RCIA - Question about Sponsors - Help!

[CanadianNewbie]

Hi!

We’re rounding the home stretch in our RCIA program and I couldn’t be more excited, but also a bit anxious.

See, I come from a very non-religious family, and as a computer geek my main social circles are other computer geeks and assorted sundry nerds (a crowd that tends to skew more militant atheist than practicing Catholic).

For this reason, I can’t come up with a sponsor for all the sponsor-related RCIA tasks (Election, Scrutinies, and the big night, if I’m remembering correctly) and I’m worried.

I brought it up to the really nice priest who’s leading our classes and he’s assured me that they can find someone to help but this feels massively awkward to me as a solution, because the Rite of Election is actually happening like half an hour away in a neighbouring city, the scrutinies are at one specific mass for three Sundays in a row, and I’m sure folks would much rather spend the Easter celebration with their families rather than helping out some rando Catholic wannabe. It just feels like I’m asking a whole lot of a complete stranger, and I am deeply uncomfortable with it…

So, my question is: Is a sponsor actually set-in-stone required? Do I have to have one? Like, no question, double underline, have to? Or can I appeal to someone for an exception on the basis of knowing no Catholics and being awkward?

Additionally, as a follow up question: There’s a great guy who’s been helping the priest run our classes, and he seems like he might be game to help one/some of us (it’s more than just me in this situation) by being their sponsor. Now this would be far less weird because at least I know the guy, but my question is can we share a sponsor? So, other dude and lady who also don’t know any Catholics, can all three of us glom onto one sponsor?

There was a pamphlet that the Archdiocese of Toronto provided about sponsors, and who can and can’t be one, etc, but the two questions above weren’t addressed…

Any insight would be sincerely welcomed!

 

[Chatter163]

This is an extremely common situation, and happens all the time at most parishes. There is absolutely nothing to feel bad about. It is part of the nature of the RCIA process. I have been asked to act as a confirmation sponsor to complete strangers several times–including once just minutes before the bishop arrived.

Do not worry about it; keep supporting the RCIA or CCD programs after you are confirmed, and soon you will be able to do the same for others. Pass it on…

 

[brigid12]

Relax. It is their responsibility. All the ideas will be gone over by the RCIA director, who is in charge of that.

 

[1ke]

Relax.

Ask your pastor for a sponsor and that’s all you need to do. Yes, a person can be a sponsor to more than one person, so no problem. Yes, you should have a sponsor, and no it’s not an imposition on them.

 

[CanadianNewbie]

Relax.

Ask your pastor for a sponsor and that’s all you need to do. Yes, a person can be a sponsor to more than one person, so no problem. Yes, you should have a sponsor, and no it’s not an imposition on them.

That is exactly the word I was looking for, 1ke!

Imposition. It feels like I’m imposing hugely on a complete stranger, and I just don’t know how to be comfortable with that. I’m entirely new to all this - is it customary to get your sponsor like a thank-you present or something?

 

[marbleartist]

I have been a sponsor 8 times- and I assure you that it isn’t an imposition. It is a privilege and an honor to accompany a person on their journey into the church. As the others have already mentioned, just let your priest or RCIA leader know that you need a sponsor and they will get you one. They usually have a list of volunteers from the parish- at least, we have a list of people who love to sponsor in our parish. As an added bonus, you will make a new friend! I will keep you in my prayers as we approach Easter! Welcome!

 

[tawny]

This is an extremely common situation, and happens all the time at most parishes. There is absolutely nothing to feel bad about. It is part of the nature of the RCIA process. I have been asked to act as a confirmation sponsor to complete strangers several times–including once just minutes before the bishop arrived.

Do not worry about it; keep supporting the RCIA or CCD programs after you are confirmed, and soon you will be able to do the same for others. Pass it on…

 

[Horton]

While I was in RCIA the sponsor I had picked turned out to be a complete whack job and I had to ask him to step aside. The RCIA leaders agreed with my decision once I explained the circumstances and found me a new sponsor. She is still a very dear friend and she helped me in many more ways than as a confirmation sponsor. Since then I have been involved with RCIA every year.

I am honored and blessed to be confirmation sponsor for anyone who needs one. I’ve also stepped in last minute to cover for a sponsor who was not able to make it to one rite or another. Trust me, those who sponsor new Catholics coming home feel far more blessed than imposed upon.

 

[jmcrae]

So, my question is: Is a sponsor actually set-in-stone required? Do I have to have one? Like, no question, double underline, have to?

Yes, it is a Canon Law requirement.

Additionally, as a follow up question: There’s a great guy who’s been helping the priest run our classes, and he seems like he might be game to help one/some of us (it’s more than just me in this situation) by being their sponsor. Now this would be far less weird because at least I know the guy, but my question is can we share a sponsor? So, other dude and lady who also don’t know any Catholics, can all three of us glom onto one sponsor?

Yes. Be sure to all stand together at the Rites so that he doesn’t have to run around the room while the priest is speaking.

We use last year’s RCIA grads as sponsors for those who don’t have family members who are Catholic.

 

[InNomineDomini]

It feels like I’m imposing hugely on a complete stranger, and I just don’t know how to be comfortable with that.

Being able to sponsor someone coming into the Church – whether they be a catechumen or a confirmation candidate – should be a huge honor and a massive joy in a person’s life.

Anyone who views it in other ways needs to spend more time in serious prayer.

Any anxiety you’re feeling about any of this, whether it be about your sponsor or anything else at all, is an attack from the enemy, who is jealous of the wonderful graces God is pouring into your life.

God bless you, trust in God, and BE NOT AFRAID!

 

[ctb95]

That is exactly the word I was looking for, 1ke!

Imposition. It feels like I’m imposing hugely on a complete stranger, and I just don’t know how to be comfortable with that. I’m entirely new to all this - is it customary to get your sponsor like a thank-you present or something?

I’m a college freshman in RCIA, and when the classes started, I was only on campus for a few weeks. The only Catholics I knew were at the Newman center. When I found out that I needed a sponsor, I asked a person who I knew for only a week, but I could tell she was deeply spiritual. She considered it an honor, and we have since become good friends.

My point is, don’t be afraid to ask someone, even if you don’t know them well. Who knows, you might make a friend along the way!

Also, I think it would be courteous to get your sponsor a thank you gift. Sponsors (my sponsor at least) put in a lot of time and effort. They would really appreciate it!

 

[GoldenSeal]

The person in charge of RCIA in our parish asked someone to sponsor me. That’s the way it’s done here; I didn’t realize that elsewhere people have to ask someone to sponsor them.

My sponsor started out as a stranger but is now a close friend. As it turned out, we live close to each other, and we have many common interests. I believe that the Holy Spirit actually selected a sponsor for me.

Best wishes!

 

[ArchAngeles]

If I could I’d be glad to do that for you. At this point, however, I am looking forward to being confirmed and received this Easter Vigil as well. Afterward I do want to stay with the RCIA team. If someone needs a sponsor once I’m able to be one, they’ll have one.

 

[Isca]

We had two catechists assisting on the RCIA course, and they sponsored us - none of us had sponsors and I didn’t personally know any Catholics, apart from my elderly MIL who lives at the other end of the country. I see the lady who was my sponsor at church on a regular basis and she is a wonderful and spiritual person, an elderly lady who has to contend with a lot of ill-health - but she devotes so much time to helping others.

I gave her a small gift of a framed Bible verse which she really liked, something like that seemed appropriate.

 

[z_0101]

Having been thru RCIA myself, and having been on the RCIA-Team, I can assure you that there are many that will step-up to help.

My personal recommendation:
Chose a sponsor that will hold you accountable, one that will ask you the last time you went to Mass if they haven’t seen you attend in awhile, one that will drag you to confession when you haven’t been in awhile.

Next to my wife, my next closest friends are our sponsors.
I’ll give you an example, or two:
For that first year or two, my wife’s sponsor and mine (they are also married) would call and ask which Mass we were going to attend and at least one of them would be their and usually both, with all of the kids. For us, it was a great deal of support to have them there, to walk us thru the missilette for awhile until we “got-it.” Often, when they would be taking their kids to confession over the summer, they’d call and say, we’re going, want that we should pick you and kid up and we can all go.
Not pushy, just, helpful… these are good people, their oldest girl is like my daughter’s twin sister - well, they’re close.

Another example: due to just schedules and life, my wife hadn’t been able to go to confession. I got called into work, kids got sick, etc… so the “girls” were going to go shopping, so I mentioned the issues we’d been having with my Wife being able to attend confession to her sponsor. Yep, that’s right, they stopped in a church that had an early confession and they went to Mass that night… and they had the older girls with them so they all went - and I got to goto Mass on Sunday all by myself ( - no kids to chase, spent some time after the Mass in the chapel, hmm… )

Yes, IMHO, chose a sponsor that will drag you to your cross as they pick up their cross on the way.

 

[thankulord]

That is lovely that you are becoming Catholic. It will be a pleasure for someone to be yours sponsor, no matter what the situation (as you explained). It is touching for most Catholics to know someone who has decided to enter the Church, especially in your case with no family or friends that are Catholic. God bless you!

 

[casslean]

First - congratulations! From someone in the same position, it’s a little overwhelming seeing how close it is, isn’t it? I keep looking at the calendar and the class schedule and wondering where the time has gone.

Second - no one who offers or agrees to be a sponsor will consider it an imposition. I showed up to RCIA without a sponsor, from a non-religious family, and my nearest Catholic acquaintance was two hours away. The priest who runs our classes found me a sponsor by the second class. When others find out that I am coming into the church, they are always quick to ask if I have or will be needing a sponsor, and even without being sponsors, they are happy to help and welcome me. My experience has been that people are, almost without exception, incredibly happy and enthusiastic to welcome someone new into the Church, and to do what they can to help.

Third - it will be such a benefit to you to have that relationship with a person who is actually in the Church. It makes getting involved in activities so much easier, and gives you a conduit to meet the wider Church community. As you continue on this journey, you will want those people in your life, especially if you don’t have a lot of support from family and friends.

 

[Chatter163]

I think that something that should be mentioned is that sometimes people choose their sponsors well in advance, because someone has already been a key part of their spiritual journey. Others ask their RCIA leaders to choose a sponsor.

In the latter case, sometimes the sponsor and the confirmand develop a friendship that endures, and other times they never see each other again. There is no set rule. If the sponsor is someone that you will see around the church in the days ahead, sure, a small present is a nice touch, but it is in no way expected. Either way don’t sweat it. They were asked because they were available and willing.

 

[1ke]

That is exactly the word I was looking for, 1ke!

Imposition. It feels like I’m imposing hugely on a complete stranger, and I just don’t know how to be comfortable with that. I’m entirely new to all this - is it customary to get your sponsor like a thank-you present or something?

It is customary for a sponsor to give a gift to their candidate, typically something religious such as a crucifix, rosary, etc.

It would be a nice gesture to give your sponsor thank you note and even a small gesture such as a small gift or gift card.