RCIA - having a sponsor younger than you

[otjm]

In a perfect world where all candidates and catechumens know Canon law, you are right.

Without arguing about Canon law, a trained and certified catechist is likely to know how to match those coming into the Church with active members of the parish who can articulate the faith and know enough to seek help when questions come up for which they are not qualified to answer.

And I will be the first to grant that not all parishes (likely all too few parishes) have a trained and certified catechist. In the RCIA programs I have been involved in (as a team member and sponsor, not the head catechist), what I have observed is that for the greatest part the candidate/catechumen’s choice of sponsor is not always up to the task of being there for each meeting and for other requirements. The exceptions have been spouses (1) and he admitted he was at times over his head (and sought help).

And likely, whether or not the team has canonical authority to reject them, I doubt it has been a point won. If the individual joining is set on “X” as sponsor, it may be the wise team leader who has another individual also accompany the individual through the program. I have known many, many Catholics who are as faithful as could be, but who are significantly short on specific answers to a whole lot of questions; some are wise enough to ask for help, and some simply blunder on. The former might make a “good friend” sponsor; the latter have the makings for a disaster, as friendship can get in the way of knowledge and understanding.

 

[TheLittleLady]

to match those coming into the Church with active members of the parish who can articulate the faith and know enough to seek help when questions come up for which they are not qualified to answer.

There are times when someone literally has no Catholic extended family or friends, that happens in every RCIA class. We always have a pool of available volunteers, often the spouse or fiancee of another catechumen. We encourage those who “don’t know any Catholics” to get to know some of the other Catholics in the prep/instruction sessions or in the parish and select their own sponsor, when asked we will select for them, but that is last resort.

what I have observed is that for the greatest part the candidate/catechumen’s choice of sponsor is not always up to the task of being there for each meeting and for other requirements.

However, the law does not require attendance at classes. The law even permits someone to stand in proxy for every Rite and Sacrament.

 

[IdaCatholic]

Lets apply that same logic to marriage prep then. Classes we also took at the same time as RCIA.

 

[TheLittleLady]

?? I am not sure what you mean here, marriage prep can be done when the prospective spouses are in different geographical locations.

There are times when the priest preparing a couple for marriage will meet with each one individually.

 

[TC3033]

Interesting.

In the off chance that I would decide to convert (even though I’m not all that interested in the needing a sponsor thing) the only person I’d expect to be my sponsor would be my wife.

As awkward as I think it is needing to be sponsored, I’d find it just as awkward having that person be someone that I barely/don’t even know instead of my spouse.

IDK, maybe that’s just me.

 

[TheLittleLady]

The hope is you would make a good friend at the parish, a man who could be your sponsor. Or one of your in-laws, FIL, BIL?

 

[TC3033]

OK, I can understand that I guess. I haven’t really made any friends (outside of another husband who isn’t Catholic), and I guess I wouldn’t see either of my BIL’s doing it.

I’m kind of uncomfortable with the idea of needing a sponsor, and just figured if I were to convert it would just be my wife. Didn’t realize that’s frowned upon. Real downer that it may have to be someone I really don’t know. That’s something to think about.

 

[TheLittleLady]

The law does not forbid spouses from sponsoring each other, but, some parishes/pastors have different opinions. From the track record with parishes,

 

[Elf01]

Real downer that it may have to be someone I really don’t know. That’s something to think about.

Are you seriously considering converting? If not you have time to get to know people (I understand that your area seems to have some hostility towards non Catholics though so can see that being difficult). Are you close to any members of your wifes family or is she a convert?

 

[otjm]

There is the law, and then there is the real world. I didn’t and don’t run the program; that is how the two head catechists ran/run it. And in 20+ years I still have to see anyone object or try to countermand the requests of the two.

 

[otjm]

I have been involved as a team member for about 20 years, and probably half or better of each class has had someone they did not particularly know; if the sponsor is worth the time they take, the candidate/catechumen knows them fairly well by the end.

 

[TC3033]

Are you close to any members of your wifes family or is she a convert?

I am, but I wouldn’t see any of them who would be a sponsor. A) I don’t think any of them would do it and B ) we’re pretty spread out. I don’t think anyone is even a member of the same parish.

if the sponsor is worth the time they take, the candidate/catechumen knows them fairly well by the end.

As someone who is fairly introverted and very independent, I find the whole process of needing to be sponsored awkward as it is, let alone just having someone “assigned” to me.