Rash judgment/scruples

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Veronica97

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I have been scrupulous for three years now, since going to Confession for the first time in seven years. I am currently at my worst point ever. I have been to Confession an average of twice a week and only feel “clean” enough to receive Communion right afterward. This is after more than three weeks of not even being able to do that. I have settled on a regular confessor, and I have an appointment to speak with him outside the confessional. My prayer requests right now are for a clear mind–one that is able to discern rightly between venial and mortal sin–and for greater love for God and for others. I have just recently realized that rash judgment is a serious sin and it’s something that is a terrible longstanding habit of mine. I get rashly suspicious thoughts about others-- sometimes for very little or no reason-and I mean I suspect them of SERIOUS sins or character flaws. I try to refute those things in my mind when they happen and try to think of all the reasons why they may not be true, but maybe I should just say, “Lord, I hate this thought–please take it from me,” and try to focus on something else. That is a difficult thing for me sometimes b/c I suffer from OCD. I think that the root of my problem is a lack of love–for God and for others–and it shows up in others sins as well–such as too much focus on the flesh. I try to pray the rosary everyday (although I sometimes don’t make it when I get too depressed), and I’ve been trying to sit in front of Jesus in the tabernacle for an hour at least two or three times a week–asking Him to heal my heart. When I first came back to Confession three years ago, I was not only afraid of Hell (which is what brought me back), but I was also afraid of Purgatory. So I prayed that I would not have to go to Purgatory. Sometimes we should be careful what we pray for b/c I feel like I’m being shown my biggest faults.
 
Prayer of St. Dymphna

Lord, our God, you graciously chose St. Dymphna as patroness of those afflicted with mental, emotional, and nervous disorders, including OCD and scrupulosity. She is thus an inspiration and a symbol of charity to the thousands who ask her intercession.

Please grant, Lord, through the prayers of this pure youthful martyr, relief and consolation to all suffering OCD and scrupulosity, especially Veronica, for whom we now pray.

We beg you, Lord, to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna her behalf. Grant Veronica insight into her condition and a willingness to get treatment.

Please fill her with hope, and grant her relief and a cure from her condition.
We ask this through Christ our Lord, who suffered agony in the garden. Amen.

:signofcross:

​
 
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen. :signofcross:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen. :signofcross:
 
You have my prayers, and my utter assurance that you - the soul who has devoted hours to Jesus in prayer over issues that some Catholics might not think twice about, and is clearly very anxious and upset about the prospect of not doing something exactly in the way He wants– are going to heaven.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t change something.

I used to struggle similarly, and can especially sympathize with feeling a lack of love for others, and judging them to be bad people. You should remember that you are allowed to judge someone’s actions to be bad, just not how responsible they were for them in the eyes of Our Lord: for instance, you are allowed to think that it is wrong for a passer-by to wear a t-shirt with a blasphemous picture on it (I’ve seen some dreadful ones in my time), but you shouldn’t think that the wearer is going to hell. People can change for the better frighteningly quickly, and no-one changes for the worst irrecoverably.

With regard to loving them, I find it helps to remember that nobody in heaven is anything less than perfect, so if and when they get there, they will be too, and in all ways- including to you. (You might be best buds with blasphemous t-shirt guy someday.)

A clear mind will also steadily come when you stop panicking about Our Lord of Mercy damning you to hell for trying to follow Him. He’s showing you your (relatively small) biggest faults because He does that to everyone who answers his call, not just those who pray not to go to purgatory. Remember that Jesus commands us to “let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid”(John 14:27). He would prefer you to be a fearless and confident defender of his Truth: how can you convince others that Jesus loves them if you are constantly in mortal fear of Him? He lowered himself to be human and died horribly so that every person could be with Him, and would have done no less if you were the only human there was. He is your Saviour, not your judge: "If anyone hears My sayings and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.” (John 12:47)

One last thing to remember is that confession is not necessary for the forgiveness of venial sins. And just to cover all bases, if you ever somehow end up somewhere that you literally can’t confess a mortal sin (plane crash on a desert island etc), ask Our Lord to forgive you anyway. He probably will. He’s quite generous with the forgiveness malarkey.

But never stop aiming to be perfect in His eyes: one day you will be.
 
Dear God in Heaven, Lord Jesus Christ, please watch after Melinda. Please ask God for her to have a change in heart.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
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