RCIA and my Child

[rabbysmom]

I am entering into RCIA this fall and need some advise please. My daughter would be coming along with me and there are a couple of options at different parish’s for her. I am really torn as to where to go since they seem to offer completely different options for my daughter. I need some friendly advise and guidance if you are willing.

1st Parish: Has a formal RCIA and RCIC program. When my daughter and I go through this, on Easter Vigil I will be confirmed and receive the Eucharist and my daughter will be baptized and receive the Eucharist as well.
2nd Parish: Has a formal RCIA program but not a formal RCIC program. She would have to wait to receive the Eucharist, even as a 9 year old 4th grader. So she would enroll in the Religious Education class for her age this fall. The next year, she would enroll again, have some pull out instruction for sacrament catch up, and then receive. This church is closer to home and her school.

My personal issues are regarding her having to wait so long to receive the Eucharist and the fact that in parish #1 she and I would be together to receive the Eucharist for the first time, which is very special. Another consideration, though, is that while parish 1 is in the same town, parish 2 is much closer to home and her school, so it’s possible that she would know a lot more kids there. I’m so torn! Please help! Thank you so much!!

 

[SMHW]

Oh wow.

You’ve raised what I think are some REALLY important concerns.

My suggestion is to consider the long term. Do you plan to stay in the area? If so, then chose the parish that you would want to be attending three years from now. While RCIA is important, it is not the only reason to pick one parish over another.

Of course all this is based on your diocese allowing you to chose where you attend RCIA. Some dioceses/parishes are stricter than others as to whether or not you have to approach your territorial parish for the sacraments.

 

[pianistclare]

The most important thing is that she get the most thorough instruction.
Not that you receive together.
If she goes through RCIC she should also be confirmed at the Easter Vigil.

If she goes through classes with her peers, she will receive the Sacraments in whatever years they fall in. Many MANY kids receive after the 2nd grade, for a whole variety of reasons: parents away from the church, parents converting, parents moving around a lot, parents are immigrants, etc. There’s nothing at all wrong with receiving in the 4th or 5th grade. I have seniors in high school JUST NOW making First Holy Communion from Nigeria. We serve people where they are at.

Which group will better instruct her in the faith? A slow, 2 year process, or a one year process that may not cover all of her questions.

That’s what a parent and the Pastor has to decide together.
Make an appointment with the DRE and RCIA Director at both places.

 

[zz912]

If both parishes are faithful to Church teaching, I would lean towards the closer parish. An important part of helping her inculturate into the CC would be for her to build friendships and relationships with those at the parish. Meeting other kids her age at the parish can help her greatly.

As someone else said, keep an eye to where you will be in 3-5 years. This RCIA process could help to build some bonds with those at the parish you plan on attending full time after coming into the Church. Go to the one for RCIA you are going to attend after RCIA.

 

[rabbysmom]

Thank you for the responses! Do you think it’s odd to have a parish offer Children’s religious education classes on weekdays vs. Sunday am? Or is this common?

 

[Casilda]

My parish offers religious ed to all ages on Sunday. Also, I see the benefit of teaching and receiving whole families together, so attending rcia as a family then all being received as one family unit such as Lydia, in Acts 16

"14 And a certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira, which worshipped God, heard us: whose heart the Lord opened, that she attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul.

15 And when she was baptized, and her household, she besought us, saying, If ye have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house, and abide there."

Separating families, or one spouse from the other should be avoided. It’s probably done to mimic the modern day educational system in the US. We all know that one room schools existed throughout America where children (and siblings) all learned together.

I can only imagine the shared joy being able to walk up together to receive the Eucharist come Easter.

 

[Usige]

Thank you for the responses! Do you think it’s odd to have a parish offer Children’s religious education classes on weekdays vs. Sunday am? Or is this common?

In my area is is very rare to have religious ed on Sundays.

One question. You mention that she would be baptized on Easter if you went to the first parish. If your daughter is 7 or older (aka the age of reason) when she is baptized then she is supposed to receive all 3 sacraments of initiation (baptism, confirmation and eucharist) at the Easter vigil. If parish 2 would baptize her, but then withhold confirmation and eucharist for two years that goes against church discipline.

My two oldest children were 8 and 5 1/2 when my wife converted. My daughter received all three sacraments on the Easter Vigil with my wife. My son was baptized and then received first eucharist at 8 and confirmation at 14. Their age at time of baptism makes a difference on which sacraments are received when and in which order.

 

[St_Francis]

Thank you for the responses! Do you think it’s odd to have a parish offer Children’s religious education classes on weekdays vs. Sunday am? Or is this common?

This is not uncommon, but hard on those who live far away.

I will say that knowing other Catholic children as a child is growing up could be very beneficial, if she is likely to be friends with the children and the CCD program is really good at the church. Our CCD program was better than average, parents… so-so, but we lived far away from the church (in a rural non-Catholic area), and this did cause some problems for my children, who kind of wondered whom they would marry. The fact that such a large percentage of the parish was beyond retirement age didn’t help. (IE, few children)

So I’d say that’s a plus for the program near you, if indeed she goes to school with some of the children there, etc.

 

[PJM]

=rabby(name removed by moderator);13246342]I am entering into RCIA this fall and need some advise please. My daughter would be coming along with me and there are a couple of options at different parish’s for her. I am really torn as to where to go since they seem to offer completely different options for my daughter. I need some friendly advise and guidance if you are willing.

1st Parish: Has a formal RCIA and RCIC program. When my daughter and I go through this, on Easter Vigil I will be confirmed and receive the Eucharist and my daughter will be baptized and receive the Eucharist as well.
2nd Parish: Has a formal RCIA program but not a formal RCIC program. She would have to wait to receive the Eucharist, even as a 9 year old 4th grader. So she would enroll in the Religious Education class for her age this fall. The next year, she would enroll again, have some pull out instruction for sacrament catch up, and then receive. This church is closer to home and her school.

My personal issues are regarding her having to wait so long to receive the Eucharist and the fact that in parish #1 she and I would be together to receive the Eucharist for the first time, which is very special. Another consideration, though, is that while parish 1 is in the same town, parish 2 is much closer to home and her school, so it’s possible that she would know a lot more kids there. I’m so torn! Please help! Thank you so much!!

Thanks for asking:thumbsup:

MY recommendation as one who has taught both grade school religious education and RCIA is IF, again IF, you are willing and ABLE to continue the Faith formation for BOTH you and your daughter; go with option #1.

If for any reason you are unable to continue both your and your daughters Faith formation; then option #2 MIGHT be better.

God Bless you both!

Pray much

Patrick

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Which group will better instruct her in the faith? A slow, 2 year process, or a one year process that may not cover all of her questions.

Keeping in mind that RCIA is the beginning of one’s faith journey, not the end.

By canon law the daughter should be baptized, confirmed, and receive the Eucharist at the Easter Vigil. Whether that takes one year, two years, or more, she should receive all the sacraments of initiation and then go on to a lifetime of faith formation.

When we’ve had children in RCIA we’ve encouraged the parents and the children to continue coming to religious education classes. Even though they may not need to prepare later for confirmation, they still need to develop their faith lives and increase their knowledge, as well as have Catholic peers in their lives.

 

[pianistclare]

Thank you for the responses! Do you think it’s odd to have a parish offer Children’s religious education classes on weekdays vs. Sunday am? Or is this common?

They offer them when the space is available.
Our parish, for example has only one large meeting room. Classrooms have to be rented from the Catholic private school on the property.
A parish in the next community has a huge education building, but they also have a huge membership. They have Religious ed classes nearly every day of the week.

 

[pianistclare]

Keeping in mind that RCIA is the beginning of one’s faith journey, not the end.

By canon law the daughter should be baptized, confirmed, and receive the Eucharist at the Easter Vigil. Whether that takes one year, two years, or more, she should receive all the sacraments of initiation and then go on to a lifetime of faith formation.

When we’ve had children in RCIA we’ve encouraged the parents and the children to continue coming to religious education classes. Even though they may not need to prepare later for confirmation, they still need to develop their faith lives and increase their knowledge, as well as have Catholic peers in their lives.

Well, yes. But we know all too well that sometimes, when children receive all the Sacraments at once, we never see them in formation ever again.
It’s always a great hope that they remain in formation.

 

[Phemie]

Keeping in mind that RCIA is the beginning of one’s faith journey, not the end.

By canon law the daughter should be baptized, confirmed, and receive the Eucharist at the Easter Vigil. Whether that takes one year, two years, or more, she should receive all the sacraments of initiation and then go on to a lifetime of faith formation.

When we’ve had children in RCIA we’ve encouraged the parents and the children to continue coming to religious education classes. Even though they may not need to prepare later for confirmation, they still need to develop their faith lives and increase their knowledge, as well as have Catholic peers in their lives.

That’s a very good observation.

Our Eastern and Orthodox brothers and sisters are baptized, chrismated, and receive Communion in infancy. The children continue to receive from that moment on but the families don’t consider that being fully initiated is the end of it. They still attend religious education throughout their lives since it is, indeed, a journey of faith.

 

[pianistclare]

That’s a very good observation.

Our Eastern and Orthodox brothers and sisters are baptized, chrismated, and receive Communion in infancy. The children continue to receive from that moment on but the families don’t consider that being fully initiated is the end of it. They still attend religious education throughout their lives since it is, indeed, a journey of faith.

That’s awesome. I pray that families really grasp this, not just for the children, but also for the adults.

 

[Kal2012]

Thank you for the responses! Do you think it’s odd to have a parish offer Children’s religious education classes on weekdays vs. Sunday am? Or is this common?

It really depends on the parish.

A lot of times, they do they younger kids (K) on Sunday morning and the rest during the week.

I’ve only found one parish in our area that teaches all the kids on Sunday morning.