Reading Too Much - Sin?

[dan1el]

On one hand, I feel that I am in peril of being deceived and misled if I do not expose myself to the words of our Lord Jesus, but on the other hand, I feel distant from Him in spirit…

At one point, I was praying and fell asleep; then, waking up (half-asleep) told Him “I don’t love You anymore” (feeling that it is a terrible failure, and despite the fact that I wanted to love Him), and at that moment He flooded me with His love (shock).

I want to love Him, but I feel like I am grown distant and I feel like I am being lulled to sleep from different distractions and possible sins which makes me lose boldness and without boldness, I cannot confess Him… sometimes I have this urgency that I have to get right, and then I am not sure what to do to “get right”, and then I feel like something telling me “don’t worry, God will handle it” and I am not sure if it is a lack of trust on my part of God, or if it is the devil trying to lull me to death.

 

[StrawberryJam]

On one hand, I feel that I am in peril of being deceived and misled if I do not expose myself to the words of our Lord Jesus, but on the other hand, I feel distant from Him in spirit…

At one point, I was praying and fell asleep; then, waking up (half-asleep) told Him “I don’t love You anymore” (feeling that it is a terrible failure, and despite the fact that I wanted to love Him), and at that moment He flooded me with His love (shock).

I want to love Him, but I feel like I am grown distant and I feel like I am being lulled to sleep from different distractions and possible sins which makes me lose boldness and without boldness, I cannot confess Him… sometimes I have this urgency that I have to get right, and then I am not sure what to do to “get right”, and then I feel like something telling me “don’t worry, God will handle it” and I am not sure if it is a lack of trust on my part of God, or if it is the devil trying to lull me to death.

Has this all started happening after you felt you were reading too much? I am confused about what started your troubles.

 

[John92]

On one hand, I feel that I am in peril of being deceived and misled if I do not expose myself to the words of our Lord Jesus, but on the other hand, I feel distant from Him in spirit…

At one point, I was praying and fell asleep; then, waking up (half-asleep) told Him “I don’t love You anymore” (feeling that it is a terrible failure, and despite the fact that I wanted to love Him), and at that moment He flooded me with His love (shock).

I want to love Him, but I feel like I am grown distant and I feel like I am being lulled to sleep from different distractions and possible sins which makes me lose boldness and without boldness, I cannot confess Him… sometimes I have this urgency that I have to get right, and then I am not sure what to do to “get right”, and then I feel like something telling me “don’t worry, God will handle it” and I am not sure if it is a lack of trust on my part of God, or if it is the devil trying to lull me to death.

Prayer and good works, prayer and good works. Don’t worry about anything else. God will take care of you.

Try to say the Rosary at least once a day; if you can say it three times a day, contemplating all fifteen mysteries, so much the better. When you have nothing to do, pray the Jesus Prayer: while breathing in, “Lord Jesus Christ”, while exhaling, “Only Son of the Living God,” while inhaling “Have mercy on me,” while exhaling “A sinner.” Watch for opportunities to do good. If you live with your parents, sweep the floor, or do the dishes, or tidy up. If someone is sad, comfort them. Or do your homework, even though you want to put it off. Stuff like that.

Prayer and good works → Heaven.

Maybe you should think about joining the true, full, Apostolic Faith. Maybe that’s where the unease is. I know what you mean about feeling like you’re “losing your devotion”, but that’s what frequent prayer is for: when we get caught up in the world, caught up in sin, we pray and thus turn our hearts back to he who made us and loves us as no other can.

This stuff isn’t hard, small good works I mean, and prayer makes it easier

 

[HAP0623]

This kind of sounds like something that happened to me. Bad thoughts would come to me, especially at church about Jesus and I would feel so so horrible and guilty, but I couldnt help it. Every week these bad thoughts would pop in my head and I prayed a few times not to think of them but nothing seemed to work, finally I felt so guilty about these thoughts and said a very heartfelt prayer and really meant it, and prayed that I never have these thoughts again, and it did the trick. I even bought a really nice picture of Jesus to hang on my wall so I never forget what He did for us.

I highly highly recommend the book 23 Minutes in Hell by Bill Wiese, it will really make you think, even if you dont believe his story. I thought it was amazing though, I read it in just a few hours it was so good.

I wish you luck though, remember that God loves you and is always there.

God Bless!