful, complete and I know its where I want me and my family to be. I am married to a wonderful man & he is not Catholic. He believes in God, but has not been too involved in any of the faith formation/spiritual direction with the children. Im the sole parent trying to raise my kids Catholic and I think Im failing

I have now enrolled my 12 year old in 7th Grade Junior Youth Ministry at our Parish. The church offers it to 6th ,7th & 8th graders… She did not attend last year. In fact this is her first church class since she received First Communion… She tells me she is the only 7th grader that is new and everyone is friends from last year. She is the only new kid I guess?? She also said the two Catechists are very strict and no one laughed, had fun or participated in the classes? Oh boy… I called the JYM director to explain my situation and to request homeschool Faith Formation so my daughter and I are on this journey together. He suggested that I get myself to RCIA and continue to have her attend these classes so that she has friends to share her faith with. Great suggestions, but I think my daughter is already not interested in going back.

She is really struggling to even go to these classes and I really blame myself. I know I need to go to Mass to deepen our faith. I really need prayer for both of us and my family. Thank you. Also any advice is appreciated!!

You are doing just fine. You are trying and looking for help!

Is your church on the large size? Sometimes kids get lost in the larger groups. Let the Catechist know and they will help. You might want to even go for coffee with your child’s teacher. I often go out to coffee with new parents and I love hearing about their faith journey and what brings them here.

Check to see if you can help in the class, that way both of you can learn at the same time and most catechist love an extra hand! Also, bringing in treats for the class works wonders. You will be the cool mom and it will trickle down to your children. Just an idea that worked for me in our many moves.

If all else fails, remember you are the primary teacher of your child and you can do it at your home, but TRY to work with the church. In the long run, I think it will pay off.

And of course go to Mass weekly. The more you learn about the Mass the more beautiful it becomes…try the website dynamic catholic for some great easy to read resources.

Feel free to PM me with any concerns. I have a 13 year old too so I get it.

Best of luck on you journey.

 

[pianistclare]

I have led children’s and teen’s programs in the past - it may be as simple as to mention to the adults in charge that your daughter is finding it challenging to fit in with the other girls, and they can mention to the girls to be welcoming to your daughter and try to be her friend. Meanwhile, you can invite your daughter to try smiling at the other kids and saying “hello” to them when there is an opportunity, to show that she is a nice person and would be a good friend for them to have.

See about getting your younger child into faith formation classes as well, since it’s very important to be receiving religious instruction throughout one’s whole life, and not only while preparing to receive a Sacrament.

Speak with the priest and find out how adult Catholics receive the rest of their Sacraments of Initiation at your parish, and also look into whether you need to have your marriage blessed.

Meanwhile, make sure you and your kids get to Mass every Sunday. Remember that liking it is not the point. Being convenient is not the point. Showing up is the point, and being present is the point. Much like eating bitter vegetables, or studying Mathematics, being at Mass each Sunday is good for us, even when it isn’t necessarily pleasant or convenient. We don’t go to Mass to be entertained, but rather, to offer up our lives to Jesus, who gave His life for us.

Yes excellent response.

 

[katesmom]

Thank you for the responses everyone!! I am praying about this and I appreciate the advice.