Re: Catholic converts

[CB_Catholic]

I am on the RCIA team and I love converts. They are so on fire and contribute so much to our parish life. if anything, I am a little in awe of them. Many have suffered some personal losses in terms of family and friends and much criticism because of their choice to become Catholic. And most of them know more about the Catholic faith than most of our cradle Catholics. They might not be familiar with all the customs and traditions, but they do know the doctrine and a lot of the theology. Many of ours have spent a lot of time doing reading and research outside of the RCIA class. They are awesome.

 

[7_Sorrows]

First, thank all of you for your replies. i am sorry i didn’t get on sooner, but i had to work today and then went to the Good Friday service this evening.

I am glad to see that most of the posts are positive about converts. it is a little initimidating to join a church where everyone has their Catholic school experiences to share with one another or where most have come from families that have been Catholic for generations. I have to admit, i am envious that i didn’t have a Catholic upbringing by being baptized in the Catholic church and attending Catholic school and even a Catholic university or college. i only wish my life could have been Catholic from the beginning, but i am here now, so i guess that is all that matters.

Since I have become Catholic most people have been very nice to me. Of course, this summer will be my 4th anniversary of being Catholic, so maybe i am getting more comfortable.

One day, I had lunch with a woman in the parish who is a cradle Catholic and i mentioned a time when i was angry with God. it was a period that lasted for many years. she didn’t ask why i was angry, but simply pointed out that i hadn’t been raised Catholic. I took it to mean, that even though I had grown up in another Christian church i was somehow defective and if you are Catholic, you never have any reason to be angry with God. Immediately, i felt ashamed or guilty, like i would probably never be seen as a good Catholic in her eyes.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Hi 7 Sorrows,

I’m a cradle Catholic, and I think that converts are one of God’s greatest gift to His Church. Converts like you are proof of God’s divine providence. We, cradle Catholics, sometimes take our faith for granted, and converts have been instruments in setting us cradles ablaze with renewed faith. Personally, converts like Scott Hahn inspired me to take a deeper dive into my faith.

Maybe you’re missing the warm fuzzy feeling of your former ecclessial community.

thank you for your positive feelings about converts. speaking as a convert, i do pray that more people will be led by the Holy Spirit to join the Catholic Church. i definitely am not sorry that i joined and became a Catholic. my faith has grown in the almost 4 years since i converted. i feel like i am home. to be honest, i didn’t even attend any church for almost 25 years. then i returned to the church i grew up in, the episcopal church, and began studying about Catholicism and Anglicanism. i always felt 1/2 Catholic growing up in the episcopal church. i wanted to learn more about the Catholic church as a 16 year old. i am sorry that it took me until i was 56 to become a Catholic - 40 years!!! i just want to continue to grow in my faith and one of my favorite things of being Catholic besides the Mass is Eucharistic Adoration.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I LOVE converts. But then, in a sense, I am one. Actually I refer to myself as a revert since I was raised in the faith but then was away from the Church for many years before returning in 2007.

Seriously, converts bring a great and wonderful vitality to the Church, specially converts who were previously very active in another Christian community.
It may be that “lifelong” (and possibly lukewarm) Catholics are put off by that vitality.

Peace
James

thank you. you gave me some things to think about. i guess i need to keep up my vitality. i do enjoy going to all of the It’s Good To Be Catholic Classes and try to use every opportunity to keep learning about my new faith!

 

[7_Sorrows]

Individuals are all afflicted with the frailty of man, and you may be sensing some resistance to you from some individuals.

My experience is the opposite. After three years in RCIA, I am receiving the sacraments of initiation tomorrow night. I have been receiving words of encouragement from people I have not met, and there were more than a few people who came to Holy Thursday Mass because Father washed my feet.

We converts are doubly blessed. The Holy Spirit has guided us to accept Him and proclaim our faith AND we have the support, welcome and guidance of all of the catechists and parishioners who are representing Christ’s Church.

I pray that your journey will continue on a more positive note for you.

Congratulations!!! it sounds like you definitely aren’t rushing into your decision and have given yourself plenty of time to discern that this is right for you. WELCOME!!!

 

[7_Sorrows]

Well, I think that there are three things going on-people who were raised Catholic like to think they know everything by osmosis and don’t like the idea that people who have converted know more than they do; some people who were raised Catholic have experienced their Catholicism differently than some people who have converted; ethnicity.

Let me explain what I think about the last two, because its a little bit fuzzy. When I think of what’s important to be about the Catholic Church, one of the first things that springs to mind is the school system. My parents and grandparents all went to and taught at Catholic schools; to me a parish is not right if it doesn’t have a school, and when I imagine the ideal Catholic parish, its located in the heart of a city and plays another Catholic school for the city football championship every Thanksgiving. In other words, I imagine the idealized 1950’s Catholic parish, because that’s the image I learned. Some of us…this part is hard to explain, since “take for granted” is not the right word, since we appreciate the Mass, but idealize that part of it. This isn’t an absolute rule, but that sort of nostalgia is probably less common among converts than among people who were raised Catholic because that idealized urban Northeastern Catholic experience isn’t something they’d have been familiar with growing up. So its a little bit of a gap. And it spills over into other things-a lot of “cradle” Catholics have an instinctive respect for, say, Notre Dame or Boston College or Fordham that converts don’t because those aren’t magic names to them.

The other part is probably…well, bigotry isn’t the right word, but there is probably an instinctive thought by a lot of people in the United States that Smith and Johnson aren’t good Catholic names; Sosabowski and O’Hara and Ippolito are what you should be hearing.

So I think a good deal of it really boils down to nostalgia for the idealized world of Going My Way, and people come off as rude because they don’t realize it is hard to accept that what they experienced as a defining part of “growing up Catholic” is not an essential part of the religion. Just because you didn’t grow up in a neighborhood in Brooklyn and walk to Our Lady of Mount Carmel with all the other Italian boys and listen to the Dodgers on the radio (or listen to your grandfather telling you stories about that time) doesn’t make you a lesser Catholic.

so, if i understand you correctly, there are a lot of cultural Catholics then? or there used to be? i did grow up with my dad’s side of the family being Catholic. but only one aunt and uncle went to Mass on a somewhat regular basis and they didn’t really live a good Catholic life. my mother was a lutheran and she and my father neither went to church or encourage my sister and i to go. i think the holy spirit got a hold of me when i was a child, because i have always looked for a close relationship with God and wanted to be part of a religious community. i even considered being a nun when i was in high school!!
so the Catholic church was calling me from a young age. i do think most converts work hard to learn about being a good Catholic. but, we will never have the benefit as cradle catholics of having grand parents and great grandparents who were Catholic, or having a good Catholic educations and learning about the Catholic faith from childhood on.

 

[7_Sorrows]

sorry i don’t have time to reply to all of your posts, but thank you for taking the time to answer my question. you have made me feel a lot better.

 

[JRKH]

First, thank all of you for your replies. i am sorry i didn’t get on sooner, but i had to work today and then went to the Good Friday service this evening.

No problem. Glad the answers have been helpful

I am glad to see that most of the posts are positive about converts. it is a little intimidating to join a church where everyone has their Catholic school experiences to share with one another or where most have come from families that have been Catholic for generations. I have to admit, i am envious that i didn’t have a Catholic upbringing by being baptized in the Catholic church and attending Catholic school and even a Catholic university or college. i only wish my life could have been Catholic from the beginning, but i am here now, so i guess that is all that matters.

Yes indeed. You are home that IS all that matters.
As for those with the Catholic memories, perhaps you can listen and think…My kids will have these…It’s something I’ll pass on to my children.

Since I have become Catholic most people have been very nice to me. Of course, this summer will be my 4th anniversary of being Catholic, so maybe i am getting more comfortable.

One day, I had lunch with a woman in the parish who is a cradle Catholic and i mentioned a time when i was angry with God. it was a period that lasted for many years. she didn’t ask why i was angry, but simply pointed out that i hadn’t been raised Catholic. I took it to mean, that even though I had grown up in another Christian church i was somehow defective and if you are Catholic, you never have any reason to be angry with God. Immediately, i felt ashamed or guilty, like i would probably never be seen as a good Catholic in her eyes.

Well…Sometimes we all say things that we shouldn’t or speak before we have all the facts, and I guess this woman is no different. She should probably have asked for more details before making this observation.
As I’m sure you have learned, the Catholic Church is somewhat unique in it’s teachings on suffering and this can be of great help to one struggling with feelings of anger or disappointment in their life. This may have been what she was thinking about. If you had been Catholic at that time, you would have already had an understanding about suffering that might have helped you to not be angry with God…or for not as long.
Of course I’m just speculating.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

thank you. you gave me some things to think about. i guess i need to keep up my vitality. i do enjoy going to all of the It’s Good To Be Catholic Classes and try to use every opportunity to keep learning about my new faith!

Amen. The other thing is to try to become involved in Parish life as much as possible. You could volunteer to be an RCIA sponsor if someone needs one. Maybe see if you can get involved with the Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) program - things like that.

so, if i understand you correctly, there are a lot of cultural Catholics then? or there used to be? i did grow up with my dad’s side of the family being Catholic. but only one aunt and uncle went to Mass on a somewhat regular basis and they didn’t really live a good Catholic life. my mother was a lutheran and she and my father neither went to church or encourage my sister and i to go. i think the holy spirit got a hold of me when i was a child, because i have always looked for a close relationship with God and wanted to be part of a religious community. i even considered being a nun when i was in high school!!
so the Catholic church was calling me from a young age. i do think most converts work hard to learn about being a good Catholic. but, we will never have the benefit as cradle Catholics of having grand parents and great grandparents who were Catholic, or having a good Catholic educations and learning about the Catholic faith from childhood on.

Everyone has advantages and disadvantages. The cradle Catholics DO have an advantage in being raised in the faith, but that has it’s dangers too. There is a danger of being insulated from other viewpoints; a danger of taking for granted the great spiritual riches that the Church has to offer. I was raised Catholic and fell prey to this. I was away from the Church for 35 years. Of course, one can never quite shake that background and it did partly help me to come home.

The Convert brings a viewpoint to the table that is unique and should never be dismissed out of hand. Often times there is a familiarity with Scripture that most Catholics do not have. As one apologist said in a talk…Catholics know a lot of Scripture - but they just don’t know where to look it up (chapter and verse - or sometimes even “book”).
Cradle Catholics can become “bored” with the familiarity of the various “rituals”, mass, benediction, etc. the Convert reminds us of the great beauty and richness and meaning contained in these things.

The thing to remember is that ANY community is made up of many different types of folks. We all have our strengths and our faults.

Peace
James

 

[Padraig1972]

I have been treated well in my parish and in the catholic community. Sure there are some critical voices here and there because of my love for the rosary. Some liberals are lukewarm because i believe in the traditional values.

But that is fine, one cannot please all in the big catholic family. I love God, Lord Jesus Christ, Blessed Virgin Mary, the church and my big catholic family. That matters.

 

[DaveBj]

I can speak only for myself and for my own experience, but I have experienced only complete acceptance as a convert. Never have I experienced any hint of someone’s considering me a second-class citizen.

 

[JRKH]

Somehow the idea that someone would consider a convert to be “lesser” than a Cradle Catholic reminds me of the parable of the workers where those hired late in the day received the same wage as those who were hired first.

Peace
James

 

[rmills1]

There are some parishes in the Diocese in Baton Rouge where converts comprise a majority of parishioners.

 

[PatriceA]

Somehow the idea that someone would consider a convert to be “lesser” than a Cradle Catholic reminds me of the parable of the workers where those hired late in the day received the same wage as those who were hired first.

Peace
James

I’ve had one or two converts though treat me, the cradle Catholic, as “lesser” Catholic. That’s the only times I’ve had a problem with converts. Any other time, doesn’t matter when one became Catholic, the most important thing is that they ARE Catholic.

 

[fred_conty]

I am not sure if this is the correct forum, but I am a Catholic convert and I wonder at times what cradle Catholics think about converts. Are we really ever fully accepted or are we viewed with some suspicion? Maybe the questions sounds strange, but I remember feeling like I had to prove myself after I converted and I will be honest that there are times I don’t feel accepted by other Catholics in my parish as someone who is fully Catholic, but a convert. Maybe I have been too sensitive about it. Anyhow, just wondering if any cradle Catholics out there could give me their opinion. Thanks.

On day 2 I was baptised, just one day late.

I think what you are experiencing is the feeling a parent has for a young child, that is protective and watchful of it. For you have been given something brand new and we are just anxious that you grow strong in it. I personally am thrilled for the convert since I know all the good things that are ahead of them with Jesus.

I wish you to remain in Our Lord’s hands always. Communion of saints means that we are apart of one another.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I’ve had one or two converts though treat me, the cradle Catholic, as “lesser” Catholic. That’s the only times I’ve had a problem with converts. Any other time, doesn’t matter when one became Catholic, the most important thing is that they ARE Catholic.

i might be guilty of thinking of some catholics as lesser if they are more liberal minded.
i had another member of the parish (who does not agree with many of the teachings of the Church - i.e. female priests and homosexuality) say that the Pope is only encouraging converts to try to keep more conservatives in the Church. whether that is true or not, i don’t know, but i am a conservative. if i meet someone and they are liberal Catholic, i am very cautious because they seem so dissatisfied with the Church. i adore Pope Benedict XVI and think he is a wonderful Pope.
by the way, the Easter Vigil was beautiful this evening!

 

[7_Sorrows]

glad that most everyone who has converted have had positive experiences. mine for the most part have too. thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[Padraig1972]

i might be guilty of thinking of some catholics as lesser if they are more liberal minded.
i had another member of the parish (who does not agree with many of the teachings of the Church - i.e. female priests and homosexuality) say that the Pope is only encouraging converts to try to keep more conservatives in the Church. whether that is true or not, i don’t know, but i am a conservative. if i meet someone and they are liberal Catholic, i am very cautious because they seem so dissatisfied with the Church. i adore Pope Benedict XVI and think he is a wonderful Pope.
by the way, the Easter Vigil was beautiful this evening!

I respect liberals for sure, but are cautious being around, my catholic cousin that oddly converted the same day as me, is one of these liberals…which makes it challenging. But we are in different parishes and has agreed to live our faith separatly.

 

[figs]

Converts?
I don’t know any.

Seriously, I have NEVER thought, ‘hmmm, they are a convert, they are blah blah blah.’ It’s never been an issue for me and I don’t know anyone in our Parish who takes issue.

The way I see it is, we ALL have a journey to Mother Church, and each of our stories are different on how we got there, but we are ALL Catholic!

P.S. …and for Scott Hahn, sheesh, he’s forgotten more in 10 minutes then I will ever know in my lifetime!! Thank God for him!