Rape.

[Rainaldo]

Report it to police let them be the investigators and heroes.

You dont know for sure that what she claims, is a fact. You dont want to spread false info around until you know for sure. Let the cops do their thing.

 

[DarkLight]

Report it to police let them be the investigators and heroes.

You dont know for sure that what she claims, is a fact. You dont want to spread false info around until you know for sure. Let the cops do their thing.

If it’s anything like my experience - they don’t much care about rape cases. I reported eventually (I waited for a long time because I was afraid for my reputation) and got blown off.

 

[rdscheirer]

Is there an older brother or(even a father) that could confront the idiot and teach him the lessons of life

 

[CrimsonThorn]

Is there an older brother or(even a father) that could confront the idiot and teach him the lessons of life

How do you know for sure hes guilty?

What if he received a lesson/got beaten and was completely innocent?

Advocating this kind of approach is not only Non-Christian, but it shows you havent fully thought out the possibilities and the consequences.

 

[CrimsonThorn]

If it’s anything like my experience - they don’t much care about rape cases. I reported eventually (I waited for a long time because I was afraid for my reputation) and got blown off.

That is unfortunate, I would probably utilize my faith in God’s justice at that time and pray for the conclusion of the case. In the meantime Id focus also on comforting my friend, but i wouldnt try to seek out any kind of vigilante justice of my own.

 

[rfournier103]

Take Canuck’s advice. I’ve been in YOUR situation before, and to tell the truth; if she’s not interested in doing anything about it, you can’t make her. That’s really all there is to it.

 

[Allegra]

Unfortunately this really depends on the parents. I say this because someone told mine and it has caused nothing but grief for any of us. I truly regret having them involved.

That’s unfortunate. What would it have meant if your parents had handled the situtation appropriately, the police were informed, the criminal apprehended and kept from ever hurting anyone else again? At the very least, these parent need to know that they need to keep their daughter closer so something like this won’t happen again. She should also recieve counseling to help her cope with this ordeal. They can’t get that for her if they don’t know what’s going. Sexual assaults frequently trigger depression and self harm in young girls. (in anyone actually)

 

[Bruised_Reed]

My friend was recently the victim of a sexual assault. She confided in me the other day that while she was at a party, slightly drunk, she ended up alone with a guy. They eventually got intimate, and he took it too far after she had said no. Admittedly, she is not the most catholic person, as shown above. However, I still care about her and do not like the fact that she was assaulted.

I have had a few mini-confrontations with the guy before. Small ones. I saw him disrespect a girl verbally once, and so I spoke up. And then it happened again. And then this happened. He has no restraint or respect for women.

As a Christian in a public high school, what should I do in this situation? I am afraid that if nothing is done, he will do it again. My friend insists that she wants no action taken though.

I am not looking for vengeance, but simply for a way to protect others from what could be.

Thanks in advance for your advice,
Tyler.

God bless.

Check out RAINN.org and give your friend the information, too. She can talk to someone about what her options are legally, emotionally, etc. I would caution you about telling anyone without her permission but give her someone she can talk to. I’m not saying “absolutely don’t tell anyone” because I don’t have enough information. I believe you can get support at RAINN.org, too.

Check your school’s Student Handbook to see what it’s policy is regarding sexual assault. Do you know how it’s been handled in the past? It doesn’t always turn out well for victims no matter what the policy suggests it will do.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

That’s unfortunate. What would it have meant if your parents had handled the situtation appropriately, the police were informed, the criminal apprehended and kept from ever hurting anyone else again? At the very least, these parent need to know that they need to keep their daughter closer so something like this won’t happen again. She should also recieve counseling to help her cope with this ordeal. They can’t get that for her if they don’t know what’s going. Sexual assaults frequently trigger depression and self harm in young girls. (in anyone actually)

I don’t think that we know how old the friend is and the younger she is the more likely I am to agree that the parents need to know. However, the victim needs to decide. Parents reading this will think, “I need to know!” and if so I hope you are creating a relationship in which your child can tell you anything and know that you will not fly off the handle and so something stupid like

confront the idiot and teach him the lessons of life

and make it worse.

There is nothing parents can do to absolutly keep their daughters from being raped short of locking her in the house. I know too many women who were raped and the parent keeping their daughters closer would not have helped in any situation but one (the mom knew the relative’s reputation and still had that person live in the home and babysit.)

Telling a victim that reporting it will make it not happen again or that justice will be served is misleading. It may help, it should help, but a police officer, lawyer or advocate will not say it will because they don’t know if it will or not. In the large majority of cases the victim can do everything “right” (reporting immediately, not shower before an exam) and the case doesn’t even go to court, there is no arrest.

I wish every victim would report. I wish every victim would have the unwavering support of family, friends, school and community. I wish every case would result in justice and the rapist being punished according to the law. I wish women didn’t feel like every dark sidewalk or walking/being alone was an invitation to being assaulted. I wish articles on how to stop rape were directed at men not doing it instead of women being safer.

We have a long way to go.

 

[DarkLight]

That’s unfortunate. What would it have meant if your parents had handled the situtation appropriately, the police were informed, the criminal apprehended and kept from ever hurting anyone else again? At the very least, these parent need to know that they need to keep their daughter closer so something like this won’t happen again. She should also recieve counseling to help her cope with this ordeal. They can’t get that for her if they don’t know what’s going. Sexual assaults frequently trigger depression and self harm in young girls. (in anyone actually)

Honestly? I think the situation with my parents was messed up before this ever happened. Bruised Reed is right - it depends on the parents to make a relationship where their daughter can talk to them. My parents oscillated between being way overprotective and wondering why I wasn’t over it already.

 

[FaithBuild18]

While I’m in no position to offer advice on the situation, after you decide to do whatever you decide to do, I’d definitely take the opportunity to try to encourage your friend to avoid the kind of lifestyle that led her into that situation in the first place. You can start by asking her if she ever heard the story of a man named Jesus Christ

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I don’t think that we know how old the friend is and the younger she is the more likely I am to agree that the parents need to know. However, the victim needs to decide. Parents reading this will think, “I need to know!” and if so I hope you are creating a relationship in which your child can tell you anything and know that you will not fly off the handle and so something stupid like

confront the idiot and teach him the lessons of life

I’m sorry if saying this was stupid is harsh. Right now I’m not sure it is. I understand that it is said to blow off steam or show support but this is one of the reasons victims don’t want to tell their families and friends; they fear this reaction.

These links are about why pro-lifers have abortions but I think the dynamics are similar.

Part I: Introduction: Pro-life women, and daughters from pro-life families, do have abortions.

Part II: Families that don’t recover.

Part III: Rage, anger, contempt, scorn.

Part IV: Living In a Fishbowl

 

[epan]

My friend was recently the victim of a sexual assault. She confided in me the other day that while she was at a party, slightly drunk, she ended up alone with a guy. They eventually got intimate, and he took it too far after she had said no. Admittedly, she is not the most catholic person, as shown above. However, I still care about her and do not like the fact that she was assaulted.

I have had a few mini-confrontations with the guy before. Small ones. I saw him disrespect a girl verbally once, and so I spoke up. And then it happened again. And then this happened. He has no restraint or respect for women.

As a Christian in a public high school, what should I do in this situation? I am afraid that if nothing is done, he will do it again. My friend insists that she wants no action taken though.

I am not looking for vengeance, but simply for a way to protect others from what could be.

Thanks in advance for your advice,
Tyler.

God bless.

Who can your friend trust (besides you)?

Assuming that she is a minor, the best thing would be to tell her parents. She must get tested for STD’s. She has suffered very serious trauma, and could benefit from psychological support. She may not see this. But if her parents help her get the other medical care that she should have, then she will have the opportunity for more assistance. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR HER TO BE CHECKED FOR STD’s. Some of them have little or now symptoms, and the worst case is that she could end up sterile, and never have children. Statistically, this is a rare possibility. But it happens. It happened to a close friend of mine.

Your role, which you have already accepted, is to provide emotional support for your friend, and help her to think clearly where her judgement may be clouded by the trauma she has experienced.

Don’t neglect your own emotional, mental and spiritual health. Seek support in this situation from those whom you trust.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

While I’m in no position to offer advice on the situation, after you decide to do whatever you decide to do, I’d definitely take the opportunity to try to encourage your friend to avoid the kind of lifestyle that led her into that situation in the first place. You can start by asking her if she ever heard the story of a man named Jesus Christ

“…led her into the situation”? Is it her fault? Christians are never raped?

And what does the “” mean in this context?

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Who can your friend trust (besides you)?

Assuming that she is a minor, the best thing would be to tell her parents. She must get tested for STD’s. She has suffered very serious trauma, and could benefit from psychological support. She may not see this. But if her parents help her get the other medical care that she should have, then she will have the opportunity for more assistance. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR HER TO BE CHECKED FOR STD’s. Some of them have little or now symptoms, and the worst case is that she could end up sterile, and never have children. Statistically, this is a rare possibility. But it happens. It happened to a close friend of mine.

Your role, which you have already accepted, is to provide emotional support for your friend, and help her to think clearly where her judgement may be clouded by the trauma she has experienced.

Don’t neglect your own emotional, mental and spiritual health. Seek support in this situation from those whom you trust.

Minor victims need to know that they may be able to get counseling and treatment for STDs without their parents’ help. An advocate can make sure the county/city pays. I don’t know that this is available in all areas. not all parents will help their child get help and if they do try, they “force” help.

Yes, this means they can get abortions, so they need support:

Abortion Cures Rape
The Second Rape
Pregant by a Rapist?
AfterAbortion.org (keyword search)

Parents, be trustworthy and approachable.

 

[Agatha813]

I am a SANE nurse (sexual assault nurse examiner) Please tell your parents. Try to talk her into telling her parents. It’s never to late get an exam. There are many groups all over that can help her with councelling that she doesn’t even know she needs. She will need STD testing for sure.
God Bless. PM me if you wish further information.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. Should always begin with telling the parents and then doing what the poster mentioned above. Her mental and physical health are in a very fragile state right now and she needs help ASAP.

 

[oldcatholicguy]

If it’s anything like my experience - they don’t much care about rape cases. I reported eventually (I waited for a long time because I was afraid for my reputation) and got blown off.

Sad but too true.

 

[HumanCentipede]

I think I know your friend. I got drunk at a party, and we had sex.

 

[Jerry_Westerby]

…Admittedly, she is not the most catholic person, as shown above…

what, exactly, do you mean by that?

you seem to have assumed some responsibility for the girl, so if you believe a crime was committed, report it to the police. otherwise, you’re just covering it up.

Westerby

 

[Rainaldo]

what, exactly, do you mean by that?

It means, Tyler thinks fornication is consistent with her self-chosen moral principles; hence the dilemma.