RCIA Candidate is Here for Jesus

[CMGLibertas]

I agree.

I actually got a lot out of RCIA. I was heavily involved with an atheist boyfriend and my family was Protestant. Although they all were ok with my joining the Church, they weren’t thrilled, and it meant a lot to go through RCIA with others joining the Church. I enjoyed going to Sunday Mass, being dismissed with the other candidates, and discussing the Sunday readings with them.

There were times when it was not convenient to keep going to RCIA for 6 months. It’s a long commitment, and sometimes I had exams and papers and was tired. But I knew it was the way my parish had to join the Church.

I don’t think you should attack us for offering our own opinions since you asked for them.

I have also gained a great deal from RCIA - it has provided many life-changing experiences.

Not attending RCIA because I have a newborn at home is not the same as rejecting community - it’s starting a family. If, when I get home from work at 5, and it takes nearly two hours to get things stabilized enough to actually leave the house (RCIA at 7), it’s not going to happen that night.

Again, certain connotations are being inserted into my replies when none exist. You seem to have completely overlooked the fact that I am in fact keeping up with the program on my own, and am having regular discussions with dear friends and colleagues (some of which are theologians).

I’m not attacking anyone, I’m standing down a bully.

 

[CMGLibertas]

The whole POINT of RCIA is the candidates thinking for themselves, and responding to the call of God in their lives.

As Catholics we respond within community. And community requires structure and discipline. That’s what discipleship means - discipline.

And I have no agenda - just responding to your post(s) honestly.

BTW it’s individual response AND within community, not individual response OR community.

Again, you fail to comprehend my posts. If you believe I am rejecting the community part, you absolutely did not read my posts.

 

[Kal2012]

1. Practical suggestion for evening meetings:

When my husband has evening meetings, it’s a lot easier if he stays out, then goes to the meeting place. Usually, he’ll work later/eat out/go to the meeting. Or eat after the meeting. Things just work a lot easier if we don’t plan on having dinner together. It might mean driving separately or eating out if your wife is going with you.

1. I know that I tend to back off my friendships w/parents who have newborns because it’s a tough adjustment for the new parents. Everything is happening in a sleep deprived haze and everyone is trying to get into a routine. I barely remember the first couple of weeks of being home w/my son. It’s just a very overwhelming time for everyone.
2. I get wanting to show off the baby at RCIA, but that’s not the purpose of the meeting. I think it might have rubbed people the wrong way. My RCIA director is open to having our kids come, but it’s just distracting for everyone.

After one of the rites, I brought my son to the meeting and another brought her two sons and they spent the entire time going around and around in the swivel chairs. Yes, it kept them amused, but it was distracting and I spent more time paying attention to his needs than the actual discussion. Personally, I found that I got more out of our regular classes than the Sunday sessions because of people going in and out and kids and distractions.

Thankfully, I only have one more Sunday where that will be an issue and half the time he will be in the parish nursery.

1. I’m in a small RCIA class and I don’t think any of us have attended all the sessions. I know one person travels a lot for work and most of us have kids (under 5). Sometimes, it’s just hard to make it work, despite the best of intentions.

 

[CMGLibertas]

1. Practical suggestion for evening meetings:

When my husband has evening meetings, it’s a lot easier if he stays out, then goes to the meeting place. Usually, he’ll work later/eat out/go to the meeting. Or eat after the meeting. Things just work a lot easier if we don’t plan on having dinner together. It might mean driving separately or eating out if your wife is going with you.

1. I know that I tend to back off my friendships w/parents who have newborns because it’s a tough adjustment for the new parents. Everything is happening in a sleep deprived haze and everyone is trying to get into a routine. I barely remember the first couple of weeks of being home w/my son. It’s just a very overwhelming time for everyone.
2. I get wanting to show off the baby at RCIA, but that’s not the purpose of the meeting. I think it might have rubbed people the wrong way. My RCIA director is open to having our kids come, but it’s just distracting for everyone.

After one of the rites, I brought my son to the meeting and another brought her two sons and they spent the entire time going around and around in the swivel chairs. Yes, it kept them amused, but it was distracting and I spent more time paying attention to his needs than the actual discussion. Personally, I found that I got more out of our regular classes than the Sunday sessions because of people going in and out and kids and distractions.

Thankfully, I only have one more Sunday where that will be an issue and half the time he will be in the parish nursery.

1. I’m in a small RCIA class and I don’t think any of us have attended all the sessions. I know one person travels a lot for work and most of us have kids (under 5). Sometimes, it’s just hard to make it work, despite the best of intentions.

I actually used to just go to the gym a second time after work before RCIA, and then meet my wife there. Now that we have a newborn who eats every 1-2 hours, she insists I come home and keep the burden of commuting off of her, which I gladly will do.

We are not interested in showing off our newborn so much as understanding the necessity of him to be with his parents - especially the one who feeds him. Since you have children, you understand the cycle of care that can extend a simple changing/feeding/burping/attention session straight into the next one. It is pointless to take that on the road.

Yes, this is an overwhelming, but amazing time. The only real detractor has been the abuse we’ve incurred as result of not submitting to controlling behavior.

We have actually only missed a handful of sessions and a handful of RCIA masses. I had Influenza A and B in January (yeah, not going to RCIA with that) and since my wife a rather uncomfortable pregnancy, I was not about to be an hour away/leave for three hours when she was home in pain, waiting for labor to start.

We will finish RCIA, but will likely attend other parishes until we find the right one. As a Catholic, attending mass at different parishes is a wonderful experience. Once the little one gets a little older and I no longer have three jobs (one is temporary, the other is only busy during this time of year), I will attend more daily masses.

 

[CMGLibertas]

Think of it as the cross you have to carry to join God’s Church.

Indeed, that what I have concluded. An adviser informed me that, with the final rites so close, we would be tested. I know this to be true.

 

[triumphguy]

Again, you fail to comprehend my posts. If you believe I am rejecting the community part, you absolutely did not read my posts.

Since I obviously don’t understand your posts then please just take any wisdom you can from mine.

 

[StudentMI]

Indeed, that what I have concluded. An adviser informed me that, with the final rites so close, we would be tested. I know this to be true.

But perhaps the test is coming in the form of impatience on your part. As far as your newborn is concerned, a woman in my class had a baby a couple months after classes began. She missed maybe one or two classes, one Mass, and then was back. I understand with your wife having a difficult pregnancy it’s not the same, but aren’t there family who could watch the baby while you two go? Or could you go and bring material back for her to study? Perhaps you could ask her sponsor to come over and help her study? Or arrange for your sponsor and hers to attend a different Mass with you guys?

I’m also curious (forgive me if it’s rude) why your sponsors invited you guys over to lunch, and then became rude? Was it something you guys said? Perhaps you became sensitive to talk of your marriage, or criticism of Protestant churches? In one post you said

While our wedding did not occur within the Church, it was beautiful and is very special to my wife and I - but the pastoral associate found it necessary to slam that (in addition to my protestant background).

so I thought the criticism of Protestantism may have insulted you. I hope this isn’t rude. It’s not intended as such. If you wanted to, you could PM me if you want to talk privately.

 

[suissemissed]

I appreciate your response, and will respond first to your question: I am not totally clear on why exactly we need a convalidation. Fortunately, I have a very dear friend who is a deacon at another local parish, and he filled in the blanks left by the pastoral associate. Apparently, we need the convalidation because I was not baptized catholic, but my wife was.

While our wedding did not occur within the Church, it was beautiful and is very special to my wife and I - but the pastoral associate found it necessary to slam that (in addition to my protestant background).

Okay, so if your wife was baptized Catholic, did she renounce the Faith at any time before your wedding ceremony? Specifically, did she join a Protestant church or another religion entirely? Your deacon friend may have advised you of this already, and it’s not my desire to intrude into people’s private lives, but I feel the matter is serious enough to mention: If your wife did not renounce the Catholic Faith before your wedding, then in the eyes of the Church (and God) you are not validly married, and thus are not able to morally exercise the marital rights. It would be considered a grave sin if you did so knowingly, depriving you of justification.

The reason you are not validly married (if your wife indeed did not renounce the Faith) is because, as a Catholic, she failed to seek permission from her bishop to marry a non-Catholic Christian, and did not have the wedding witnessed by a properly constituted priest or deacon.

I am not saying this to judge you, but only to advise you as a Christian brother. Your ceremony may have given you many wonderful memories, and the pastor should not have slammed that as he did, but if you are not validly married in the eyes of God, it’s extremely important that that be rectified. Until then, the Church warns people in that situation that they must live as brother and sister until the convalidation takes place. As I said, they risk mortal sin otherwise. I don’t know the circumstances, but the pastor may simply have been caring about your souls, just going about it in the wrong way.

God bless you, and I will still pray for your family. If you would, please pray for my mine as well