RCIA leader asked lots of anullment ?s

[dianaballein]

Wow, I learned something today. I am in RCIA now, and my Director NEVER told me I had to annul my first marraige before I could become a Catholic. So if that never happens, then I can never be one? This is unbelievable. I am pretty upset. :crying:

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Wow, I learned something today. I am in RCIA now, and my Director NEVER told me I had to annul my first marraige before I could become a Catholic. So if that never happens, then I can never be one? This is unbelievable. I am pretty upset. :crying:

Have you remarried? It makes a difference.

If you are remarried (or your spouse is remarried) then you need to seek a declaration of nullity for your first marriage. The Church recognizes your (first) marriage as valid and you can’t marry someone else when you’re already married.

If you are divorced but single, it’s not mandatory to receive a declaration of nullity. However, you are not free to date or seek remarriage. I’d recommend going to the Tribunal anyway so that if you should meet someone in the future you’ll know what your status is in terms of your marriage.

Your RCIA director should have explored this issue with you and explained what it all meant. This is one of the topics I discuss with someone in our first meeting…in part because I’ve learned from the mistakes of other people.

Don’t panic and don’t cry! Make an appointment with your pastor to talk about your marriage and start the process. I know this must come as a shock, but trust that things will work out.

 

[Ted_in_Charlott]

I am glad I had a good RCIA instructor. Our priest led it.

Seems like when we started back in August 2005 we had a full room (maybe 25) and by the time Easter vigil came we had 10. The ones that left were the ones asking about annulments alot.

I guess it is normal, as some people just come to RCIA so they can get their “card punched” on the way to a Catholic wedding. Once they either find out they “don’t qualify” they give up.

However, there are others that realize that the reason to come is to become part of God’s one true church, and in spite of the original reason they joined RCIA they stick it out for the right reason: to become Catholic.

Unfortunately, I saw very few other my graduating class after the Vigil, and asking the priest, he said yes it was just one lady and me that hung around. Pity, for we have something in the Catholic CHurch that the Lord gave us, a chance to share in His body and blood every Mass and for some, it is just a way to help them “get hitched”.

 

[puzzleannie]

Wow, I learned something today. I am in RCIA now, and my Director NEVER told me I had to annul my first marraige before I could become a Catholic. So if that never happens, then I can never be one? This is unbelievable. I am pretty upset. :crying:

discuss it with the pastor this week, no way to give you an answer here, every case is unique.

 

[dianaballein]

Have you remarried? It makes a difference.

If you are remarried (or your spouse is remarried) then you need to seek a declaration of nullity for your first marriage. The Church recognizes your (first) marriage as valid and you can’t marry someone else when you’re already married.

If you are divorced but single, it’s not mandatory to receive a declaration of nullity. However, you are not free to date or seek remarriage. I’d recommend going to the Tribunal anyway so that if you should meet someone in the future you’ll know what your status is in terms of your marriage.

Your RCIA director should have explored this issue with you and explained what it all meant. This is one of the topics I discuss with someone in our first meeting…in part because I’ve learned from the mistakes of other people.

Don’t panic and don’t cry! Make an appointment with your pastor to talk about your marriage and start the process. I know this must come as a shock, but trust that things will work out.

I am remarried, and my spouse is a non-practicing Catholic. There is no way he is going to participate in us splitting up and remarrying. No way. He already had a hard time with me saying I was attending Mass, and then when I joined RCIA he thought I had lost my marbles.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I am remarried, and my spouse is a non-practicing Catholic. There is no way he is going to participate in us splitting up and remarrying. No way. He already had a hard time with me saying I was attending Mass, and then when I joined RCIA he thought I had lost my marbles.

Don’t worry about splitting up and remarrying and don’t worry about your spouse’s reaction. Just take one thing at a time so it’s not overwhelming. You need to talk with your pastor and see what the next step is. Make an appointment to see him and get things started.

 

[funnyyetsavvy]

I went to my first RCIA this week:thumbsup: FINALLY!!!

I wasn’t asked any more questions about anything, but I’m thinking I should speak to the leader privately so I’m absolutely clear on how things go in these matters.

SIGH I just keep hoping every day that that anulment letter will be in my mailbox. Then everything would be settled. But that’s in His timing…not mine…and He has His reasons…

 

[Brenda_V]

SIGH I just keep hoping every day that that anulment letter will be in my mailbox. Then everything would be settled. But that’s in His timing…not mine…and He has His reasons…

Keep reminding your self of this as you go through RCIA. Other questions may come up that require time to be answered, don’t let that deter you

Congratulations on your first class

 

[LESCM001]

I too am concerned. I was just married last week to a non catholic who wants to join the church. When she discussed this with an RCIA leader in my church, they said that she could not join RCIA or the church because she is married to a man (me), who has not yet received an anulment. Is this true???

 

[Joe_5859]

I too am concerned. I was just married last week to a non catholic who wants to join the church. When she discussed this with an RCIA leader in my church, they said that she could not join RCIA or the church because she is married to a man (me), who has not yet received an anulment. Is this true???

If you were previously married and have not received a declaration of nullity for that marriage, then, yes, it is true that she cannot be received into the Church until that situation is resolved. However, it seems she could at least start attending RCIA sessions in the meantime.

 

[jmcrae]

If you were previously married and have not received a declaration of nullity for that marriage, then, yes, it is true that she cannot be received into the Church until that situation is resolved. However, it seems she could at least start attending RCIA sessions in the meantime.

In the documents that pertain to RCIA, it actually recommends that people with marriage issues not proceed beyond the Inquiry period, because of the disappointment they would feel if they completed the whole program, and then didn’t receive their Declaration of Nullity, and thus after all that hard work, they are unable to become Catholics at all during this life time.

 

[jmcrae]

I too am concerned. I was just married last week to a non catholic who wants to join the church. When she discussed this with an RCIA leader in my church, they said that she could not join RCIA or the church because she is married to a man (me), who has not yet received an anulment. Is this true???

You should also realize that this situation has caused yourself to be banned from receiving the Sacraments, as well as your wife. This situation needs to be resolved as soon as possible. Talk to your priest.

 

[Joe_5859]

In the documents that pertain to RCIA, it actually recommends that people with marriage issues not proceed beyond the Inquiry period, because of the disappointment they would feel if they completed the whole program, and then didn’t receive their Declaration of Nullity, and thus after all that hard work, they are unable to become Catholics at all during this life time.

Yes, thanks for the clarification. I only meant that she could perhaps start the Inquiry period. I was not clear.

 

[dianaballein]

If you were previously married and have not received a declaration of nullity for that marriage, then, yes, it is true that she cannot be received into the Church until that situation is resolved. However, it seems she could at least start attending RCIA sessions in the meantime.

It is indeed true. You would need to get your last marriage annulled. There can only be one sacramental marriage. If she had not yet married you, it would be a non-issue. I had to go through the same thing.

 

[jmcrae]

It is indeed true. You would need to get your last marriage annulled. There can only be one sacramental marriage. If she had not yet married you, it would be a non-issue. I had to go through the same thing.

I understand what you mean, but rather than phrase it as “get your marriage annulled” which makes it sound as if the Church has the power to overturn people’s sacramental vows to one another, it’s better to say, “ask for the marriage to be investigated” which is more clear about the role of the Church, to see whether any wedding vows were, in fact, exchanged at the wedding.

For example, someone may have said, “Until death us do part” without realizing that it is meant to be taken literally, or else while holding a mental reservation such as, “or else until I find someone I like better” or else “unless you throw your socks all over the bathroom floor and forget to cap the toothpaste” - or perhaps one member of the couple was too young to understand what was going on, or else they were impaired in some way that affected their judgement.

These are all things that the Marriage Tribunal looks into, to determine whether the marriage was valid, or not - but they can’t actually cause any marriage to become null.