RCIA Easter Vigil: non-Catholic stand-in for unavailable Catholic sponsor?

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ryanmac

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My wife and I, along with our brand new son are going to enter the Catholic Church this Easter.

My brother and his wife are the only Catholics in our family (recent converts as well). Unfortunately they live across the country, and are not able to join us for our family’s celebration at Easter Vigil.

My parents on the other hand are baptized faithful Christians, but not Catholic (yet). They are flying in for Easter.

I’m curious if my brother and his wife could be our official (though remote) sponsors, and have my parents celebrate with us in their place as proxies.

Is this feasible? If not what else do you recommend? We don’t know any other Catholics in our parish (yet).
 
Have you talked about this with your RCIA team? It seems awfully far into the process for you not to have sponsors yet. Who stood with you during your Rite of Acceptance (or Welcoming)?
 
Yes, good question. One of the RCIA team members stood in for us during the Rite of Acceptance.
 
You should check with your RCIA director first. Your brother and sister-in-law can certainly be your sponsors without being present at the Easter Vigil, but wouldn’t it make more sense for their stand ins to be Catholic also? Welcome to our Faith Community!
 
Thanks. Yes, I’ve sent a note to the pastor directing RCIA. But if I only did that I’d never have to visit this site. 😉
 
When I was received into the Church last year, I was told that any proxy sponsors would also have to be practicing Catholics.
 
ryanmac said:
Yes, good question. One of the RCIA team members stood in for us during the Rite of Acceptance.
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And who will be with you at the Rite of Election and during the Scrutinies? As you enter Lent your sponsor will be an important figure through all of the rites. Equally, your sponsor should have been an important figure up to now by accompanying you through all of the process, supporting you, answering questions, introducing you to the parish, praying for you, etc. I’m having trouble imagining how someone could get up to (almost) Lent and not have had a sponsor.
 
As I said, I am a convert. My whole world is filled with faithful Protestants, but I have very few Catholics in my life at this point. And those I do have do not live nearby. I appreciate the concern, but I’m more interested in support. Quite frankly it concerns my wife and I that we haven’t found more community in the local Catholic church. But we believe that if we’re faithful to God, He’ll lead us into faithful community here.
 
Some rules for the sacrament of confirmation can be found in Sancta Missa - Table of Contents here, with the relevant part here at points 14 to 18:

'14. In accordance with a most ancient custom of the Church, there should be a sponsor if one can be had, just as in baptism.
  1. The sponsor may act as such only for one or two parties, unless the minister decides otherwise for a good reason; but no recipient is to have more than one sponsor.
    1. To act as sponsor it is required:
      (a) that the person is confirmed, has attained the use of reason, and has the intention of acting as such;
      (b) that he does not belong to a heretical or schismatic sect, is not excommunicated either by condemnatory or declaratory sentence, nor legally infamous, debarred from legal acts, nor a deposed or degraded cleric;
      (c) is not the father, mother, or spouse of the one being confirmed;
      (d) that he is chosen by the recipient or the parents or guardians, or if these are wanting or decline, by the minister or pastor;
      (e) that during the act of confirming he or a proxy physically touch the recipient.
    2. To lawfully act as sponsor it is required:
      (a) that the person is not the same as the sponsor for baptism, unless confirmation is conferred immediately after baptism, or the minister decides in favor of it for a good reason;
      (b) that the person is of the same sex as the recipient, unless the minister decides otherwise in a particular case for a good reason;
      (c) that he has reached the age of fourteen, unless the minister sees fit to admit a younger person for a good reason;
      (d) that he is not excommunicated for a notorious crime, nor excluded from legal acts, nor legally infamous (even though no sentence has been issued to that effect), nor interdicted, nor a public criminal, nor infamous in fact;
      (e) that he knows the rudiments of faith;
      (f) that he is neither a novice in religion nor a professed religious, unless necessity urges it and the sponsor has the express permission from at least the local superior;
      (g) that he is not in sacred orders, unless he has the express permission of the local Ordinary.
    3. A spiritual affinity between the sponsor and the confirmed results from a valid confirmation, by force of which the sponsor is obligated ever to regard his godchild as a personal charge, and to see to his Christian upbringing. However, this spiritual relationship does not constitute an impediment to matrimony.’
The document has a Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur.

16(e) does seem to suggest that a proxy could play the ‘role’ of sponsor in the Easter Vigil itself while your brother and sister-in-law could still maintain the position of sponsor. I cannot tell, however, if the proxy would need to be Catholic, though. (I would assume they probably would need to be).

I would say, however, (as others have) that the appropriate (and probably simplest) thing to do would be to approach the RCIA co-ordinator and ask for their help in sorting the matter. Also, I would second what SuscipeMeDomine has said about having somebody with you through the whole process.
 
ryanmac said:
My wife and I, along with our brand new son are going to enter the Catholic Church this Easter.

My brother and his wife are the only Catholics in our family (recent converts as well). Unfortunately they live across the country, and are not able to join us for our family’s celebration at Easter Vigil.

My parents on the other hand are baptized faithful Christians, but not Catholic (yet). They are flying in for Easter.

I’m curious if my brother and his wife could be our official (though remote) sponsors, and have my parents celebrate with us in their place as proxies.

Is this feasible? If not what else do you recommend? We don’t know any other Catholics in our parish (yet).
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Yes your brother and his wife could be your Sponsors provided they qualify, speak with your Pastor. You can have a proxy stand in for them, with their names being entered as the official sponsors.
 
Thanks a lot need_to_know. I appreciate you pointing me to resources that better explain the sacraments.

It’s very clear that sponsors need to be qualified Catholics. But the standards for proxies are less clear (and perhaps undefined).
 
Thanks Br. Rich SFO.

Are you aware of any specific criteria to qualify a proxy?
 
ryanmac said:
Where do I look for the rules on items like this?
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In the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults and in the norms on the Sacrament of Confirmation.

But you shouldn’t have to be wandering around in the wilderness trying to do this research all by yourself. Why is your RCIA teacher not helping you with this? :confused:

The proxy can be anyone; it doesn’t have to be someone you know, as long as they are Catholic and in good standing with the Church, and conform to all of the standards for a sponsor. I have proxied for missing god parents and sponsors lots of times - most of the time I didn’t know the people, and never saw them again.
 
ryanmac said:
Thanks Br. Rich SFO.

Are you aware of any specific criteria to qualify a proxy?
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Not, off the top of my head. I would guess that they would need to also meet the qualifications. I would just ask one of the team if they would stand in for your brother and his wife. Or even one of the other Sponsors. Nothing says that a Sponsor can only Sponsor one person. They could also be your brothers Proxy. I would suggest that he have his pastor send a letter to your pastor stating that they do qualify.
 
jmcrae said:
The proxy can be anyone; it doesn’t have to be someone you know, as long as they are Catholic and in good standing with the Church, and conform to all of the standards for a sponsor. I have proxied for missing god parents and sponsors lots of times - most of the time I didn’t know the people, and never saw them again.
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Thanks jmcrae. Do you happen to recall where you learned about the qualifications of proxies? I can’t seem to find anything on this.
 
Also, while I appreciate everyone’s deep concern over the quality of the RCIA program and leadership, my wife and I have been very blessed and encouraged by the orthodoxy. I did not intend to open the floodgates of disapproval of our RCIA experience and its leadership. I was just hoping for some counsel on sponsors.
 
ryanmac said:
Also, while I appreciate everyone’s deep concern over the quality of the RCIA program and leadership, my wife and I have been very blessed and encouraged by the orthodoxy. I did not intend to open the floodgates of disapproval of our RCIA experience and its leadership. I was just hoping for some counsel on sponsors.
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It just seems very odd that this has not been dealt with - we are closing in pretty fast on Lent. You are going to see the Bishop in less than two weeks; you are going to need your Sponsor there, or your proxy. It’s odd that no one has given you a “heads up” or a “by the way, make sure your sponsor knows to be at the Cathedral at this time on this date.” 🤷
 
ryanmac said:
Thanks jmcrae. Do you happen to recall where you learned about the qualifications of proxies? I can’t seem to find anything on this.
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From the lady who asked me to fill in, and I assume she got it from the Diocese. Which I realize isn’t particularly helpful, but there’s got to be something in the Rite. But you also shouldn’t be having to look this stuff up yourself; someone should be by your side making sure all of this stuff is looked after for you.
 
ryanmac said:
Also, while I appreciate everyone’s deep concern over the quality of the RCIA program and leadership, my wife and I have been very blessed and encouraged by the orthodoxy. I did not intend to open the floodgates of disapproval of our RCIA experience and its leadership. I was just hoping for some counsel on sponsors.
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I am not saying anything about the quality of the RCIA program. I’m glad you’re happy with it. That, however, is not the point.

Do you know that your sponsor is not just making an appearance at the Easter Vigil? He or she must also be present at the Rite of Election and the Scrutinies as well. That’s five appearances in the next six weeks!
 
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