Re-confessing old sins

[TheRealJuliane]

I tried the search feature but I got 999 results…



Here’s the scoop. I had a lot to confess once I returned to the Church. A lot. I think I confessed having used contraception (continuously for 20 years) in one of the communal confession services, to a priest who was a stranger, and he had a line of people waiting behind me. I know he absolved me, but I wonder if I really confessed the true gravity of my sins. It seemed to me at the time that what I was confessing wasn’t such a big deal, but as I recognize now, it’s a HUGE deal.

If I didn’t get the gravity across to this priest, should I confess my history again?

Please don’t tell me I am being scrupulous! I have a very bad past and I just feel as if the confession may not have been valid if I didn’t get across to the priest just how long I contracepted.

Thank you for your help.

 

[Joan_M]

I tried the search feature but I got 999 results…



Here’s the scoop. I had a lot to confess once I returned to the Church. A lot. I think I confessed having used contraception (continuously for 20 years) in one of the communal confession services, to a priest who was a stranger, and he had a line of people waiting behind me. I know he absolved me, but I wonder if I really confessed the true gravity of my sins. It seemed to me at the time that what I was confessing wasn’t such a big deal, but as I recognize now, it’s a HUGE deal.

If I didn’t get the gravity across to this priest, should I confess my history again?

Please don’t tell me I am being scrupulous! I have a very bad past and I just feel as if the confession may not have been valid if I didn’t get across to the priest just how long I contracepted.

Thank you for your help.

You confessed having used contraception. Normally it is required to confess how many times (such as - continuously for 20 years, as you stated above), however, it is also the priest’s duty to ask questions if he needs to know more than you have said. He would also know how long it had been since your last confession (trusting that you told him how long it had been), so he would have had the information he needed.

Don’t worry. You sins were absolved. They are gone. Rejoice!

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Here’s what you do. Find an exceptionally thorough examination of conscience for making a “General Confession” (Not to be confused with general absolution). A general confession is a confession one makes of ALL their sins of their entire life from the age of reason to the present, unless they have already made a general confession. In that case, one confesses all sins since their last general confession.

This examination of conscience will take some time, but it is well worth it. If you want to combine it with becoming more devout and holy, I recommend picking up a copy of St. Francis de Sales’ book, “Introduction to the Devout Life” and focus on the part about general confession and meditations for general confession.

Anyway, once your examination of conscience is complete go find the best confessor you can who actually values the sacrament for what it is and doesn’t turn it into something it isn’t. (If possible, I recommend finding yourself an FSSP priest, as they seem quite open and accepting of making general confessions, as well as staying past the allotted time if they have no where else to go.) Once you have located such a confessor, make your general confession (make sure you tell the priest it’s a general confession). I highly recommend not doing it before Mass starts or a time when it is really busy. If you go and it’s busy, let the other people go ahead of you. Some people will tell you to make an appointment. I didn’t, but mine only took 15 minutes to get through the entire book.

Once you have made your general confession, move on past those sins and focus on never committing them again.

 

[anp1215]

Here’s what you do. Find an exceptionally thorough examination of conscience for making a “General Confession” (Not to be confused with general absolution). A general confession is a confession one makes of ALL their sins of their entire life from the age of reason to the present, unless they have already made a general confession. In that case, one confesses all sins since their last general confession.

This examination of conscience will take some time, but it is well worth it. If you want to combine it with becoming more devout and holy, I recommend picking up a copy of St. Francis de Sales’ book, “Introduction to the Devout Life” and focus on the part about general confession and meditations for general confession.

Anyway, once your examination of conscience is complete go find the best confessor you can who actually values the sacrament for what it is and doesn’t turn it into something it isn’t. (If possible, I recommend finding yourself an FSSP priest, as they seem quite open and accepting of making general confessions, as well as staying past the allotted time if they have no where else to go.) Once you have located such a confessor, make your general confession (make sure you tell the priest it’s a general confession). I highly recommend not doing it before Mass starts or a time when it is really busy. If you go and it’s busy, let the other people go ahead of you. Some people will tell you to make an appointment. I didn’t, but mine only took 15 minutes to get through the entire book.

Once you have made your general confession, move on past those sins and focus on never committing them again.

I’ve never heard of this. I’m confused-why would one confess sins that have already been confessed?

 

[Edmundus1581]

I’ve never heard of this. I’m confused-why would one confess sins that have already been confessed?

Yes. The “why” is completely lacking from this post.

As I understand it, a general confession is not to ensure that past sins are properly confessed, but for healing of conscience and identification of persistent problems, and usually for a particular purpose, eg. before ordination. Most people never have a general confession and are not required to.

Juliane, others who have returned to the Church after a period of absence will have this problem. I returned to the Church “properly” after several years of laxity, including indulgence in sexual sins, and made an incomplete confession. It was almost "rushed’ in the circumstances. It was however sincere, and the priest knew, in general terms, how long I had been living like this and my behaviour; I did not withhold anything and I was open to any direction from him. Several years later, after learning more about confession, I asked another priest whether I should revisit that confession and he told me not to. I would not dream of asking again.

 

[Patsy_Lou]

Hi,
I went to a good priest friend of mine, who knew me well, and without even asking he absolved me from all of my past sins at a private confession after Mass when he had time. And it is still hard to believe that Jesus loves me that much—just keep trusting even if it is hard and so will I.

 

[floresco]

Please don’t tell me I am being scrupulous! I have a very bad past and I just feel as if the confession may not have been valid if I didn’t get across to the priest just how long I contracepted.

The Confession was valid unless you were deliberately withholding sins from the priest. You don’t need to confess it again, but it might be beneficial. If you have come to recognize the seriousness of an old sin in a way you didn’t before, you may feel moved to express your greater sense of contrition in the Sacrament. You will receive Grace from the Sacrament, even if you confess a sin that has already been forgiven.

 

[LilyM]

Remember in confession you are confessing to God through the priest. God knows what your sins are and what you intend to confess. The priest should have a good idea, but with the best will and the most thorough explanation in the world, is human and sometimes cannot be made to understand completely.

I have confessed in all sorts of situations, including to priests who had quite limited English and so might easily have misunderstood some of what I have said. Doesn’t matter - ultimately they are agents for God, who perfectly understands, and as long as I do not deliberately hold back any sins the absolution is good.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Yes. The “why” is completely lacking from this post.

As I understand it, a general confession is not to ensure that past sins are properly confessed, but for healing of conscience and identification of persistent problems, and usually for a particular purpose, eg. before ordination. Most people never have a general confession and are not required to.

Juliane, others who have returned to the Church after a period of absence will have this problem. I returned to the Church “properly” after several years of laxity, including indulgence in sexual sins. and made a very incomplete confession. It was almost "rushed’ in the circumstances. It was however sincere, and the priest knew, in general terms, how long I had been living like this and my behaviour; I did not withhold anything and I was open to any direction from him. Several years later, after learning more about confession, I asked another priest whether I should revisit that confession and he told me not to. I would not dream of asking again.

That’s how I remember feeling, “rushed” and the priest didn’t seem shocked or revolted or horrified, or angry. I guess somehow I imagined that he would chastise me, scold me, berate me, etc. or at least give me a really harsh penance.

Was it adequate? Perhaps not. Am I doubting God’s forgiveness? Probably a little.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

The Confession was valid unless you were deliberately withholding sins from the priest. You don’t need to confess it again, but it might be beneficial. If you have come to recognize the seriousness of an old sin in a way you didn’t before, you may feel moved to express your greater sense of contrition in the Sacrament. You will receive Grace from the Sacrament, even if you confess a sin that has already been forgiven.

Now this is an aspect I had not considered. “Moved to express my greater sense of contrition,” yes, I like that. I think I will ask the priest this Saturday if I can do just that.

Thanks!

 

[Bookcat]

We are obliged to confess mortal sins in kind and the number of times (according to what we know if we do not know the actual number). The priest will often ask questions and can do so if he needs to. But it is our obligation to accuse ourselves – to confess-- our mortal sins in number and kind (and circumstances that change the nature of the sin --like it was your brother you murdered).

When one was trying to make a good confession and be sorry etc and confess all ones mortal sins --it can happen that we forget some…especially after a longer period of time…but not a big worry…the forgotten sins can be indirectly absolved with the rest.

If we honestly forget to do so or the like – we are to mention it in the next confession (once we realize it) One can note to the Priest what happened.

As to the question of: a “general confession” can be devotional or it can involve matter that one now realizes was not confessed upon examination.

(those here with scruples I refer you to the direction of your regular confessor)

 

[thistle]

I tried the search feature but I got 999 results…



Here’s the scoop. I had a lot to confess once I returned to the Church. A lot. I think I confessed having used contraception (continuously for 20 years) in one of the communal confession services, to a priest who was a stranger, and he had a line of people waiting behind me. I know he absolved me, but I wonder if I really confessed the true gravity of my sins. It seemed to me at the time that what I was confessing wasn’t such a big deal, but as I recognize now, it’s a HUGE deal.

If I didn’t get the gravity across to this priest, should I confess my history again?

Please don’t tell me I am being scrupulous! I have a very bad past and I just feel as if the confession may not have been valid if I didn’t get across to the priest just how long I contracepted.

Thank you for your help.

If you confessed all the mortal sins you could remember and you received absolution then that is the end of it. If there are sins you genuinely forgot to confess but remember subsequently they are already forgiven but you should mention them at your next confession.
There is absolutely no need or requirement to re-confess sins you have already confessed and been given absolution for.
To answer a point you made in another post a priest is most certainly NOT required to berate you or be angry with you. I have never experienced that.
As for the penance it is not up to you to decide if its sufficient or not. You simply obey and accept whatever penance the priest gives you. Of course as with all of us you are free to do additional voluntary penance if you wish.

I believe you are being scrupulous.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

If you confessed all the mortal sins you could remember and you received absolution then that is the end of it. If there are sins you genuinely forgot to confess but remember subsequently they are already forgiven but you should mention them at your next confession.
There is absolutely no need or requirement to re-confess sins you have already confessed and been given absolution for.
To answer a point you made in another post a priest is most certainly NOT required to berate you or be angry with you. I have never experienced that.
As for the penance it is not up to you to decide if its sufficient or not. You simply obey and accept whatever penance the priest gives you. Of course as with all of us you are free to do additional voluntary penance if you wish.

I believe you are being scrupulous.

I know that, and even then, I knew it, but that is out of the guilt and shame I felt. I thought that I deserved to be punished to compensate for those sins. I mean, I didn’t think it exactly, but my guilty self craved the punishment.

I didn’t forget to confess the sins, but I do think the confession may have been incomplete compared with how I would do it now. I may have only said something like, “I used birth control for a long time,” or some such.

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

Hi, RealJulianne,:heaven:

You’re absolved, yes. I understand your feelings though.

Could you simply, for your own peace, next time at confession, tell the priest to help you with feelings of guilt, and just explain what you have here? There is no need to re-confess, but I often ask my Priest that if I am not fully aware of any sins, or not properly contrite, to bring these things to my attention.

You are forgiven. And I think there is nothing wrong though with mentioning your feelings to your trusted priest. God understands your struggles!

What I believe is that as we mature as God’s children, many things in the past which we confessed will suddenly be seen in a new light. We are often more shocked at our past actions as Christ draws us closer to him. :angel1:

You can rejoice in the fact that you have been absolved, and thank God for allowing you to now see things in a more mature light, even though you’ve already been forgiven. We’re all human, and it’s natural to return sometimes to things we have done. But please don’t lose faith over this.*

We’re all growing in love!
Growing pains may just go along with that!*:hug3:

Blessings,
Kathryn Ann:hug1::heaven: