RCIA off to a rocky start...

  • Thread starter Thread starter JerryS
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

JerryS

Guest
I’m trying to discern my path, finding myself at the fork of the Protestant and Catholic roads. I have a wife (raised Catholic but not practicing), and we have a 9 year old. As part of this discernment, I signed up for RCIA at our local parish. Not knowing where we’ll end up, and driven somewhat by the (internal) pressure of RCIA being on an annual cycle, we asked about catechesis of our 9 year old (who is 2 years older than typical 1st communion age). They said she should take the RCIA class also. I questioned the concept of having effective catechesis in a mixed group like that, but the leader insisted that having the kids in the class was a wonderful experience. Also, there are a couple of other kids in the class including a friend from school, so we gave it a try.

Well, not surprisingly, the class is pretty dreadful for both adults and kids. The level is too high for 9 year olds and too low for adults. Everyone is glassy-eyed and yawning within 30 minutes. The overall experience so far ranges from mildly (me) to extremely (daughter) Catholicly repellent. And this while we’re still covering basic Christian foundations on which virtually all Christians agree.

I realize now that part of my problem is a reluctance to force on my daughter a decision I have not even completely made for myself. So, I’m inclined to let her back out until my wife and I settle on our path. We can then focus better on how best to guide our 9 year old spiritually. That would alleviate the distraction of trying to make it a positive experience for her while I’m working through my own questions.

However, even if she doesn’t come, the other kids will keep it generationally mixed. I’m still facing a boring class where serious discussion of questions of faith and morals is somewhat stifled by sensitivity to younger perspectives.

I did have a talk with one of the leaders, but there’s only so much they can do. They offered private tutoring for our daughter, but that doesn’t really solve the central concerns. They say things usually work out fine, but it’s hard to be optimistic. I suppose with God all things are possible.

Any suggestions or similar experiences that might be helpful?

Thanks,
Jerry
 
My RCIA group is pretty dynamic, energetic and boistrous group.

I have a feeling it’s going to be a very effective group for all of us.

I can only think it would be a nightmare having little ones there.

Its very much designed with and for adults only.

Surely it cant be too hard for them to organise a youth group.
 
get out of that parish. no one said you have to go to RCIA at the closest church, and obviously that parish cannot run a decent RCIA class! While my RCIA class was a bit liberal, and dumbed down a bit, the youngest member of our group was 16… and there was ONE 16 year old…

find a different Parish. perhaps a parish catering to college age students? who often have more advanced questions…

get your hands on some of the better books on the subject, like Catholicsm for Dummies (which is surprisingly good)

write a letter to the RCIA director AND the pastor of the parish explaining what you said here… that you are leaving this parishes RCIA class, because the material is, as you were afraid, too low level for adults, and over the head of a 9 year old. and that your daughter was becoming actively hostile to Catholicism.

and also? look up your diocese on the web and find out who is in charge of RCIA in your region… write to them and explain that you were in an RCIA class… which is Right of Christian Initiation for ADULTS and it has people as young as 9 mixed in with adults, and is not being effective…

RCIA classes, sadly are often not going to be very “meaty” for an advanced student… but thats just silly.
 
There’s nothing wrong with your 9-yo being in a mixed group, but she should be mixed with other children within a few years of her age, not mixed in with adults.

In our parish the adult catechesis was handled entirely separately from the children’s. The children’s catechesis director handled the catechesis of the RCIA children. I think this is the best way to handle it. There should be a catechesis program in already in place for children that do not attend Catholic school so that they can receive the sacraments. Ideally, the director of that program will handle RCIA children and prepare them for their sacraments will simultaneously enrolling your daughter in regular catechesim classes along with children her age.

Your daughter would be baptized and confirmed and receive first communion along with the other adults, so she is not just preparing for first communion, but also confirmation at the age of 9. She needs a special class to prepare for those things, in addition to joining her age group in catechism class.

If this parish cannot meet your needs, try finding one that can. You should be able to focus entirely on discernment, and not be distracted by management and coordination problems.
 
Talk to the priest and ask for private instruction.

If there is any unwillingness, try another parish.
 
I think having adults and children in the same RCIA class is a very bad idea! The same material needs to be presented in different ways depending upon the age of the learners. I can understand how certain topics might be hard to bring up if there are children in the room. I would look for a different parish and RCIA program. If that is not an option, then speak to the priest about your concerns.

God bless you and your family along your faith journey.

Jean
 
Lutheran Catechesis (at least in the LCMS) generally runs from 6th-grade to 8th-grade, which would mean that your 9 year old would not be behind catechetically if you wanted to give the LCMS a try. I can’t promise that Luther’s Small Catechism is any more entertaining than the CCC, but if you aren’t sure of which church body to join, the LCMS would be very comfortable for you if you’re familiar with Catholic liturgy.

The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod is a church body that subscribes unconditionally to the Lutheran Confessions, retains and confesses unequivocally the ancient Creeds (Nicene, Apostles’, and Athanasian), acknowledges the true, justifying body and blood of Christ in the sacrament, and retains the ancient tradition of infant baptism.

I wish you God’s blessings on your journey, and I sincerely hope you find what you and your family are looking for.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a PM. Check us out at lcms.org
 
JerryS said:
I’m trying to discern my path, finding myself at the fork of the Protestant and Catholic roads. I have a wife (raised Catholic but not practicing), and we have a 9 year old. As part of this discernment, I signed up for RCIA at our local parish. Not knowing where we’ll end up, and driven somewhat by the (internal) pressure of RCIA being on an annual cycle, we asked about catechesis of our 9 year old (who is 2 years older than typical 1st communion age). They said she should take the RCIA class also. I questioned the concept of having effective catechesis in a mixed group like that, but the leader insisted that having the kids in the class was a wonderful experience. Also, there are a couple of other kids in the class including a friend from school, so we gave it a try.

Well, not surprisingly, the class is pretty dreadful for both adults and kids. The level is too high for 9 year olds and too low for adults. Everyone is glassy-eyed and yawning within 30 minutes. The overall experience so far ranges from mildly (me) to extremely (daughter) Catholicly repellent. And this while we’re still covering basic Christian foundations on which virtually all Christians agree.

I realize now that part of my problem is a reluctance to force on my daughter a decision I have not even completely made for myself. So, I’m inclined to let her back out until my wife and I settle on our path. We can then focus better on how best to guide our 9 year old spiritually. That would alleviate the distraction of trying to make it a positive experience for her while I’m working through my own questions.

However, even if she doesn’t come, the other kids will keep it generationally mixed. I’m still facing a boring class where serious discussion of questions of faith and morals is somewhat stifled by sensitivity to younger perspectives.

I did have a talk with one of the leaders, but there’s only so much they can do. They offered private tutoring for our daughter, but that doesn’t really solve the central concerns. They say things usually work out fine, but it’s hard to be optimistic. I suppose with God all things are possible.

Any suggestions or similar experiences that might be helpful?

Thanks,
Jerry
Click to expand...
RCIA classes vary significantly from church to church.

During my conversion, I had a lousy RCIA experience.

However, EWTN filled in the blanks. Neither included children, by the way.

I’m currently a sponsor in an RCIA program. It is awesome. It is comprehensive and educational and will run. I’m learning almost as much as the inquirers.

Perhaps you should check out a different church.
 
I am the Lay Director of RCIA for my parish.

I have to agree with some of the previous posters. It doesn’t sound like this particular parish program is right for you, and you might want to seek out other options.

Our program is designed for adults 18 and over, and seems to work quite well. We have our presentation on the subject matter, small group discussions, and then any necessary follow up with the presenter. ie Q & A.

Over the past couple of years, we have developed what we are calling RCIT, and RCIC. (Rite of Christian Initiation of Teens, or Children). These are geared more toward their age groups, and current level of catechesis. They also help them get caught up and blend with others that are currently in CCD classes.

Ultimately, we blend all three, RCIA, RCIC, and RCIT, and bring everyone in at the Easter Vigil.

I don’t think a mixed age group is beneficial, specifically for the reasons you mention. Too deep for kids, too shallow for adults. Also, the way our program is designed, there is a lot of confidential sharing, that isn’t always appropriate for youngsters.

Not to brag, but our Diocese is working on setting a standard for RCIA (format, content, etc), and is holding our parish program up as the standard.

I would suggest talking to the pastor of the parish you are at, and see if he could recommend another parish close by.

Unless work scheduling is a problem, I personally don’t recommend private instruction. I feel that being surrounded by individuals going through the same process as you is more beneficial. They ask questions you didn’t think of, or they bring a different approach. All of which add to the information you’re receiving.

I should point out that other than our priests, and deacons, we have 3 cradle Catholics on our team. The rest are all converts. Our team, not including sponsors totals 18.

We will pray for you and your family.
 
Stay with me on this, but I thought RCIA was Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. Last time, I checked a 9 year old was not an adult. 😛

In Christ,
Andrew
 
Harpazo said:
Stay with me on this, but I thought RCIA was Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. Last time, I checked a 9 year old was not an adult. 😛

In Christ,
Andrew
Click to expand...
Bingo!! We have a winner!!
 
Harpazo said:
Stay with me on this, but I thought RCIA was Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. Last time, I checked a 9 year old was not an adult. 😛

In Christ,
Andrew
Click to expand...
For the purpose of baptism, the Church divides people into infants and adults. Infants are those under the age of reason, usually about age 7. Adults are those who are above the age of reason.

By the Church’s definition, a 9-year-old goes through RCIA.

However, that doesn’t mean that a child of that age should be taught along with adults. There should be catechetical sessions geared toward a child’s understanding.

Perhaps the RCIA team could work with the children’s religious education program to provide the catechesis, then bring the child along with the rest of the catechumens/candidates for the rites.
 
twopekinguys said:
Bingo!! We have a winner!!
Click to expand...
Nope, we have a loser. 😉 (Not that you’re a loser of course, it’s just the wrong answer.:D)

In RCIA, you are either entering the faith as an infant, or entering the faith above the age of reason as a catechumen or candidate. The age of reason is 7. A child under 7 will receive the first sacrament of initiation, baptism, during the Easter Vigil with the parents, or by special arrangement and with permission of the priest at another time in the RCIA process.

A child over the age of 7 will receive all sacraments of initiation along with other catechumens. Of course, if the child is already baptized he or she is candidate, and receives only first communion and confirmation.

Confirmation is not withheld until the typical age if a child over 7 is converting with his or her parents in RCIA. I had a child over the age of 7 who received all of the sacraments of initiation in RCIA, and her sister received infant baptism and will receive communion and confirmation at the normal times.
 
JerryS said:
I’m trying to discern my path, finding myself at the fork of the Protestant and Catholic roads. I have a wife (raised Catholic but not practicing), and we have a 9 year old. As part of this discernment, I signed up for RCIA at our local parish. Not knowing where we’ll end up, and driven somewhat by the (internal) pressure of RCIA being on an annual cycle, we asked about catechesis of our 9 year old (who is 2 years older than typical 1st communion age). They said she should take the RCIA class also. I questioned the concept of having effective catechesis in a mixed group like that, but the leader insisted that having the kids in the class was a wonderful experience. Also, there are a couple of other kids in the class including a friend from school, so we gave it a try.

Well, not surprisingly, the class is pretty dreadful for both adults and kids. The level is too high for 9 year olds and too low for adults. Everyone is glassy-eyed and yawning within 30 minutes. The overall experience so far ranges from mildly (me) to extremely (daughter) Catholicly repellent. And this while we’re still covering basic Christian foundations on which virtually all Christians agree.

I realize now that part of my problem is a reluctance to force on my daughter a decision I have not even completely made for myself. So, I’m inclined to let her back out until my wife and I settle on our path. We can then focus better on how best to guide our 9 year old spiritually. That would alleviate the distraction of trying to make it a positive experience for her while I’m working through my own questions.

However, even if she doesn’t come, the other kids will keep it generationally mixed. I’m still facing a boring class where serious discussion of questions of faith and morals is somewhat stifled by sensitivity to younger perspectives.

I did have a talk with one of the leaders, but there’s only so much they can do. They offered private tutoring for our daughter, but that doesn’t really solve the central concerns. They say things usually work out fine, but it’s hard to be optimistic. I suppose with God all things are possible.

Any suggestions or similar experiences that might be helpful?

Thanks,
Jerry
Click to expand...
Really? I teach RCIA in Arizona, and the “A” in RCIA is for adults. I’m stumped as to why your parish would have kids there as well, when there should be classes available specifically for children.

I don’t know where you live, but if possible, I would give another parish a try. In spite of our universal Catholic church, everyone has their preferences as to which parish feels most like “home.” In the meantime, you can shoot me a PM if there are specific questions you feel aren’t getting answered in your own class. I am a convert myself, so I am familiar with the RCIA process as both a student as well as a teacher. 🙂

God Bless!
 
Angels_Unaware said:
Nope, we have a loser. 😉 (Not that you’re a loser of course, it’s just the wrong answer.:D)

In RCIA, you are either entering the faith as an infant, or entering the faith above the age of reason as a catechumen or candidate. The age of reason is 7. A child under 7 will receive the first sacrament of initiation, baptism, during the Easter Vigil with the parents, or by special arrangement and with permission of the priest at another time in the RCIA process.

A child over the age of 7 will receive all sacraments of initiation along with other catechumens. Of course, if the child is already baptized he or she is candidate, and receives only first communion and confirmation.

Confirmation is not withheld until the typical age if a child over 7 is converting with his or her parents in RCIA. I had a child over the age of 7 who received all of the sacraments of initiation in RCIA, and her sister received infant baptism and will receive communion and confirmation at the normal times.
Click to expand...
So, a 6 year old is considered an infant? :confused:

In Christ,
Andrew
 
Harpazo said:
So, a 6 year old is considered an infant? :confused:

In Christ,
Andrew
Click to expand...
I was wondering the same thing. I think the term ‘infant’ has more to do with their ability to reason than their biological age.
 
Harpazo said:
So, a 6 year old is considered an infant? :confused:

In Christ,
Andrew
Click to expand...
Just for the purpose of baptism. All children under the age of reason (7) receive infant baptism with the same assumptions as a newborn infant who cannot commit a sin. They receive the grace of the sacrament and the child’s parents and godparents promise to raise them in the faith so that grace can bear fruit.
 
Harpazo said:
So, a 6 year old is considered an infant? :confused:

In Christ,
Andrew
Click to expand...
Nominefili said:
I was wondering the same thing. I think the term ‘infant’ has more to do with their ability to reason than their biological age.
Click to expand...
Yes, a 6 year old would be considered an infant for the purposes of baptism.

And Nomine is more or less correct. At around the age of 7 children will have a sense of right and wrong, good and bad choices. They are old enough that they should show a desire to be baptized and follow God and should have some say in the decision to be baptized. Obviously this won’t show itself in the same was as an adult, but should show in an age appropriate way. They should also be prepared for baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Communion before hand. They should have an age appropriate understanding of what all this means and how it affects their life.

For children who are younger than 7, the preparation will focus on their parents and God parents. They will then prepare for Holy Communion and Confirmation at the “normal” age with the other children.
 
Harpazo said:
So, a 6 year old is considered an infant? :confused:

In Christ,
Andrew
Click to expand...
Yes, since six year olds typically have not yet begun to reason, and typically still confuse fantasy with reality.

Keep in mind, the Church recognizes only two kinds of people: infants, and adults. There is no concept of “child” or “teenager” in Church law.

With regard to the OP, what I would suggest is to find a parish that has an RCIA program for children (often called “RCIC”), a separate one for teens (often called “RCIT”), and a third one for adults. There will still be a wide range of abilities and experiences, but at least people will not be uncomfortable raising whatever questions they may have, and the catechesis will be more age-appropriate.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top