RCIA and Mass Attendance

[sharonr]

I have a question…I am an RE coordinator for a very small parish with 99% hispanics. We have used the ‘envelopes’ for the past 4 years and we also used the ‘sign in’ paper where the child needed a signature by the priest or RE teacher that was at Mass. We give a set amount of Masses the child can miss per school year (this is for the 3 year formation for those in line to receive the Sacraments). Parents are automatically in an uproar when they are told that their child has not been attending the Mass. I guess my question is this, is it o.k. to turn down a child from receiving their Sacraments? When the blame falls on the parents? To me, there is such a fine line …HELP!!

 

[Ohiomom]

You say that you haven’t had this problem with catechumens, only the converting protestants.

Have you ever thought how the converting protestants feel being lumped together with unbaptized converts? Some protestants have faithfully served Christ for years according to the knowledge they have. What does it say when you teach them with people who are not yet baptized?
.

I was raised Baptist, fell away from any faith during college then started attending Episcopal churches prior to starting RCIA, I had no problem being in one RCIA along with those who had not been baptized. It helped us form community together as we were all on different parts of the same journey.

 

[ctkrcia]

I have been the RCIA director at my parish for three years. My approach has been a little more of a soft approach. At the beginning of the year (during the Inquiry phase), I mention that I hope everyone has had a chance to attend Mass. If not, then get there ASAP and begin to get exposed to our form of worship. After the Rite of Welcoming, we have a 1/2 day retreat that focuses entirely on the Mass - structure, mechanics, scriptural basis, theology, etc. At that class, the candidates and catechumen are told that to be Catholic requires their attendance at Mass every Sunday and holy day, unless there is a valid reason not to attend.

We meet privately with each person seeking full communion with the church. This is done once in the fall and once in the spring. Each time I ask if they are attending Mass every Sunday. I’ve gotten responses from “I’m trying” to “It’s hard” to “Almost” to “ABSOLUTELY!”. I always reemphasize the point that this is a commitment, but it’s part of being a disciple. I then restate the Mass schedule for the parish and the fact the Catholic churches are everywhere if they happen to be out of town.

Once we get to Ash Wednesday and the Rite of Election, it’s pretty much expected that everyone is attending Mass regularly. By that point, if they have been paying attention, it would be impossible to miss the message.

As a side note, the first class after Holy Saturday I always do two things. First is to ask each person what they thought of the Holy Saturday Mass. This is always uplifting. The second thing is to hit them with a cold hard statistic. I tell them that one year after entering the church, 50% of the neophytes are no longer attending Mass regularly. Then I encourage them all to be part of the group that lowers that statistic. So far, it looks like last year’s class is going to beat the average!

 

[Barbara_Lee]

I am recently converted… and just wanted to say that if people are not wanting to attend RCIA and Mass… maybe they aren’t ready to make the commitment needed. I have to wonder that if one is not willing to give a couple of hours a week to attend church… are they really willing to give their lives – 24-7-- over to Jesus?

When I first started RCIA and attending Mass the parishinors were not very friendly… but I wasn’t attending the Catholic Church as a social event. I was there to worship, and just presummed everyone else were there for the same reason. But some of the other RCIA group needed that comfort so would meet up outside prior to Mass and attend together.

Because of a move during my classes, I had two different RCIA leaders… they both many times told us that this was not just a church change, it is a life change. It is about worshiping and spending time with GOD!

 

[Ohiomom]

they never saw her? I have someone now who comes to Mass erratically. He thinks my expectation of weekly Mass attendance is a bit far-fetched since his cradle Catholic wife only attends once a month or so. Why should he come more often than she does when he’s not Catholic yet?

Am I unreasonable in my expectation? How can I help people develop a love for the Mass? If you work with RCIA have you run into this situation? How do you handle it?

A couple of other points, is the wife also coming to RCIA classes with her husband. If not, I would encourage her to come 1) so she knows what he is learning and 2)depending on her age, her own catechisis may be have been sketchy at best.

Unless she has some job that mandates she works Saturday afternoons and all day Sunday, my guess is she does not have a full understanding that mass is a (joyful/wonderful) obligation for Catholics.

Also, I think someone else made the point that Sunday church attendance is not seen as being absolutely necessary every week. I know we rarely missed, but on occasion we would have some family outing and would miss church. Since for some denominations you can “have church” anywhere, it would be “ok” to miss church.

My main suggestion is to encourage people to become involved in some activity in the parish while they are in RCIA. I did. I joined the choir at my parish and I was going to mass several times a week in addition to Sunday. I know I was atypical, but there are plenty of activities in many parish’s that one could be active in while in RCIA. A pro-life group, committees for the parish festival or picnic, mothers group, men’s prayer group, St. Vincent de Paul, a young adults group etc. In my humble opinion, that is they best way for people to feel involved in the greater parish life and to meet more people. Every city or suburban parish I know has at least 2 masses and most I know have 3-5 just on Sunday so it is almost impossible to meet people without being involved. Another idea would be to encourage people to go to coffee & donuts if your parish has that. I attend a TLM and I met more people the first week by going to the coffee hour than I had met in months.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

A couple of other points, is the wife also coming to RCIA classes with her husband. If not, I would encourage her to come 1) so she knows what he is learning and 2)depending on her age, her own catechisis may be have been sketchy at best.

I’m under the impression that she’s not terribly interested in either faith in general or her husband’s journey into the Church.

I’ve had spouses come to RCIA sessions, partly to support the one coming into the Church and partly so that they can learn more. It’s been good for everyone involved. But not all of the spouses are interested or available.

My main suggestion is to encourage people to become involved in some activity in the parish while they are in RCIA.

We do encourage this and it’s been a good thing. I’ve had people in RCIA become ushers, take part in serving coffee and donuts after Mass, help with meals at the homeless shelter, come to our faith and film nights, join our young adult group, etc. It’s been good for everyone – they get to know other parishioners and the parishioners get to know them.

And it’s something they’ve continued after RCIA is over. I love going to Mass and seeing my folks acting in various capacities at Mass or seeing them after Mass signing people up to participate in some activity. Making those sorts of connections and getting people integrated into the community is important.

 

[lesliejean]

I regularly smile at people on my way in and out of Mass, but the rush to the car is on, so I haven’t felt warmly welcomed, except by a couple of people who have offered me rides when I didn’t have a car. Now that I have one, I keep my eyes out for someone else who might need a ride, so that I may return that favour.
Leslie

 

[PAboy57]

our RCIA team has an agreement that one of us will attend the mass (that the convert is able to make schedule wise) with any new converts so they feel more comfortable.

now we haven’t had any yet but that is our plan to help them go to Mass.

 

[thequeen]

As a converting protestant I had this problem too. Protestant churches are like a community where people hang around to socialise, wheras Catholics rush off after mass. Its a race to see who can get out of the car park first. Catholics will avoid each other in case a chance meeting might delay their escape from Church. This is hard for protestants who are used to being fawned upon when a new face appears at the door of the church and who feel that the tea and biscuits is just as an important part of the service as the sermon.(not that they would admit they feel that)

Have a talk to the struggling converts about this issue. If you can find a support group of protestants who have converted who can set up a little tea and biscuits table in a hall near the church and who can form a friendly welcome group for the new converts. Of course this will be very hard to achieve because these converted protestants will have very quickly converted to join the “race out of church” and will probably have as many excuses to not stay at mass, as these converts are making to not attend mass at all. However making new converts welcomed and loved will bear more fruit than laying down the law to them.

Having said all that though, in the end it is the individuals personal commitment which will see them across the line to admission into the church. We can only do so much to help. The other thing I suggest is that the priest should talk to these people. Really the RCIA programs should be run by priests. I think it is tragic that new converts cannot receive intimate personal one on one direction from a priest. Personally, I sought out a priest who could give me this individual attention when I was converting. Perhaps your protestant converts need some one on one guidance from a priest.

By the way it is shocking that the new converts wife is only coming to church once a month. Again I would get the priest to speak to this woman and explain to her how here shocking behaviour is threatening not only her eternal salvation but the eternal salvation of her husband as well.

also rcia directors in parishes could maybe annouce when the parish is having a newcomers brunch i mentioned this to our rcia director at my parish and encourage the people inrcia to attend that way they could find out what ministries they might want to be involved in after they officially convert and they would also have a chance to meet iother parishioners in the parish who have taken the time to come to the newcomers brunch we have once about 2 times ayear sometimes 3 and i try to come them to help welcome new people and to help the person who is over that ministry in what ever way i can

 

[StrawberryJam]

I regularly smile at people on my way in and out of Mass, but the rush to the car is on, so I haven’t felt warmly welcomed, except by a couple of people who have offered me rides when I didn’t have a car. Now that I have one, I keep my eyes out for someone else who might need a ride, so that I may return that favour.
Leslie

I met a person, such as yourself who gave themselves so willingly this way. She has been doing this for nearly 11 years. A year after her husband died.
I only found out recently that I knew her husband even after all the times we have been bumping into each other after daily Mass.
The problem was, that I did not know he was known as Jack by family and friends. I was neither, and only knew him by the name of John.
That man helped me on a day I felt that no one would help me. He preformed an act of kindness that I believe was one of the main reasons I came here after my accident.

He could have easily passed me on the side of the road and just kept going. Just as so many others did for hours. He gave me a bottle of cold water. My cell phone was not charged, and the charger was not working.
He stopped, gave me water and called AAA for me, and my sister in law.
In the meantime, he and I got to know each other better. I told him things were in hand, and thanked him for his act of kindness and generosity. He had none of that, and wanted to talk about the Cubs. He was a Cubs fan.
We talked, and recalled our childhood memories together. I could not understand why he took so much of his time with me. I asked him to explain why he stopped, why he insisted on staying until the tow truck came to pick up my BMW with only 16,000 miles on it. He was driving a Mini Van, and for the life of me I can not remember the model or make, but I know it was a car much older than mine.
We had a great conversation.
I remembered every second of that time.
I remembered the day I saw his name in the obits.
I felt like I lost a friend I will never be a ble to thank for all he did for me.

He was a man who left this world, with 16 grandchildren. Married his high school sweetheart, and went on to do many things in the community.

I wish he was here. I wish I could tell him I came here because of him.

 

[excubitor]

When you add something to someone else’s quote, it is generally helpful to change the color, make it bold, bigger, anything to tell the next reader that it is an addition.

I have done no such thing. I am very diligent with my quote tagging. Could you please point out where I have done this.

I am glad that you have found something useful from my post though.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

This is a horrible generalization. I had a conversation with my priest awhile back… about the parish closures in Cleveland. At the time, I was only known in two parishes. I said that I was certain that other parishes would welcome any of us gladly, and in a sense there’s no such thing as “my parish” because they’re all “my parish”. We spoke of this generalization, and how I thought it HAD to be the exception, rather than the rule.

Since then, I’ve been using Saturday mass to visit other parishes, and I’ve started attending weekday mass at another.

Know what I found out?

At every parish they welcomed me as a stranger with as warm a welcome as one could ever ask for. One invited me to an after-mass Bible study, and at another I was invited to coffee afterward by a parishioner.

I have YET to catch a cold shoulder.

My observation of such things is this: if you seem unapproachable… people won’t approach you. If you’ve got a warm smile on your face and you seem to have a friendly disposition… people will want to be around you.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

and yet somehow this got inserted into your quote of Joe…

“As far as I am concerned Catholics can learn a lot from the protestants with regards to making the church a community of believers. At least in my area anyway.”

That’s what doesn’t make sense…

 

[StrawberryJam]

and yet somehow this got inserted into your quote of Joe…

“As far as I am concerned Catholics can learn a lot from the protestants with regards to making the church a community of believers. At least in my area anyway.”

That’s what doesn’t make sense…

Protestants in my area go out of their way at great cost to make people feel welcome to come in their doors.

This is only my personal observation. I do not argue that this is a normal state of affairs.

Yet, I remain with the Catholic Mass, as an observer. And, have enjoyed the coffee and dougnuts every now and then. Got to know more people, even met people I did not realize I already had a connection to. However remote.

For me, personally- I don’t boil it down to an emotional response. This could be why I am not persuaded by the really touchy feely thing.

I am not interested in getting something out of this for me. I am interested in truth, wherever it leads me. My emotions can only hinder that pursuit. And, it is hard to suppress them, I admit.

 

[joe_cool]

Protestants in my area go out of their way at great cost to make people feel welcome to come in their doors.

This is only my personal observation. I do not argue that this is a normal state of affairs.

Yet, I remain with the Catholic Mass, as an observer. And, have enjoyed the coffee and dougnuts every now and then. Got to know more people, even met people I did not realize I already had a connection to. However remote.

For me, personally- I don’t boil it down to an emotional response. This could be why I am not persuaded by the really touchy feely thing.

I am not interested in getting something out of this for me. I am interested in truth, wherever it leads me. My emotions can only hinder that pursuit. And, it is hard to suppress them, I admit.

I don’t believe that she meant your thought didn’t make sense - she was pointing out that your thought was inserted in a block that was quoting me… and so it didn’t make sense because it seemed as though I was contradicting myself.

 

[joe_cool]

"excubitor:

I have done no such thing. I am very diligent with my quote tagging. Could you please point out where I have done this.

I am glad that you have found something useful from my post though.

Certainly.

Blue is me. Red is you.

joe_cool:

This is a horrible generalization. I had a conversation with my priest awhile back… about the parish closures in Cleveland. At the time, I was only known in two parishes. I said that I was certain that other parishes would welcome any of us gladly, and in a sense there’s no such thing as “my parish” because they’re all “my parish”. We spoke of this generalization, and how I thought it HAD to be the exception, rather than the rule.

Since then, I’ve been using Saturday mass to visit other parishes, and I’ve started attending weekday mass at another.

Know what I found out?

At every parish they welcomed me as a stranger with as warm a welcome as one could ever ask for. One invited me to an after-mass Bible study, and at another I was invited to coffee afterward by a parishioner.

As far as I am concerned Catholics can learn a lot from the protestants with regards to making the church a community of believers. At least in my area anyway.

I have YET to catch a cold shoulder.

My observation of such things is this: if you seem unapproachable… people won’t approach you. If you’ve got a warm smile on your face and you seem to have a friendly disposition… people will want to be around you.
I’m glad if its a gross generalisation. But that is how it is in my neck of the woods. And I do not have an unapproachable disposition, at least I have never had this kind of problem at our protestant fellowships. My family was always one of the last to leave church.

 

[lesliejean]

What a heartwarming story!
On Ash Wednesday this year, as I was slogging to the bus stop through the wet snow flurries, a man in a mini van stopped to ask if he could give me a ride. I’m certainly not in the habit of accepting rides with strangers, but he, like me, was wearing a black cross on his forehead, so I knew he had just come from church too and I felt safe. He drove me home and then wrote down his name and phone numbers so I could call him whenever I needed a ride. He has become a friend, and went with me the day I purchased my own car.
There are some very kind people at church, and in the world.
Leslie

 

[lutherlic]

For the first couple months of RCIA I missed Mass 2 or 3 times when RCIA wasn’t scheduled for that week (we were dismissed during Mass). Going to church every Sunday was not my habit and I didn’t feel Catholic yet… I also did not yet fully appreciate exactly what Mass is.

As I learned more from RCIA and studying for countless hours on my own, that changed.

I wouldn’t recommend being pushy, particularly during the first half of an RCIA program. Explore what Mass is and perhaps contrast that with Protestant worship services and why Catholics are happy to fulfill their Mass obligation. Remember that RCIA is a process.

 

[DHC1Chipmunk]

I came to the Catholic Church from a Presbyterian and Methodist background. There is definitely some culture shock.

In the two Protestant denominations I mentioned, the before-worship goal is to “connect with” your fellow worshipers, especially all newcomers, and to impress upon newcomers how excited the congregation is that the newcomers are present. This is done by meeting and greeting (“swarming”) (a church term, not a derogative term) at the main entrance. Lone personal prayer in the pews before the service was very rare, and if we saw such a thing, we were to approach that person and ask if they needed help. The swarming is also called the “vacuum cleaner” approach and it is the result of the Protestant goal to “grow, grow, grow” the congregation. (George Barna, et cetera.)

In my Catholic Church (I’ve only belonged to one), we pray and generally maintain silence before the Mass. Greeters do not swarm the main entrance. That probably can seem cold and offputting to someone coming from a swarming denomination.

Our RCIA classes were scheduled for Sunday morning, and as part of the class we attended the first part of the Mass. We were dismissed before the Communion rite, and returned to the classroom to discuss the day’s readings.

 

[excubitor]

Certainly.

Blue is me. Red is you.

Thanks for pointing this out,
I am usually very attentive but I admit I made an error on this occasion.