RCIA candidate, first time confession questons

[inHIMiTRUST85]

I am in RCIA and will be confirmed this Pentecost (Sunday)… I am excited!

I am a candidate (I was baptized previously from a church outside the Catholic faith)

2 Questions:

1. For my first confession, I have a few years of sins- many, many sins! For something that I fall into often like lust or pornography, how do I give a number to how many times I’ve done it? It could of been a 1,000 times!
2. How specific do I need to be? I’ve committed a couple of sexual perverted sins in the past that I am so ashamed of… Can I say something along the lines of “I’ve committed sexual sins” Or do I need to be more specific?

ALSO, this is a face to face confession with my priest!

God Bless, Thanks

 

[MSSheBear]

I entered the church in 2012. I was very nervous and did not do a good job. Here is my advice: First time confess only what you know is a mortal sin, that you knew it was wrong at the time and it was a serious matter. Put them in categories and give a simple but accurate description. Saying “I stole” is too vague but “I have been robbing stage coaches” should be enough. I don’t usually give a number but if you can do so.

Also mention to the priest that it is your first confession.

 

[pianistclare]

Just speak to the priest frankly…he will walk you through your confession.
Try to do a good examination of conscience before you go, and be prepared to pray the Act of Contrition (any version) at some point, either before or during confession.
It’s permissible to pray (at the end of the list of your sins) “For these and all of the sins of my past life, I am truly sorry.”

Congratulations. Welcome home.

 

[Elizium23]

ALSO, this is a face to face confession with my priest!

You have a right to confess with a fixed grille in place between you and your confessor. You can insist on this right if you feel uncomfortable going face-to-face.

 

[jmr_1985]

I am a convert and know what you are going through! First, welcome home! Second, relax. Seriously, priests have heard it all, and I mean, it all. They cannot reveal anything you say to anyone. If you do a good job examining your conscience, knowing what you need to confess and how you will say it, you can get through an entire life of sinning in about 5-10 minutes.

By Church law, we are obligated to confess grave sins in kind and number. You do not need to go into detail but you need to say enough so that the Priest understands what the sin was and the gravity of it. For example, “I stole $5 from my father” vs. “I stole $50,000 from Father Steve, who was going to deposit the money for the local orphanage.”

If it was many times, just try your best to estimate a number. You can say, hundreds of times, thousands of times, etc. Don’t spend more than a few seconds trying to come up with an estimation.

When I made my first confession, I was **extremely **ashamed. I expected the Priest to blush and run out of the confessional. But, nothing I said surprised the priest in the least.Remember that you are confessing your sins to God. The Priest is just there to hear your confession, give you advice, and pronounce absolution. Open your heart to God in the confessional and you will feel like a million bucks afterwords!

 

[Casilda]

Put them in categories and give a simple but accurate description.

Also mention to the priest that it is your first confession.

Great advice. My priest knew it was my first confession since I was a child. I had them written down and I found this simple, informative video very helpful.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=nqMww3nWHrA

Also, a lot of people here at CAF say things like, don’t worry the priest will help you through it, but I found out they really do not. They mostly are silent and if you pause they assume you are done when you might not be and are not helpful. They must be rushed.

 

[DakiniArtist]

You have a right to confess with a fixed grille in place between you and your confessor. You can insist on this right if you feel uncomfortable going face-to-face.

True, but our RCIA core team gave us the guidance to make an appointment and do our first face-to-face, which our rector prefers.

I had some NASTY stuff to confess. Embarrassing. Our rector is older and very conservative, and I adore him. So I thought it would be just awful and I would scandalize him. Nope. He was gentle and loving. He even cried a bit with me! He guided me through. I was very glad to have made first reconciliation this way. I do feel like Christ sits with the priest.

Subsequently, I use the screen weekly!

It will be so wonderful for you. After my first time I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. The sky was so blue and beautiful when I left the office. A lot of my depression and guilt was also lifted.

Please keep us posted!!!

 

[St_Francis]

You can give an estimate like 5 times a week for about 10 years, or something like that. It is really best to give some estimate of how many times.

You need to give a general statement of what the sin was, a little more specific than “sexual sin,” but you shouldn’t go into any detail.

Any *aggravating *factors, aspects which make your sin worse, should also be mentioned (so: I shoplifted once a week through high school, and talked my friends into doing it too, maybe 10 friends over that time.)

Going through an examination of conscience helps. Don’t try to figure out if you knew then it was a mortal sin, just if it’s on the list, put it on your (mental) list. That way you will not worry later that you did it “wrong.”

*Do not leave anything out due to embarrassment or something like that!!! *Deliberately leaving out a mortal sin invalidates that Confession, and leaves you in a state of mortal sin. Then you have to reconfess everything from that Confession on, any further attempts at Confession during which you left that sin out, and all the other improperly received sacraments.

Welcome to the Church–you must be so excited and happy!!!

But if you simply forget something, don’t worry at all–it will be covered by the absolution you received; just try to remember it next time you go to Confession.