RCC difficult to join

[JimmyJeff]

As I recall, he did fourteen years of instruction with the Apostles, and there is no mention that he got summers and stats off.

I did seventeen years, and I probably should have done 18 - I wasn’t ready for First Confession. However, I’m still here now, and I credit that to the patience of my teachers and friends.

Did he have to wait 14 years for First Communion?

 

[c659smith]

Ahem, JTM. :ehh: That’s probably a bit unfair about Mrs Spears. I don’t know of a process of protestant beatification. But more to the point, our own Church has indeed had “bad” Popes, child sex charges…a checkered past. IMO it is best not to attack other denominations.

jmcrae, can I have a quote re St. Paul? I’m not contesting you, I just don’t remember reading that,

Luke 2:41:
Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.
Hmm. Doesn’t sound lengthy to me. Sounds like God sovereignly wanted peope to join His Church on the double!!

and no one denying that but to accept ones faults and sins is the first part. Jesus did not come to this earth to save the righteous but the sinner if the sinner will repent and accept Him and His Church (the Catholic Church)

Jesus did not pick a perfect Church for He choose man to be a part of that Church (himself) the body and Jesus as Head.

Judas Iscariot, Peter’s denial, the Apostles fleeing during His passion etc…

For those that listen to you listen to Me and those that deny you deny Me.

 

[JackQ]

No, the RCC teaches infant Baptism, and Baptism is a sacrament.

Also, those years are childhood years. It is understandable that one needs instruction in the faith, and then one is Confirmed at the age of understanding, if they wish to grow in the grace that was started at Baptism. You are not talking about an adult who’s life has been changed by Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit, and them denying them membership to Christ’s Church. See the subtle insults I get? I am compared now to a child who is learning the very basics of Christianity. Whereas, I know the Bible and Catechism both pretty well. I am not saying I know all, but why not be allowed to participate and enjoy reading more about the Councils, etc later on? It seems I am expected to have a degree just to join!

I had similar thoughts when I went through RCIA. I assure you that you are having these concerns because Satan is attacking you, trying to keep you out of the Church. That’s not an insult by the way.

Follow Christ, follow his Church, and all will be well. And remember: knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.

 

[c659smith]

Ahem, JTM. :ehh: That’s probably a bit unfair about Mrs Spears. I don’t know of a process of protestant beatification. But more to the point, our own Church has indeed had “bad” Popes, child sex charges…a checkered past. IMO it is best not to attack other denominations.

Which isn’t to say that I agree with practicing homosexual clergy, etc,

jmcrae, can I have a quote re St. Paul? I’m not contesting you, I just don’t remember reading that,

Luke 2:41:
Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.
Hmm. Doesn’t sound lengthy to me. Sounds like God sovereignly wanted peope to join His Church on the double!!

You are required to have a basic understanding of the Church and the gravity of your decision to become a part of Christ’s Body. For you have been given instruction on the fulness of the faith and to deny after that would send you where?

Do you believe you have that?

Do you have a basic understand that the Catholic Church is 3 parts Sacred Teachings, Sacred Traditions, and Sacred Scripture ?

Are you willing with the knowledge of these to become one with the Church no matter what and to remain with Her. To become a soldier of Christ. For any changes within the Church must come from Her and any challenges with that we can work towards but must follow Her current teachings.

 

[jmcrae]

Did he have to wait 14 years for First Communion?

I have no idea.

I know that I waited 17 years, and it was well worth the wait, to fully understand what was going on, at the time. But I really feel that I ought to have waited an extra year to get a better handle on Confession, because I don’t like how I did my First Confession; I was confused about the ritual, and my experience of it was less than what it would have been if I had fully understood what I was doing, and what to expect.

 

[kalt]

The idea was that we’d go through RCIA as a group and join together at Easter Vigil with some special ceremony involving a candle. That would have been special. But it just didn’t work out that way. I don’t think anyone joined at Easter Vigil that year from memory. We were all at different times for different reasons. It was still good. Lots of people came up and said hello.

Hope you enjoy tomorrow.

I I’m confused. You’ve already been Baptized/Confirmed?

 

[SerenaHC]

I I’m confused. You’ve already been Baptized/Confirmed?

The OP started this thread LAST YEAR. He has since come into the Church.

Personally, tomorrow will be my 5th anniversary in the Church. I’ve learned so much in the past five years and changed so much as a result of being Catholic that I’m almost unrecognizable to people who knew me before! Being Catholic is a process of continually learning, growing, and changing, becoming more the kind of person Christ wants us to be. Dying to self is a big challenge to all of us and takes time to learn. I hope the OP prints out this entire thread, files it away, and then reads it again in five years. I wonder what changes Christ will have wrought in him in that time?

God is good.

Happy Easter, everybody.

Pax,

 

[jmcrae]

The OP started this thread LAST YEAR. He has since come into the Church.

And is thinking of quitting. His wife has already quit - she is joining the Presbyterians.

Personally, tomorrow will be my 5th anniversary in the Church. I’ve learned so much in the past five years and changed so much as a result of being Catholic that I’m almost unrecognizable to people who knew me before! Being Catholic is a process of continually learning, growing, and changing, becoming more the kind of person Christ wants us to be. Dying to self is a big challenge to all of us and takes time to learn. I hope the OP prints out this entire thread, files it away, and then reads it again in five years. I wonder what changes Christ will have wrought in him in that time?

It will be my seventh - and I know exactly what you mean.

God is good.

Amen!!

 

[c659smith]

And is thinking of quitting. His wife has already quit - she is joining the Presbyterians.

It will be my seventh - and I know exactly what you mean.

And is thinking of quitting. His wife has already quit - she is joining the Presbyterians.

Why would he be considering quitting?

What was the reason his wife quit?

How can you quit the truth?

Amen!!

 

[SerenaHC]

If the OP’s wife has already quit and the OP is considering quitting, I think it shows that bypassing RCIA the way they did may have been detrimental to their faith.

If the wife is going Presbyterian, the OP should have her read *Rome Sweet Home *by Scott Hahn, a former Presbyterian minister and his wife.

Pax,

 

[SerenaHC]

I can’t understand how someone who was so vehement about his preparedness to join the Church, his years of study, and balking at attending RCIA could be willing to leave after the first year. OP, what gives?

 

[theAuthor]

SerenaHC,

I have read Rome Sweet Home and told my wife about what it says. My wife read Surprised by Truth. Those things don’t appeal to either of us as much as St Augustine’s Confessions.

Look, the Presbyterian church my wife has been attending has nothing to do with their theology. I bet she doesn’t even know what the “Presbo’s” believe. It is simply a service which she can attend where they have Sunday school which our toddler who is a problem can attend and seems happy. Last Sunday, he didn’t even make it as far as Sunday School, even there. My wife arrived home in tears.

I think it shows that bypassing RCIA the way they did may have been detrimental to their faith.

Please don’t judge me. ** We did not bypass RCIA. We did the whole thing.**

"What gives" is that the Parish we joined (our local Parish) let us know in no uncertain terms that we are** expected **to attend that Parish. Although I am aware that strictly speaking, we can try a different Parish, try telling that to our Catechists!

The Parish we joined through is very strictly traditional, older and unbending. Maybe there are other Parishes with crying rooms, but I’ve never seen one. I think the Parish we are in does have one, but it is used for stacking chairs (we asked and no, they won’t let us use it).

So the problem, or “what gives” is that basically we have a toddler who we cannot control for Mass. We did make the mistake of not attending enough Masses as a family during RCIA. You know, mistake, like humans make? When I was “studying” I was a single man, and circumstances were different then.

I just want my son to be a good boy.

Mass is kind of serious and solemn. I really like that. I don’t want to spoil that for other people. When we go to Mass as a family, by the Homily (you can set your watch by it), we are sitting outside under a tree, my son and I, without being able to hear the Mass. After a few weeks you feel pretty silly getting dressed up to go and sit under a tree.

 

[Jacquelinem]

Christ told us that He wanted all the little children brought to him. They are a joy to his heart. Our priest wants families to worship together and asks everyone to remember this and have patience for the minor interruptions of infants and small children. Consequently, we have many young families who bring their entire family to Mass with them which is truly a beautiful sight to see.

I’ve noticed that on the occasion that a child begins crying or is having a particularly troubling time, the parent will go to the Narthex with him or her, enjoy hearing the Mass there, and return when the child has quieted. Does your parish building not have a Narthex?

If you feel totally uncomfortable with the parish you’re attending, please seek another where your entire family will feel happy going to. One of the most important reasons it’s important is to receive the Blessed Sacrament and to pass these teachings to your children.

God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[jmcrae]

Look, the Presbyterian church my wife has been attending has nothing to do with their theology. I bet she doesn’t even know what the “Presbo’s” believe. It is simply a service which she can attend where they have Sunday school which our toddler who is a problem can attend and seems happy. Last Sunday, he didn’t even make it as far as Sunday School, even there. My wife arrived home in tears.

How do the Presybterian Sunday School teachers find him? Is he a joy to work with, there? If so, ask them what they do with him, that keeps him happy in Church.

Please don’t judge me. ** We did not bypass RCIA. We did the whole thing.**

And complained the whole time that you weren’t getting anything out of it, that it was unnecessary, and that you felt you should be received into the Church on the basis that you knew it all, already.

"What gives" is that the Parish we joined (our local Parish) let us know in no uncertain terms that we are** expected **to attend that Parish. Although I am aware that strictly speaking, we can try a different Parish, try telling that to our Catechists!

And you’ve been out of RCIA for a year now, and they have no authority over you, any more.

So the problem, or “what gives” is that basically we have a toddler who we cannot control for Mass. We did make the mistake of not attending enough Masses as a family during RCIA. You know, mistake, like humans make?

Weren’t we telling you at the time that it was a mistake?

When I was “studying” I was a single man, and circumstances were different then.

Yes, they were. But being Catholic is for a life-time - not just for the single years. Nor is it only for the toddler years. In six months to a year, your boy is going to be trained on how to go to Mass, and he’ll be listening and quiet when he goes. You just have to get through the training period - constant repetition, rewards for being good, and penalties for acting up, on a consistent basis.

I just want my son to be a good boy.

Of course you do. That’s why you need to train him in the way that he ought to go. (Proverbs 22:6)

Mass is kind of serious and solemn. I really like that. I don’t want to spoil that for other people. When we go to Mass as a family, by the Homily (you can set your watch by it), we are sitting outside under a tree, my son and I, without being able to hear the Mass. After a few weeks you feel pretty silly getting dressed up to go and sit under a tree.

One brilliant idea that I came across was to train kids at home on how to go to Mass. One Mom was writing about how she has a pew bench that she picked up very cheaply, which she put in her play area at home, and her children “play Mass” with it. She says it is extremely effective - when they are actually at Mass, they remember how to behave themselves, and remind each other of what is about to happen at each part.

 

[SerenaHC]

I’ve been thinking about this problem with your little boy. My oldest son, Ashley, was TERRIBLE. He was just a very high spirited boy. I remember several years later overhearing another mother crying about her son’s conduct in church and a woman told her, “If Ashley can be tamed, any child can be tamed!” Made me feel kind of bad that my son was the poster child for wild children but it was true.

You have to practice at home. One of the ways we do it now with our young boys is to watch the Mass on EWTN~and make the children watch it with us and act appropriately. Your son will come around in time. Until then, the people in your parish are just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Don’t let their attitudes keep you from taking your son to Mass.

Also, take your son to church to pray the rosary before the blessed sacrament when nobody else is there. Get him used to being in church!

You can go to whichever parish you want, at least in the USA you can. I don’t go to my neighborhood parish.

I hope you’re doing lots of praying over this situation. Follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and ask your family’s Guardian Angels to help guide you.

 

[guanophore]

I would like to vent a bit of my frustration at the difficulty in joining the RCC, and a couple of other things.

I came to know Jesus through the RCC (I boarded with preists for 5 years undergoing Catechesis), and the AOG church (my wife’s church) at the same time. The AOG church went off on the prosperity tangent, and I thought, well the RCC still teaches the truth. I know “all” the teachings and accept them so let’s go there.

I expected having gone through years of Catechesis to simply be received into the RCC, but was told I had to do the RCIA. What has happened is that things I used to accept as fact (Apostolic Succession, Infallibility of the Pope, the Churche’s concern for the poor) have all come into question since doing the RCIA. I have looked into history, since my sponsor is a history buff, and found things to be not so clear-cut as I once though. She also insists that all other Churches are false since the RCC is the “One True Church.”

God has given you a cross to bear. Please keep in mind that you have as much to contribute to the RCIA as they have to contribute to you, and that some of the catechists do make mistakes. It is good that you are studying history. If there are questions to be resolved about your understanding of the faith, it is best that they come to light now. This way, when you do make a profession of faith, you will not be doing so with unresolved doubts.

We also strongly dislike being called converts. We are already believers. If we were changing from Islam or Judaism, fair enough, but is Catholicism a different religion altogether to the AOG?

No, but having been in an AOG for a year, I can surely testify that it is not Catholic.

Another thing we dislike is being called protestants, since we have never had any ill-feeling towards the RCC, and were not involved in the Reformation. We didn’t know anything about it really (but do now).

It is incumbent upon you to let people know how you want to be treated. If you are being called a “Protestant” and it is offensive to you, ask people to correct this. Technically, you are a catechumen, or a separated brethren. The term “protestant” may be accurate, to the extent that you have historically embraced teachings that originate from protesting Catholicism, but it is not necessary to use that language.

So my other concern is this:
With my history, if I still have to jump through a million hoops to be received (despite my preist mentor saying I was ready 5 years ago), how are we expected to gain any new members for the RCC?

The spiritual growth process is always ongoing (I hope!), and you may have discovered things now that you did not realize 5 years ago. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

For Catholics, quality is much more important than quantity. It is better to have fewer Catholics who are properly catechized and fervent than a whole church full of plants that will wither when challenged by the heat of the day.

One more thing:
We are told to go to Mass, but cannot receive the Eucharist, despite believing in the Real Prescence, and that hurts. I also wish to make a good cofession and cannot do that either until just before being received into the Church. Even that has been put off until after Easter now because our whole group backed out!
I am told that as long as I am willing to make a good confession ASAP, then that counts. SO why do we confess to a preist at all? Why won’t they just hear my confession so I can have peace?

Have you been validly baptized? Perhaps it is best to take these issues to the priest. Exceptions can be made for pastoral reasons. I have not read the whole thread yet, so maybe this has been settled?

 

[guanophore]

SerenaHC,

I have read Rome Sweet Home and told my wife about what it says. My wife read Surprised by Truth. Those things don’t appeal to either of us as much as St Augustine’s Confessions.

Look, the Presbyterian church my wife has been attending has nothing to do with their theology. I bet she doesn’t even know what the “Presbo’s” believe. It is simply a service which she can attend where they have Sunday school which our toddler who is a problem can attend and seems happy. Last Sunday, he didn’t even make it as far as Sunday School, even there. My wife arrived home in tears.

Please don’t judge me. ** We did not bypass RCIA. We did the whole thing.**

"What gives" is that the Parish we joined (our local Parish) let us know in no uncertain terms that we are** expected **to attend that Parish. Although I am aware that strictly speaking, we can try a different Parish, try telling that to our Catechists!

The Parish we joined through is very strictly traditional, older and unbending. Maybe there are other Parishes with crying rooms, but I’ve never seen one. I think the Parish we are in does have one, but it is used for stacking chairs (we asked and no, they won’t let us use it).

So the problem, or “what gives” is that basically we have a toddler who we cannot control for Mass. We did make the mistake of not attending enough Masses as a family during RCIA. You know, mistake, like humans make? When I was “studying” I was a single man, and circumstances were different then.

I just want my son to be a good boy.

Mass is kind of serious and solemn. I really like that. I don’t want to spoil that for other people. When we go to Mass as a family, by the Homily (you can set your watch by it), we are sitting outside under a tree, my son and I, without being able to hear the Mass. After a few weeks you feel pretty silly getting dressed up to go and sit under a tree.

May the Lord bless you! Remember that Nathaniel found Jesus while sitting under a tree, and the Divinity of Jesus was revealed to Him. Can you get Catholic Radio where you are? There are a lot of good homilies from the masses on there, and they sometimes play twice a day. There is a priest at my parish who is an AWFUL homilist. It pains me to listen to his ramblings, and I am relieved (for shame!) when he skips the homily at Mass.

The best way to train your toddler to sit in Mass is practice. You seem to be doing this. Realize that teaching your son respect for the Mass is more important than missing the homily yourself. In the long run, you have made the right choice. You can also practice with a child by working on periods of sitting quietly at home with a children’s bible and attach rewards to each minute of compliance. If possible, you can bring the child to church when the Mass is not in session, and practice sitting in the pew. it is a skill, and therefore, can be learned. Unfortunately, the parents have to let go of what they want, in order to help the child to develop the skill. However, this is what sanctification is all about! God is at work in you to will and to do His good pleasure.