RCIA Conundrum in WY

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The majority I speak with, mostly do not have a favorable view of the annulment process.
 
Could it be that those who did wouldn’t be the ones you seek to discuss your issue with it?
 
I don’t have an issue. Mine is finished.
I have yet to speak to anyone who found it pleasant or delightful.
 
7_Sorrows said:
I have yet to speak to anyone who found it pleasant or delightful.
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It’s not supposed to be either of those. ‘Cathartic’, perhaps. ‘Providing closure’, one might assert. But ‘delightful’? When’s the last time you had a a root canal that was ‘delightful’?!? 🤔
 
So you compare it to a root canal? Only it lasts longer. No, it did not provide closure nor did I find it cathartic.
 
As @Gorgias said it isn’t supposed to be those things at all. But most of us who have been through the process, I would say the majority of us who have been through the process found something other than resentment & bitterness at the end.

Going with the root canal example, no one wants one but in order to remove the infection it must be done. In the end you have a clean strong tooth. Why would you curse the dentist and the process he had to use to get there? Yes it hurts but something good came from it. You move on from it.
 
KerriHartman said:
@SuscipeMeDomine

I fully understand the need for nullity. In fact I spoke at great length about this prior to joining RCIA and have studied Canon law. I was married to a non-practicing Catholic man by a justice of the peace. It was his second marriage and never had his first annulled.

Moreover, he divorced me when he fell in love with another woman. He and I have healed to the point of being friends and he has already agreed to do everything necessary for me to be able to join the Church.
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Ok, get the annulment process started right away. Based on the sounds of this (assuming you didn’t leave anything out) this should be quick because your Catholic husband wasn’t free to marry you in the first place.

Perhaps there is still time to get you confirmed, unless there is something going on too.

God Bless
 
I don’t know the circumstances of your marriage and you don’t know the circumstances of mine, so instead of judging how I am supposed to feel before, during or after the annulment or about the process is really a self righteous attitude to have.
I am thankful it is over. I appreciate the work my advocate and the Tribunal did and I was relieved with the decision, but I still found it painful and stressful and I feel very conflicted about it. I have not
experienced any healing from the process.
 
What I don’t understand is that when I was in RCIA there was no inquiry at all as to my marital status.

It was only after I had been confirmed and my wife and I wanted to have our marriage blessed by the Church that our pastor asked if either one of us had been in a prior marriage (the answer was no).
 
tad said:
What I don’t understand is that when I was in RCIA there was no inquiry at all as to my marital status.

It was only after I had been confirmed and my wife and I wanted to have our marriage blessed by the Church that our pastor asked if either one of us had been in a prior marriage (the answer was no).
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The background and education of people working with RCIA varies widely. And marriage issues can be so difficult that I understand why some RCIA leaders are reluctant to raise the issue. To me it seems very basic to get information about an inquirer’s marital status and also to ask about whether there are children at home, whether they’re baptized, etc. so that we can start to meet the needs of the whole family.
 
I would be puzzled too. How long ago was it you went through RCIA?
 
OP looks like an attractive young woman from her profile picture. It may very well be that whoever is requiring her to get an annulment is assuming, based upon her looks, that she will naturally want to get married again. Because of course, she is beautiful, men will ask her out, and she will say yes… There is a lot of assuming there if that is the case. It is just my guess - I could be wrong, and anyone who made those assumptions about her could be wrong. I think assumptions like that are unfair and a decision to require an annulment based upon that assumption would unjustly delay or deny her entry into the church.

The same assumption (that they will want to re-marry) might not be made for an older person.
 
Sorry. Don’t mind this post. There are two annulment threads and I had this confused with the other one.
I apologize.
 
Thanks for your reply. Even at the time I thought the people leading RCIA at my parish were teaching a form of Catholicism ‘lite’ and were more concerned about not scaring anyone off instead of giving us a good grounding in the faith.

There were other irregularities as well, but I don’t want to derail the OP’s thread. This was 15 years ago, but I still wonder today what’s going on at my parish. It’s sending mixed signals.
 
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I would guess the same about you, “gorgeous.” Just kidding!!!
 
anon64350612 said:
I would guess the same about you, “gorgeous.” Just kidding!!!
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LOL!

I guess, in charity, I would hope that a priest wouldn’t look at a parishioner and (based on any criterion – age, gender, appearance) have the default thought, “they’re gonna try to marry without first getting an annulment!!!”.

At least, that’s what I’d hope. I’d sure like to hope that my pastor doesn’t look at me and jump to any conclusions (even though in my case that would likely be, “oh, that poor guy’s too grey and too mean to ever worry about an annulment for him”…!)

😉
 
Gorgias said:
LOL!

I guess, in charity, I would hope that a priest wouldn’t look at a parishioner and (based on any criterion – age, gender, appearance) have the default thought, “they’re gonna try to marry without first getting an annulment!!!”.

At least, that’s what I’d hope. I’d sure like to hope that my pastor doesn’t look at me and jump to any conclusions (even though in my case that would likely be, “oh, that poor guy’s too grey and too mean to ever worry about an annulment for him”…!)

😉
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And we don’t deal in hypotheticals.

Someone seeking to enter the Church is either eligible or not eligible. That’s determined by canon law. While it’s true that the priest must discern certain un-measurable things like sincerity, he cannot place objective burdens on people beyond what the law itself requires.

Yes, it’s certainly better to get the marriage situation resolved before being received into the Church, but this particular situation is not an obstacle to becoming Catholic.
 
KerriHartman said:
My deacon suggested that I speak with my parish’s priest to ensure that I can be confirmed in the Faith with the rest of my class during Easter.

Soooo, after class tonight I approached my priest as requested. He stated that I may not be able to join the Church as I have been married and divorced (outside of the church) without a present annulment in place. I was respectful when I pointed out that Canon law does not prohibit me from joining and partaking in the sacraments (other than marriage…obviously) if I am not remarried and not dating.

His response was that we needed to look into the future and what could happen if/when I start dating again. I assured him that had no problem going through the anullment process, but that should not preclude me from joining the Faith.

With due respect to the Church and my priest, what recourse do I have?

Blessings,
Kerri
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After about 60 replies, let me reiterate what I posted earlier:

I suggest you contact the Judicial Vicar for your diocese. Don’t call the generic chancery phone and ask for anyone. Contact the Judicial Vicar and explain your situation.

In the meantime, submit the petition for nullity based on lack of canonical form to your diocese (through your local parish).
 
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