RCIA Conundrum in WY

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KerriHartman

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My deacon suggested that I speak with my parish’s priest to ensure that I can be confirmed in the Faith with the rest of my class during Easter.

Soooo, after class tonight I approached my priest as requested. He stated that I may not be able to join the Church as I have been married and divorced (outside of the church) without a present annulment in place. I was respectful when I pointed out that Canon law does not prohibit me from joining and partaking in the sacraments (other than marriage…obviously) if I am not remarried and not dating.

His response was that we needed to look into the future and what could happen if/when I start dating again. I assured him that had no problem going through the anullment process, but that should not preclude me from joining the Faith.

With due respect to the Church and my priest, what recourse do I have?

Blessings,
Kerri
 
Wow. I have never heard of anyone being excluded from joining the Church because of being divorced and NOT remarried. 🤔

There are a couple of canon lawyers who sometimes post on CAF – perhaps one of them can give some insight into this matter.
 
i don’t want to get too deeply involved in these highly personal issues

you are not excluded from joining the catholic church
 
These kinds of issues are always difficult. I strongly recommend to people who are divorced and in RCIA that they pursue getting a declaration of nullity so that they will know their status regarding marriage.

We never know what the future might hold. It is possible that you may meet someone and want to marry. What would be devastating then would be to go to the Tribunal about your previous marriage and find out that your first marriage was valid and you can’t marry in the Church. Then you would be facing the question of either giving up your love or giving up on being a practicing Catholic.

If you apply for a declaration of nullity now you will know where things stand. You’ll either find out that you’re free to pursue a relationship and marry or that this is not open to you.
 
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This is something that should have been brought up as soon as you started RCIA. It is one of the first question we’re asked where I live when we have a private talk with one of the RCIA teachers (priests or deacons).

Edit, I should have added that every priest and deacon I know hate to having to ask the question if someone had divorced their spouse.
 
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You should talk to the pastor again about this. I suspect that there is some other concern here.
 
KerriHartman said:
My deacon suggested that I speak with my parish’s priest to ensure that I can be confirmed in the Faith with the rest of my class during Easter.
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Are you already baptized? The Catholic Church presupposes that a marriage between two non-Catholics is valid. There is no guarantee that the marriage will be declared null by a tribunal.

“The Candidates may be received into the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil or at another Sunday during the year depending on pastoral circumstances and readiness of the Candidate.”

USCCB has:
Coming into full communion with the Catholic Church describes the process for entrance into the Catholic Church for already baptized Christians. In most cases, these individuals make a profession of faith but are not baptized again. To prepare for this reception, the people, who are called Candidates, usually participate in a formation program to help them understand and experience the teachings and practices of the Catholic Church. Although some preparation may be with Catechumens preparing for baptism, the preparation for Candidates is different since they have already been baptized and committed to Jesus Christ, and many have also been active members of other Christian communities. The Candidates may be received into the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil or at another Sunday during the year depending on pastoral circumstances and readiness of the Candidate.
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http://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/who-we-teach/rite-of-christian-initiation-of-adults/
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
These kinds of issues are always difficult. I strongly recommend to people who are divorced and in RCIA that they pursue getting a declaration of nullity so that they will know their status regarding marriage.

We never know what the future might hold. It is possible that you may meet someone and want to marry. What would be devastating then would be to go to the Tribunal about your previous marriage and find out that your first marriage was valid and you can’t marry in the Church. Then you would be facing the question of either giving up your love or giving up on being a practicing Catholic.

If you apply for a declaration of nullity now you will know where things stand. You’ll either find out that you’re free to pursue a relationship and marry or that this is not open to you.
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OK, this line of reasoning is really confusing me.

Is it really the teaching of the Catholic Church to bar entrance to full communion to someone because of what “may” happen down the road?

I see nothing posted so far except people saying “what if?” What is the actual teaching of the Church on this?

Sure it would be great to know where one stands with regard to the possibility of future relationships. But are some suggesting that if the OP does not receive a decree of nullity that she won’t enter the Church?

What about all those folks sitting in the pews who are cradle Catholics and divorced without having ever applied for an annulment?

I am seriously flummoxed by this line of reasoning.

Does anyone have anything official from the Church regarding this situation?
 
I didn’t say it was a bar to becoming Catholic, I said it was strongly recommended. Someone needs to understand that they are divorced civilly but considered married as far as the Church is concerned. They cannot date and make plans to marry again unless they receive a declaration of nullify and that is not guaranteed.
 
Gertabelle said:
Is it really the teaching of the Catholic Church to bar entrance to full communion to someone because of what “may” happen down the road?
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NO!

My wife was a widow and Catholic and I was a divorced man and a Methodist. We legally married civilly but I could not get an annulment. I was allowed to go through RCIA and convert to the Catholic faith by promising that we would live a life of continence (no sexual relationship).
 
KerriHartman said:
With due respect to the Church and my priest, what recourse do I have?
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I would encourage you to continue dialog with your priest, and not look for “recourse”.

Having been involved in RCIA for a very long time, I can tell you that this does happen. People join the church without going through the nullity process, go through the process and get a negative finding meaning their marriage is valid, and then they leave the faith because they have someone else they want to marry or they are already married and their marriage cannot be recognized by the church.

The priest is acting prudently. While in your heart you may know or believe that you would not leave the church even if it meant you could never marry in the future, this happens enough the priests who are the pastors of souls need to take care. Get to know your priest, talk with him openly about this, your feelings etc. if he wants you to wait, I would encourage you to be obedient and wait
 
Not excluded, postponed.

Ultimately it is the pastor’s decision to confirm and bring Someone into full communion.
 
Not every divorced and civilly remarried person is willing to live as sister or brother. Their spouse may also have problems with it as it is not something that was agreed upon when entering into relationship. In those cases it is better to go through the process of having the first marriage looked into.

When being received into the Catholic Church is not supposed to break a relationship especially if there are dependent children in the picture. In those cases it is better to wait, for example one spouse wants to be Catholic but the other threatens with divorce.
 
I’d begin the process of having your marriage investigated.

If it is found null the priest may be willing to reconsider. If he is not find another priest.

If your marriage is not found null and you are willing to live in celibacy find another priest who is willing to work with you.

This should not prevent you from entering the Church.
 
You can work with your priest to start the marriage case process. I was in your position when I converted, divorced but not remarried. I was strongly encouraged to petition the tribunal to investigate my marriage. I was received in the Church at Easter without a ruling on my marriage. I think I was able to go ahead as I had started the process.
 
KerriHartman said:
My deacon suggested that I speak with my parish’s priest to ensure that I can be confirmed in the Faith with the rest of my class during Easter.

Soooo, after class tonight I approached my priest as requested. He stated that I may not be able to join the Church as I have been married and divorced (outside of the church) without a present annulment in place. I was respectful when I pointed out that Canon law does not prohibit me from joining and partaking in the sacraments (other than marriage…obviously) if I am not remarried and not dating.

His response was that we needed to look into the future and what could happen if/when I start dating again. I assured him that had no problem going through the anullment process, but that should not preclude me from joining the Faith.

With due respect to the Church and my priest, what recourse do I have?

Blessings,
Kerri
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I think you should contact the diocese about this. Contact the office of the Judicial Vicar (not just whoever happens to answer the phone).
 
Thank you Vico…but no, there aren’t any other reasons. I was baptized and confirmed in the ELCA Lutheran faith.
 
@SuscipeMeDomine

I fully understand the need for nullity. In fact I spoke at great length about this prior to joining RCIA and have studied Canon law. I was married to a non-practicing Catholic man by a justice of the peace. It was his second marriage and never had his first annulled.

Moreover, he divorced me when he fell in love with another woman. He and I have healed to the point of being friends and he has already agreed to do everything necessary for me to be able to join the Church.
 
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