Re marrying your ex

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lexie21

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Are you able to remarry your ex in the Catholic church that you once married in before? neither one of us married after our divorce. is this considered a moral sin in the eyes of god
 
If you and your ex married in the Catholic Church before, I think that if you never applied for annulment and just divorced, you’re still considered married in the Catholic Church. So I guess you just need to do the legal part, civilly marry. It’s not a sin to marry your husband.
 
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What did you mean by the legal part? Get remarried in the church that you once wed in?
 
“Civil” or “legal” means getting the Marriage certificate from the state. You are either Married to your ex, or you are not. So, visit with your Priest and explain the situation. If one/both of you were Catholic at the time of the wedding, but you were Married outside the Church, then you never entered into Sacramental Marriage…and you can “get Married”. If you Married in the Church, or if neither of you were Catholic at the time of the wedding, then your Marriage is presumed valid, and you are already Married, even if separated for a time. In that case, you could have your Marriage convalidated or blessed, or whatever is appropriate. Talk to your Priest about your particular circumstances.
 
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Both Catholic at the time and married in a Catholic church… Question if you divorced are you still considered Catholic? I feel that i am not because of the divorce. I’m only asking because we are afraid to speak to the priest. Not sure how he will react? Thank you
 
lexie21 said:
Both Catholic at the time and married in a Catholic church… Question if you divorced are you still considered Catholic? I feel that i am not because of the divorce. I’m only asking because we are afraid to speak to the priest. Not sure how he will react? Thank you
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As (name removed by moderator) mentions above, do not worry. Even if getting a “divorce” is a sin, we still keep our Catholic identity (an indelible mark from our Baptism) even when we sin. 🙂
Sounds like you both just need to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession) just like the rest of us sinners, and get back to living the faith. Your Priest should be elated to hear your story and to welcome you back home!!

ETA: “Both Catholic at the time and married in a Catholic church…”, which means you have a presumably valid Marriage. 🙂

Another ETA: there are some sins that can get you excommunicated. Civil divorce isn’t one of them. And even if it were, you would still be able to reconcile with the Church, and the Priest would be all-too-happy to help you through that.
 
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There s a lot of internal forum stuff here that needs to be worked through even if nothing from the canonical side needs to be done (other than perhaps getting civilly married again).

Pope Benedict advised any partner who eventually comes to the stable conclusion that their marriage is not valid is morally obliged to live as brother and sister and have their marriage evaluated by a tribunal (first requiring a civil divorce).

So this suggests you need to reflect on the actual situation, before God, at the time when you originally left your ex.

If at sometime in the past you did conclude that you weren’t really validly married…then you have to somehow reconcile that reality with your reasons for cohabiting again.

A priest would be very helpful in working through these internal issues and lead you to a mature and stable decision either way - regardless of whether or not anything external is required. It might be helpful to renew your marriage vows if you do get back together.
As your marriage was never annulled, and if you always believed you were validly married in the Church. then you cannot “remarry” again in the Church as you never left that state.
 
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You have never been unmarried. A government-approved certificate of re-marriage may be useful for tax or inheritance purposes, but you are as married as you ever were. A few details remain, of course, but those will be addressed soon enough.
 
Address your question to the diocesan office first rather than risk getting a local Priest who may not be familiar with your set of circumstances. Hopefully the administration can point you to someone with a good Canon Law background to guide you through the process. Don’t be afraid though. I think your story is one to be rejoiced in.
 
Court option #2: You may file an appeal in court to overturn the divorce. However, adultery can arise during any sexual practices which occur with foreign partners. The State cannot fix that issue, only promote it, so it is wise to go to confession should that have occurred.

The State may also solidify adultery with third-parties in a process called matrimony, fortunately, your wife is a God fearing woman.
 
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Likely any statute allowing an appeal would have already run (as in, expired) and from the OP’s question, there are no grounds for an appeal. An appeal can only be made on a mistake of law by the judge. And as no-fault divorce does not require the judge to make a legal finding beyond the petitioner’s statement - which has already been made - no appellate court would hear the matter.
 
There is no internal forum stuff. The Church presumes the marriage is valid, unless and until a tribunal finds grounds to issue a decree of nullity. As none have been issued per the OP’s statement, there is nothing to work out.

People don’t go to a divorce attorney because they believe they have an invalid marriage; they go because they don’t want or can’t stand to be married to the other person. And that has nothing intrinsically to do with a decree of nullity, or any so-called internal forum.
 
lexie21 said:
Question if you divorced are you still considered Catholic?
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Yes, of course you are. Depending on the reasons for the divorce, there may be a need for confession for your part in the breakdown of the marriage (or there may not be if you were an innocent party in the situation). It’s something to talk to your pastor about.
lexie21 said:
I feel that i am not because of the divorce. I’m only asking because we are afraid to speak to the priest.
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Never be afraid to speak to your pastor! Fear is keeping you away from the sacraments. Divorce does not excommunicate you from the church!!!

It’s wonderful that you and your husband have reconciled and want to resume your life as husband and wife. You are still married from the Church’s point of view. If you obtained a civil divorce then you will need to marry again under civil law.
 
I would suggest speaking with your pastor as to how the situation is best resolved. This is something we on here don’t have sufficient information to deal with.
 
I agree with renewing vows!

To the OP:
There is no “re-marrying” according to the Church. A divorce would only be a State procedure.
 
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I am well aware of what the internal forum is. It is irrelevant to the question the OP asked. Your foray into issues for a tribunal are irrelevant to the OP’s question and only result in confusion to someone who is obviously not aware of how to heal her current position. Neither are seeking to marry someone else. From what the OP stated, there is no reason to presume that subsequent to their divorce, either married a third person. They want to remarry, and get right with the Church. The Church’s position is that they are still married; the position of the State is that they are not.
 
I just want to reiterate what others have said that you should not be afraid to talk to your priest. Any priest I know would be thrilled to help you and your (ex)husband be reunited to each other and to the Church.

Anecdotally, I’ll say that I know a couple who was in a similar situation. They divorced, the husband went down a bad path for some time, but eventually “came to his senses.” They found their way back to each other and now have a beautiful marriage.

God bless you!
 
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