RCIA for my Fiancee

[Mwandrusz]

My question is for any of the users of this forum in the Chicagoland area-

I’m not sure if this is the appropriate section, but I will ask for your help anyway.

I recently got engaged to the most amazing, caring, wonderful woman I’ve ever met. Although she has been going to Catholic mass most of her life, she has not received her sacraments, as her parents were very young when they had her, and her father is Jewish, so conflict between his parents and her Mother’s family kept her parents from Baptising her and enrolling her in religious education.

We are planning a wedding in October, 2010, and it is very important to both of us that she complete her RCIA journey. However, most parishes have their programs start in September, so she is late. It will break her heart if we must wait another year for a Catholic Wedding, as her Grandparents are ill, and may not make it to see her be wed.

Does anyone know of a Parish in the Chicagoland area that has a rolling admission RCIA program, or a Parish that will give her private study?

THank You so much, God Bless.

 

[1ke]

Your fiancee does not have to be a baptized Catholic in order for you to marry her in the Catholic Church.

She can complete RCIA and come into the Church after you are married if necessary.

 

[James_N]

Your fiancee does not have to be a baptized Catholic in order for you to marry her in the Catholic Church.

She can complete RCIA and come into the Church after you are married if necessary.

But I’d imagine there’s still a strong motivation for being able to partake in the Eucharist at your own wedding.

 

[joandarc2008]

You may wish to check with the Archdiocese. You would not be looking for a rolling admission. However, what you would be looking for is a parish that would allow her to start now. There is a period of questioning and observation that anyone can join and then there is the Rite of Election. After the Rite of Election most programs don’t allow anyone else to come in but if you talk to the Parish priest you may be able to get an exception made.

 

[Mwandrusz]

I guess I was wondering if any parishes had programs that had smaller groups, or for some type of one-on-one study. It seems strange to me that RCIA be limited to a once a year session like a college course everywhere. Well it seems to me that we’ll have to keep searching. Thank you for the responses.

 

[joandarc2008]

Talk to your Parish priest - it is because confirmation is a privelge of the bishop. Therefore it has to be scheduled ahead of time or the bishop has to give permission to these Parish priests to do this on Easter Sunday. You can also go to the Archbishop and see if there is something you can work out.

 

[mswood]

I guess I was wondering if any parishes had programs that had smaller groups, or for some type of one-on-one study. It seems strange to me that RCIA be limited to a once a year session like a college course everywhere. Well it seems to me that we’ll have to keep searching. Thank you for the responses.

From my understanding (I am no expert but I am currently going through the RCIA process right now). The issue right now is that since she is not baptized the appropriate time for her to receive the Sacraments of Initiation (baptism, confirmation, first holy communion) is at the Easter Vigil. These Sacraments are not undertaken lightly and the church requires a period of study and reflection before joining. I know of many places (though not in Chicago) that would allow her to join RCIA right now as an inquirer but since most churches have either just had their Rite of Acceptance and Welcoming or about to have that rite she would not be able to join the ranks of Catechumen in time to take part in the sacraments this year. Also the sad truth is that many parishes simply don’t have the resources to run a year round RCIA program, but even if they did, most will not bring unbaptized persons into the church any time other than at Easter.

You must also remember that things don’t happen on our timetable and that sometimes we must wait for things that we want, and that in waiting for them we appreciate them even more when we receive it. I do understand wanting to receive the Eucharist together at your wedding, this is also very important to me, which is why I started RCIA before I was even engaged, I already knew I wanted to be part of the church and saw no reason to wait until after I was engaged to begin the journey.

 

[1ke]

But I’d imagine there’s still a strong motivation for being able to partake in the Eucharist at your own wedding.

If they are that strongly motivated, then they will do things order and on the timeline required to make it happen that way.

If it is *most *important she be Catholic, then wedding date **may **need to shift.

If it is *most *important they be married, then the baptism date is secondary and they can marry before she is baptized.

 

[1ke]

I guess I was wondering if any parishes had programs that had smaller groups, or for some type of one-on-one study. It seems strange to me that RCIA be limited to a once a year session like a college course everywhere. Well it seems to me that we’ll have to keep searching. Thank you for the responses.

RCIA is not a once a year process. Catechesis is an “as long as it takes” process. Many are inquirers for several years for catechetical purposes. They study could certainly take many forms-- one-on-one, group, etc. It can be lengthy or short. It can start any time.

The RCIA rites are liturgically at specific times of the year. Once they enter the Catechumenate, it is only a few months until Baptism.

The proper time-- outside danger of death or some other grave situation-- for catechumens to be baptized is Easter Vigil.

The catechetical piece may certainly be a “school semester” type set up in most parishes. First, it’s hard to run year round because in the summer people scatter to the four winds. Second, it’s hard to get enough volunteers to run multiple tracks for people who just show up “whenver.”

Also, most parishes don’t have unlimited resources and you must respect the time of the volunteers involved. Asking for one-on-one study or a special treatment for your fiancee isn’t very respectful of their time. I volunteer and coordinate RCIA and it is VERY time consuming.

 

[LaLucia]

I live in the Los Angeles area and the RCIA program is still open for new people coming in.
The RCIA teacher is a volunteer at our church. She will decide if a fiance is ready to be confirmed into the Catholic religion by the month of May.
Some people are really advanced in their knowledge of the bible and are able to move on real fast. Others may take two sessions before they are confirmed.

 

[1ke]

I live in the Los Angeles area and the RCIA program is still open for new people coming in.
The RCIA teacher is a volunteer at our church. She will decide if a fiance is ready to be confirmed into the Catholic religion by the month of May.
Some people are really advanced in their knowledge of the bible and are able to move on real fast. Others may take two sessions before they are confirmed.

LaLucia,

What you have written is true for the already baptized, those seeking full communion and Confirmation.

The OP’s fiancee is unbaptized. Therefore, it is a different process.

 

[LaLucia]

Hello Ike, Two years ago we had a young man born in Red Russia where religion was not accepted. He sat in our RCIA classes for two sessions which covered from Sept. to May for two years. His parents were of the Jewish religion but didn’t practice their religion.

He was first baptized, then he received Holy Communion, and then Confirmation at our CHURCH on different dates. Then he got married to a Catholic gal who he had met at their jobs as nurses in a hospital. He was a wonderful young caring man but he really needed two sessions of RCIA meetings because he was totally clueless about religion.

In our parish you don’t need to be baptized to attend our RCIA meetings. The RCIA teacher says that many people get baptized into religions as babies and didn’t make their own choice… so she says that being baptized into the Catholic church is okay to wait until a person understands our religion.
Our RCIA teacher has a Masters in Religious Studies and has been teaching RCIA classes for adults… and children for many years. She is a great teacher and loves to teach and is super well informed.
There is so much to learn about our Catholic religion. I am always asking questions.

 

[1ke]

Hello Ike, Two years ago we had a young man born in Red Russia where religion was not accepted. He sat in our RCIA classes for two sessions which covered from Sept. to May for two years. His parents were of the Jewish religion but didn’t practice their religion.

He was first baptized, then he received Holy Communion, and then Confirmation at our CHURCH on different dates. Then he got married to a Catholic gal who he had met at their jobs as nurses in a hospital. He was a wonderful young caring man but he really needed two sessions of RCIA meetings because he was totally clueless about religion.

In our parish you don’t need to be baptized to attend our RCIA meetings. The RCIA teacher says that many people get baptized into religions as babies and didn’t make their own choice… so she says that being baptized into the Catholic church is okay to wait until a person understands our religion.

I was not referring to **attending **RCIA. RCIA is for the unbaptized and yes it is a lengthy process. And yes, the OP’s fiancee needs to attend.

I was referring to your comment that she could attend a short time and then get confirmed. This is not the case with catechumens.

 

[puzzleannie]

I guess I was wondering if any parishes had programs that had smaller groups, or for some type of one-on-one study. It seems strange to me that RCIA be limited to a once a year session like a college course everywhere. Well it seems to me that we’ll have to keep searching. Thank you for the responses.

it isn’t or it shouldn’t be a school-year based “program”. It is at heart a process of conversion, the classroom or doctrinal instruction is essential but only a part of the process. The stages of the process are defined and the rites and preparation for those rites which punctuate transitions through each stage are defined, they have a purpose and a value, and moreover RCIA is the process the Church has in her wisdom provided for the unbaptized to prepare for the intense demands of Catholic living and for initiation into her Life.

The catechumenate properly, after an initial inquiry stage, should be one year, from Lent to the following Easter. Yes some people with prior background and experience may be able to complete the doctrinal study in a shorter period of time, but the process of conversion must be allowed to proceed at its own pace, and those transitions should be discerned with the pastor and those guiding the process. It is also a process for incorporation into parish life, and that also takes time, and the liturgical year provides natural opportunities for that. The farther RCIA is divorced from the liturgical year the less it is allowed to provide what the Church intends for the catechumens.

Your wife is not required to become Catholic in order for you to marry, but if she sincerely wants this she – not you – should approach the parish in which you will be members and ask how to proceed, and be guided by that pastor’s care for her. You can certainly ask for a dispensation to marry her before her baptism. In any case, even if you were both Catholic, if one whole family is not, and if that is furthermore a source of stress, you might very well be advised not to celebrate your wedding in the context of a nuptial Mass where half those attending will be excluded from communion. That is something you may wish to discuss during your marriage preparation.

Every parish should welcome new inquirers year-round, and yes the Archdiocese can help you locate such a parish. Their RCIA is very strong and a call to the office on liturgy might really help you, but start with your own parish first.