RCIA & godparents... when you are an adult?

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meianoite

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I had a bit of an interesting question…
i’m going through RCIA right now with my husband (we were both very interested in becoming Catholic and decided to join the faith together) and we are finding ourselves in a bit of a predicament. Our church (were new to the church, by the way) wants us to have Godparents in order to proceed in RCIA. Now, the only thing is we are both adults, we don’t know anyone in the church so we are being “given” godparents (that are strangers, we have never met and so we don’t even know if this would be a good “fit”, so to speak). We don’t seem to have much say in the matter and we both don’t want Godparents as we have family members (that don’t live in the same state) that are Catholic and already have a very good support system. My questions are:
-Are having “Godparents” when you’re an adult mandatory to enter the religion?
-If the whole point of having “Godparents” are that you have someone to help you through the faith, would it matter if we already have family members that form a good support system for us?
-Is it even a good idea to give us “Godparents” that we don’t even know? What if their beliefs are not shared with our own beliefs or what if they believe something that is not of the church?

Please help! Were set to meet them soon and we actually feel that this might hurt our journey in our faith rather than help as we feel that individuals are being forced on us and that we are choice-less in the matter. Thank you, in advance!
 
It is very common for adult converts to be given sponsors from the parish in which they will be received into the Church. Sponsors are not simply pulled in off the streets, there is a process for selecting them.

Catholics are to have a sponsor at baptism and/or confirmation. Yes, you can choose your sponsor. See canon law:

Can. 872 Insofar as possible, a person to be baptized is to be given a sponsor who assists an adult in Christian initiation or together with the parents presents an infant for baptism. A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it.
*Can. 873 There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each.

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.*

I suggest you sit down with your **pastor **to discuss your concerns. Your “assigned” RCIA sponsor will attend RCIA classes every week, will participate in formation, and will participate in the Rites with you. But they do not have to be your sponsor at baptism or confirmation.

If you want a Catholic family member to be your sponsor at your baptism and/or confirmation, you choose them as long as they are canonically eligible, but the person in RCIA is there to help you on a regular basis-- something your Catholic family who live in another state cannot do.

I think you are getting overworked about this. Simply sit down with your pastor and talk to him. Having a person assigned to assist you is NOT going to harm you.
 
As above, you and your husband should each be assigned a Catholic sponsor (not a Godparent).

The sponsors are to assist you in your preparation to receive the Sacraments.

As I understand it, sponsors are a tradition established in the Early Church.
 
Barbkw said:
As above, you and your husband should each be assigned a Catholic sponsor (not a Godparent).

The sponsors are to assist you in your preparation to receive the Sacraments.

As I understand it, sponsors are a tradition established in the Early Church.
Click to expand...
Remember that the Church calls godparents ‘sponsors’.

If you are being baptized, your sponsor in RCIA doesn’t have to be your godparent. I’ve known catechumens to have a sponsor throughout the catechumenate but a different person as their godparent when they are baptized.

Obviously if you’re already baptized you already have a godparent, or two, or three, so you don’t need a new one but you still have to have a sponsor as you go through the rites.
 
When you are baptised in the Catholic Church, you have Godparents. When you are Confirmed, you have a sponsor. When you join the Catholic Church through the RCIA program, the same person (or persons) carries out both roles. Your sponsor has a role to play in each of the ceremonies that leads up to your becoming a full member of the Catholic Church. They are also there to accompany you on your journey and to help you when you come across things that seem a little odd. It’s generally better if the sponsor is someone you knew before you started your journey in faith. If it is someone you don’t know, I can guarantee you’ll know them well by Easter.
 
meianoite said:
I had a bit of an interesting question…
i’m going through RCIA right now with my husband (we were both very interested in becoming Catholic and decided to join the faith together) and we are finding ourselves in a bit of a predicament. Our church (were new to the church, by the way) wants us to have Godparents in order to proceed in RCIA. Now, the only thing is we are both adults, we don’t know anyone in the church so we are being “given” godparents (that are strangers, we have never met and so we don’t even know if this would be a good “fit”, so to speak). We don’t seem to have much say in the matter and we both don’t want Godparents as we have family members (that don’t live in the same state) that are Catholic and already have a very good support system. My questions are:
-Are having “Godparents” when you’re an adult mandatory to enter the religion?
-If the whole point of having “Godparents” are that you have someone to help you through the faith, would it matter if we already have family members that form a good support system for us?
-Is it even a good idea to give us “Godparents” that we don’t even know? What if their beliefs are not shared with our own beliefs or what if they believe something that is not of the church?

Please help! Were set to meet them soon and we actually feel that this might hurt our journey in our faith rather than help as we feel that individuals are being forced on us and that we are choice-less in the matter. Thank you, in advance!
Click to expand...
I suspect your confusion wouldn’t have arisen if you’d been advised you required sponsors rather than godparents.
 
OP, you wonder why you were assigned godparents since you are an adult. This is what the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults has to say on the topic (the numbers are from the Canadian Rite, other countries’ Rites may have the articles numbered differently).
  1. A sponsor accompanies any candidate seeking admission as a catechumen. Sponsors are persons who have known and assisted the candidates and stand as witnesses to the candidates’ moral character, faith and intention. It may happen that it is not the sponsor for the rite of acceptance and the period of the catechumenate but another person who serves as godparent for the periods of purification and enlightenment and mystagogy.
Click to expand...
  1. Their godparents (for each a godmother or godfather, or both) accompany the candidates on the day of election, at the celebration of the sacraments of initiation, and during the period of mystagogy. Godparents are persons chosen by the candidates on the basis of example, good qualities, and friendship, delegated by the local Christian community, and approved by the priest. It is the responsibility of the godparents to show the candidates how to practice the Gospel in personal and social life, to sustain the candidates in moments of hesitancy and anxiety, to bear witness, and to guide the candidates’ progress in baptismal life. Chosen before the candidates’ election, godparents fulfill this office publicly from the day of the rite of election, when they give testimony to the community about the candidates. They continue to be important during the time after reception of the sacraments when the neophytes need to be assisted so that they remain true to their baptismal promises.
Click to expand...
 
1ke said:
It is very common for adult converts to be given sponsors from the parish in which they will be received into the Church. Sponsors are not simply pulled in off the streets, there is a process for selecting them.

Catholics are to have a sponsor at baptism and/or confirmation. Yes, you can choose your sponsor. See canon law:

Can. 872 Insofar as possible, a person to be baptized is to be given a sponsor who assists an adult in Christian initiation or together with the parents presents an infant for baptism. A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it.
*Can. 873 There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each.

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.*

I suggest you sit down with your **pastor **to discuss your concerns. Your “assigned” RCIA sponsor will attend RCIA classes every week, will participate in formation, and will participate in the Rites with you. But they do not have to be your sponsor at baptism or confirmation.

If you want a Catholic family member to be your sponsor at your baptism and/or confirmation, you choose them as long as they are canonically eligible, but the person in RCIA is there to help you on a regular basis-- something your Catholic family who live in another state cannot do.

I think you are getting overworked about this. Simply sit down with your pastor and talk to him. Having a person assigned to assist you is NOT going to harm you.
Click to expand...
Hi!
Thanks for answering!
I don’t much know how I feel about having a sponsor/godparent at my and my husbands’ RCIA meeting…I kind of feel like there is a bit of intrusion there and i’ll explain why…We haven’t been to many meetings yet and I kind of feel like instead of us being free and very open to share our life’s events, ask whatever questions or share whatever thoughts we have with our pastor, I feel like having a stranger in there (irregardless of it being Catholic tradition) will only turn us away and make us close off to how beautiful of an experience RCIA has been to us since we’ve started on our journey. We are very introverted people and do believe that our faith should be somewhat of a private thing that we don’t broadcast to many people. I just don’t see how having a sponsor be at every RCIA meeting is going to help us as we already feel we are on a good, set path, I kind of do feel it’s going to harm more than help just because I don’t want people to know my and my families’ business, personal information, etc., I just don’t feel that it’s (it, meaning the sharing of our information, personal stories, lives) necessary in order for us to belong to Catholicism even though, after you’ve explained it, I don’t necessarily feel as negative as I once did.
 
Barbkw said:
As above, you and your husband should each be assigned a Catholic sponsor (not a Godparent).

The sponsors are to assist you in your preparation to receive the Sacraments.

As I understand it, sponsors are a tradition established in the Early Church.
Click to expand...
Hello!
I’m so glad that you’ve all clarified this (the whole godparent thing)…
when I first heard it, even when I told my mom (who was raised in the church, went to Catholic school, etc.,) she thought it sounded a bit odd the way it was explained to me. I would not mind having them assist in our preparation to receive the sacraments- to a certain end. I don’t know that anyone should be okay with just divulging all of the personal and intimate details of their lives with someone they have no open knowledge of. I don’t know… something about that feels wrong to me.
 
Phemie said:
Remember that the Church calls godparents ‘sponsors’.

If you are being baptized, your sponsor in RCIA doesn’t have to be your godparent. I’ve known catechumens to have a sponsor throughout the catechumenate but a different person as their godparent when they are baptized.

Obviously if you’re already baptized you already have a godparent, or two, or three, so you don’t need a new one but you still have to have a sponsor as you go through the rites.
Click to expand...
Hi!
I didn’t know actually that they were one in the same…lol… funny how that kind of changes my impression of their purpose. We aren’t baptized at all, but we don’t mind having the sponsors be apart of the baptismal (as we kind of don’t really have a choice… unfortunately- our nearest family member lives a few states away) but we just don’t feel like, in our lives, we’re wanting to open our family up to people we don’t know…I apologize if it sounds odd, but, we’re just really guarded about our family life and revere not opening it up to just anyone.
 
jimrob said:
When you are baptised in the Catholic Church, you have Godparents. When you are Confirmed, you have a sponsor. When you join the Catholic Church through the RCIA program, the same person (or persons) carries out both roles. Your sponsor has a role to play in each of the ceremonies that leads up to your becoming a full member of the Catholic Church. They are also there to accompany you on your journey and to help you when you come across things that seem a little odd. It’s generally better if the sponsor is someone you knew before you started your journey in faith. If it is someone you don’t know, I can guarantee you’ll know them well by Easter.
Click to expand...
Lol now i’m a bit confused.
So they are godparents until we get baptized and then when we get confirmed it’s a sponsor? lol but I just don’t think i’m open to having a stranger that we have no say in picking guiding our journey through the faith. It’s actually turning us off a bit just because it seems like such a large decision to have been made without us having even the slightest bit of control over. If the individuals that are chosen end up being a poor fit, it feels like, to me, that it could make our journey and experience more confusing than it should be. I guess i’m worried it’s going to take us away from wanting to ask questions…
 
meianoite said:
Lol now i’m a bit confused.
So they are godparents until we get baptized and then when we get confirmed it’s a sponsor?
Click to expand...
No.

They are sponsors.

Sponsors are typically called “godparents” when the person being baptized is a baby/child. Godparent is NOT the canonical term. Sponsor is the canonical term.

A person has a sponsor at baptism (or two sponsors) and a sponsor at confirmation.

In cases where baptism and confirmation are separated by a number of years (children) a person might have a baptismal sponsor and a confirmation sponsor who are different people although the preference is that the confirmation sponsor be one of the baptismal sponsors. Sometimes that is not practical such as a person having died, moved away, or what have you.

In your case, you will be baptized, confirmed, and receive the eucharist all at the Easter Vigil. Your sponsor will stand for the baptism and the confirmation.
meianoite said:
lol but I just don’t think i’m open to having a stranger that we have no say in picking guiding our journey through the faith. It’s actually turning us off a bit just because it seems like such a large decision to have been made without us having even the slightest bit of control over. If the individuals that are chosen end up being a poor fit, it feels like, to me, that it could make our journey and experience more confusing than it should be. I guess i’m worried it’s going to take us away from wanting to ask questions…
Click to expand...
So just talk to your pastor about it. I don’t think it is productive to work yourself up about it when your fears could be totally unfounded depending upon how your pastor implements RCIA locally.
 
Phemie said:
OP, you wonder why you were assigned godparents since you are an adult. This is what the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults has to say on the topic (the numbers are from the Canadian Rite, other countries’ Rites may have the articles numbered differently).
Click to expand...
That’s fine- I wasn’t sure if it was church specific or not- i’m really just starting out here, totally so my apologies to anyone if my knowledge of anything is sort of basic- :o
But does anyone else kind of think its a bit unfortunate having to be assigned someone you don’t know, might end up having problems with, etc., if you don’t have the good fortune of having loved ones close by? I mean it’s very likely the sponsors that were chosen are great people- but in a time that is already exciting and overwhelming in some small ways, I don’t think this will help us to as openly explore the faith as we have up until this point when we have our RCIA meetings.
 
1ke said:
No.

They are sponsors.

Sponsors are typically called “godparents” when the person being baptized is a baby/child. Godparent is NOT the canonical term. Sponsor is the canonical term.

A person has a sponsor at baptism (or two sponsors) and a sponsor at confirmation.

In cases where baptism and confirmation are separated by a number of years (children) a person might have a baptismal sponsor and a confirmation sponsor who are different people although the preference is that the confirmation sponsor be one of the baptismal sponsors. Sometimes that is not practical such as a person having died, moved away, or what have you.

In your case, you will be baptized, confirmed, and receive the eucharist all at the Easter Vigil. Your sponsor will stand for the baptism and the confirmation.

So just talk to your pastor about it. I don’t think it is productive to work yourself up about it when your fears could be totally unfounded depending upon how your pastor implements RCIA locally.
Click to expand...
Ohhh okay!
Thanks for clarifying… i’m sure my anxiousness on the topic is probably the reason why it’s taking me a bit of time to absorb the totality of the situation lol I agree with you! I did try talking to the pastor about it and he basically will have us meet our sponsors in about two weeks time and it appears he has selected two people he knows personally…and he won’t let us go about this any other way. Sigh… :whistle: there goes my nerves again 😊
 
Well I guess i’ve come to accept that
A. We have no choice or say in the matter of how we go about this
B. It will just have to be strangers to us
We will continue on our path to become Catholic, continue with RCIA, but I know the relationship we have with our Sponsors will be limited… and I know we probably will approach our RCIA classes being reserved and introverted because we won’t feel comfortable opening ourselves and our married life to those we don’t know…a marriage is private, our lives are intimate and I don’t feel that these things should be shared with just anyone…The reality about me is I would need to know someone much more than a few months to want to share my life’s challenges and history with and I just don’t foresee that happening within a few months time.

Thanks for everyone’s responses and help in answering my questions! You all have been so helpful! 🙂
 
meianoite said:
Lol now i’m a bit confused.
Click to expand...
What was being described to you was what happens to a “cradle” Catholic. In infancy, they’re baptised and have, at least, one godparent. Then at about the age of 7 they’ll make the first communion, and in their teens they’ll be confirmed and have a sponsor. In your case you’ll receive all three sacraments of initiation (Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist) at the same time. On that occasion you’ll have one sponsor each. That sponsor will have the role of an infant’s godparent (to some extent, not totally because you’re adults) and the role of sponsor of a confirmand (someone who gets confirmed), all rolled into one.
 
Matthew_Holford said:
What was being described to you was what happens to a “cradle” Catholic. In infancy, they’re baptised and have, at least, one godparent. Then at about the age of 7 they’ll make the first communion, and in their teens they’ll be confirmed and have a sponsor. In your case you’ll receive all three sacraments of initiation (Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist) at the same time. On that occasion you’ll have one sponsor each. That sponsor will have the role of an infant’s godparent (to some extent, not totally because you’re adults) and the role of sponsor of a confirmand (someone who gets confirmed), all rolled into one.
Click to expand...
Ohhhhh okay- I understand it much better now. That actually gave me much more clarity…😉
Sorry i’m kind of slow- but thank you for taking time to explain it to me- I really appreciate it :o
 
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