RCIA dilemma

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efoster988

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Looking for peoples opinions on a choice I’m being faced with.

Let me start by saying I will be talking to the priest at my local parish about this dilemma also.

I am going through a divorce and my Lawyer advised me to wait on on getting involved in RCIA. He thinks that wanting to convert right now would be a mistake and I should wait until after the divorce. He thinks it would be viewed as a manipulation because turning Catholic was something my wife had wanted for me since the beginning of our marriage.

Why I’m torn is because I understand how my wife would think I am using God to try to win her back (manipulate her). If I were honest with myself, there is a small part of me that thinks becoming Catholic would prove to her how much I want this relationship to work. Which is obviously a wrong reason to convert.

That being said there have been a lot of things happening in my life for the better lately. I feel that God really has been listening to my prayers, and is answering them as well. Because of this I want more. I want to hand my life over to him completely, not just when its convenient for me. Having lived my life in sin for so many years, to feel Gods grace upon me for the first time in my life has given me the strength to do things I thought I could never do before.

So whats the right thing…follow my heart or listen to my lawyer?
 
there is probably more behind his advice than this, you are paying him so listen to him in everything with regards to your divorce (I am assuming you are long past the stage of possible reconciliation, if not, do anything you can to make that happen). That is not to say you cannot begin the RCIA process if the group in your parish meet at this time of the year, or speak to your priest about your situation.

Welcome Home!
 
Given this a little thought.
I have decided to continue with the RCIA process. I am however, going to have to stop posting on this site until everything regarding my divorce is settled. Being that she knows of this site and most likely reads everything I post, there is to much potential for my postings to be interpreted incorrectly.

Please pray for me as I continue RCIA. I hope to return to this site in the future to share many wonderful experiences.

God Bless.:amen:
 
I will pray for you as well, God be with you… If you happen to read this, just move forward deliberatly, always be well aware of the danger of converting for the wrong reason as you already posted your self. You don’t want to be like the seed that fell upoon the stony earth (Matthew 13:5).
 
You will have to get an annulment before you can fully be accepted in the church. RCIA will put you in inquiry, wherer you will be till the annulment goes through - at least a year. Only then can you start your path to becomming fully catholic.
 
=efoster988;6587454]Looking for peoples opinions on a choice I’m being faced with.
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Let me start by saying I will be talking to the priest at my local parish about this dilemma also.
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I am going through a divorce and my Lawyer advised me to wait on on getting involved in RCIA. He thinks that wanting to convert right now would be a mistake and I should wait until after the divorce. He thinks it would be viewed as a manipulation because turning Catholic was something my wife had wanted for me since the beginning of our marriage.
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Why I’m torn is because I understand how my wife would think I am using God to try to win her back (manipulate her). If I were honest with myself, there is a small part of me that thinks becoming Catholic would prove to her how much I want this relationship to work. Which is obviously a wrong reason to convert.
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That being said there have been a lot of things happening in my life for the better lately. I feel that God really has been listening to my prayers, and is answering them as well. Because of this I want more. I want to hand my life over to him completely, not just when its convenient for me. Having lived my life in sin for so many years, to feel Gods grace upon me for the first time in my life has given me the strength to do things I thought I could never do before.
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So whats the right thing…follow my heart or listen to my lawyer?
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**Friend, you well advided to seek the advice of your Pastor. This is NOT a decession that you ought to try to make on your own.

May God grant you Wisdom and Peace!**
 
I will pray for your conversion to the faith of Christ and for the preservation of you marriage.
 
Antnira said:
You will have to get an annulment before you can fully be accepted in the church. RCIA will put you in inquiry, wherer you will be till the annulment goes through - at least a year. Only then can you start your path to becomming fully catholic.
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Divorced, but not remarried, people are fully accepted in the church.
 
you’re seriously asking us if you should listen to your lawyer in regards to your personal/spiritual life?
 
Antnira said:
You will have to get an annulment before you can fully be accepted in the church. RCIA will put you in inquiry, wherer you will be till the annulment goes through - at least a year. Only then can you start your path to becomming fully catholic.
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An annulment would only be required if he was in an invalid marriage at the time of his coming into the Church. Divorce alone is not an impediment to being accepted into the Church. 🙂
 
Everyone,

Just wanted to give a brief update on my progress. I am making good progress in becoming ready for the right of acceptance to become a candidate. At this point I will need a sponsor. This is where it gets interesting and will be a topic of discussion at next weeks inquiry meeting.

I was hanging out with an old high school friend yesterday and I mentioned to him that I was involved with RCIA and converting to Catholicism. His response was good for you man! Which was then followed up with him stating he would be my sponsor if I was interested. At first I thought it was a joke, because he is Catholic but not currently practicing. I then pressed the issue a little and he seemed genuinely willing to help me become Catholic.

This is where it gets really good. Today at mass we were celebrating the feast of Pentecost. The priest was talking about allowing the Holy spirit to move you to spread God’s word…ect.

I can’t help but wonder if God is calling me to accept my friends offer of sponsorship. So that I might help him return to his beliefs. While at the same time he helps me on my journey to becoming Catholic? It almost seems like a two for one deal 😃

Like I said this will be addressed at next weeks inquiry, but I wanted to share with others to see what there opinions were.
 
Hope this works out for you. I can just see you teaching each other. God’s blessings.
 
I think you have to be a practicing Catholic to be a sponsor. I remember reading that somewhere?
 
check this link:
catholic.com/thisrock/quickquestions/keyword/sponsor

There are several answers to read.

Bottom line seems to be that a sponsor must be a confirmed, practicing, Catholic who regularly receives the Eucharist. From my personal experience, I think you need a sponsor who knows and lives Church teachings. You want someone you can ask questions of and get advice from–someone who has the background and knowledge to help you grow in faith and get through tough times on the way to confirmation.

Your non-practicing friend might not be the best choice. Instead, why don’t you ask him to attend RCIA classes with you, and go out for an adult beverage afterwards to talk about what you heard? It’s great to think that the Holy Spirit might have put you two together to draw each other into (or back into) His Church, but it might be as buds and not as sponsor-confirmandi.
 
Thank you Gwen, very good advice. I have a hunch this will be the same message I get Saturday 😉
 
efoster988 said:
Everyone,

Just wanted to give a brief update on my progress. I am making good progress in becoming ready for the right of acceptance to become a candidate. At this point I will need a sponsor. This is where it gets interesting and will be a topic of discussion at next weeks inquiry meeting.

I was hanging out with an old high school friend yesterday and I mentioned to him that I was involved with RCIA and converting to Catholicism. His response was good for you man! Which was then followed up with him stating he would be my sponsor if I was interested. At first I thought it was a joke, because he is Catholic but not currently practicing.
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Forget it. How is this guy supposed to lead you in your walk in Christ when he is not doing it himself? Being a sponsor is not about being a social pal or a guy who shows up at the rituals, like Godparents for Baptism. The sponsor should be a practicing, active Catholic who is able to bear witness to Christ in their OWN lives, motivating you to seek Christ out, as well. If Christ is not an active part of his life, he cannot be a good sponsor.

Invite him to the rituals, invite him to take his faith more seriously, as you are, invite him to your meetings, to your Sunday dismissals - evangelize HIM!!! But don’t let him convince you to be your sponsor… You would be much better off with a holy Catholic stranger than a long time buddy who’s a nominal Catholic. You won’t learn anything about experiencing Jesus Christ through him.

Regards
 
fdesales said:
Forget it. How is this guy supposed to lead you in your walk in Christ when he is not doing it himself? Being a sponsor is not about being a social pal or a guy who shows up at the rituals, like Godparents for Baptism. The sponsor should be a practicing, active Catholic who is able to bear witness to Christ in their OWN lives, motivating you to seek Christ out, as well. If Christ is not an active part of his life, he cannot be a good sponsor.

Invite him to the rituals, invite him to take his faith more seriously, as you are, invite him to your meetings, to your Sunday dismissals - evangelize HIM!!! But don’t let him convince you to be your sponsor… You would be much better off with a holy Catholic stranger than a long time buddy who’s a nominal Catholic. You won’t learn anything about experiencing Jesus Christ through him.

Regards
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I think you don’t really understand what an RCIA sponsor is supposed to be sales, they don’t do any leading what so ever. I most certainly didn’t lead my candidate at all, because leading and instruction is the job of the RCIA instructors.

Sponsors are supposed to be along for the ride, we’re someone to walk with so the candidates and catechumans have someone to walk with. The only real issue I would think would be whether this person scandalously and obstenently rejects the teachings of the Catholic Church. If that is the case then this person might prove a hinderence. But if they’ve mearly fallen away, and are perhaps thinking about coming back and maybe see this as a good way to reconnect and provide companionship on the journey then there’s nothing wrong with this person being a sponsor.

Pope John Paul II (I think it was) talked about how the RCIA process was designed to re-enthuse the Catholic Church, this is exactly what he was talking about. You get fallen away Catholics involved in the process of helping converts come into the Church. In the process the cradle catholics are exposed to the energy and spirit present durring the process and them selves become converted.
 
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