RCIA process - receiving communion

[TC3033]

That’s different. Neither one of you were Catholic when you got married so your marriage (and assuming both baptized and it was done in A church) is sacramental. No convalidation needed.

OP’s situation is different, here husband was (is) Catholic and if he didn’t receive a dispensation from canonical form their marriage is considered invalid by the church and a convalidation is needed.

The funniest thing is that they sought me out to do this process this year!

If my wife’s parish was actively “seeking me out” to do RCIA, that would be a little frustrating, TBH.

 

[Horton]

Did you fill out an RCIA application? There are questions on there that address sacraments you may have received such as baptism and also questions regarding your marriage situation

Unfortunately not all RICA programs are using the standard application. For instance, in my parish, they use a form that asks for name, phone, address and the name of the sponsor if they have one.

 

[Horton]

Your husband is Catholic. He was bound to marry in the Catholic Church or have a dispensation to marry outside the Church. If he did not comply with this your marriage, while civilly legal is not a sacramental marriage. Your husband should not be receiving communion.

To have your marriage validated is quite simple. You would both have to meet with your priest to set it up. A validation can be done very simply, it does not have to be a “wedding” with all the bells & whistles.

There are RCIA programs where the directors just don’t know about these details. Before changing to another parish, make an appointment with your priest for you and your husband. The priest will give you all the information you need.

 

[Anne1964]

When I had my marriage validated it was a 15 minute ceremony on my lunch hour. Only requirement for the ceremony was to have two witnesses.

And to be clear about what a validation ceremony is, it is an actual marriage ceremony and will be recorded by the Church as the date of your wedding.

 

[Cornwallus]

This topic brings up a similar question I have had since going through the RCIA process and being received into the Catholic Church.

My wife and I married 7 years ago, she is an atheist but was willing to do a church ceremony. We agreed to have the wedding in an episcopal church. I was baptized in the Presbyterian church and I believe she in the Methodist church. I was only casually religious at the time of our marriage and she had completely fallen away. To have our wedding in a church was mainly to appease our families.

Fast forward to October 2018 - I was called home, is the best way I can describe it. Never had the thought of joining the Catholic Church ever crossed my mind in my entire life. I have no family or friends who are Catholic. Before I attended my first Mass I had never been inside a Catholic church. I didn’t have the first clue about sacraments, liturgy, the real presence etc. I think I startled the priest a bit when I chased him down in the parking lot and told him I needed to be Catholic.

Anyway, about my marriage, in conversation with a priest at a different parish he questioned if I was validly received into the church or something along those lines because of my marriage. To put it lightly my wife is less than happy about me having become Catholic. My RCIA director mentioned we should have our marriage blessed by the church. My wife would never agree to this and also refuses to allow our daughter to be baptized into the church, but that’s an issue for another time.

Based on the conversation I had with the other priest and some of the things I have read on CAF. Have I been validly received into the Church and should I be receiving communion? If not, then how would I ever get around the issue of having our marriage validated by the Church if my wife would never agree?

 

[Irishmom2]

Horton, do you have any idea what would be a reason that a dispensation would be allowed? I don’t know anything about them.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

Have I been validly received into the Church and should I be receiving communion? If not, then how would I ever get around the issue of having our marriage validated by the Church if my wife would never agree?

I was in a very similar situation. Here is how it was explained to me by the diocese advocate. Barring any other impediments, two validly baptized people can have a perfectly valid marriage. So long as your marriage is valid, you can be brought in without a convalidation. You say you were both baptized, so barring any other issue, you should be fine.

Edit: Since it’s possible I’ve been misinformed about the convalidation/sponsor issue I’m going to strike that from my reply. The above is still accurate. Your marriage is valid.

 

[Cecilia2017]

That’s a new one to me.
My husband and I were married 25 years ago in a Baptist church…both baptized so a sacramental marriage.
After my reception a few years ago I’ve been a sponsor for others completing RCIA and the subject of convalidation has never cropped up…

 

[Phemie]

That’s a new one to me.
My husband and I were married 25 years ago in a Baptist church…both baptized so a sacramental marriage.
After my reception a few years ago I’ve been a sponsor for others completing RCIA and the subject of convalidation has never cropped up…

If neither of you were Catholic at the time of your wedding no convalidation was necessary.

 

[Phemie]

Because you and your wife were not Catholic at the time of your marriage, you were not canonically bound to marry in the Catholic Church. The Church considers marriages between non-Catholics to be valid. Your marriage is valid. There is no need to have the Church “bless” your marriage. Furthermore, the Church considers marriages between two baptized people to be Sacramental so even though your wife isn’t practicing any faith right now, you are in a Sacramental marriage by virtue of your baptisms.

Though they could receive a “Nuptial Blessing” which is not what most people thing of when they say “have your marriage blessed”.

 

[Phemie]

Cornwallus:

Have I been validly received into the Church and should I be receiving communion? If not, then how would I ever get around the issue of having our marriage validated by the Church if my wife would never agree?

I was in a very similar situation. Here is how it was explained to me by the diocese advocate. Barring any other impediments, two validly baptized people can have a perfectly valid marriage. So long as your marriage is valid, you can be brought in without a convalidation. You say you were both baptized, so barring any other issue, you should be fine.

A convalidation is strongly recommended.

I should add that there are some things in the church that require someone to have been “married in the church” such as sponsorship. That’s another good reason to have a convalidation.

No, you can’t “make valid” what is already valid. Two Protestants who have no impediments and marry either in their Church or the Town hall are validly married. Even if they both decided to be received into the Catholic Church they would not require or be able to have a convalidation.

 

[Horton]

I should add that there are some things in the church that require someone to have been “married in the church” such as sponsorship. That’s another good reason to have a convalidation.

This is another tricky one. For converts who married and have no other impediments such as a prior marriage, their marriage becomes sacramental when they are brought into the Church. There is no need to convalidate a valid marriage.

For those situations such as being a sponsor, their marriage is fine in meeting those requirements. This is what Canon Law states.

Can. 874
3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on

This means one must be living according to Church teaching and their vocation in life. If married it means having a valid marriage according to the Church. If single, one must be living as a proper Catholic single should.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

mrsdizzyd:

I should add that there are some things in the church that require someone to have been “married in the church” such as sponsorship. That’s another good reason to have a convalidation.

This is another tricky one. For converts who married and have no other impediments such as a prior marriage, their marriage becomes sacramental when they are brought into the Church. There is no need to convalidate a valid marriage.

For those situations such as being a sponsor, their marriage is fine in meeting those requirements. This is what Canon Law states.

Can. 874
3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on

This means one must be living according to Church teaching and their vocation in life. If married it means having a valid marriage according to the Church. If single, one must be living as a proper Catholic single should.

I’m going to have to ask for clarification (again) because I originally thought things were as you’ve stated here, but then I was told that I need a convalidation to qualify as a sponsor. So, I am now going through the convalidation process.

We are both baptized Christians with no marriage impediments.

 

[Phemie]

Horton:

mrsdizzyd:

I should add that there are some things in the church that require someone to have been “married in the church” such as sponsorship. That’s another good reason to have a convalidation.

This is another tricky one. For converts who married and have no other impediments such as a prior marriage, their marriage becomes sacramental when they are brought into the Church. There is no need to convalidate a valid marriage.

For those situations such as being a sponsor, their marriage is fine in meeting those requirements. This is what Canon Law states.

Can. 874
3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on

This means one must be living according to Church teaching and their vocation in life. If married it means having a valid marriage according to the Church. If single, one must be living as a proper Catholic single should.

I’m going to have to ask for clarification (again) because I originally thought things were as you’ve stated here, but then I was told that I need a convalidation to qualify as a sponsor. So, I am now going through the convalidation process.

We are both baptized Christians with no marriage impediments.

I would check with the diocese on this. You can’t make a valid marriage more valid.

 

[Horton]

I’m going to have to ask for clarification (again) because I originally thought things were as you’ve stated here, but then I was told that I need a convalidation to qualify as a sponsor. So, I am now going through the convalidation process.

We are both baptized Christians with no marriage impediments.

Someone has misinformed you. As long as there were no impediments in your marriage there is no need to convalidate. You can’t make a valid marriage more valid. Speak to your priest, he should know. Tell the person insisting on you going through this process about Canon Law 874 and 892 & 893 which states

Can. 892 Insofar as possible, there is to be a sponsor for the person to be confirmed; the sponsor is to take care that the confirmed person behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfills the obligations inherent in this sacrament.

Can. 893 §1. To perform the function of sponsor, a person must fulfill the conditions mentioned in can. 874

§2. It is desirable to choose as sponsor the one who undertook the same function in baptism.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

Speak to your priest, he should know.

He’s the one who… never mind. I’ll seek clarification from the diocese.

Thank you.

 

[phil19034]

They also told me today that my marriage had to be convalidated since we were married at my christian church and not a Catholic Church before I can receive communion.

If your husband didn’t receive a dispensation from the Church before you married in the protestant Church then HE (not you) caused your marriage to be irregular.

A convalidation is quick and painless. You and husband simply redo your vows in front of a deacon or priest, with at least two witnesses. It can happen in the Church or Rectory, pretty simple.

OR - your HUSBAND (and you, but mainly him) can go through the much longer process of getting Radical Sanation which basically grants your husband (retroactively) a the dispensation for your original wedding.

Disclaimer: I had my marriage “blessed” via a Radical Sanation because my wife didn’t want to come to the Church to state our vows.

 

[JulianN]

He’s the one who… never mind. I’ll seek clarification from the diocese.

I think that’s a good idea. I’ve had priests who’ve misunderstood marriage situations and what was needed for validity. Good luck!

 

[Cecilia2017]

Thanks. @mrsdizzyd has deleted that bit now anyway. Could have sworn I’d clicked the button to reply to her but maybe not. Definitely did this time.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

mrsdizzyd:

He’s the one who… never mind. I’ll seek clarification from the diocese.

I think that’s a good idea. I’ve had priests who’ve misunderstood marriage situations and what was needed for validity. Good luck!

It was probably just a misunderstanding. We are all human. They are busy and deal with lots of people in different situations. We will get it sorted.