RCIA for mixed marriage couple?

[Erin_91]

I’ve been researching a little bit on RCIA, and some sources say that while it is intended for those who would like to convert to Catholicism, it can also serve as a learning aid for those entering into a mixed marriage. My boyfriend and I (I’m Catholic, he’s non-denominational Christian) have discussed our religious differences on many occasions. I’m wondering if RCIA would be a good way for us to learn together? Thoughts?

God Bless.

 

[bzkoss236]

Hello again,

RCIA may or may not be helpful. It depends on the openness of the non-Catholic partner to learn, the quality of the RCIA program (some only really cover the basics of the Bible, the Church, and the Sacraments), and how much you already know.

When my wife and I were engaged, we started to attend RCIA together at the parish close to our college campus to learn together (as I was still learning much after having come back to the Church), but we stopped going after a while when we realized that everything they had and would go over, we both already knew. So learning wouldn’t have happened. Personally, we both find CA a more informative place for inquiry as it not only has these forums, but it has many tracts, podcasts (of their radio show), articles, and “quick questions” (questions from the Ask an Apologist forum) on their main website which cover a variety of topics. Maybe you could introduce him to the podcasts for Open Forum and Open Forum for Non-Catholics (with a preference toward the latter) which covers a wide array of questions. I’ve found the question and answer format to be a great way to learn, because a lot of the questions others have had, I had too.

Or you could purchase a copy of the Essential Catholic Survival Guide to brush up on some apologetic defenses of our faith.

There’s also the Catholicism series (DVD set) from Fr. Robert Barron, who also has a youtube channel(s) ‘wordonfirevideo’ (and ‘wordonfirevideo2’).

If you are set on joining an RCIA program (which start in the fall), first talk with your boyfriend, then do some investigation to find a local RCIA program that does a good job at explaining the faith and talk to that parish about registering as inquirers for the coming fall.

 

[Erin_91]

Hello again,

RCIA may or may not be helpful. It depends on the openness of the non-Catholic partner to learn, the quality of the RCIA program (some only really cover the basics of the Bible, the Church, and the Sacraments), and how much you already know.

When my wife and I were engaged, we started to attend RCIA together at the parish close to our college campus to learn together (as I was still learning much after having come back to the Church), but we stopped going after a while when we realized that everything they had and would go over, we both already knew. So learning wouldn’t have happened. Personally, we both find CA a more informative place for inquiry as it not only has these forums, but it has many tracts, podcasts (of their radio show), articles, and “quick questions” (questions from the Ask an Apologist forum) on their main website which cover a variety of topics. Maybe you could introduce him to the podcasts for Open Forum and Open Forum for Non-Catholics (with a preference toward the latter) which covers a wide array of questions. I’ve found the question and answer format to be a great way to learn, because a lot of the questions others have had, I had too.

Or you could purchase a copy of the Essential Catholic Survival Guide to brush up on some apologetic defenses of our faith.

There’s also the Catholicism series (DVD set) from Fr. Robert Barron, who also has a youtube channel(s) ‘wordonfirevideo’ (and ‘wordonfirevideo2’).

If you are set on joining an RCIA program (which start in the fall), first talk with your boyfriend, then do some investigation to find a local RCIA program that does a good job at explaining the faith and talk to that parish about registering as inquirers for the coming fall.

He is open to learning. Although I may look further into some of the other means you have suggested. We both currently attend different universities and I will be traveling to study abroad in the fall. This is my first go at CA, so I’ve still got lots of searching to do on the site. I will look into the books and DVDs as well. Thank you!

 

[familyof4]

A couple of suggestions. I would first consider looking at the parish website for your closest parish, if they have one, and seeing if they have classes, not just RCIA but also ongoing faith formation for those who are already confirmed. I teach RCIA, and also attend the classes that are offered through our parish, because no matter how much I think I know, I always learn more.

RCIA might be good for both of you, we have a lot of people who go through, and their spouses attend as well. It is an opportunity for them to refresh themselves in their faith, and the spouses also grow in the relationship over the shared experience.

Last, even if you think you already know a subject, don’t be surprised if you come out of the classes having learned new things, or having been given an idea you want to research and think about more. I have been teaching for a while, and yet each year something new comes up, or a new perspective is added. While reading on your own is a good thing, being in a class room environment will give you an opportunity to raise questions, gain new insights, and also meet potential friends in your parish.

Let your fiance know that even if he attends RCIA, he does not have to promise to become Catholic. It isn’t like signing a contract where after x number of classes they whisk him away, annoint him with oil and give him an application for the Knights.

 

[1ke]

The first period of RCIA is called the inquiry period. It is for all comers wth no pressure to make a commitment.

I agree with a PP that the quality of the program can vary, and you have to keep in mind that RCIA is really for the unbaptized, what your boyfriend would call the unchurched. So, the presentations are going to start with stuff like God, Trinity, etc. The basics. It will be mixed in with distinctly Catholic things such as Saints, Sacraments, etc, but don’t expect high level theology. These sessions are for people without much prior knolwedge of Christianity.

Ask your pastor for advice on whether or not the RCIA classes would be the right thing. What is is you/he want to get out of those classes?

 

[BettyBoop416]

A few years ago my non-believing husband agreed to attend RCIA as a learning experience. I attended the classes with him so that I would know what was discussed so that we could talk about it outside of class. Unfortunately, the quality of the classes left much to be desired. Although my husband entered into this with an open mind and a genuine curiosity, after about eight weeks he had had enough and called it quits. He still attends Sunday Mass with me every week, but I get the impression that he believes very little of what goes on there.

Let your fiance know that even if he attends RCIA, he does not have to promise to become Catholic. It isn’t like signing a contract where after x number of classes they whisk him away, annoint him with oil and give him an application for the Knights.

I showed this quote to DH. He LOLed and said the only reason he attended RCIA in the first place was so that he could become a Knight.