Raising my Catholic children in the Orthodox Church

[Ortho_truth]

Hi all,

Firstly, I should mention I was christened Ukrainian Catholic but my parents and I ‘converted’ to the OCA when I was quite young.

I married a RC seven years ago (in a RC church), and we now have three children that we chose to baptize in a RC church as well.

We are now in a situation where we have found a perfect spiritual home for us, however the church is Greek Orthodox, thus I can (in theory) receive all the Holy Mysteries while no one else in my family can.

While this is not especially problematic for my wife, as she is marginally Catholic at best and prefers simply finding a ‘good church’ regardless of denomination, I’m wondering how to approach this issue with regards to our children. I don’t want to confuse them or do the wrong thing here. Can we simply continue attending with them simply not receiving the sacraments? Is this a ‘weird’ way of raising our children, and should we feel compelled to raise them in the RCC? Should we let them decide when they are old enough to make the decision (and when should this be - they are very young now)? I want to do the best thing for them both religiously AND in terms of where best we all fit in and feel comfortable.

Thanks!

 

[1ke]

I would encourage you to talk to your Catholic pastor and the pastor of the Greek Orthodox Church you want to attend, and receive counsel from both of them. Perhaps even bringing all parties together to discuss the situation.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

Hi all,

Firstly, I should mention I was christened Ukrainian Catholic but my parents and I ‘converted’ to the OCA when I was quite young.

I married a RC seven years ago (in a RC church), and we now have three children that we chose to baptize in a RC church as well.

We are now in a situation where we have found a perfect spiritual home for us, however the church is Greek Orthodox, thus I can (in theory) receive all the Holy Mysteries while no one else in my family can.

While this is not especially problematic for my wife, as she is marginally Catholic at best and prefers simply finding a ‘good church’ regardless of denomination, I’m wondering how to approach this issue with regards to our children. I don’t want to confuse them or do the wrong thing here. Can we simply continue attending with them simply not receiving the sacraments? Is this a ‘weird’ way of raising our children, and should we feel compelled to raise them in the RCC? Should we let them decide when they are old enough to make the decision (and when should this be - they are very young now)? I want to do the best thing for them both religiously AND in terms of where best we all fit in and feel comfortable.

Thanks!

I mean, obviously, the official RCC stance would be that you need to be attending a RCC and that this is not the correct way to raise your children spiritually.

My opinion is that the Greek Orthodox Church has a beautiful faith that is very close to Catholic. I would personally get your children enrolled in their religious education program, so that they can receive sacraments. If you are going to attend that church, you might as well go all in.

 

[Fuerza]

Your perspective will obviously be different form mince since you have been raised Orthodox from a young age, but a child baptized in the Catholic Church should be raised in the Catholic faith. You should speak with a priest about this, perhaps an Eastern Catholic priest who would have a better understanding of Eastern spirituality. Strangers on a forum can give suggestions, but a Catholic priest would be best for more definitive answers.

 

[Casilda]

I mean, obviously, the official RCC stance would be that you need to be attending a RCC …

I agree with 1ke and Fuerza that you need to talk to the priests.

The above statement is not true. You are canonically a Ukrainian Catholic, not a Roman Catholic.

 

[peter26]

The beliefs of the Orthodox Church and the Catholic Church (especially for a Ukrainian Catholic like you) are almost identical. I would say go where you feel comfortable and ensure your children get the necessary sacraments wherever that is.

 

[Ortho_truth]

Thanks for the responses.

I understand the raising our children in a RCC is what we should do. Can we please all agree however that most RC churches now provide no sense of community or opportunity to develop connections with fellow parishioners? We have struggled a lot with that, hence our desire to begin going to a GOC.

As for the Ukrainian Catholic church, I can only speak to our experience attending one: we felt excluded for not being Ukrainian, did not feel welcomed, and dealt with judgmental parishioners shaking their heads and rolling their eyes for letting our special needs kids walk around a bit during liturgy. In our current Greek church, parishioners are MUCH more easy-going and welcoming.

I will speak to the priest. Thanks again.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

I agree with 1ke and Fuerza that you need to talk to the priests.

The above statement is not true. You are canonically a Ukrainian Catholic, not a Roman Catholic.

Ok, should have been more specific…a RCC (as wife and children are baptized in) or an Eastern Rite that is in communion with Rome. The Greek Orthodox Church is not considered to be in communion with Rome.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

Thanks for the responses.

I understand the raising our children in a RCC is what we should do. Can we please all agree however that most RC churches now provide no sense of community or opportunity to develop connections with fellow parishioners? We have struggled a lot with that, hence our desire to begin going to a GOC.

As for the Ukrainian Catholic church, I can only speak to our experience attending one: we felt excluded for not being Ukrainian, did not feel welcomed, and dealt with judgmental parishioners shaking their heads and rolling their eyes for letting our special needs kids walk around a bit during liturgy. In our current Greek church, parishioners are MUCH more easy-going and welcoming.

I will speak to the priest. Thanks again.

I have certainly been to RCCs that feel “cold” as far as the sense of community goes. At one point, I was driving to a Catholic Church a half hour away rather than the one in my backyard for this reason.

 

[Fuerza]

Thanks for the responses.

I understand the raising our children in a RCC is what we should do. Can we please all agree however that most RC churches now provide no sense of community or opportunity to develop connections with fellow parishioners? We have struggled a lot with that, hence our desire to begin going to a GOC.

As for the Ukrainian Catholic church, I can only speak to our experience attending one: we felt excluded for not being Ukrainian, did not feel welcomed, and dealt with judgmental parishioners shaking their heads and rolling their eyes for letting our special needs kids walk around a bit during liturgy. In our current Greek church, parishioners are MUCH more easy-going and welcoming.

I will speak to the priest. Thanks again.

I’m sorry you had that experience. Are there no other Eastern Catholic Churches in your area? Another Ukrainian one, or perhaps even a Ruthenian or Maronite? The Ruthenian Church, at least in the US, is now much less of an ethnic church and one will find parishioners of various backgrounds. While the Maronite Church is predominantly Lebanese, one will also find a wide variety of ethnic groups in their parishes. The Maronite parish in my area has quite a few Irish names listed in the staff directory.

 

[1ke]

Can we please all agree however that most RC churches now provide no sense of community or opportunity to develop connections with fellow parishioners?

I don’t believe we can. Because that is certainly not true universally. It is not my personal experience in the Catholic Church.

We have struggled a lot with that, hence our desire to begin going to a GOC.

I am very sorry to hear that.

As for the Ukrainian Catholic church, I can only speak to our experience attending one: we felt excluded for not being Ukrainian, did not feel welcomed, and dealt with judgmental parishioners shaking their heads and rolling their eyes for letting our special needs kids walk around a bit during liturgy. In our current Greek church, parishioners are MUCH more easy-going and welcoming.

I will speak to the priest. Thanks again.

And I am very sorry to hear that as well. Sad indeed.