RCIA sponsor

[Mgray82]

I will be enrolling in the RCIA program in the fall. Easy question;

Can my girlfriend be my RCIA sponsor? Or if not her, another close catholic friend? Or do I have an assigned sponsor, or is it basically up to the parish?

 

[achmafooma]

Some parishes seem to prefer to assign a sponsor… but most that I’ve had experience with allow/encourage people to choose their own, and only ‘assign’ one when somebody doesn’t know any suitable sponsors.

Your girlfriend can sponsor you, assuming that she meets the requirements, as can any other Catholic friends/acquaintances. Here are the requirements (quoting in parts from Canon Law 874):

1. The person must have the ‘aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function’.
2. The person must be at least 16 years of age (unless the Bishop has established a different age, or the Pastor grants an exception for a ‘just cause’).
3. The person must be a Catholic, who has received Confirmation and the Eucharist, and who ‘leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on.’
4. The person must not be bound by any canonical penalty (I assume those are pretty rare).
5. The person must not be the ‘father or mother of the one to be Baptized’ (at least in the case of Baptism sponsors; not sure if this applies to Confirmation sponsors if you are already Baptized).

The main thing, in my opinion, is that the person is somebody who will help you to grow in the faith, both during your preparation for Confirmation and afterwards.

My only word of caution regarding your girlfriend sponsoring you would be that if you broke up in the future, I wouldn’t want you to basically ‘lose’ your sponsor. This isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker, but something that does warrant some consideration. If she would be willing to commit to continuing to help you develop your faith no matter what happens to the relationship, or if you think the relationship is solid and headed toward marriage, then would be less of an issue (or not an issue at all).

Congrats on your upcoming RCIA journey! As an RCIA ‘graduate’ myself (and now RCIA-coordinator), I hope you’ll find it as much of a blessing as I did. Please feel free to get in touch if you have any other questions.

God bless you!

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

We would discourage you in the strongest possible way from having your girlfriend as your sponsor. There are at least two practical reasons for this. One is that a sponsor needs to have a certain level of detachment – you need to be free to choose to be or not to be Catholic without pressure from your sponsor. There is also an issue of what would happen if you and your girlfriend should split up. You have a fight, never want to see each other again, and then there’s that rite on Sunday morning and she’s standing next to you. It can make things messy.

But that’s what we do and other parishes may handle things differently.

 

[Aggies08]

We would discourage you in the strongest possible way from having your girlfriend as your sponsor. There are at least two practical reasons for this. One is that a sponsor needs to have a certain level of detachment – you need to be free to choose to be or not to be Catholic without pressure from your sponsor. There is also an issue of what would happen if you and your girlfriend should split up. You have a fight, never want to see each other again, and then there’s that rite on Sunday morning and she’s standing next to you. It can make things messy.

POD for our church, as well.

If you don’t know anyone, they can also assign you someone

 

[Phemie]

If you are already baptized and being received into full communion, you may pick anyone to be your sponsor as long as they meet the requirements (fully initiated Catholic, living a life consistent with the Catholic faith, over 16 but not your parent). I would discourage asking your girl friend for the same reasons everyone already has, but I know that spouses are often the sponsor for someone being received.

If you are not baptized, your parish may opt to assign you a sponsor for the period of the catechumenate. Some parishes even prefer that such a sponsor be of the same gender. That period can be quite intense and having someone who is not so close to you and more objective can be much better.

But later, when you are about to be baptized, another person of your choice, who meets all the above requirements, can be chosen to be your ‘godparent’. That person steps in to accompany you at the Rite of Election, at the celebration of initiation and during the period of mystagogy. There is nothing that forbids your girlfriend from becoming your godmother, but you may want to think of someone else you’d like to have in that role.