RCIA and First Confession

[PilarDLS]

Hi All,

I’m joining the Church at Easter, and am eager to make my first confession (I am a baptized Christian, but not Catholic) but I have some questions. I would ask these of my priest, but I’m not really very comfortable talking to him, and he frequently gives me answers to my questions that don’t make sense to me and in fact are contrary to the CCC. I have an appointment to make my first confession to another priest that is a little more orthodox, if you will.

Anyway, I’m confused as to how detailed I have to be in confessing the 20-something years of sins that I have committed since my baptism as a young child. Does it look something like, “I shoplifted for years, I stabbed my brother, I drove a friend to the abortion clinic, etc” or do I have to try to remember, for example, how many times I shoplifted, how many times I stabbed my brother, how many friends I drove to the abortion clinic? What if I don’t know or can’t remember, or committed a particular sin too many times to count?

Note: These sins are for discussion purposes only. The exact nature of my sins has been omitted to protect the guilty but contrite of heart.

Also, how much detail do I have to go into regarding my breaking of the various commandments? I’ve probably broken all 10, in various and sundry ways. For example the sheet on Examination of Conscience says for “Thou Shalt Not Kill” things like, “Have I wished ill fate to befall another?” and “Have I acted on anger unjustly?” Oh, dear. I could be in the Confessional all night if I try to remember every instance of things like this over the last 20 years. Perhaps you can see why I am confused.

My desire is to make a good and complete confession without keeping the poor priest in the confessional for hours and hours listening to me drone on about all that I have done. I’m afraid I led quite a dissolute life in my youth.

Anyway, thank you for your advice.

 

[Mel_Stones]

There are others with similar questions. Here’s an apologist’s answer

RCIA first confession question.

Hope that helps.
Welcome home!

 

[RedSoxFan45]

Congrats on going to your first confession. My first confession after reverting the faith was hard but rewarding. First thing is first, it sounds like you are examining your conscious of a guide. That’s all well and good but be careful to remember it also list venial sins on that guide. I made the mistake of considering them all mortal sins on those guides for a long time. Remember what constitutes a mortal sin?

From the CCC
1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent."131
1858 Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: "Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother."132 The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.
1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart133 do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.
1860 Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.
1861 Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.

You mentioned shoplifting. Would shop lifting bread for your hungry family from Wal-Mart who makes billions of dollars be as bad as shop lifting the most expensive item in a mom and pop shop? I think the first would probably be venial and the latter be mortal. Keep these things in mind while examining conscious and realize that confessing venal sins is good, but on this first confession, it may be wise to stick to confessing the mortal sins to keep it shorter. You should confess the sin and time in number. If you cannot remember the number than just mention that and then say where you think the number is. God and priest know you are trying your best to give a good confession. God isn’t looking for a technicality to send you to hell. At the end of the confession if something doesn’t feel right, then do not worry, you are forgive and if it really brothers you than just add it to your next confession. This issue is near and dear to my heart because I got caught up in thinking so much was a mortal sin and the whole legalistic aspect of it. I hope this help.

 

[mswood]

This is why I am so happy that I will be baptized at Easter, washing away a lifetime of sin. This will make things much easier for me when I do have my first confession later. If I was already baptized and had to make my first confession now I would need a notebook and the entire night to get everything out.

 

[lutherlic]

I had my first confession 2 months ago. I had more than double the years you have to cover!

It is impossible to remember everything, but there are some bigger sins that weigh on your conscience. Focus on those. I made a list of them. Schedule an appointment, go through your list and any others you remember at that time. It will not be as hard as you think. Listen to Father and answer any questions he has. Your confession is good and you will be absolved even if you forget sins - which you certainly will in your first confession.

I think first confessions, or confessions after a long lapse, are different than regular confessions in the completeness of remembered sins. Lots of things I read about confession apply more to regular confessions. For example, just remembering sins is hard enough let alone how many times and the exact circumstances.