Reaching out - should I?

[Yogi89]

There is this guy I been on a few dates with in the past who I really liked, and still do. When we first met, he was really into me. But, things didn’t work out… He said it was impossible for him to get close to me. He’s right, because I really am not that close with anyone, even though I have a good amount of ‘close’ friends, I wouldn’t say I open up to any of them, and same with my family. I am guarded, and my sister had agreed he was right. But, I also think it has to do with me not being sexual. He is Catholic, and very respectful, however he is an affectionate (which I like) but also a sexual guy. He knew I wasn’t sexual, even without me saying anything about it. He even could tell I never made out with a guy before. When he said he liked me and still does like me, but that it was impossible for him to get close to me, he never mentioned anyhing about the sexual part. But, I feel in my heart that that was an issue for him, but I know he wouldn’t mention that because he knows I’m religious and he is respectful. Anyways, last time he called was in December, and we have not talked since. I still like him, and I’m worried I won’t meet anyone that I will like the same way, as most guys these days I don’t care for at all.
He’s not only a good catch, but we had great chemistry. He would be a good father and husband some day. I am willing to change my ways and open up, and be more vulnerable as well, which Is hard for me to do. Should I reach out to him? I really want to, but i don’t know what to say. Should I text, call? Or just leave it alone? Need some advice! Thanks

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Not to sound harsh, but if he hasn’t called since December then I think this is a case of “he’s just not that into you.” Time to find another nice guy, not chase after this one with hopes of changing yourself into what he wants. That’s not going to work and you shouldn’t have to work that hard to change for somebody. The right person for you will like you the way you are and will stick around to build trust so you open up more over time.

I spent way too much time when I was younger mooning after guys I had not heard from in way too long. Don’t you make the same mistake.

 

[Irishmom2]

I spent way too much time when I was younger mooning after guys I had not heard from in way too long. Don’t you make the same mistake.

That is quite easy to do when the dating pool is a wading pool.
It is easy to pine over the last guy and make him into the perfect guy when there is no one else. But when someone else interests you someday, you will look back and understand what we are saying.

I commend you Yogi, for having standards and not doing things you know are wrong. There is a guy out there that shares your beliefs. Until then, just work on your relationship with God and becoming “the best possible you,” (as Matthew Kelly would say.)

 

[egretps]

I suggest you place this young man into God’s Hands and leave him there.

When I was much younger and single, after too many ‘not-that- into-me’ guys, my mom handed me a Booklet. It was a Novena to St Joseph. I hadn’t been that devout, but I made it in order to find a career and ask that he help find me a husband. He did. My husband wasn’t even looking and knew the moment we met.

I suggest you place yourself in Our Lords hands, and ask for the prayers of St. Joseph or St. Ann, or Our Lady.

Do not change your good behavior.

God Bless you and you will be in my prayers.

 

[1ke]

What do you mean by you are “not sexual”?

 

[Anglewannabe]

He even could tell I never made out with a guy before.

Is it just me or is it not creepy to have a guy say after a kiss ‘I can tell you never did this before’. Almost sounds like he didn’t enjoy it. Ouch

When he said he liked me and still does like me, but that it was impossible for him to get close to me, he never mentioned anyhing about the sexual part.

I bolded the important part. He does NOT want to get close to you. Period leave it at that. Women (I admit I am included in this) make the mistake of trying to figure out why men are not interested. The reality is, men rarely give the real reason unless they have been in a long term commitment. They just don’t want to deal with the consequences of honesty. So listen to the bolded part and move on.

But, I feel in my heart that that was an issue for him,

If premarital sex is an issue for him good ridance

I’m worried I won’t meet anyone that I will like the same way

A lot of posters here suggested you will meet someone else. And I don’t necessarily agree. Only God knows if His will is for you to marry or be single. But what I do believe is the only way to true happiness is to do God’s will

, but we had great chemistry.

WIth all due respect, it doesn’t appear he would say the same thing

. I am willing to change my ways and open up, and be more vulnerable as well, which Is hard for me to do.

Don’t fool yourself and PLEASE do not make a promise to a man you can’t keep. Start opening up to other people to see if you really can and then this won’t be an issue with the next guy. Not to mention, maybe the reason you could not open up to him was because deep down you knew he wasn’t safe and you were showing wisdom.

 

[Yogi89]

Is it just me or is it not creepy to have a guy say after a kiss ‘I can tell you never did this before’. Almost sounds like he didn’t enjoy it. Ouch

I bolded the important part. He does NOT want to get close to you. Period leave it at that. Women (I admit I am included in this) make the mistake of trying to figure out why men are not interested. The reality is, men rarely give the real reason unless they have been in a long term commitment. They just don’t want to deal with the consequences of honesty. So listen to the bolded part and move on.

If premarital sex is an issue for him good ridance

A lot of posters here suggested you will meet someone else. And I don’t necessarily agree. Only God knows if His will is for you to marry or be single. But what I do believe is the only way to true happiness is to do God’s will

WIth all due respect, it doesn’t appear he would

well, just to be clear … I never kissed him! He made this assumption on his own without any kissing; probably because I was physically standoff ish and he knows I’m religious, but I never told him what I have done or not done. And just so you know he ended up texting me , and before things ended he was way into me than I was Into him, otherwise I wouldn’t even consider contacting him. But, it doesn’t matter anymore anway, because I am going to trust God in whoever is meant to be my future spouse, or if I don’t that’s ok too. You are right though, women tend to analyze too much and I need to just leave it alone. Thank you

 

[polki]

No. You should not contact him.