Rant Alert - Mass Etiquette

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What happened to basic etiquette at Mass? This Sunday’s Mass was one where you would wonder what happened to people. It all started as I was kneeling and praying after I entered the pew. A “gentleman” sits in the pew in front of me and spreads his arms across the top of the pew and leans back as if he was home watching TV on his own couch. As he stretched out he accidentally hit my hands that were folded in prayer on the top of the pew. I sat back and continued to pray since he had taken over the pew. Then as I continued to pray he began to yell across the church to speak to a gentleman seated across the aisle from him. This conversation lasted until the processional hymn began. Then during the consecration of the blessed sacrament two cell phones went off. One just continued to ring and the other was loudly answered by its owner right in the middle of the consecration.

What has happened? Has basic etiquette gone the way of the dinosaurs? Have people forgotten that we are in the house of God and that should treat it with respect and we should use the time before Mass to prepare ourselves for the Mass?
 
I know what you mean. When I returned to the church some 6 years ago now I was shocked how much things had changed. People dressed down compared to what they used to do, people talked before and after Mass, few people kneeled for the consecration, people rarely genuflect upon entering/exiting the pew anymore, people leave before the priest has processed out at the end … Very different from when I was a child!
 
A Protestant told a priest that if he (The protestant) truely believed that Jesus was present on the altar in the Eucharist, he would be constantly kneeling and offering praise to God and coming to a Catholic church as often as he could. As belief in the “True Presence” has declined, so has etiquette.

Deacon Tony
 
Boy or Boy, I know what you mean! I went through something like that about a month ago. First of all, when you come to my Church, you will notice how quiet it is. Most of the time you can hear a pin drop. Well on this particular Sunday, there were two men and two women I had never seen before two rows ahead of me and to my left having a conversation that everyone in the Church could hear. It was going on when I arrived 20 minutes before Mass and did not stop until the bells rang for the entrance! Well there is a little elderly woman that sits on my pew but all the way down to the left(directly behind these people but two rows back, no one in between). Well she let out a big SHHHH! at least three different times and these people didn’t miss a beat and kept on chatting! It was very disturbing and was VERY hard to concentrate on prayer before Mass. These people looked to be in their late fifties to mid-sixties. Old enough to know better anyway! I never saw them after that so I assumed they were visiting from somewhere else, being it’s summertime . I thought that maybe they were not Catholic but they seemed to know the responses and went for Communion…anyway, that is one of my pet peeves when folks act like they are at Mass to socialize.:nope:
 
Deacon Tony560:
A Protestant told a priest that if he (The protestant) truely believed that Jesus was present on the altar in the Eucharist, he would be constantly kneeling and offering praise to God and coming to a Catholic church as often as he could. As belief in the “True Presence” has declined, so has etiquette.

Deacon Tony
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When my grandchildren and I genuflect upon entering the pew and leaving at the end of mass we always have people standing in front of us so we don’t get a clear view of the Tabernacle. They are not even polite enough to move as we are making the sign of the cross, and we always sit in the 4th pew from the front. What are these people thinking?
Will it ever go back to pre Vatican II?
maggiec
 
Sad. There seems to be something missing in today’s society. I belive that folks have fallen out of love with Jesus. I can remember as kids how it was so special to be in love with Jesus. We were so excited about going to Mass and other devotions. It must be difficult when someone loves his brothers and sisters as much as Jesus does and this love is not returned.

Deacon Tony
 
Its annoying in Mass with all the cell phones ringing. One of the priests told the congregation in his homily to turn the phones off. He said the only person whose phone could be on was his doctors (chuckle) provided he attended Mass in another parish
 
I don’t know how many times I’ve almost been run over while genuflecting after mass is over. Everyone is in such a rush to get out of the church so they can avoid the traffic, I guess. One of the latest things that happened had to do with modesty. A young girl, no older than about nine years old, was wearing such a short, short skirt (falling only a mere hand length below her hips). Her parents were with her; I don’t know why they didn’t dress her more appropriately. People need to keep in mind that at mass we are in the presence of the King. There are some good priests out there that will inform people to be more respectful; I’ve even heard of priests telling people to wear more clothing.
 
As the level of politeness in general declines in everyday life, so it declines at church. We see it reflected in the clothing people wear to Mass as well. I think part of the resurgence of the TLM is a reaction to barbarism and a desire to foster respect toward others and to God.

It’s tough to teach a child respect for anything when a kid two pews up is wearing a T-shirt adorned with an obscene phrase and nobody in authority seems to object.

Dressing like a thug for Mass may reveal a lot about what one thinks of Mass and of one’s fellow churchgoers.
 
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What happened to basic etiquette at Mass?

What has happened? Has basic etiquette gone the way of the dinosaurs? Have people forgotten that we are in the house of God and that should treat it with respect and we should use the time before Mass to prepare ourselves for the Mass?
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I’m an American , and Americans talk real loud, and swagger a bit. It’ll take a bit of training to get some etiquette to be commonplace here.

The previous generations of American Catholics were largely immigrants who brought old world manners with them. Apparently the current generation learnt more from their society than they did from their parents and grandparents.
 
I have been attending the TLM for about 14 years. In this time I have seen silence in church (along with genuflection) totally disappear from the average parish.

My children who have attend the TLM all their lives are totally horrified when going to a ‘normal’ mass. My son (of nine years) was outraged at the fact that the people who made the most noise were middle aged people. “But, Dad it was the adults not the kids talking in church.”

The thing about talking in church is that it destroys the sense of the sacred. The sense that the church is a place set apart from the normal is totally lost.

Chris ZA
 
Some parishes have taken to posting signs on the inner doors to the Church requesting that “respectful silence be observed.” It used to go without saying. Now, it has to be said.
 
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JimG:
Some parishes have taken to posting signs on the inner doors to the Church requesting that “respectful silence be observed.” It used to go without saying. Now, it has to be said.
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Sad but true.😦
 
I once told my children that they shouldn’t talk inside the church as people were trying to pray and that they should wait until they are outside after Mass. I told them that the assembly hall level noise inside was wrong. My daughter telle me, “But Mum, the priest is doing it!”. Well, I couldn’t argue with that could I? Lost battle.
 
It is truly a sad state of affairs. Sometimes I wonder if some people even know why they have come to church. It seems many come ‘because it is Sunday, we are supposed to go to church on Sunday’. Then they come dressed like they are heading to the beach or a picnic right from Mass. Those are bad enough, but the ones who come so provociatvely dressed are worse. They don’t understand it isn’t a fashion show! They also don’t understand that their lack of modesty can cause someone else to sin.

We also have had the unfortunate occassion where someone in front of us was conducting a loud conversation with the people next to them, so distracting that we could not concentrate on our rosary. Finally, my husband leaned forward and asked them to either ‘zip it or take it out to the vestibule where it belongs, you are in church and people come here to pray before Mass begins’. There was a bit of indignant huffing, but they shut up!

We must pray for these people that the Holy Spirit will hit them over the head 😃 so they realize what they are at church for. Offering gentle correction may help in some instances, but not in others. The best course of action would be for the parish priests to enforce silence and dress code, but most won’t for fear of ‘driving people away’. Pet peeve: ‘Jesus doesn’t care how I am dressed, as long as I come to Mass’. :mad:
 
I really don’t think V2 or the NO Mass has anything to do with anything. It’s the society we live in today. It doesn’t matter if the Mass is said in Latin or English the people would still be talking and having their cell phones going off no matter what. It’s a problem with the religious education and the society we live in.
 
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Kielbasi:
I’m an American , and Americans talk real loud, and swagger a bit. It’ll take a bit of training to get some etiquette to be commonplace here.

The previous generations of American Catholics were largely immigrants who brought old world manners with them. Apparently the current generation learnt more from their society than they did from their parents and grandparents.
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No.

The behavior and dress of Catholics has dropped dramatically in the past 35 years or so. In 1970 most US Catholics were not “largely immigrants who brought old world manners with them.”

Further, a great many Protestant sects in the USA exhibit far better manners and level of dress in today’s society at their services.
 
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Petertherock:
I really don’t think V2 or the NO Mass has anything to do with anything. It’s the society we live in today. It doesn’t matter if the Mass is said in Latin or English the people would still be talking and having their cell phones going off no matter what. It’s a problem with the religious education and the society we live in.
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I would suggest that manners and the dress code went into the toilet during the “hippie era” of the late 1960’s and early 1970’s. I would further suggest that more than a few people in charge of the Church in the USA are products of that era and they like things just as they are today…
 
Etiquette in church has gone out the windo.

I agree with all those of you who speak of the aisle being blocked whilst one goes to genuflect. I nearly get run over - I usually sit in the last seat of the first half of the church, so I wait until all those in front of me have left and then I leave my seat - people seem to be in such a rush, it’s a wonder they can spare the time to go to Mass.

Also, on the topic of mobile phones - a few Sunday’s ago in the midst of the Gospel, someones mobile went off, it kept ringing and ringing, I could hear that it was directly behind me, so I turned slightly to see a man with his head in his hands, totally embarassed, yet he continued to stand there and not turn the phone off - it had a really loud shrilling noise as well - also, our church is never that full, so there’s quite an echo. Anywho, the ringing eventually stopped and either the man in question turned off his phone or the person on the other end just didn’t ring again. Then the time for the presentation of the gifts came - the priest usually asks for two volunteers to bring up the gifts - it usually ends up being those who are seated nearest to the gifts table at the middle of the church - this particularly Sunday, it happened to be the man whose mobile phone went off and his wife. Up they get to bring up the gifts. When they reach the Altar and give the Bread and Wine to the priest, the guy had a giggle about it with the Parish Priest - I was absoloutely and utterly appalled that such an instance should have occurred. It really left a sour taste in my mouth.

Now as I write I think of another instance. We have a Minister of the Word in our Church who has a young family. Very often he comes to Mass with his child, who is about three or four, on his own. The child is quite giddy and fidgety as one would expect of a child so young - however, even on the Sunday’s that this particular man is reading, he comes with just his three year old child, and brings her to the ambo whilst he is reading - we have two MoW and usually the other Mow has to sit with the child on their lap in the sactuary whilst the Daddy reads the reading or I have seen on occassion, when there has only been a need for one reader or only one reader was available, that the man would bring the child to the ambo and have the child in his arms whilst reading. Needless to say, the child woudl get restless and start pulling its Daddy’s hair or mumbling - very off putting. I am all for children being brought to Church, but in this instance, the man’s wife (who does attend Mass) should either come with him to sit with the kids or arrange to have someone look after the child, in teh congregation whilst he goes to read.
 
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maggiec:
When my grandchildren and I genuflect upon entering the pew and leaving at the end of mass we always have people standing in front of us so we don’t get a clear view of the Tabernacle. They are not even polite enough to move as we are making the sign of the cross, and we always sit in the 4th pew from the front. What are these people thinking?
Will it ever go back to pre Vatican II?
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What on earth does “pre Vatican II” have to do with anything here? Why are people supposed to move out of your way? Why are you entitled to a “clear view” of the tabernacle? Your expectation makes no sense to me.
 
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