RE: Marriage without First Holy Communion and First Confession

[InJesusChrist]

My one couple married against there parents will. He is my cousin and 18 years old and. His wife is 16 years old and. They left their houses last week. Mt maternal uncle found them last Friday. It is lot of disgrace for parents here in my country if any parents children leave there house for marriage purpose. Parents feel lot of guilty especially girls families. People aren’t like these kinds of families.
Both families are Catholic but one Pastor did the confirmation because you know priests are against this kind of marriage those are so quick and on the spot.
After the marriage my uncle push them out the house and now a days they are live in near my town on the rent and I know they are not very well to mention there house. They are not adult because of there sense. All families are anger with them. But I am go some time in there house and tell them how to live their after the marriage. What are problems and responsibilities after the marriage. They are really alone.
Which things I want to discuss with you that they both have not First Holy Communion and First Confession Sacraments. Because my uncle work in army and my cousin’s father in law also work in army so there are not any church near where they are live. But they all have Baptism Sacrament by Priest.
So what you think that new couple is in sin or not?
I want to make their First Confession and First Holy Communion Sacraments by Priest. Will priest give them permission or not?
There marriage service held by pastor, so are they still Catholic?
I really want to then some thing because they are not strong in the faith and strong in the practical life.
So please tell me am I right on the way with them and what more I can want to do for them are. And please keep them both in yours prayers. They are really necessary thing for life.
Thanks.

 

[MyPhilomena]

Hi,

first off, if this couple was married in a catholic church, that would surprise me considering the fact that they have not received Holy
Communion or even first communion. They need to go to RCIA
and study the catechism.

The priest will likely have their marriage blessed then at some point. then they can have first communion and then confirmation.

If they are serious about staying married and it is not just a whim
( meaning not just a passing fancy ) and they want to be practicing Catholics, they have to go to RCIA.

Talk to your priest about this situation and see what he has to say
about this situation. You can enoucrage them to start studying the catechism of the Catholic Church. Find out if your parish has a class that is starting soon. i do not know what the requirements
are in your country, but over here in North America, the RCIA usually starts every October, dependeing on the diocese I guess?

The first thing to do is to talk to a priest, tell him everything ang go from there. Ask the couple if they would be willing to go meet
with the priest. Let us know how this works out.

God bless you.

 

[Karin]

Does anybody have ANY issues or see a problem that an ADULT (18y/o) married a CHILD (16y/o)???
I would be heading to the POLICE STATION and filing charges if an adult married my minor child with out PARENTAL CONSENT…I mean how did they even get a marriage liscense(sp?)!

 

[maryjk]

Does anybody have ANY issues or see a problem that an ADULT (18y/o) married a CHILD (16y/o)???
I would be heading to the POLICE STATION and filing charges if an adult married my minor child with out PARENTAL CONSENT…I mean how did they even get a marriage liscense(sp?)!

From reading the OP, it didn’t sound like this happened in the US. If it didn’t, then we don’t know what the age of consent is in their country. This may be normal, there are only two years between the man and the woman.

Nothing magical happens to change a child to an adult, other then US law, when someone turns 18. When I turned 18, I was still in highschool. And still needed a note from my parents when I was sick. BEFORE my father was 18, he had joined the Army, and was being sent overseas. Maybe in their country, 16 is old enough to be married without telling their parents.

 

[Karin]

Maybe in their country, 16 is old enough to be married without telling their parents.

 

[BillP]

Karin,

Two US states don’t require parental consent for marriage of 16 or 17 y.o. In Georgia, if the girl is pregnant (and has a MD certificate) she can marry w/o her parents consent.

 

[Karin]

Thanks…I have to say that I am sure glad I dont live in one of those states!

 

[MariaG]

Does anybody have ANY issues or see a problem that an ADULT (18y/o) married a CHILD (16y/o)???
I would be heading to the POLICE STATION and filing charges if an adult married my minor child with out PARENTAL CONSENT…I mean how did they even get a marriage liscense(sp?)!

We now raise our children with an extended childhood.

My grandfather was 18 when he married my 15 (almost 16) year old grandmother. No one called the police of was thought that just because he was 18, instead of 17 that it was an adult marrying a child. It was two young adults getting married.

 

[Karin]

We now raise our children with an extended childhood.

My grandfather was 18 when he married my 15 (almost 16) year old grandmother. No one called the police of was thought that just because he was 18, instead of 17 that it was an adult marrying a child. It was two young adults getting married.

Hmm…interesting.
Perhaps I should stop supporting my kids when they turn 16 then…they can get married and support themselves …YIPEE that means my eldest as of next May can pay his own tuition, clothing and fooding expense…let his wife support him!!!

 

[wjp984]

the age of consent is as low as 14 in some places in the United States. I am not positive but I think one of them is Hawaii. Oklahoma I think is 16 and like another poster stated, there are other states where you don’t need parental consent to get married.

 

[jmcrae]

Hmm…interesting.
Perhaps I should stop supporting my kids when they turn 16 then…they can get married and support themselves …YIPEE that means my eldest as of next May can pay his own tuition, clothing and fooding expense…let his wife support him!!!

Don’t just spring this on him, though. Let him know in good time that he’s got until his sixteenth birthday to get a job and figure out his living arrangements.

In most cultures, people are considered “adults” when they are capable of making babies.

In our culture, we prize education, so we want our young people to become well-educated before they set up housekeeping for themselves.

 

[Karin]

Don’t just spring this on him, though. Let him know in good time that he’s got until his sixteenth birthday to get a job and figure out his living arrangements.

WHAT…now you really are taking all the fun out of it!

jmcrae:

In our culture, we prize education, so we want our young people to become well-educated before they set up housekeeping for themselves.

Yeah that is true…guess I have to keep him around a bit longer then next May when he turns 16. At least till he is done with High School…then…

 

[MariaG]

Hmm…interesting.
Perhaps I should stop supporting my kids when they turn 16 then…they can get married and support themselves …YIPEE that means my eldest as of next May can pay his own tuition, clothing and fooding expense…let his wife support him!!!

And this relates to my point exactly how?

I said we currently are raising our children with an extended childhood. Most kids today are unable to assume the responsibilities of adults. Responsibilities that in the past it was common for “kids” that age to assume. Responsibilities that a few are actually capable of taking on today.

While we do need to protect our children, the *automatic *assumption that a relationship between an 18 year old and a 16 year old means the 18 year old "adult"should go to jail for being in a sexual relationship with a 16 year old “child” is a wrong one.

God Bless,
Maria

 

[InJesusChrist]

Hi,

first off, if this couple was married in a catholic church, that would surprise me considering the fact that they have not received Holy
Communion or even first communion. They need to go to RCIA
and study the catechism.

The priest will likely have their marriage blessed then at some point. then they can have first communion and then confirmation.

If they are serious about staying married and it is not just a whim
( meaning not just a passing fancy ) and they want to be practicing Catholics, they have to go to RCIA.

Talk to your priest about this situation and see what he has to say
about this situation. You can enoucrage them to start studying the catechism of the Catholic Church. Find out if your parish has a class that is starting soon. i do not know what the requirements
are in your country, but over here in North America, the RCIA usually starts every October, dependeing on the diocese I guess?

The first thing to do is to talk to a priest, tell him everything ang go from there. Ask the couple if they would be willing to go meet
with the priest. Let us know how this works out.

God bless you.

Thanks for you lot of comments and information. Actually i am sorry to say that here no any RCIA.
I had have been preprared children as a catechism few years ago as a volunteer to help me priest. Because i am x seminarian too. So i am know how to teach the children about catechism.
So i think i can better to teach them evening time. They both are illerates. But i hope i can teah them slowly slowly and one day they will able to get the confimation and Holy communion.
Yeah i will talk with my priest on comming Sunday too. I hope i will get positive response.
YEah sure i will tell you what will giong on. Please pray for them. In this time they need prayers.
Thanks

 

[InJesusChrist]

Does anybody have ANY issues or see a problem that an ADULT (18y/o) married a CHILD (16y/o)???
I would be heading to the POLICE STATION and filing charges if an adult married my minor child with out PARENTAL CONSENT…I mean how did they even get a marriage liscense(sp?)!

**I am not really understand what you want to ask me. But as i think and understand that here are some posters i am not want to mention them which church they belong to but they confirm the marriages to get some money.
Actually here Our Gov. you know under the Muslims so they dont care what the things happened in Christianity.
Yeah if we want to report in the police its not easy as in USA. We need lot of money to report in the police other wise they arent work on. You see!
**

 

[InJesusChrist]

Hmmmmm actaully here is no any rule to marriage any child without parents will. Its a traditionally and calture facts here to marriage with parents with. So time its happen if any child show her desire to marriage her girl friend then parents happily to marriage them and this kind of flexibilties now we are seeing here. but its not mean that children marriage without perents will. If any one do this. He lost his/her parents. Because perants arent accept him/her his child.
Its is big punishement.
Same happend with my cousin.

 

[InJesusChrist]

We now raise our children with an extended childhood.

My grandfather was 18 when he married my 15 (almost 16) year old grandmother. No one called the police of was thought that just because he was 18, instead of 17 that it was an adult marrying a child. It was two young adults getting married.

Wow…intersting…