RCIA Sponsor Question (required to attend two masses a week)

[JHC]

Hi

My wife is currently enrolled in RCIA.

Right now they are required to attend mass as a group with their sponsors, but then the candidates leave as a group before the Eucharist to go have another meeting, but the sponsors stay for the Eucharist.

Yesterday the sponsors were informed they will now also be required to leave mass before the Eucharist so they will have to attend another mass to receive the Eucharist. They also have a two-hour long meeting before mass. This will be for two months.

This seems a bit overbearing to me. My wife’s sponsor is kind of in a panic. She is already attending a different parish to be with my wife for this. She is afraid to speak up as not to cause conflict.

Any advice?

Thank you

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I thought sponsors just had to be Catholics in good standing. Is it every weekend for these 2 months? I think most people who work or don’t live near the parish would struggle with this.

 

[JHC]

I thought sponsors just had to be Catholics in good standing. Is it every weekend for these 2 months? I think most people who work or don’t live near the parish would struggle with this.

The problem is that the sponsors go to mass, but will leave before communion with the RCIA candidates to for more discussion / class. So the sponsors have to go to an additional mass to receive communion.

And yes, it’s for the next two months.

 

[DignumEtJustum]

There is no reason to attend another Mass. They should simply go to the priest after and ask for Holy Communion. Furthermore, reception of Communion is not required more than once a year.

 

[JHC]

Maybe they can arrange that with the priest. Thank you. Even though it’s not required some still really desire it. It all still seems awkward.

 

[casslean]

That does seem like quite an onerous burden, for both the sponsors AND candidates - over two hours of meetings a week? That seems extreme to me,

My program didn’t dismiss candidates from the Mass, for which I am incredibly grateful - I stress out quite a lot at new experiences and I think having those months of being able to sit and watch and learn the Liturgy of the Eucharist made my transition into the church much easier.

 

[Usige]

Personally I think it is ludicrous to make the sponsors leave mass, but then again I think dismissal of the whole RCIA class is silly. In general only the unbaptized should be dismissed (i.e. catechumen). This is in keeping with ancient tradition where the unbaptized are not to partake in the mysteries of the Eucharist. It is fine to invite candidates and sponsors to join them in breaking open the word, but it should never be required as all baptized are already part of the body of Christ.

Despite my personal feelings, I doubt the RCIA team would listen. At best you could talk to the pastore and discuss the appropriateness of requiring Catholics to leave during the most holy sacrifice. He might not even be aware that the RCIA leader is making requirements that are not theirs to make.

This isn’t just about receiving the Eucharist but essentially being excluded from one of the greatest mysteries of the faith. For one it means that the person losses opportunity for a partial indulgence for praying in adoration during the elevation in the Eucharistic rite. It is wrong to just turn the Eucharistic rites into nothing but reception of the Eucharist. That is to minimize everything that surrounds it.

I feel for your wife’s sponsor. If your wife is already baptized she shouldn’t be dismissed, but requiring the sponsor to leave is just piling on another insult to the dignity of someone who is already a member of the body of Christ. :nope:

 

[Casilda]

Personally I think it is ludicrous to make the sponsors leave mass, but then again I think dismissal of the whole RCIA class is silly. In general only the unbaptized should be dismissed (i.e. catechumen). This is in keeping with ancient tradition where the unbaptized are not to partake in the mysteries of the Eucharist. It is fine to invite candidates and sponsors to join them in breaking open the word, but it should never be required as all baptized are already part of the body of Christ.

Despite my personal feelings, I doubt the RCIA team would listen. At best you could talk to the pastore and discuss the appropriateness of requiring Catholics to leave during the most holy sacrifice. He might not even be aware that the RCIA leader is making requirements that are not theirs to make.

This isn’t just about receiving the Eucharist but essentially being excluded from one of the greatest mysteries of the faith. For one it means that the person losses opportunity for a partial indulgence for praying in adoration during the elevation in the Eucharistic rite. It is wrong to just turn the Eucharistic rites into nothing but reception of the Eucharist. That is to minimize everything that surrounds it.

I feel for your wife’s sponsor. If your wife is already baptized she shouldn’t be dismissed, but requiring the sponsor to leave is just piling on another insult to the dignity of someone who is already a member of the body of Christ. :nope:

As someone who was a victim of several ill-conceived and/or ill-administered rcia programs, I would take the above advice and talk to the priest.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

As someone who was a victim of several ill-conceived and/or ill-administered rcia programs, I would take the above advice and talk to the priest.

Absolutely! Unlike any RCIA requirement I’ve ever encountered in 3 parishes I’ve volunteered at. Smacks more of “power trip” than RCIA. Definitely question it.

 

[DignumEtJustum]

Depending on how far along the RCIA program is, I’d consider just looking for another one offered by a faithful priest. I wouldn’t want to learn the faith from a layperson anymore than I’d want to receive Communion from one.

 

[thequeen]

I am so glad. that I had private instruction. The wonderful priest who instructed me told me that I needed to to be there for the whole Mass even.though I could not receive communion because he told that it was important that I learn the order of the whole Mass.

 

[Dorothy]

Maybe they can arrange that with the priest. Thank you. Even though it’s not required some still really desire it. It all still seems awkward.

I totally agree with you that it is awkward. Doesn’t anyone want to discuss with the priest how inconvenient it is? Perhaps he needs to know. If it doesn’t work, another parish might be better. Or perhaps it works okay for the others but not for your wife’s sponsor.

 

[Dorothy]

There is no reason to attend another Mass. They should simply go to the priest after and ask for Holy Communion. Furthermore, reception of Communion is not required more than once a year.

Once a year is so minimal. Perhaps that is suggested to tweak the conscience of those who stay away from the Eucharist and Sacrament of Reconciliation for a long time.

 

[PJM]

Hi

My wife is currently enrolled in RCIA.

Right now they are required to attend mass as a group with their sponsors, but then the candidates leave as a group before the Eucharist to go have another meeting, but the sponsors stay for the Eucharist.

Yesterday the sponsors were informed they will now also be required to leave mass before the Eucharist so they will have to attend another mass to receive the Eucharist. They also have a two-hour long meeting before mass. This will be for two months.

This seems a bit overbearing to me. My wife’s sponsor is kind of in a panic. She is already attending a different parish to be with my wife for this. She is afraid to speak up as not to cause conflict.

Any advice?

Thank you

THAT decision is from the Pastor and OR the DRE [director of religious education]

As one who co-taught RCIA for 3 years; the last year as the teacher of the group that had to leave Mass where we shared the reading and explained it to them & took their questions.

We didn’t have the 2 hour meeting, BUT that is an indication that the Pastor is taking His RESPONSIBILITIES very seriously [not that others do not].

This is a benefit NOT a “cross”

Please encourage your wife’s sponsor to SPEAK UP, but IN PRIVATE, not publicly, Before or after class:thumbsup:

BUT faith formation is CRITICAL and Aug to Easter is NOT sufficient time to actually teach our Catholic Faith, so my recommendation is just go with it IF at all possible.

Mark 8:34
And calling the multitude together with his disciples, he said to them: If any man will follow me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

God Bless you BOTH!

Patrick

 

[Roseeurekacross]

Hi

My wife is currently enrolled in RCIA.

Right now they are required to attend mass as a group with their sponsors, but then the candidates leave as a group before the Eucharist to go have another meeting, but the sponsors stay for the Eucharist.

Yesterday the sponsors were informed they will now also be required to leave mass before the Eucharist so they will have to attend another mass to receive the Eucharist. They also have a two-hour long meeting before mass. This will be for two months.

This seems a bit overbearing to me. My wife’s sponsor is kind of in a panic. She is already attending a different parish to be with my wife for this. She is afraid to speak up as not to cause conflict.

Any advice?

Thank you

That happens at my Parish, sponsors leave with candidates. We make a ceremony of it. Inviting them to the front for blessing. The sponsors can get communion outside mass by a communion minister giving it to them in the presbytery right after mass. Just like the ministers go to homes of the sick to give communion. Esp if the sponsors work during the week and cant attend daytime masses.

Could you suggest that? Its only 5 minutes for a special minister after mass.

 

[JHC]

Thank you all.

The two-hour meeting isn’t a problem and that’s before mass. That’s what my wife has been doing already. She enjoys it. They meet again for a little while after they leave mass.

The sponsors just found out about the new requirements yesterday (about leaving mass early before communion too) at a sponsor-only meeting.

I don’t know how involved the Pastor is in this. He doesn’t go to the meetings. It’s on Sundays…

 

[JHC]

That happens at my Parish, sponsors leave with candidates. We make a ceremony of it. Inviting them to the front for blessing. The sponsors can get communion outside mass by a communion minister giving it to them in the presbytery right after mass. Just like the ministers go to homes of the sick to give communion. Esp if the sponsors work during the week and cant attend daytime masses.

Could you suggest that? Its only 5 minutes for a special minister after mass.

Yes someone suggested that. It sounds good to me. Thanks.

 

[casslean]

I am so glad. that I had private instruction. The wonderful priest who instructed me told me that I needed to to be there for the whole Mass even.though I could not receive communion because he told that it was important that I learn the order of the whole Mass.

Mine wasn’t private, but we were taught by a priest (and an excellent one) whose thinking was similar. Not so much that we learn the order of the Mass, but that we develop an appreciation for and understanding of the entire Mass, not just the Liturgy of the Word. And for me, I think, it had a real, tangible effect. By the time that we reached the beginning of Lent, I was starting to feel what I now understand to be a longing for the Eucharist - a wish to fully participate, to really be part of the church.

PJM:

BUT faith formation is CRITICAL and Aug to Easter is NOT sufficient time to actually teach our Catholic Faith, so my recommendation is just go with it IF at all possible.

I’m not sure I agree with the sentiment behind this statement. I don’t believe RCIA is intended to be a comprehensive instruction on the Catholic faith - it’s seems to me more of an introduction to the faith, a foundation given to thoughtful, mature, willing adults who should be taking initiative to learn on their own between classes and who should be continuing their formation even after their initiation. It’s been almost two years since I came into the church, and I still read voraciously, and frequently go to my pastor with countless questions and inquiries. I know not everyone is like that, but I don’t really think RCIA is intended to be “Catholicism for Dummies”.

 

[DignumEtJustum]

Once a year is so minimal. Perhaps that is suggested to tweak the conscience of those who stay away from the Eucharist and Sacrament of Reconciliation for a long time.

Confession and reception of Holy Communion is only required once a year to remain a Catholic but certainly it is preferred the faithful partake in both sacraments weekly. In this case it may just be easiest to forgo reception of Communion for a while but I personally would just ask the priest for it later.

 

[Joe_5859]

Different parishes do things differently. I don’t think we need to infer that the RCIA director is some unyielding experimental liturgist on a power trip. Let’s extend some benefit of the doubt.

I can understand why your wife’s sponsor might feel burdened by the time commitment. That’s why my preference is generally not to dismiss people halfway through Mass. In my present parish, in the past, they have done that (for the Rite of Election, they had to go to the Rite of Sending, get dismissed, then drive several hours to the diocesan cathedral for the Rite of Election—neither of which satisfied the Sunday Mass obligation). Now that I am here, that won’t be happening. I can understand the reasons for it (for the unbaptized) and there is something to be said for it. But it can certainly add to the time commitment.

I think she has two options. First, just go with the flow. Worst case scenario—it will be over in two months. She can just make peace with it and offer it up for your wife.

Option two, either your wife or her sponsor can bring it up to the RCIA director. I would recommend doing that before going to the pastor. As the guy in charge of RCIA at my parish, I know I would appreciate that. And if you went to the pastor first, he would just forward it on to me anyway. If for some reason the RCIA director totally rebuffed any and all concerns, then they might talk to the pastor. But talking to the RCIA director first would be the way to go.

But realize, even if she pursues option #2, nothing might change. So then she can decide if that’s really a hill she wants to die on. It’s one extra hour a week for 8 weeks, and it’s an hour spent in prayer. I understand people have busy lives and maybe that extra time is just too much to juggle. If that is the case, she should stress that to the RCIA director.