OK - so, according to Catholic doctrine, my son is living in sin. I am not bristling here, I will not bristle. But the basic conflict I have here is how can any religion deny any infant Baptism? If both parents request it, and the child will attend CCD when age appropriate, is raised in a religious, loving and devoted family then how can we deny this sacrement? “Suffer little children to come unto me and forbid them not for such is the kingdom of God”. As a Catholic, you should know the Church is not sola scriptura. Attending Mass and participating in the local parish is the answer? Pretty much. The parents have to start living the faith they proclaim they want for their children. It can’t be the half-sibs from the previous marriage, or the grandparents. And they have to stop their forrays into the non-denominational church.
The facts are that they have been told the child (soon to be children) can not be baptised in the Catholic Church because they are not married in the eyes of the Church and they do not attend Mass regularly. Annulment has been explored, but with two children from the 1st marriage it is difficult to obtain. OK, I am not trying to be nasty, but did
you actually hear the priest say this, or your son and/ or daughter-in-law said it? You are back on what I thought we covered already. The decree of nullity has nothing to do with how many kids, or any kids, were produced in a putative marriage. I proved that back at that lovely site from the Diocese of Brooklyn.
Did you read that? Did you read the canon law web site from the Vatican? If you did, you might understand better that the priest is responsible for this young life being brought into the Church properly, not just before the Church, but before God. God holds the priest accountale. If the priest baptizes when he knows it’s a maybe yes, maybe no on the Catholic part, then the priest has got to ask for better proof first.
I received a decree of nullity form my first husband, and while it was not a walk in the park, it took no longer than the rest of the people who requested one, about nine months after the paperwork was up to snuff. And at the time, I had two kids.
A “menu” is a disrespectful term, in my opinion. But it’s accurate. Options is a better choice. I am not the one who said it, but I concur. And it is part of what is holding up the baptism of the other children. You son and his civil wife have to commit to the Church. It can’t be said they do so if they attend a non-demoninational ecclesial community, where anything goes.
I was raised in the Methodist religion and joined the Catholic church one year after marrying a Catholic in the Catholic Church. Do I come to this is a “tainted” perception? Possibly, but not brain-washed.
The rhetoric of the Church, the can’t, should’s and could’s and have to’s, are what drives many young people away from the Catholic Church. Less judgmental, more loving and open and compansionate would go a long way. Excuse me, but I take offense at this. Hopefully, you catechized your son as to the rules and regs of the Church. He knew when he civilly married without obtaining a decree of nullity that he was wrong. He can’t claim to be a Catholic and then do as he pleases.
The child is not living in an "adulterous relationship:…the child did not chose to end a bad marriage…the child inherited these circumstances…the child is “right with God”, or at least would be if Baptism was granted. Baptism is not just about washing away of sin. It is not just a pretty ceremony. Baptism also means being raised as a Catholic. If your son and his civil wife are not willing to do what it takes- and it’s a lot more than sending them to religious education- then they are not capable of making the necessary promises.
Their lives are not evident of even trying to be Catholic, in that they have not attempted to regularize their marriage, and they attend a non-denominational ecclesial community. The brunt of the religious education of the older children appears to fall on
your ex-daughter-in-law, not your son.
Have you talked with your own priest about this being so upsetting to you? Aside from posting here and being upset, have you actually done the necessary research? I pointed you to two very good web sites. We are all trying to tell you the why. It’s like you don’t want to hear it.
Marian
