RCIA First Communion Veil?

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AuntMartha

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Hi,

My son and daughter are in the home stretch of RCIA! (Back story: hubby and I were away from the RCC for many years, and returned last year. The kids began RCIA in September since they are teens. With God’s Grace they have decided that, YES, they want to become Catholics!) They will become full members of the Catholic Church at this year’s Easter Vigil Mass.

Anyway, for my daughter, I was wondering about her wearing some sort of veil or hairpiece. I know that most ladies do not wear hats or veils anymore, so she could do this without one. But I myself always wear a hat or veil, and wondered if for something as special as First Communion - do ladies every wear First Communion velis when they come into the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil? Or is there some sort of white wreath or something like that that a young lady could wear?

It’s just that the little girls wear the veils at First Communion, and it almost doesn’t seem right to not have one! Has anyone seen RCIA ladies wearing veils for this?

Thanks, Aunt Martha
 
I’ve never seen this…

Practically speaking, your daughter is going to be confirmed at the vigil…and that rite is going to need her head to be able to have hands layed on it as well as chrism-ed.

Not sure it is the best plan
 
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frommi:
I’ve never seen this…

Practically speaking, your daughter is going to be confirmed at the vigil…and that rite is going to need her head to be able to have hands layed on it as well as chrism-ed.

Not sure it is the best plan
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You’ve got to be kidding. How do you think girls were confirmed in the old days? Bareheaded? They were told exactly what to wear to cover the tops of their heads so that the bishop could still do his thing.

My thought is that the good lady does not want to embarrass her daughter by forcing her to stand out if it is not a juridical requirement that her head be covered (unless of course the daughter expresses a desire to do so).
 
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jbuck919:
You’ve got to be kidding. How do you think girls were confirmed in the old days? Bareheaded? They were told exactly what to wear to cover the tops of their heads so that the bishop could still do his thing.

My thought is that the good lady does not want to embarrass her daughter by forcing her to stand out if it is not a juridical requirement that her head be covered (unless of course the daughter expresses a desire to do so).
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Well, I would anticipate that the presider is not going to be a bishop…and if the priest wants to get chrism on the confirmand…I’m not sure one wants a nice veil to end up covered in oil.
 
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frommi:
Well, I would anticipate that the presider is not going to be a bishop…and if the priest wants to get chrism on the confirmand…I’m not sure one wants a nice veil to end up covered in oil.
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Nice to know your concerns about the laundry. In years of attending the Vigil, I never knew anyone to get chrism on the top of the head. In any event I cannot imagine how that would be a serious issue in this matter. God gave us dry cleaning to handle this. If the young woman wants a veil - wear a veil. If not - that’s her choice.

You are really too consistent in opposing any pre-VII norm to be taken too seriously as to the laundry concern.
 
I was confirmed at a younger age than is currently allowed (8) while my father was as a military man stationed on the island of Guam. All the girls, and it was a huge class, ALL the girls wore lace veils draped over their head just as everybody, boys and girls, was dressed in entirely white down to the shoes, according to the Hispanic custom that Guam preserved. (The families of the boys actually had to purchase a full white suit with shirt, white tie,white jacket and even white shoes that was used only for that occasion.) There was a reason they made our confirmation memorable by making it complicated and difficult. It was supposed to be a mystical moment, and I still remember it as such.
 
a first communion veil is not required of anyone, child or adult, making first communion. the discipline requiring women to cover their heads in church was lifted 40 years ago, so it is completely optional. As long as her hair is off the forehead, it won’t interfere with the rite of confirmation. most teens I know would rebel if asked to wear a veil. i would concentrate on getting her a modest dress, white or pastel, which will be hard enough, given what is in the stores today.
 
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puzzleannie:
a first communion veil is not required of anyone, child or adult, making first communion. the discipline requiring women to cover their heads in church was lifted 40 years ago, so it is completely optional. As long as her hair is off the forehead, it won’t interfere with the rite of confirmation. most teens I know would rebel if asked to wear a veil. i would concentrate on getting her a modest dress, white or pastel, which will be hard enough, given what is in the stores today.
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Actually, the discipline requiring females to cover their heads in church and when praying in public was enshrined in the 1917 Code of Canon Law. Women were REQUIRED to cover their heads, until the new Code of Canon Law came out in, I think, 1983. Many people erroneously think that this discipline was done away with earlier, but it was indeed a requirement until 1983.

In some European countries, decades ago, women stopped covering their heads in church, to such an extent that in some places people have not even heard of that tradition.

In response to the original poster, by all means a female should wear a white dress and veil when Confirmed, no matter what the age.
 
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AuntMartha:
Hi,

My son and daughter are in the home stretch of RCIA! (Back story: hubby and I were away from the RCC for many years, and returned last year. The kids began RCIA in September since they are teens. With God’s Grace they have decided that, YES, they want to become Catholics!) They will become full members of the Catholic Church at this year’s Easter Vigil Mass.

Anyway, for my daughter, I was wondering about her wearing some sort of veil or hairpiece. I know that most ladies do not wear hats or veils anymore, so she could do this without one. But I myself always wear a hat or veil, and wondered if for something as special as First Communion - do ladies every wear First Communion velis when they come into the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil? Or is there some sort of white wreath or something like that that a young lady could wear?

It’s just that the little girls wear the veils at First Communion, and it almost doesn’t seem right to not have one! Has anyone seen RCIA ladies wearing veils for this?

Thanks, Aunt Martha
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Generaly adults do not. If she is not being Baptized a white ribbon in her hair would work. If she is being Baptized she will not wear white until after Baptism and then a white ribbon could be added to her hair. Nothing prevents a white veil however she may feel out of place if no one else is wearing one. I don’t know the specific origin of the Communion veil. It may very well be related to the pre-vatican II requirement of women covering their heads in church?
 
Aunt Martha,

I have seen people in just about everything at RCIA and non-RCIA group First Communions and Confirmations. Veil, no veil, white dress, not white, so on. It’s a special day for your family and your daughter should feel comfortable. CONGRATULATIONS!
 
Thanks all, for the replies.

I haven’t yet talked to my daughter about this. I wanted to find out what is usually done first. I’m also going to ask the priest at the next RCIA class (which is tonight). I just wanted to be able to say, “For First Communion, the ladies usually wear…” and give her an accurate description of what is worn for this ceremony. If she doesn’t want to wear a veil, that’s okay with me, but I’d also like it if she did. I was thinking a white dress and perhaps a hair bow, with ribbons hanging from it, or a hair comb with ribbons. Something to capture the flavor of a Communion veil.

I’m also going to ask the other woman in the class what she plans on doing. She might be open to the same idea. I just like the idea of something special for such a special occasion.

I’ll let you all know what the ladies end up doing!

Thanks again,
Aunt Martha
 
If she is over 13, good luck with getting her to wear one. It has been my experience unless the girl is under 13 (and 12 is stretching it), AND the other girls in the class are wearing it, you will have to fight her to get into a modest white or pastel dress, as Annie said.

Young women in an average Latin Rite parish in the United States (English Mass) in the age group above 12 too often wear as little as possible. White veils with elastic bands or plastic headbands, fake flowers, ruffles and lace won’t cut it for that age. You’ll need to wait on that one until she marries.

HOWEVER, if her mother asked her very nicely, and got her a special mantilla, white, very grown-up in style…That might go over better.
 
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johnnykins:
Nice to know your concerns about the laundry. In years of attending the Vigil, I never knew anyone to get chrism on the top of the head.
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As your pastor (if he is doing it instead of the Bishop) how he does this. Our priest uses a LOT of oil - annointing directly on the forehead AND the top of the head (not in the middle on top, but definitely the foreward part of the top of the head if that makes any sense).
 
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Elzee:
As your pastor (if he is doing it instead of the Bishop) how he does this. Our priest uses a LOT of oil - annointing directly on the forehead AND the top of the head (not in the middle on top, but definitely the foreward part of the top of the head if that makes any sense).
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I was also forewarned by several people who are involved in the RCIA at my church that our father is very liberal with the oil. I was told by one man, who converted from Baptist, that he also got oil on the front top of his nearly bald head. So, please ask.
 
I have heard of some priests and bishops who, when anointing for confirmation at Easter Vigil, like to literally pour oil from a pitcher over the confirmand’s head so that it runs down their face. In those cases, though, they are usually wearing special white garments, and change later into their Easter outfit!
 
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GoLatin:
In response to the original poster, by all means a female **should **wear a white dress and veil when Confirmed, no matter what the age.
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“Should” should read “may.”
 
I’ve read your post several times and I am not sure from what you’ve said if your children are receiving Baptism, Confirmation, & Eucharist, which is full initiation or if they are simply completing their initiation by receiving Confirmation and Eucharist. (usually only older teens would receive Confirmation and Eucharist through RCIA) if they are being baptized, your daughter would not have on a vail during the baptism. and her hair would be wet. if they are being baptized, are they just wearing white clothes, or will they be clothed with the white garment, (baptismal robe) after the baptism? White is the correct color for baptism, representing being washed clean from sin, but Red is the sacramental color of Confirmation. I’m an RCIA coordinator, and I have had children come in full first communion clothes, only to be upset that the vail is removed, hair messed and wet. Usually I try to give guide lines as what will work well for my people. A simple white/modest dress is always best. Comfort is formost! our Easter Vigil lasts 3 hours. Ask your catechist, about what they suggest for your Mass. Another suggestion is, buy the vail and dress, and have a professional picture taken with it on, before the Easter vigil. you’ll get the traditional first communion picture. And leave the vail off during the Mass.
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AuntMartha:
Hi,

My son and daughter are in the home stretch of RCIA! (Back story: hubby and I were away from the RCC for many years, and returned last year. The kids began RCIA in September since they are teens. With God’s Grace they have decided that, YES, they want to become Catholics!) They will become full members of the Catholic Church at this year’s Easter Vigil Mass.

Anyway, for my daughter, I was wondering about her wearing some sort of veil or hairpiece. I know that most ladies do not wear hats or veils anymore, so she could do this without one. But I myself always wear a hat or veil, and wondered if for something as special as First Communion - do ladies every wear First Communion velis when they come into the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil? Or is there some sort of white wreath or something like that that a young lady could wear?

It’s just that the little girls wear the veils at First Communion, and it almost doesn’t seem right to not have one! Has anyone seen RCIA ladies wearing veils for this?

Thanks, Aunt Martha
Click to expand...
 
by this time your RCIA director should have given suggestions on what to wear so you can shop well before time, if she hasn’t just ask. If the children are being baptized during the Easter Vigil, you need to find out if it is by immersion, in which case they will be changing clothes, so the outfit should be easy and quick to get into, no elaborate hairdo. (sponsors, don’t forget a big towel, shoes, stockings and underwear). Don’t spend 80 bucks on a hairdo with flowers, ribbons etc. just to have it drowned by a pitcher of water.
 
Our RCIC kids who are being baptized wear a MODEST swimsuit, with the shorts bottom and sleeved top (7-10 year range) because Father likes immersion (he will yield to pouring). They then change into modest white dresses, pants and shirts, etc. These can be simple (nice Easter dress, or good trousers and button-down shirt), or elaborate (a concoction of fluff and lace with a bouffant skirt, and of course an elaborate veil that gave Father fits). They are then confirmed, and then receive First Eucharist.

Anybody who has started to hit puberty or falls into the RCIA has their baptismal outfit approved by the DRE weeks before Easter vigil. They then change into anything from modest Easter dresses (without veils), to what appeared to be a white bridesmaid’s dress with a tiara but no veil.

And Kirk is right- no female should be required to be confirmed in a white dress and veil. I can think of little old ladies who might not want to go that route. If I were just becoming a Catholic, I wouldn’t, either. White makes me look like a house. And I had a red wedding dress.

I will go one better than have a professional photo taken in a purchased dress and veil: Rent a flower girl’s or junior bridesmaid’s outfit from a bridal rental company, and have it taken.
 
Br. Rich SFO:
Generaly adults do not. … If she is being Baptized she will not wear white until after Baptism and then a white ribbon could be added to her hair. .
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Can you give a document for this?
Babies wear white christening gowns all the time!

Angel
 
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