RCIA Discernment

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CB_Catholic said:
And you have to be interviewed by someone not the Director and who questions your faith after you’ve been attending all these sessions?
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The Director will be there as well as one of the Catechists that teaches our classes to decide. I always thought it was the Director, the person, and their sponser…
 
Irish, is there anything going on in your life that is causing people to pause?

(the following questions are not for you to answer publicly just wondering if there are reasons for the RCIA team to be concerned)

Are there any previous marriages that need to be resolved?
Do you live with your boyfriend?

I also am part of our RCIA team in my parish and those things tend to make matters a little messy going forward sometimes.

Again, please dont answer them, Im just putting things out there that cause our RCIA to have to deal with some issues.
 
I am half way through the annulment process and they keep thinking by boyfriend and I are engaged and planning on getting engaged or married soon. He is a Catholic as well, and we both agreed to take things slow and wait till the annulment is over with before we even talk about getting married again. He is a devout Catholic and wants us to do everything right in the eyes of God and our church. We explained this to them repeatedly, but we keep on getting questioned by it. It has caused so many problems in our relationship that it’s not even funny, we even almost broke up over it so many times. He even agrees that they act like us dating is holding me back, which caused us to break up a few times. We cannot figure out why they keep doing this, he is half tempted to quit being my sponser and continue to attend his Parish.
 
IrishIvy said:
I am half way through the annulment process and they keep thinking by boyfriend and I are engaged and planning on getting engaged or married soon. He is a Catholic as well, and we both agreed to take things slow and wait till the annulment is over with before we even talk about getting married again. He is a devout Catholic and wants us to do everything right in the eyes of God and our church. We explained this to them repeatedly, but we keep on getting questioned by it. It has caused so many problems in our relationship that it’s not even funny, we even almost broke up over it so many times. He even agrees that they act like us dating is holding me back, which caused us to break up a few times. We cannot figure out why they keep doing this, he is half tempted to quit being my sponsor and continue to attend his Parish.
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Okay, this is it, then - you actually are not supposed to be dating, or even thinking about members of the opposite sex until you become free to marry (that is, when or if you become an unmarried woman).

At this time in your life, you have to consider yourself married, and you have to behave like a married lady (even though your husband happens to be absent at the moment) - which means, no dating.
 
IrishIvy said:
The Director will be there as well as one of the Catechists that teaches our classes to decide. I always thought it was the Director, the person, and their sponser…
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Things are run differently in different parishes, I guess. In ours one of the Deacons runs the program and the other one assists. They and the priests do most of the teaching and the rest of the team is assigned a topic for presentation. We have no say in who goes forward, but if a candidate or catechumen appears to have a problem about something we or the sponsor can let the Deacon know and he can address it. Our Pastor knows the candidates and the catechumens even though he is not there every week, and if a problem occured, he would be apprised of it.

The few times there has been a problem and a candidate has not gone forward, we were given no info on that, just that the person will not be completing the course at this time. We might have surmised something was up, but it is not discussed. That’s why I can’t understand why a Catechist or anyone other than the sponser and the Director or Pastor should be involved.
 
IrishIvy said:
I have two sponsers, my best friend who ended up becoming my boyfriend, and one that they RCIA people requested for me. One of our class teachers and I worked together, and she lied to me (from what I found out and she even admited) so she could take over my job. I have heard her bad mouthing me and saying these really truely hurtful things about me, and now she is going to be in the room with the head RCIA director to decide if I am ready to procede or not. Is there anything I can do about this due to our past conflict?
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certainly, speak to the director before hand and explain the work situation and ask that someone else be with the director and your sponsor to help you discern your progress. If that result is negative make an appointment with the pastor. In fact I would have brought it up with the director or pastor the first time it happened and questioned whether this peson should be teaching at all.

In this parish the pastor interviews anyone who is unsure or negative about their progress. I have been doing RCIA for many years and don’t feel as a lay person I have that right to make such decisions, nor the spiritual wisdom to discern conversions.
 
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