RCIA: An incident and consideration (black American Catholics?)

[244Rocket]

I feel bad that you had this awful experience. If it were me, I would let them know that I found it offensive. I hope this won’t discourage you from becoming a Catholic. Good luck.

 

[creationlover]

Hi,

As an African American, I am glad to see you spoke to someone, but encourage you to speak with the priest if you haven’t already. I am on the path to growing dredlocks and expect a few stares, but hair is part of our physical and cultural identity. The Church is obviously not perfect, but I am very proud to be a part of the Church that stood against American slavery imposed on Africans and was one of the few churches that stood up for us in the Civil Rights era. I think we as Catholics have the great opportunity for unity, and we must continue on that path.

Keep Rising!!

Creationlover

 

[sskyking]

I am currently in an RCIA program near where I live. For about a month or so, I have been seeking knowledge about the Church, growing to see its Truths, and being drawn into the Faith in a way. Though it’s been a bumpy road even within the past few weeks, an incident that occurred yesterday has brought up some questions in my mind.

I was sitting around a table with a number of other church members after mass, when the priest made a joke about my and another black woman’s natural, kinky hair. Everyone in the room laughed for about a minute. I mean, knee-slapping, side-splitting laughter. While the comment was enough to irk me, what really drove the point home was the reaction of my peers.

I am now very aware that the community is not comfortable with me because of my race.

I believe that a person’s spirituality is very tender and can only flourish in a supportive, nourishing environment. This small comment may seem like nothing, especially to those of you who are in the cultural majority at your churches, but to me it was a hurtful comment serving as both a wake-up call and a reminder of the challenges that I will inevitably face as a black American woman in the Catholic Church (especially in the United States). Having such interactions within a parish community is one thing, but for RCIA? I firmly believe that trust is an absolutely vital ingredient. There are other wonderful people there, but the priest is in charge and ultimately sets the tone of the experience as everyone defers to him.

Should I consider looking into an alternative RCIA program (I live in a large urban area and can potentially find a larger, more diverse group)? Do I say something about the incident to someone I trust in the program? Or do I stick it out and suffer in silence (and maybe spend less time with that group and seek out other opportunities to meet Catholics in the area)? I am praying on it, but wanted to share.

Black American/other culturally non-traditional Catholics especially welcome to respond.

First off, it sounds like the comment and reaction was inappropriate, and yes, as many have said you should go to the priest and discuss it with him. I would suggest that your approach can make a big difference in how it’s received. Don’t focus on his being wrong, but rather focus on how the situation made you feel and let him see for himself why he was wrong!

One point I don’t see addressed here though that I’m curious about. You mentioned that “another black woman” was present, was she also new to the group, and did she have the same reaction you did? Just wondering because I’ve seen situations in mixed groups where what appeared to be intolerance was simply that those present were so comfortable with each other that the remarks were actually intended as acceptance! For instance, I have a close circle of friends of various ethnic backgrounds… and we delight in picking on each other and poking fun. You never know what one of us is going to say, but we do try to be mindful of our surrounding so as not to confuse those who don’t understand our affectionate play!